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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/wicked-lasers-lasersaber-4246.jpg "The Lasersaber")
With both Comic-Con 2012 and Dude's S3 Arctic Laser Giveaway in full swing, how could we not bring you this feast of power, this champion of Cosplay, this intergalactic harness of pure Storm Blue or Ghostbusters Green lightning? Wicked more...
/life-armor-disaster-shelter-5530.jpg "Life Armor Disaster Shelter")
The recent, tragic path of Hurricane Sandy reminds us that disaster planning shouldn't just be relegated to theoretical discussions and jokes about Zombie Apocalypses. Seikoh's Life Armor Disaster Shelter can accommodate and protect more...
/unbreakable-slugger-umbrella-7413.jpg "Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella")
Look at that dude standin' on his umbrella! Aw snap, he just wailed on an 80-pound heavy bag with it. Holy crap, now he used it to hack up a watermelon! That's sufficient enough evidence for me to believe the Unbreakable Umbrella holds true to its name. And that it can also double as a mother truckin' Louisville slugger to aid in self defense. Can you imagine whacking someone in the face with one more...
/the-liddup-illuminated-cooler-7756.jpg "LiddUp Illuminated Cooler")
The LiddUp cooler's interior LED lining caters to bonfires, backyard BBQs, campsites, and anywhere else high on the drinking but low on the lighting levels normally present to assist partiers in determining what exactly they're sucking more...
/medieval-knight-hoodie-4933.jpg "Medieval Knight Hoodie")
See, chivalry isn't dead. It's just been co-opted by the hoodie-wearing hipster crowd. This Medieval Knight Hoodie drips of irony akin to permutations of the mustache, and trending fads akin to bacon two years ago. Thanks to HBO's condensing more...
/giant-cardboard-robot-arms-kit-6649.jpg "Giant Cardboard Robot Arms Kit")
When I transform into a paper-product-based Optimus Prime, I like to take on a more active role in the process than lifting my giant cardboard robot arms out of a giant cardboard box. So thanks be to Chuck Norris that Etsy's Giant Cardboard Arm peddler, whose preassembled phantasmagorical creations struck gold a while back, now has a DIY kit for industrious boys and girls to use in constructing more...
/decode-the-time-watch-7003.jpg "Decode the Time Watch")
I know I've said this before, but my cache of interesting stories is running dry so here we go again: someone recently told me that schools no longer teach kids to read analog clocks because kids all have digital watches and cell phones more...
/giant-swiss-army-knife-6181.jpg "Giant Swiss Army Knife")
F light, low-profile, and practical. I live in the USA. I want the biggest and the best. Even if the biggest and the best means so cumbersome and heavy it makes me look like I have a gimp leg when I carry it in my pants pocket. Despite more...
/sleeping-bag-sofa-6683.jpg "Sleeping Bag Sofa")
I've slept on my sofa for the past 2-1/2 years. I've even slept in my sleeping bag on my sofa. But until now the two were not a happy combination, as the outsides of sleeping bags are slippery, and the heights of sofas are significant more...
/26pound-gummy-python-5731.jpg "26-Pound Gummy Python")
Oh look, a snake that can kill you without biting, constricting, or even being alive. At 84" long, 26.9 pounds, and a staggering 36,720 calories, the Gummy Python will inflict anything from hyperglycemia to ruptured intestines to instant more...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/bubi-collapsible-bottle-7606.jpg "Bubi Collapsible Bottle")
Innumerable points to the Bubi collapsible bottle for calling itself a Bubi and including the option of affixing nipples to its top. Obviously. But in addition to these superficial treats, the Bubi bottle also boasts some practical more...
/yay-cleavage-tshirt-5896.jpg "Yay Cleavage T-Shirt")
I tried to crop out the part of the Yay Cleavage T-Shirt photo that shows the boobily blessed lady wearing it is pregnant, but I think you can still kind of tell. Sorry. I guess the V-neck may technically be intended for she who is more...
/cleatskins-7371.jpg "Cleatskins")
Cleated feet rejoice. Cleatskins eliminate the need to take your shoes off or get yelled at for clacking and scratching the hardwood floor every time you leave the field, track, or pedal. Also, they deliver traction that guards against more...
/The-Ring-Clock-758.jpg?mode=crop "The Ring Clock")
Still concept only, the Ring Clock is a mechanical ring, which displays the current time. It has three rings for displaying the hour, minutes and seconds. The current time is highlighted, and there is an indicator so the wearer can more...
/iwatch-2-2480.jpg "iWatch 2")
It's sleek, it's svelte, and it will make your wrist look a mile long. It even redefines the concept of little black box with its glide-to-reveal top lid. The iWatch 2 has all of the classic features of the iWatch: WiFi and Bluetooth more...
/dash-quickdraw-wallet-5977.jpg "Dash Quickdraw Wallet")
Credit card receptacles have gotten awfully fancy--from electronic signatures to electronic signatures with your fingertip to electronic signatures with your fingertip on an iPhone with a craaazy! credit card swiper bug attachment--so more...
/undead-teds-your-bear-6552.jpg "Undead Teds - Your Bear, Zombified")
Whoa. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was a real live British boy who looks like Chucky, but Undead Teds have staged a coup and now reign supreme. Even if they don't have the same bone-chilling, soprano accent. Which they more...
/mad-scientist-absinthe-kits-6272.jpg "Mad Scientist Absinthe Kits")
Sometimes it's fun to play mad scientist. Particularly when doing so involves hallucinogens. OK, so they removed the thujone component from absinthe, but still, 80% of any experience is perception, right? So if I think I'm trippin', more...
/drinkmaster-hoodie-6520.jpg "Drinkmaster Hoodie")
Unlike braces and Yoda, the Drinkmaster Hoodie checks in as both useful and good-looking. A sleek black fleece zip-up with a bevy of booze-specific pockets and effects, the Drinkmaster is the hardcore partier's ultimate bag of tricks. more...
/zday-blades-bludgeons-5713.jpg "ZDay Blades & Bludgeons")
In the words of the great Missy Elliott's lyrical masterpiece "Ching-A-Ling", "This is serious maaannnn!" Etsy vendor ZDay Survivor's extensive collection of hand-chiseled, zombie-eradicating blades and bludgeons don't just hold front more...
/solid-gray-hardshell-backpack-6806.jpg "Solid Gray Hardshell Backpack")
Solid Gray has given the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a makeover for the 2010s and invites you to play an active role in the re-imaging with their hardshell backpacks. The 4 color schemes available highlight general rebranding guidelines more...
/titanium-jack-daniels-barrel-5795.jpg "Titanium & Jack Daniels Barrel Ring")
I guess I've been in a serious relationship with Jack Daniels for long enough now that I'm willing to don his ring and announce it to the world. Especially a ring as slick as this one. Check out the genuine used JD white oak barrel more...
/cap-zappa-bottle-opening-cap-6544.jpg "Cap Zappa - Bottle Opener & Cap Launcher")
An Exploration of Cap Zappa Onomatopoeia. Pop! Click. Whoosh! Clink! Ahhh. more...
/anonymously-send-sht-3655.jpg "Anonymously Send Sh*t")
If you know a lot of assholes, you know what it's like to deal with their shit. Now, it's time to return the favor. ShitSenders.com enables the shat upon to send steaming piles of Don't get mad, get even to inconsiderate, self-important, more...
/stealth-bomber-electric-bike-7532.jpg "Stealth Bomber Electric Bike")
For a while I thought electricity would be a passing fad like World of Warcraft and John Travolta (twice) but it seems only to be gaining popularity over time. Stealth's Bomber electric bike certainly makes a case for its continued more...
/inkless-pen-4899.jpg "Inkless Pen")
Adios, pocket protectors! Inkless pens are the way of the future. OK, probably the way of the future is the elimination of pens altogether, in favor of app-controlled telekinetic writing implementations, but in the interim, we have more...
/unzipped-flesh-kit-5432.jpg "Unzipped Flesh Kit")
One way to make others jump out of their skin is to jump out of yours. This Unzipped Flesh look requires some legwork and talent to pull off, but look at the striking levels of gruesomeness and morbidity one can achieve from the effort. more...
/tongue-mounted-toothbrush-7449.jpg "Tongue-Mounted Toothbrush")
Here are some problems with not brushing your teeth: brown teeth; hot buttered ass breath. Here are some problems with brushing your teeth regularly: gum recession due to hard bristles and/or overzealous brushing techniques; the hassle more...
/be-a-hero-rescue-tool-6753.jpg "Be a Hero Rescue Tool")
Be a hero. Everyone's doing it. And even if they're not contemporary society--particularly the media, and particularly the media talking about celebrities--love throwing that word around and assigning it to people who do little more more...
/stinky-gaming-footboard-7396.jpg "Stinky Gaming Footboard")
As the MYO and LEAP eliminate computer mice and keyboards for the hands, SteLuLu Technologies introduces a new gaming apparatus for the feet. Used in tandem with finger controllers, the Stinky Footboard adds one more dimension--the more...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
