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Goomba Cufflinks

By: on January 17, 2012
$36
from
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If you like these goomba cufflinks, you probably hate wearing the types of shirts that require cufflinks, so owning a pair might make the inevitable wedding, funeral, Christmas party, or arraignment you have to dress up for an average of 2.7 times per year a little more bearable. Mario and Luigi's least ominous nemeses are made of hand-sculpted polymer clay and coated with a low-gloss glaze. They measure .75 x .85 inches, and are affixed to silver-plated links. When worn in a room brimming with egomaniacal bigwigs, a touch of the goomba on an offender's arm or back will shrink him to half his size. Beware, however, of brushing the same guy twice--at least not before some toadstool boosts him back up--as a second goomba encounter will make him freeze in shock and fall off the horizon.

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Keytendo Video Game Console Key Holder

$29.99 from Amazon »

Somewhere between way too much and not nearly enough geek lies the Keytendo, an NES-themed key holder, and your Goldilocks gift for a geek....

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Conor McGregor F*ck You Pinstripe Suit

$6,500 from David August »

I don't know how long the rest of the world will remember the Conor McGregor vs. Floyd Mayweather fight after it's over, but anyone who drops $6,500 on a David August Fuck You pinstripe suit like the one McGregor wore...

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Working Pip-Boy 3000

The electronic Personal Information Processor (PIP) manufactured by RobCo Industries in Fallout 3 and Fallout: New Vegas is now a viable acquisition to your non-gaming, non-digitized, biological life. Which is not only...

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ScorpionExo Covert Kevlar Flannel Shirt

$129.95 - $140.21 from Amazon »

Kevlar flannel. It's why Kurt Cobain didn't die in a motorcycle crash. Nah. I don't know if Cobain even rode a bike. But if he did, ScorpionExo's Covert Flannel could have helped save his hide if he went down. The shirt...

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DC & Marvel Comics Suits

$169.99 - $349.99 from Fun.com Suits »

Holy Marvel of Washington DC, Batman! They made a suit out of you! As teased in a preview a couple weeks ago, Fun.com is releasing a line of men's (funny / monkey?) business suits in tribute to your favorite superheroes...

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Naughty People Outlet Stickers

$8.10 from Amazon »

These naughty people. Doing doggy style on an electrical outlet. Didn't their mamas teach them anything? Dude better keep his finger out of his lady's mouth (and eyes if they're into that sort of thing) or this love session...

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The JerkShirt (NSFW)

Now don't take NSFW the wrong way. The JerkShirt was indeed created primarily for the office (and secondarily for the dinner table). But I would caution against watching the video, illuminating as it may be, within eye-...

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Pip-Boy: Deluxe Bluetooth Edition

$349.99 from ThinkGeek »

Die-hard Fallout fans, avid gamers, and gadget-giddy dudes in general, I present to you: a working Pip-Boy Model 3000 Mk IV replica. Also known as: your Sunday morning hard-on. Sure, you could call ThinkGeek's Deluxe...

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Diamond Armor - $3.2 Million Bulletproof Suit

$3.2 million from SuitArt »

At $3.2 million, Swiss fashion house SuitArt's Diamond Armor has nabbed the title of Most Expensive Suit in the World. The current title. I will obliterate it next month when I debut my Diamond & Adamantium Armor for...

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Working Nintendo Controller Coffee Table

$6k from Etsy »

What holds feet, beer, and the controls that will drive your world-record-setting Tetris score? Feast your eyes on the fully-functional Nintendo Controller Coffee Table. Charles Lushear has entwined old school entertainment...

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Mattel Classic Football Game Keychain

$11.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Mattel's handheld Classic Football gets sized for even smaller hands in this mini version of the iconic 70s game. Calling it a "keychain" is a bit of a stretch - unless you like stuffing keychains the size of Little Debbie...

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Atari Flashback Portable

$48.10 from Amazon »

The Atari Flashback portable console is indeed here to console. The handheld 2600 will give a there, there pat on the back to everyone who didn't get an NES Classic before Nintendo announced they're discontinuing them...