Titanium Bottle Opener Sunglasses
/titanium-bottle-opener-7175.jpg "Titanium Bottle Opener Sunglasses")
- Glossy Black Bottle Opener Gradient Lens Sunglasses - $11.99
- Skull Bottle Opener Ring - $7.95
- Hangover/Alan BluBlocker Sunglasses - $44.99
- Neon Aviator Sunglasses - $14.99
- Coors Light Bottle Opener Flip Flops - $17.99
Sunglasses. They can become as iconic as the people whose eyes they cover. Like the ones that Aykroyd and Belushi wore in The Blues Brothers. That Tom Cruise wore in Top Gun. That Ray Charles wore in...life. And now, from forth the loins of fine eyewear peddler William Painter, comes a pair of titanium UV shields with bottle opener arms that could very well initiate a new glasses craze. Or at least increase the statistics for six-pack consumption when the sun is out.
Formerly called Liquid Shades, the newly-christened William Painter Originals carve out aerospace-grade titanium frames, anodize them twice, and then add a powder coating that combats scratching and chafing just as effectively as similar powder coatings used on mountain bikes or, perhaps more relatably, man tonsils. Polarized lenses are made from Cr-39 material to support lightness and durability, and can also be swapped out for prescription inserts. My estimation, based on the rockin' pair I have, is that William Painters will withstand being sat on once or twice as well.
The sunglasses' classic wayfarer style fits all faces, but probably still won't look that good on ugly people. That's cool though because when I show up with a trunkload of Armageddon 65% ABV and start cracking 'em open with my twin pair of built-in bottle openers, it won't be more than a half hour before the ladies start confusing me nervously perspiring in my William Painter's with Bradley Cooper riding shirtless on a Hellcat Combat in his.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
/the-complete-home-bar-product-31094.jpg?mode=crop "The Complete Home Bar Product Guide")
The Complete Home Bar Product Guide
Stocking a home bar might be the only household chore on earth I would describe as "joyous." From glassware for beer, wine, and whiskey, to the bottle opening, cork-pulling, cocktail-shaking tools of the bartending trade...
/roo-balls-kangaroo-scrotum-15928.jpg "Roo Balls Kangaroo Scrotum Bottle Openers")
Roo Balls Kangaroo Scrotum Bottle Openers
Want to be a true baller? Then grab that Triple IPA and crack it open with the scrotum of a Red Kangaroo. Or an Eastern Grey. Roo Balls turns (humanely and legally acquired*) castrated kangaroo bits into beer and wine...
/polarized-xxl-sunglasses-for-39196.jpg?mode=crop "Polarized XXL Sunglasses for People with Big Heads")
Polarized XXL Sunglasses for People with Big Heads
Got a fat head on the wrong end? Faded Days isn't the only brand that makes polarized XXL sunglasses for people with big heads, but they do seem particularly committed to the process. First they ran a wide-head-sunglasses...
/anti-tracking-rearview-mirror-60207.jpg?mode=crop "Anti-Tracking Rearview Mirror Sunglasses"){kind=tracking}
Anti-Tracking Rearview Mirror Sunglasses
You won't just look slick in these shades, you'll be performing slick tricks of "I see you, smarmo!" on anyone who might be tailing you, thanks to the sunglasses' anti-tracking mirror coating. They're basically mirrored...
/retro-sunglasses-with-secret-60339.jpg?mode=crop "Retro Sunglasses With Secret Compartments")
Retro Sunglasses With Secret Compartments
The Retro Sunglasses With Secret Compartments don't come right out and say the secret compartments are secret joint compartments, but come on. The secret compartments are inside the long, tubey temple ends of the sunglasses...
/irl-ad-blocker-glasses-35231.jpg?mode=crop "IRL Ad Blocker Glasses")
IRL Ad Blocker Glasses
They live. IRL Glasses are real-life sunglasses that block ads - that block all screen visuals - in real time. No joke, they're real news created to black out fake news. And screens blasting aggressive backlit pushes...
/dark-days-of-summer-et-cool-54901.jpg?mode=crop "Dark Days of Summer: 13 Cool Summer Products in Black")
Dark Days of Summer: 13 Cool Summer Products in Black
I'm summer lovin' these 13 cool summer products in black, and not a-one of them is named Danny Zuko. (And I still say Sandy deserved better. Ladies, you shouldn't have to change yourself into a skin-tight-leather clad...
/razersuperfuture-gamer-60130.jpg?mode=crop "Razersuperfuture Gamer Sunglasses")
Razersuperfuture Gamer Sunglasses
I know what you're thinking about Razersuperfutures, a collaboration between Razer and Retrosuperfuture to create so-called "gamer sunglasses." You're thinking, When do gamers ever go out in the sun? Well, don't worry...
Bottle Poppin' Butterfly Knife
The Bottleneck butterfly knife: skin a deer, then pop a beer. Mantis Knives teamed up with fraternal duo Gavin and Grant Hawk a couple years ago to design a special blend of blade. The Bottleneck BK-3b is sized like a...
/glow-rhino-tritium-edc-gear-45668.jpg?mode=crop "Glow Rhino Tritium EDC Gear")
Glow Rhino Tritium EDC Gear
Sure, Glow Rhino's tritium-studded tools will add some swagger to your EDC. But when things go dark, and the self-powered light source kicks in to glow neon bright as a beacon to your keys, your beer cap, your roaming...
/mecarmy-titanium-tactical-ring-34956.jpg?mode=crop "MecArmy Titanium Tactical Ring with Tritium Glow Bars")
MecArmy Titanium Tactical Ring with Tritium Glow Bars
MecArmy has made a formidable Titanium Tactical Ring for dudes. In addition to its industrial, and sort of intimidating, design, the ring make the perfect gift for a man who enjoys the intense glow of tritium, the satisfying...
/feat-image-30402.jpg?mode=crop "High Quality Men's Sunglasses Under $50")
High Quality Men's Sunglasses Under $50
High quality men's sunglasses ringing in at under $50 aren't too hard to find. Unless they're on top of your head. Then you'll be searching for 20 minutes...