Cue the jingle, because I've got a Meow Mix of delights here for you. Meow-meow-meow-meow / meow-meow-meow-meow / meow-meow-meow-meow-meow-meow-meow-meow. That's 16 meows of the cat food commercial classic to represent the 16 meow-ty fine cat gifts for 2023 I've got for you here...

Delta Faucet HydroRain 2-in-1 Shower Head

$122.04 - $344.96 Amazon »

Make it rain, Delta Faucet! ... I'll even provide the cash you need to do it, because the rain I'm talking about isn't coming from a cash cannon, but the 2-in-1 shower head of Delta Faucet's HydroRain...

These are 16 of the most paw-pular dog gifts for 2023 according to me. A dude who doesn't own a dog. But having been called a dog myself in the past, along with other canine-related terms, such as "butt sniffer," "drool machine," "lucky dog," and even "good boy," I think I'm more than qualified to...

Penis Charcuterie Board

Sold Out Amazon »

No one will be able to beat your meat, or resist your cheese, or help but grab your berries, when you arrange them atop the Penis Charcuterie Board. It's the best reference to genitalia I've seen in a serving tray since...

Coca-Cola x Casio G-SHOCK Limited Edition Watches

$160 G-SHOCK »

What time is it? My Casio G-SHOCK says it's time for a Coca-Cola...collaboration. Quench your thirst for a new watch with a limited edition Coca-Cola x Casio G-SHOCK digital timepiece...

AC Infinity AIRTAP HVAC Register Booster Fan

$69.99 - $79.99 Amazon »

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the AC Infinity AIRTAP HVAC Register Booster Fan. It's a quiet fan system with an LCD display, smart thermostat control, and customizable fan speeds that looks and fits in place like...

Doorhickey Hands-Free Sliding Glass Door Opener

$19.99 Doorhickey »

I know "Doorhickey" is a play on the word "doohickey," but dudes. Doesn't it make you think of someone getting a hickey from a door too? I know, I'm not quite sure how that would work either, but, like, maybe they have...

The RagCutter

A big rag is such a drag. Let the RagCutter halve them, or quarter them, or slice them into itsy bitsy pieces of rag confetti, so every rag that wipes, shines, and soaks up for you henceforth is the perfect size...

RollWalk Electric Roller Skates

$499 - $699 RollWalk »

RollWalk eRW3 Electric Roller Skates are ready to roll, baby, roll. At up to 20MPH, and 15-1/2 miles on a single charge, thanks to a pair of rear-drive motors with 400W of peak power, and a 14,3000mAh Samsung 18650 lithium...

E198: What Is This Thing?

$19.99 Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 198 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

12' Haunted Living Lighted Animatronic Mummy

$348 Lowes »

Lowe's couldn't let Home Depot keep having all the Halloween fun - and revenue. So this year the home improvement retailer is offering a 12' Haunted Living Lighted Animatronic Mummy to rival their rival's 12' Skeleton...

Sun Joe Cordless Multi-Purpose Workshop Blower

$39 Amazon »

The Sun Joe Cordless Multi-Purpose Workshop Blower sucks and blows dust, dirt, and debris out of your workshop so it doesn't suck and blow to be in your workshop. The 24V blower uses a 400W motor and 2.0Ah li-ion ecosharp...

Sandscreen Sand Removal Bag

$24.99 Amazon »

If glitter is the herpes of the craft world, then sand is the herpes of the beach. No wait, make that the chlamydia of the beach, because according to Sandscreen, their Sand Removal Bag can actually help you get rid of...

Duck Armchair

$446.42 The Apollo Box »

Replace that foul-looking chair in your living room with a fowl-looking one. This Duck Armchair brings a clever design to a very cozy-looking lounge chair. Plus, it's ducking adorable, and will surely quack up anyone...

Cache Basecamp System Tailgate Pad

$324.99 Amazon »

Cache's Basecamp System Tailgate Pad can certainly perform your standard tailgate pad duties - use it to store up to 5 bikes for transport, and protect your truck from dings and scratches on the drive. But if you're into...

Microwave Ramen Cooker

$12.99 Amazon »

This Microwave Ramen Cooker is all that and a bag of shrimp chips. The complete and compact set starts with a big cylindrical soup bowl on the bottom, nestles a colander / draining bowl in the middle, and tops it off...

Junk Drawer Starter Kit

$24.99 - $35.99 Etsy »

At first I thought the Junk Drawer Starter Kit was some sort of gag gift, a box full of tangled paper clips and rubber bands, cables for long gone electronics, and at least 3 items that make you go, "What Is This Thing?"...

Disc-O-Bed Bunkable Cot & Bench

$379.99 - $399.99 Amazon »

Lady Gaga said it best: Let's have some fun, these bunks are rad / I wanna take a ride on your Disc-O-Bed. ... Though maybe I don't, because even though Disc-O-Bed convertible bunkable cots are kinda cool, in none of...

E197: What Is This Thing?

Sold Out Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 197 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

Hanger Diversion Safe

$18.99 Amazon »

Uh, calling it a Hanger "Diversion Safe" is a bit generous, I'd say. Yes, the set of zippered pockets attaches to a clothes hanger, and yes, you can then cover it with a shirt or coat or something to hide it from sight...

Big Joe Dorm Bean Bag Chair

$54.67 - $66.99 Amazon »

Back to school is my favorite time of year. It's the time brats small and large, preschool-aged to needed-that-fifth-year-in-undergrad-aged, return to their classrooms, and stop clogging up the lunchtime lines at my favorite...

Dog Car Seat Hammock with Zipline

$59.99 Amazon »

Whoa, Pet Adventure, this is quite the canine contraption. I've seen protective dog car seat covers before, and I've seen dog car seat hammocks before. I've even seen backseat dog ziplines before. But this. This incorporates...

Daylodge Workspace for Truck Tailgates & Car Doors

$199 Daylodge »

The Daylodge Workspace is for the fun kind of work. Hang it from your truck tailgate, latch it to your car door, or set it on any flat surface, and you'll have a mobile prep station and organizer for your camp kitchen...

Here are some things that happened in July 2023: 1) The 4th of July; 2) My mama's basement flooded, costing her many thousands of dollars, and me many hours of furniture moving, to remediate; 3) My friend Cornelius lured me into a 5-mile hike by promising to buy me as many In-N-Out burgers as I could...