Foodini 3D Food Printer

$999 - $1,200 from Natural Machines »

I am 0% surprised that someone made a 3D food printer. If we can print jewelry and home decor and machine parts and sugar, why shouldn't we be able to print dinner? Barcelona-based company Natural Machines has created...

Sure F**k Cologne

$24.75 from Amazon »

Sure Fuck Cologne is a self-described "cool fresh manly scent that thrusts women into a crazy hot SEXUAL FRENZY!" Whoa. That's specific. They even put "sexual frenzy" in all caps like it is when I think it over and over...

Cube Laser Virtual Keyboard

$135.01 from Amazon »

Fat-fingered iPad and iPhone users rejoice! Celluon's EPIC Laser Virtual Keyboard, a 63-key QWERTY holograph, projects at full size onto any flat surface, lessening the tediousness of mobile texting and emailing, and...

Walter White Hyperflesh Mask

$22,100 from Ebay »

Worn, signed, and sweated upon by Bryan Cranston himself. Also mingled in: the DNA of Jimmy Fallon and Common, whom the Breaking Bad star let take a turn in this Landon Meier Hyperflesh Walter White mask at Comic-Con...

Knight XV Fully Armored SUV

Conquest purports to marry "ultra-luxurious" with "fully-armored" in its forthcoming handcrafted SUV, the Knight XV. Historically, this type of marriage has not ended well (see: the reigns of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette;...

AIRTAME - Wireless HDMI Dongle

$99 from AIRTAME »

AIRTAME believes that "everyone should be able to show any content from any computer on any screen--wirelessly." Given that last time I tried to hook up my laptop to my friend Cornelius' TV to show him a slideshow from...

ColdBlood Paintball Masks

$70 - $295 from ColdBloodArt »

ColdBloodArt. Damn. If I did art, even it were no more than friendship bracelets and construction paper airplanes, that's definitely what I would call it. Fortunately for the Thailand-based company that actually assumed...

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SOLOSHOT2 Robot Cameraman

Giveaway: SOLOSHOT2 Robot Cameraman

Film sporting events, daredevil stunts, and scenes from the bedroom without the shakes, the blurs, or losing the action just before the big score. Enter to win a SOLOSHOT2, your personal robot cameraman! A $399 value!...

Muscle-Enhancing Shirt

$48.50 from FunkyBod »

Money can squeeze the fat in, and now money can carve the muscle out. Which means there are exactly 0 reasons left for me to exercise. What? Avoiding heart disease and diabetes? Psshhh! Preventable, life-threatening afflictions...

Makashi Renegade Lightsaber

Discontinued

You've seen lightsabers and you've seen lightsabers. Saberworks' Makashi Renegade definitely falls into the second category. Currently in 3D printed prototype form, the saber endeavors to turn out a successful Kickstarter...

Smittybilt G.E.A.R. Car Seat Covers

$97.29 - $138.90 from Amazon »

One time for Christmas I got my grandma a nylon reusable garbage bag to hang off one of her front car seats and my brother laughed at me like it was the worst gift a grandmother could ever receive. But I only got it because...

ZEUS Thunder Vaporizer

$93 from ZEUSArsenal »

I received a sample of the ZEUS Thunder vaporizer pen for a state-of-matter-changing test drive. Unfortunately, it was right after my mama coerced me into signing an agreement to submit to random marijuana tests in exchange...

Sleep Suit

If the Ostrich Pillow doesn't provide enough coverage and anonymity for your power naps, how about the patent-pending Sleep Suit? Designed by Architect Forrest Jessee as an experimental medium for testing out Buckminster...

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Pair of Grisly Bears

Giveaway: Pair of Grisly Bears

By: Etsy »

Do you hate Valentine's Day but love Halloween? Then how about this twisted twist on the gush fest of lovebirds this year: a blood bath of teddy bears. Click here and enter to win a pair of morbid, gruesome, awesomely...

Melody Key Private Island

$5.99 million from Private Islands Online »

A private island a mile offshore in the Florida keys sporting recent multi-million dollar renovations, a main house with vaulted ceilings, pool, jacuzzi, solar inverter, on-demand muted generator, a desalination system...

Brite Strike Tactical Balls

$46.54 from Amazon »

Disorienting, blinding, and giving people seizures all serve as excellent forms of distraction during attempts at self-defense and ploys to make off with the $80 giant peanut butter cup cake. Brite Strike's Tactical Balls...

Liquid Latex Black Light Body Paint (NSFW)

$90.06 from Amazon »

This Liquid Latex Body Paint Black Light Kit is pretty self-explanatory. I don't have much to say about it. Except that, in perusing the image gallery above...I think I found Waldo. It wasn't even that hard. I mean, before...

Puff-N-Fluff Dog Dryer

$39.99 - $44.99 from Amazon »

Nine-year-old Marissa Streng came up with the Puff-N-Fluff bag. To dry her pug, Mojo, after a bath, after a swim, after coming in from the rain, after any time she preferred not gagging and retching to inhaling the ripe...

Skull Hard Boiled Egg Mold

$6.94 from Amazon »

I think the best ad campaign of all time might be The Incredible Edible Egg. Not only because it rhymes, which is always the best way to present something, and is about food, which is always the best thing for something...

Occam Coffee-to-Dining Table

I like that Occam guy. He invented the razor. Not the kind you shave with, the kind Matthew McConaughey used to convince Jodie Foster that she didn't jettison light years away in a space capsule to commune with aliens....

Cat Ear Headphones

$150 from Axent Wear »

Know what a Berkeley education gets you? The ability to mastermind genius ideas like cat ear headphones. And also the impeccable taste to select an incredibly hot Asian girl to model them. UC Berkeley alumni Wenqing Yan...

Firefly Blue Laser Lamp

$61.78 from Amazon »

I grew up with fireflies. And by that I mean I grew up squashing them and rubbing their bioluminescence on my arms and legs so I too could glow like a superhero or anomaly of evolution. I never saw any blue ones though...

Titty Twirlers Pasties

$20 from Etsy »

Here comes the airplane! Titty Twirlers are propellor pasties that put a twist on the traditional showstopping effect we typically expect the wind to have on a lady's (or dude's, per the video) wardrobe. I mean, Marilyn...

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Botta-Design NOVA Watch

Giveaway: Botta-Design NOVA Watch

Do you believe in spans of time, not points in time? The big picture more than the details? Or do you just want a really slick modern timepiece from a German physicist-turned-industrial-designer? Then click here and enter...

X132 Hellcat Speedster

For those who couldn't afford the $72,000 X132 Hellcat Combat, Confederate Motorcycles is graciously knocking $7 grand off the price of their new X132 Hellcat release. The Speedster. Same drag race architecture, same...

Flint and Tinder 10-Year Hoodie

$69.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Most of my hoodies last about 3 months. Halve that if it's cold season and I have to use the sleeves to wipe my nose when I don't feel like reaching for a Kleenex. So I find it hard to believe that Flint and Tinder's...

HyperIce Vyper Vibrating Foam Roller

$199 from Amazon »

Hey look, it's a new BDSM toy for pain seekers muscle recovery tool for athletes. You've might have seen foam rollers here before, and you might have seen HyperIce brainchildren here before, but this hybrid of hurts so...

The Supermagnet

$350 from United Nuclear »

Whoa. The Supermagnet, a 4" diameter, 2" thick neodymium disc, comes with more red alerts than a limo filled with tequila, coke, condomless hookers with herpes, and a blind chauffeur. "WARNING - VERY POWERFUL." "EXTREMELY...

ThermaSpring Solar Mat

$25.41 from Amazon »

I guess you gotta have a pool...or a really deep puddle...to use the ThermaSpring Solar Mat, but as long as that detail is sorted out, here's a natural, cost-effective way to raise its temperature from SwimWays. Place...

BAC Mono

$162k from BAC »

Street-legal Formula 1 car for your collection? From British supercar manufacturer BAC comes a run of Monos for the wealth-blessed and speed-obsesseds' taking. These seductively futuristic road rockets combine lightweight...

Mystery Boxes

$40.39 - $56.59 from Firebox.com »

Mystery Boxes are the win-win gift. They make the tedious purchasing and giving process only a molecule more strenuous and demanding of thought than buying a gift certificate to Best Buy or Chick-fil-A, yet their effect...

20-Pound Chocolate Lionel Richie Head

$833.19 from Firebox.com »

I didn't think there could be anything better than having a hot chick sculpt an enormous model of my head out of clay, but...Hello! Chocolate beats mud any day. Lionel Richie. You lucky bastard....

No Face Mask

$7.02 from Amazon »

Sweeeeeet! I was wondering how I could pull off being a spoon for Halloween. Like mirrored sunglasses, the No Face Mask's outer film has a chrome effect that renders your mug invisible to onlookers, but keeps theirs in...

The Space Jacket

$265.50 from Beta Brand »

Seems like this Space Jacket might be better suited for the 1960s when going to space was, like, a big deal. But I guess Elon Musk has made things interesting again with his sports car-style rockets so maybe there's still...

Rain Shield

A 2012 red dot award winner for design concept, Lin Min-Wei and Liu Li-Hsiang's Rain Shield could make carrying an umbrella 1) somewhat stylish and 2) more than an exercise in futility. Its shield-like construction uses...

Infinite Dungeon Corridor

$24.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Infinite Dungeon Corridor. Enter at your own risk...and inevitable peril. Ow! I think I jammed my finger on a mirror!...

Game of Thrones Clue

$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

Welp, it shouldn't be hard to find someone to play the murder victim in this rendition of my favorite board game. What will be hard about playing Game of Thrones Clue: uh, playing Game of Thrones Clue. It's like taking...

Smarty Ring Smartphone Controller

$175 from Smarty Ring »

Smartphone-connected watches, smartphone-connected wristbands, it was only a matter of time before someone came up with a smartphone-connected ring. Particularly with the great fanfare surrounding the Ring Clock. Smarty...

Pizza Box Oven

$55.19 from Amazon »

It's not delivery. And it's not DiGiorno*. It's homemade pizza from the Cuizen Pizza Box Oven. And it's so adorable I can hardly look at it without squealing. And by squealing I mean feeling an overwhelming urge to smoke...

Hydro-Turf Engine Oil Extractor

$49.98 from Amazon »

Getting ready for summer means getting ready to haul out your boat. Your jet ski. Your ATV. Your Ducati. Your pimp-mo-convertible. And your Hydro-Turf Oil Extractor to change their oil. While the company's contraption...

Quadrofoil Electric Watercraft

$18,500 - $28k from Quadrofoil »

Here's your chance to jet across the water on an architectural insect. With the Quadrofoil you can do it quietly and without injecting carbon-based fuels into the subsurface ecosystem too. This personal watercraft operates...

Smartphone Controlled Paper Airplane

$30 - $75 from Power Up Toys »

We've seen electric paper airplanes. And we've seen flights of fancy controlled by smartphones. But never before in the history of mankind's existence on the universe have we seen an electric paper airplane controlled...

JAG Communal Grill Table

$2,499 - $2,999 from JAG Grill »

I don't really want a JAG Grill for myself. I mean, it's a lot of money and seems like a lot of work to put together and maintain, and then you have to, like, clean it.... But I am very much in favor of someone I know...

Sparta Knife Block

$49 from Missing Digit »

I think the Sparta Knife Block is even better than the Ex Knifeholder because while they are both clever ideas, the Sparta version connotes a brave and stoic warrior defending me instead of an angry and vengeful woman...

The Butter Mill

$19.95 from Amazon »

Stop the bread massacre! Instead of putting holes in your toast and sandwiches, save your sourdough's texture and integrity by putting the holes in your butter dispenser instead. With its top surface covered in tiny...

Marvel Superhero Wearable Sleeping Bags

$149 from Amazon »

I've seen Selk'bags around here before. Wearable sleeping bags that fit and move like onesies, but snooze like a sack rated for chilly slumbers in the great outdoors. Pretty sweet. And now, with this new Marvel line of...

Reloadable Confetti High Fives

$9.95 from Fiesta Five »

Did you know that National High Five Day is just 2 weeks away? Wait, let me back up. Did you know there exists such a thing as National High Five Day? It's the third Thursday of every April, or for our purposes, April...

The Casper Hug & Bounce Mattress

$500 - $950 from Casper »

Casper believes the main selling point of their mattress is its ability to both hug and contour and resist and bounce, thereby making sex on top of it 1,000 times better. At least that's the outcome I'm hoping for. Better...

Raiders of the Lost Ark Melting Toht Candle

$29.49 from Firebox.com »

Nothing like a hot day in the south or the Ark of the Covenant to make you feel like your face is gonna melt off. Though after my wee and innocent 6-year-old eyes were scarred for life watching Major Arnold Ernst Toht...

The Golden Douchebag Trophy

$7.99 from Perpetual Kid »

You want tidings of comfort and joy? Well here you go: Merry Christmas, you old Golden Douchebag, you....

Whisker Dam Mustache Protector

$20 from Whisker Dam »

They say it's like an umbrella for your face. And also that it's the best dam invention for keeping your whiskers dry. The Whisker Dam sits over a pint of beer (or milk, or triple mocha with extra whipped cream) and prevents...

The Lasersaber

$99.95 from WickedLasers.com »

With both Comic-Con 2012 and Dude's S3 Arctic Laser Giveaway in full swing, how could we not bring you this feast of power, this champion of Cosplay, this intergalactic harness of pure Storm Blue or Ghostbusters Green...

Grass Printer

Designers Prof. Doh Han Young, Jeong Koo Hee, and Kim Min Hong recently won a Red Dot Award for their Grass Printer. As you might have guessed, the Grass Printer is a device that prints stuff in grass*. It literally mows...

Celtic Elite Bowie Knife

$16.99 from Amazon »

Festive or hideous? This Celtic Elite Bowie Knife from Ridge Runner is maybe a little bit of both. But come on, what better to pair with your kilt and Guinness this St. Paddy's Day than a thick stainless steel blade with...

Gonex 18000 Lumen Flashlight

$78.98 from Amazon »

Know what 15 CREE XM-L T6 LEDs look like? When turned off: surprisingly, cells dividing in a petri dish. When turned on: less surprisingly, retinal damage. The Gonex 18000 lumen flashlight isn't abusing superlatives when...

The Bad Day Bat

$65 from Bad Day Bat »

Well I know when I'm having a bad day all I want to do is smash shit up. Not surprisingly, there's a bat for that. But the Bad Day Bat serves as even more than a conduit for rage. With this bat in tow, after I smash shit...

Juggernaut Bullfrog Fat Trike

$2,500 - $2,900 from Rungu »

Rungu's Juggernaut fat-tire bullfrog trike makes it possible to go where a bike can't go and a car won't go. To ride where others dare only walk. To look in grandiosity somewhere between Billy the Puppet pedaling in to...

Bat Levitating Mouse

Bat, a levitating wireless computer mouse, is currently in the research and testing phases for use in preventing and treating carpal tunnel syndrome, a median nerve dysfunction to which many mouse manipulators are susceptible....

The Barisieur Coffee Brewing Alarm Clock

Josh Renouf knows what the world really needs: coffee. Stat. Like, the second it opens its eyes. And it needs it served from The Barisieur, an alarm clock topped with implements from Beaker's lab. Very nice, Mr. Renouf....

Addams Family House

$2 million from Raine & Horne »

Correction: Sorry dudes, this is not the Addams Family set house, inside or out, but a real Australian home that has remained unchanged since its late 1800s construction, and looks like a creepy mansion shacking up an...

Ka-Bar Self Defense Cane

$83.81 from Amazon »

One more reason you don't mess with Grandpa. This Ka-Bar powder-coated aluminum cane supports both a bad right knee and a wicked righthand swing. The walking stick flawlessly doubles as a self defense tool...presuming...

Raunchy Wrapping Paper (NSFW)

$6.19 - $7.69 from Amazon »

Raunchy Wrap R-rated wrapping paper reminds me of something my lyrical hero Ludacris once said during his guest vocals on Usher's smash hit dance track "Yeah": "I want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed." This...

Oracle Color-Changing Lightsaber with Sound

Sold Out from Amazon »

Vader one day, Yoda the next. Go from the Dark Side to the Light, or go the other way for some cookies, with Saberz's Oracle, a lightsaber fitted with the company's Prizm tech to produce a rainbow of colors and 3 different...

The Dragon Sex Calendar

I can't believe it! Just yesterday I was thinking about cartoon sex--albeit between people, not dragons--and today I find a whole calendar of cartoon sex stills! And you know what: I think the thinking thinks even better...

Bussola Mechanical Skeletel Sculpture

While artist Jennifer Townley's Bussola is intricate and enamoring enough that I could probably watch it move all day long, for some reason watching it at all brings great uneasiness to my heart. Maybe it's the lumbering...

Kinetic Sand

It's 2.2 pounds--or what the rest of the world calls 1 kilogram--of tactile stimulation and scientific wonderment. While all sand can technically enjoy kinetic activities, Kinetic Sand claims the additional bragging rights...