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Spicy Subscriptions Adult Product Boxes (NSFW)

By: on January 20, 2015
$19.95 - $29
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Gifting a lady a Spicy Subscription sexy time box for Valentine's Day is like giving her a treadmill in that her use of it will directly benefit you, but way better because there will be less lag time before you see the results, and probably when she opens it she'll blush and giggle instead of slapping you and withholding sex for an indeterminate number of days. Spicy Subscriptions' monthly boxes o' sex life enhancement are the ultimate gift that keeps on giving, and the kind every man can get behind. Particularly when your uniquely themed shipment includes some lube.

Spicy Subscriptions offers two different monthly delivery types, The Spice Box for $29/month and the Toy of the Month for $19.95. Spice Boxes contain a curated assortment of candles, sex toys, oils, and other romantic items intended to turn couples' intimacy up to 11. (Speaking of which, I'm pretty sure the boxes work even better when used in conjunction with some Van Halen.) Each includes: 1 sex toy; 2 to 3 "deluxe sexy items"; and 2-3 x trial products. Fingers crossed February is Cheetos-flavored body paint month!

As its name suggests, the Toy of the Month Spicy Subscription is a single item service for those who want only the nuts & bolts...and anal beads & dildos.

Muchas danke to Trend Hunter.

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Vibrating Panties (NSFW)

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New life hack, ladies: vibrating panties for your long, miserable commute. Vibrating panties for your long, miserable shift. Vibrating panties for your long, miserable night of caring for your poor little monkey with...

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Luxury Mile High Club Experience

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Don't just simulate them in a Jet Bed, realize your aero-fantasies with the Luxury Mile High Club Experience. Wish.co.uk, peddlers of myriad activities intended to prevent life and its inhabitants from becoming boring...

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Boregasm Pills

Good thing yawns and O faces look about the same because, thanks to research being conducted by a handful of (presumably exhausted and horny) PhD students at Indiana University's The Kinsey Institute, they're about to...

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

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Japanese Electric Piston Masturbator (NSFW)

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Note: The Japanese electric piston masturbator's NSFW designation serves not so much as a reminder that this device is not suitable to view at work as it does a reminder that it is not suitable to use at work. I found...

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LaunchPAD - Fleshlight iPad Case (NSFW)

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Though it's not electric or piston-powered...or Japanese...like this friendly sex toy, the LaunchPAD does employ advanced technology in a valiant effort to enhance Man's alone time. The makers of male masturbatory aid...

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The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas (NSFW)

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Is further product description really needed? First there was Georgia O'Keefe, now there is author and illustrator Morgan Hastings. Black-and-white outlines of anatomical wonders beg for your acrylic and Crayola technicolor...

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Sex Positions You Never Thought Possible (NSFW)

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Remember that one time you let some chick drag you to hot yoga because she too was hot and you wanted to see her do bendy things in spandex pants, but then you ended up spending the whole class lying on your back trying...

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Vibrating Bicycle Seat

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A heads up to politicians and city planners: stop wasting your money on bike lanes, tax incentives, and PSA campaigns. All you need do to persuade your constituents to trade in cars for bicycles on their morning commute...

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Paco's Taco Stroker

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At first I was like, Who the h-e-double-boner named this kitchen tool "Paco's Taco Stroker?" I'm going to make so many masturbation jokes when I write about it. And then I looked closer and was like, Holy hard-on! They...

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The Pop-up Book of Sex (NSFW)

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It's a good thing The Pop-up Book of Sex came to us (hard, I hear) over 10 years ago because the decade in between gave YouTubers plenty of time to put together a detailed video flip-through of every single one of the...

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Little Rooster Alarm Clock Vibrator

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Oh (face) no, the rooster's crowing (buzzing) already?! Come (yes, please) on! Do I really have to get up (off)? I hear you, ladies. It's a brutal world of mornings, alarms, and orgasms we live in. I'll keep my fingers...