Laser Pointer Tactical Necktie
Does a necktie equipped with a laser pointer and MOLLE system take the current tactical fad a step too far? Yeah, but...I kind of want one, so...on second thought, definitely not. ThinkGeek's tactical tie is fitted with a real Class II red laser pointer in a removable pouch, plus a second removable flapped pouch with quick-release buckle for storing Skittles and pre-moistened spit balls to throw at anyone who appears to be texting or nodding off during your presentation. Made of black nylon, the tie also incorporates a plastic D-loop in case you want to hang keys or a phone or a 20-ounce water bottle from it for further convenience and progress towards building Incredible Hulk neck muscles.
I guess the one downside of the laser pointer necktie is that it's incredibly ugly. I mean, I'm pretty sure Archer would deem it an egregious affront to the male wardrobe. Then again, Inspector Gadget and MacGyver would probably approve. So I guess you just have to decide whose opinion you value more: designer suits and turtlenecks, or trench coats and mullets.