A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Monday, February 11, 2013
$99 - $999 from DomeCandy »

What's this? A circa 1968 suitcase and a set of Sony speakers turned into a portable stereo? Aw, Granny, good job! You made a ghetto blaster! And I thought our Merle Haggard Mondays and Tupac Tuesdays couldn't get any better....

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Friday, November 16, 2012
$29.95 from Amazon »

Boy do I miss the days of my youth. The days of emerging victorious from head-butting battles with rhinoceroses, claiming their horns as trophies, and, after gnawing out the marrow inside, filling them with a thick black stout...

Thursday, August 30, 2012
$9.67 from Amazon »

Now that the kiddos are back in school, wouldn't it be fun one day when they come home to surprise them with wall-to-wall chalkboards in their bedrooms? Chalkboards you have covered in times tables, Spanish verb conjugations, or SAT words? Chalkboard Wall Paint slathers over metal, wood, masonry, drywall, plaster, glass, concrete, yo' mama, and hardboard to convert its base surfaces into usable...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

When speaking of our health, of preventing the ingestion of fecal matter thrust into the air during the toilet flushing process, is there really a need to mince words? Beat around the bush? Employ euphemisms? Woodpecker Laboratories...

Saturday, August 20, 2011
$20 from Amazon »

It's been a while since I've done an ice block shot. Too long. This seems like a really good housewarming gift. Tell me you're not gonna be the life of the party if you show up with this thing. And come solo because you're...

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Described as an Interactive Pool Table System, this really has to be seen in action to be believed. Transform any pool table into a digitally-enhanced video experience. High-definition imagery responds in real-time to every shot. User-selectable themes yield infinite possibilities....

Monday, August 12, 2013
$29.99 from Amazon »

Ladies, I dare anyone to try to rip you off or cut up your credit cards or even look at you in a way you do not find pleasing when you're carrying one of these babies. From the butcher's block to the sewing machine, nothing...

Sunday, December 9, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

iPood. The onesie that states the obvious, perpetual reality for chilluns between the ages of 6 and 18 months old. And instead of a button for blasting its volume, the iPood comes with a button that aids kiddos in blasting...

Saturday, June 9, 2012
Discontinued

Male-female color coordination and style may not be Top 5 on the list of requisites for zombie slaying offensives, but side-by-side pink & black and yellow & black Zombie Stopper Gun Blades should look pretty sweet at Comic-Con...

Saturday, June 22, 2013
$65 from The UT Lab »

Shoes made out of paper?! What's next, condoms made out of lambskin?! Oh wait.... Unbelievable Testing Laboratory has spent many a month devising and refining their Light Wing Tyvek shoes, a pair of sneakers that weigh in...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Thursday, August 22, 2013
$14,995 from Amazon »

I know what you're thinking. If I'm going to buy an original Ghostbusters 2 jumpsuit instead of paying my mortgage this year, it better at least be the one worn by Peter Venkman. Yeah, touche. On the one hand, Dr. Egon Spangler's...

Friday, August 26, 2011
$215 from Etsy »

This is 8 GB of steam powered awesomeness. Made with brass, copper, glass and watch parts, the interior glows blue while plugged in. The scoop on the tail flashes red while transferring data....

Wednesday, November 13, 2013
$12.88 from Amazon »

Suzanne says her Ghost Jelly is perfect for your favorite hotty. I think it's perfect for my friend Cornelius' toast, which I will butter and jelly up for him out of kindness, and inform him is smeared with orange marmalade...

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Taylor Simpson accidentally plowed into a deer with his Knight XV while barreling through Poughkeepsie several months ago and felt so bad about it he swore off driving altogether and converted the slain buck's antlers into...

Monday, December 17, 2012
$150 from Etsy »

It's paleontology, puzzle-solving, and ridiculously rad lawn ornament all rolled into one plasma cut steel assembly kit. This giant velociraptor skeleton arrives as 44, 11-gauge, 1/8" steel pieces begging to be the centerpiece...

Thursday, November 14, 2013
$49.99 from Amazon »

Hikaru Sulu: master of botany. Of gymnastics. Of ancient weaponry. Of advanced starship manipulation. And now, of perfume. The logical next step. Excelsior! Onward and upward!...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

The Princess Leia Beanie is buns o' fun. Wah, wah. Well, what else can we say? Star Wars fans gotta like it by proxy, Stitch 'N' Bitch circle members gotta like it by definition, and girls gotta like it 'cause it's warm, and...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013
$79.90 from Brando »

I guess anyone who can solve the Roulette Wheel IQ Cube must be pretty smart. I feel pretty smart just for figuring out what it is based on the manufacturer's bold, caps, red-fonted, syntactically-challenged description of...

Thursday, September 27, 2012
By: OMG Life

Just as we can never have too many paparazzi photos of female celebrities in short dresses with no underwear climbing out of their cars, it seems neither can we have too many ways in which to capture these riveting moments....

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
$4.95 from Amazon »

At this point, the bacon craze has reached a state of lunacy that renders bacon soda somewhat expected. Pedestrian, even. Still, there are smoky, greasy meat flavors, and then there are CARBONATED smoky, greasy meat flavors....

Friday, August 17, 2012
$18.99 from The Oatmeal Shop »

For those who claim to put Sriracha on everything, it's time to put your money where your mouth is. Introduce the rooster to the family jewels. Acquaint your two favorite hot cocks. Sriracha Boxer Briefs burn along backsides...

Friday, November 2, 2012
$241.12 from Master of Malt »

The holidays. A season of (incredibly long and growing longer) buildup. Of personal reflection. Of getting comprehensively sloshed and drowning the sorrows generated by such a long flippin' buildup and the unhappy outcome...

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Here's another idea that could have been mine if I had better ideas: laser-engraved business cards with USB drives. For storing resumes and cover letters. Portfolios of design work, writing, and music. Company sales pitches...

Monday, November 12, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

For the dog: Italian greyhounds seem like fragile, sensitive creatures, so I'm going to let the fact that you're wearing a canine snowsuit with a 270-degree hood drawstringed tightly around your head in this photo slide without...

Sunday, September 30, 2012
$1,167 from Crealev »

Crealev designer Angela Jansen has taken a machete to boring old lamp shades, and thrown in some magnet magic to keep their hacked off top half afloat after the attack. The Silhouette, a conical shade, and the Eclipse, a more...

Sunday, September 4, 2011
$74.95 from Amazon »

Great tool for taking your mindless "on the telephone" doodles and converting them to digital masterpieces. Designed for rough concepting and creative brainstorming, Inkling is ideal for the front end of the creative process....

Saturday, May 19, 2012
$0.99 from iOSnoops »

A while back, Stephen Lippens started thinking that someone should make the old Flash game Pandemic for the iPhone. And then, despite having virtually no technical background or experience, he figured that someone may as well...

Monday, October 15, 2012
Discontinued

Much like the AdrenaSuit Socrates Everlasting Socks, or SocSocks, employ a military grade Kevlar|Carbon Matrix that will render you impenetrable. OK fine, it will just render the socks impenetrable. But still, a pair of foot...

Friday, December 7, 2012
$39.95 from Homemade Gin »

Mommy, where does gin come from? Vodka, Bobby. Gin comes from vodka. At least if it's homemade. Shunning expensive, and possibly illegal, distilling equipment, the Homemade Gin Kit allows those who possess it to create intoxicatingly...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013
$39.95 from Amazon »

Mmmm I do like me some hot hot wings and some cold cold cuts. I also like the word "soapstone", which reminds me of one of my favorite childhood treats: licking bars of Ivory soap. No joke. It's as mild and pleasurable on...

Wednesday, October 30, 2013
$72.25 from Camper Van Gift »

Whether it's a tent, a bunk bed, or an actual motor vehicle...that can't go faster than 50...it seems the VW Camper Van has achieved an iconic status that will never wane. But what I want to know is, can the VW Camper Van...

Tuesday, September 17, 2013
$199.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

I don't know if I should be more afraid that this 12-foot-tall inflatable spider will bite me or force me to listen to it sing Broadway showtunes. It looks like Elvira mixed with Ursula the sea witch mixed with one of the...

Wednesday, February 27, 2013
$15 - $38 from Etsy »

Likelihood I would kill a pet jellyfish: 100%. Likelihood I would kill a potted plant: 98%. Likelihood I would kill a jellyfish air plant: 75%. Because Etsy shop Petit Beast swears on its spiky sea urchin shells that caring...

Monday, November 5, 2012
$249.99 from Gizmine »

With this In-Home Fireworks Theater, you can now say, "Happy New Year!", "Happy Birthday, America!", and "Happy Sweet 16, spoiled brat with a rich daddy!" 365 days a year. From the comfort of your own living room, no less....

Thursday, September 12, 2013
$13.09 from Amazon »

Heavy Doody cannot hide the fact that I washed down 3 bowls of Honey Badger BBQ chili with one of those German hefeweizens that tastes like bananas, or that I've been in the bathroom for 18 minutes, or the sounds I am making...

Wednesday, October 17, 2012
By: WIZDISH

The WizDish is on a quest to make virtual reality and first-person gaming even more active and interactive without incurring costs prohibitive to 98% of the people who enjoy virtual reality and first-person gaming. The locomotion...

Thursday, May 2, 2013
$79 from Amazon »

John Boos designed the corner cutting board/counter space saver from solid maple and recommends that you add it to your "kitchen arsenal". Please raise your hand if you have a kitchen arsenal. Please raise your hand if you...

Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

The Goliathon is a formidable gun of the steampunk persuasion. An apocalyptic machination of copper, brass, and steel that harnesses the power of a full-size steam locomotive. A mammoth burly enough to annihilate an army of...

Tuesday, May 21, 2013
$14.79 from Amazon »

Father's Day is June 16th. I don't know about you, but I sure can't think of a better gift for a new dad than an apparatus that will allow him to suck the snot out of his kid's nose with his own mouth. And who says you have...

Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Cloud Strife needs some help wielding his massive Buster Sword and Zack seems to be busy at the moment. Want to wear it around your neck? Chainmail mastro Michelle has hand woven a 23" gunmetal chain to support its hefty length...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011
$169.99 from Infmetry »

It's the relationship and commitment hairshirt! Currently available in "Always" and "Marry me", Inner Message Rings are the perfect way to say, "If you really love me, you'll wear this ring that never stops gouging your flesh...

Saturday, February 23, 2013
$19.32 from Amazon »

I know this horse head mask is meant to be grossly unsettling to the viewer, but when I look at it all I can think of is Kramer Tourette's-ing out "Gggiiiddy up" and I feel more amused than disturbed. I imagine the expression...

Thursday, November 28, 2013
$45 from 2 AM Projects »

Swoosh! The only problem with hanging a 2 AM Project Air 1 stocking for Christmas is that it's gonna dunk on Santa's ass every. time. Over his head, under his beard, around his fat jelly belly...nothin' but net. This nature...

Tuesday, October 30, 2012
By: Behance

The latest in shoebox living, Buse Ustun of Ankara, Turkey created VIA particularly for young adult couples cohabitating in tiny apartments with limited kitchen space. The compact, modular cooker incorporates all major kitchen...

Monday, August 27, 2012
$15.66 from My eFox »

Everyone will be glad to know this Blood Pool Pillow comes with a 1-year warranty. Like, in case it evaporates or absorbs into the bedsheets or something, I guess. The deep red velvet casing is stuffed to a 3D level of equal...

Tuesday, July 30, 2013
$19 - $30 from Society 6 »

Kids, this is what happens when you don't wear sunscreen: everyone figures out your secret identity. See Mike Draw has created a Superhero Tan Lines print to show how even the likes of Batman can be so clever when it comes...

Monday, March 25, 2013
$21.99 from Etsy »

Ryan McArthur has compiled a graphical study of the Top 100 Zombie films in order of how much they pale in comparison to Zombieland and, for that matter, any movie in which Bill Murray has ever appeared, including that Rushmore...

Monday, March 26, 2012
$195 from Etsy »

According to the Handbook for the Recently Deceased, the Beetlejuice Terrarium is an accurately-depicted scale model of the Maitland-Deetz estate, replete with fence posts, dirt driveway, the foreboding, Burton-esque tree...

Thursday, September 5, 2013
$39.99 from Vat 19 »

This is what happens to people who eat 5-pound gummy bears: they OD on sugar and high fructose corn syrup, their brains become gelatinous, and they turn into 5-pound gummy skulls. In flavors cherry, blue raspberry, and grape....

Monday, February 13, 2012
$199 from DNA 11 »

If you're a Double Helix Fan Club member, but can't make it to Japan to clone your face, and find the prospect of being mug-melded with your sister a little disturbing, check out this subtler artistic representation of your...

Wednesday, March 20, 2013
$129.95 - $199.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

It's a Back of the Door Cabinet. Seven words, and my work is done....

Sunday, March 25, 2012
$34.99 from Battleshots »

Ah, it appears a version of Battleship has been invented for the kids who actually leave their dorm rooms on Friday nights. Battle Shots, in a hilarious act of futility, purports to combine analytical thinking and strategic...

Friday, August 26, 2011

Mmmm... Delicious banana flavored scorpion vodka. I've been dying for some of this stuff. Equally as refreshing after a long run as when you wake up in a shallow dirt grave across the Mexican border. Nothing takes the sting...

Monday, July 30, 2012
$239.95 from Etsy »

Pastiche of 1960s artistic minimalism and Cold War technology, anyone? The Six Digit Nixie Tube Clock combines original Russian New Old Stock IN-14 Nixie tubes with 16 user-controlled colors of LED lighting, and the hands...

Wednesday, December 12, 2012
$399 - $1,300 from Drive a Tank »

Tank camp? Oh boy, I've been looking for an excuse to go to Kasota, Minnesota! The Drive a Tank family owns and operates this adrenaline-jacking experience 90 minutes outside of Minneapolis, during which participants can not...

Thursday, October 11, 2012
$425 from Etsy »

I'm imagining how much toxic air I could intake, and how many zombies I could Sucker Punch in this kick ass leather and aluminum Defender Gas Mask. Pretty sure the total is zero, but I'm going to look so damn cool getting...

Tuesday, June 4, 2013
$10.18 from Amazon »

Even though my distaste for cats is such that I kind of wish someone would lock all of them in a bell tower scheduled to be lit on fire, I've read a few of the entries from this I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats...

Tuesday, July 17, 2012
$387k from Lamborghini »

When the Dark Knight rises he'll be chillin' in carbon fiber, revving a 700 HP V12 engine, and surging from 0 to 62 mph in 2.9 seconds. The Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 makes its big screen debut--and probably one of its...

Wednesday, October 10, 2012
$39.90 from dbeauty shop »

Batman. He's conquered the comics. He's conquered the big screen. He's conquered Lycra and plastic composites armor. Now, he's here to take on eyeballs. Batman Contact Lenses make their wearers one with the Dark Knight's optics...

Wednesday, February 20, 2013
$10.93 from Amazon »

Good thing they didn't let me name this portable, credit-card-sized razor and mirror combo. I would have picked something stupid like Carzor. You know, credit card + razor = Carzor. Like how Brad + Angelina = ...oh wait, what...

Thursday, February 7, 2013
$16 from Amazon »

My first question when Tim Joyce wrote to me about his Dry Goods athletic powder was, "Uh, what's that?" To which he responded, "It's essentially sprayable Gold Bond without the mess." Cool. But of course my second question...

Sunday, April 22, 2012

No matter the context, the topic of head always seems to be a controversial one. Does it enhance the experience or cheapen it? How much is too much? Do you let others know when they get a little bit stuck to their face? The...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013
$1,462.28 from Amazon »

One time my friend Esteban bought a boat and named it Anubis and that's about the only exposure I've ever had to the Egyptian jackal-headed god of the underworld. But I guess if I'm lucky when I die he and his six-pack will...

Friday, October 12, 2012
$50.95 from Yandy »

Ahhh, a Sexy Straitjacket Costume. The pinnacle of Sexy WTF Costumes--narrowly beating out the Sexy Hamburger--and a fun way to perpetuate the stereotype that all hot chicks are crazy. Why be a Sexy Nurse or a Sexy Cop or...

Saturday, December 21, 2013
$15 from Amazon »

Aw, little hummingbird charms to perch atop my wine glass and demarcate which syrah has my backwash in it. How precious and handy. A service to all. And unlike ringed glass ID tags, the hummingbirds can act as markers for...

Saturday, November 9, 2013
$199.44 from Amazon »

Problem 1: Finding a surface area of my mama's house large enough to accommodate a puzzle whose assembled size measures 214" x 75.5", or about 17' x 6'. Problem 2 (and Problem Much Bigger): Uh, putting the brain-and-eye-fryer...

Thursday, March 21, 2013
By: LumiLor

Last time you attended a rave or pimped your ride with EL wire, I bet you thought, "This electroluminescent technology is sick...but I wish I had it in sprayable form." Well, meet LumiLor, the answer to your prayers. LumiLor...

Sunday, April 8, 2012
$760 from VITEOSHOWER »

The only thing better than a water shower cascading down from above is a water shower shooting up from below. Champions of bidets and enemas, you know what we're talking about, 'ey? And though the photos depict fancy frolicking...