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Basketball Backpack

By: on July 16, 2012
$24.95
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Much to the agony of the kids who have to go back and the ecstasy of the parents who get to send them, it's time to start thinking about school. Painful for young'uns in every way, less their opportunity to rake in a bunch of new swag. The Basketball Backpack aims to assuage elementary schoolers' plight of toting complex books about long division and state capitols. Unzip the front compartment, fold down the rim, and whoosh! go the minutes of little Matty waiting for the bus, waiting for class to start, waiting for a ride home, and waiting for the hot 5th grader in the hot pink short shorts to notice his sweet hook shot. (Which really is pretty sweet, especially for an 8-year-old. He's got baller's hands. He'll probably start at guard for the Varsity team as a freshman. And you're not just saying that 'cause you're his father....)

The Basketball Backpack includes a 3" ball, and is fitted with padded straps and back, a mesh side pocket for a water bottle, an a long handle for hanging on a door knob. Oh yeah, it also has a zippered compartment for books.

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Handbag Dyetonator Bag & Purse Thief Marker

Malaysian company Ash Be Nimble launched the Handbag Dyetonator, an accessory that permanently marks thieves with dye and releases a smoke flare upon activation, because bag and purse theft is apparently a huge problem...

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Defender Anti-Theft Backpack

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Due to my hulking presence and penetrating stare, people usually know better than to try and steal...or touch...or come within 10 feet of my stuff. But I'll grant that theft, and pickpocketing in particular, is a worldwide...

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G2 Turbo - Wearable Fan for Back(pack) Sweat

$19 - $23 from Kickstarter »

Part of me hopes the Presti G2 Turbo becomes the Little Crowdfunding Project That Could. Because I just saw The Goonies on cable for the 400th time, and this aerator of back sweat - what inventor Edwin Wang calls the...

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Batman Backpack

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I guess since the Dark Knight Rises motorcycle suit pretty much congeals itself to the body of whomever puts it on with nary a pocket to spare, UD Replicas figured they better come out with some sort of supplemental storage...

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Carbon Fiber Fanny Pack

$249 from Common Fibers »

Common Fibers knows carbon fiber. Common Fibers knows the 1980s. And one look at the The Coolest Fanny--aka The Manny Pack--aka The CF2--and you know Common Fibers. Knows. Men. I for one have never wanted anything so...

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Black Ember Modular Backpacks

$180 - $265 from Black Ember »

If James Bond needed a backpack to tote his textbooks and laptop to physics class, I bet a Black Ember is what he'd choose. Modular, waterproof, and very, very black, these bags are customizable with an array of accessories...

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The Undercover - Changing Room in a Backpack

$69 - $75 from The Undress »

The streakers, flashers, and proud displayers of crack of the world will probably take offense at The Undercover, but for the rest of us, a portable changing room that carries our change of, or changed-out-of, clothes...

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G-RO Carry-on: The One Bag

$279 - $378 from G-RO »

While the greedy, unchecked executives of the airline industry continue to make flying more difficult, expensive, and miserable for their own profits, private companies like Ostrich and G-RO are developing ways to make...

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Cocoon Go Go Gadget Pack

$79.99 from Cocoon »

Geez, here's a backpack that has as many fancy names associated with it as it does fancy pockets for holding gadgets. Organization brand Cocoon (that's #1) has released its SLIM (#2) tech backpack with MacBook Pro (#3)...

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Urban Tool Shoulder Holsters

$39.90 - $159 from Urban Tool »

They lie somewhere between backpacks, messenger bags, and places to store your gun. They're Urban Tool Shoulder Holsters. And they may be eye-rollingly hipster, but hey, at least they also provide a compact means of stashing...

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Barn Owl Pellets

$12.97 from Amazon »

Barn owl pellets are the results of barn owls wolfing down their food without chewing it enough. Just like I do. But unlike me, the owls do not have cast iron stomachs that can digest the fur and bones of the little rodents...

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Dakine BC Utility Vest

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I was recently at a bar for happy hour and it was jam packed with 1) Amazon employees and 2) Amazon employees' backpacks. I felt like I was at Adult Latch Key. They got let out of work but their mamas couldn't pick them...