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Titanium Bottle Opener Sunglasses

By: on March 19, 2013
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Sunglasses. They can become as iconic as the people whose eyes they cover. Like the ones that Aykroyd and Belushi wore in The Blues Brothers. That Tom Cruise wore in Top Gun. That Ray Charles wore in...life. And now, from forth the loins of fine eyewear peddler William Painter, comes a pair of titanium UV shields with bottle opener arms that could very well initiate a new glasses craze. Or at least increase the statistics for six-pack consumption when the sun is out.

Formerly called Liquid Shades, the newly-christened William Painter Originals carve out aerospace-grade titanium frames, anodize them twice, and then add a powder coating that combats scratching and chafing just as effectively as similar powder coatings used on mountain bikes or, perhaps more relatably, man tonsils. Polarized lenses are made from Cr-39 material to support lightness and durability, and can also be swapped out for prescription inserts. My estimation, based on the rockin' pair I have, is that William Painters will withstand being sat on once or twice as well.

The sunglasses' classic wayfarer style fits all faces, but probably still won't look that good on ugly people. That's cool though because when I show up with a trunkload of Armageddon 65% ABV and start cracking 'em open with my twin pair of built-in bottle openers, it won't be more than a half hour before the ladies start confusing me nervously perspiring in my William Painter's with Bradley Cooper riding shirtless on a Hellcat Combat in his.

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