A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, October 17, 2012
$41.38 from Amazon »

Good news, Ralphie Parker. The whole point of the Mace Pepper Gun is to shoot an eye out. Using patented Bag-in-a-Can technology--ooh, that sounds...the opposite of intimidating--the pistol's system enables loaded cartridges...

Tuesday, July 2, 2013
$35 from HALO »

That bunny rabbit in the red HALO pet collar might be the cutest non-human woman I have ever seen. Even cuter than that Pomeranian with its own product line that disgruntles me by way of melting my heart every time I see it....

Monday, February 10, 2014
$49.95 - $79.99 from Amazon »

Wear this Star Trek-inspired jersey while cycling and you'll be tele-biking to work to save gas instead of actual biking to work and possibly getting taken out by a car to save gas. Just kidding....

Monday, May 21, 2012
$24.95 from No Starch Press »

LEGO Heavy Weapons, a guide to transforming the iconic building blocks into equally iconic firearms, is author Jack Streat's debut book. Just prior to its publication, he worked full-time at Algebra 2, driver's ed, and asking...

Monday, December 17, 2012
$7.99 from Amazon »

Don't be fooled by the MY3D Viewer's cheap plastic look and the implications of Amazon's selling it for 73% off at printing. This purveyor of 3D and 360-degree iPhone and iPod touch entertainment has largely favorable buyer...

Sunday, January 6, 2013
$4.95 from Trongs »

Obviously I like eating with my hands. It goes with the territory of being a man. Buuut...I really hate when BBQ and Buffalo wing sauce get under my fingernails and into the cuts I have from doing manly things with my hands, such as rewiring the bathroom and chewing on my cuticles. Now I realize that I may be given merciless shit for addressing these problems with Trongs, but to any dude ready...

Thursday, February 28, 2013
$7.15 from Sharetapes »

I'm not sure who decided mixtapes were in need of a resurgence, but to whomever it was, congratulations. The Aussies were listening. And they've added upgrades in the form of NFC chips, QR codes, and the removal of old-school...

Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

When you wake up in the morning 'cause the alarm gives out a warning, do you think you'll never make it on time? And does this make you sad because you'd rather stay in bed? Like, sadder than Kelly was that time she thought...

Wednesday, November 6, 2013
$1,799 - $3,499 from Elliptigo »

If you thought the future was incubating in the frames of Google Glass and laces of Marty McFly Nikes, then behold the offspring of the gym's dorkiest piece of cardio equipment and urbanity's most aggressive sharer of the...

Monday, July 2, 2012
$25.95 - $35 from Amazon »

Being a fan of the Dark Knight isn't necessary for giving two enthusiastic thumbs up and a shit-eating grin to this Batsuit. Ladies wearing a glow-in-the-dark Batman camisole and lace-up underwear set might even turn Robin's...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The complete evolutionary tree of the video game controller, tracking 82 species and 9 genera over four decades. Printed in rich indigo ink. My favorite is still the Intellivision controller which was basically a phone dialpad...

Friday, February 10, 2012
$3,499 from LifeGem »

From ashes to ashes...to bedazzled ashes. Gone are the days of keeping the deceased in our hearts. In their place? Keeping the deceased around our fingers, atop our wrists, or dangling from our necks. LifeGem diamonds are...

Tuesday, September 25, 2012
$6.99 from Etsy »

Incoming! And this time, in addition to unleashing artillery, they're also unleashing the ripe, fishy odors of feet that have been sweating underneath an 8" thickness of woolen yarn! Tank Slippers, should you be up for the...

Friday, March 14, 2014
$65 - $100 from Stamp Yo Face! »

Haha, all dudes in a relationship are about to get the gift of a rubber couples' stamp. Every envelope, every paper lunch sack, every note to empty the dishwasher and fix the toilet and change the filter in the air conditioner...

Friday, November 22, 2013
$31.75 - $100 from Shapeways »

Could the knuckle duster beard comb become the new pinky ring? Intimidating, yet decorative, with the added bonus of serving a pragmatic purchase? Oh boy! I hope this power play comes to pass. I'd consider the finger ring-face...

Wednesday, November 27, 2013
$5,400 from Frontgate »

The idea of Dasher, a life-size reindeer that talks and moves, is decent, but, uh...did they have to give him the voice of Ross Matthews? MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Let's hang pink and purple stockings! At least that's how...

Friday, August 9, 2013
$219.99 from Amazon »

Having not tried one myself, so far my favorite attribute of Nick Scroggs and Fred Bane's hammock-backpack combo, the HackedPack, is that if you go to the naptime buddy's Facebook page, you'll see that Linda Scroggs, who I...

Friday, December 7, 2012
$49.99 from Amazon »

Girls next door, meet your neighbor Totoro. And wear him as a cloak. How cute and fuzzy and irresistible you will be together. Skipping down the street. Cuddling in front of the TV. Making me drool at Comic-Con. Totoro is...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014
$12.21 from Amazon »

When I was little Mr. Spock and Dr. Spock were names thrown around on TV and in my household with equal regularity, so for years I thought they were the same person. It seemed only mildly strange that a pointy-eared human-vulcan...

Sunday, September 4, 2011
$28 from Etsy »

The living and the undead are vastly different creatures. But one thing holds true... zombie snitches get zombie stitches. This choker acts as a suture across a non-existent gash in your neck undoubtedly given to you for your...

Sunday, December 23, 2012
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

I wonder if they ship it packed in porcelain. Though an official nod to Dude, Where's My Car? UFO cultists and their leader, Zoltan, the Bubble Wrap Suit really transcends circa 2000 stoner flick pigeon holes in its practicality...

Friday, December 28, 2012
$12 - $39 from CRL Products »

Precision machined dice made from pure, solid metal. Just like my abs. Amber Rix's wildly successful Kickstarter project will reward backers with a choice of 3/4" dice in 7 different unmixed, undiluted material types: Aluminum;...

Friday, February 8, 2013

And I don't mean the kind of airplane trunk Auntie Heloise carries when she travels. The Blackhawk Secretary Trunk, an all-inclusive, roller work station, is quilted in polished aluminum panels held together with exposed steel...

Friday, July 19, 2013
$34.99 from LEGO CUUSOO »

When you get turned into a LEGO Minifigure, you've pretty much reached legendary status in my opinion. So congratulations, Michael J Fox. You badass. And, in adjectival form, check out the badass reason Marty McFly gets to...

Wednesday, December 19, 2012
$5.99 from Amazon »

Hey, it's a lock back Key Knife for all of my knifely pursuits, such as opening my fan mail, defending myself against my neighbor's deceptively aggressive Havanese, and slicing through vacuum packs of PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter...

Friday, April 20, 2012
Discontinued

Though it may seem that this Predator Mask would be useful only as a Halloween costume, it in fact has a wealth of practical applications. Obviously it will give children, and probably dogs, horrific nightmares, and so serves...

Monday, July 9, 2012
$85 - $450 from Etsy »

Rejoice ye liquor-sipping non-smokers who thought the Octopus Pipes we featured last month would be cool, if only you inhaled. Kraken Flasks are here to evoke equal reverence from those who enjoy a fine swig of Scotch or nip...

Saturday, December 29, 2012
$7.16 from Amazon »

Shit Happens So Get Over It. Is the title not inspiration enough? I'm not sure I even need to read beyond the cover to figure out that this book would like me to suck it up. And rightly so. Times are tough. We could all use...

Sunday, July 28, 2013
$8.70 from Amazon »

Making dinner. Anymore it's either taxing, convoluted, frustrating, or comes straight from a box/can/Ramen pouch. Why, when you walk into the kitchen and lament, What the F*@# should I make for dinner?, can't there be an immediate...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

In my opinion and experience, the only thing worse than having to operate a sailboat would be having to build the sailboat first. Why would I want to waste 30 hours (maker BBCo's estimate on how long you'll toil to take this...

Tuesday, August 7, 2012
$24 from Wine Folly »

Wine Folly has released this quasi-satirical, though largely legit and helpful, infographic to assist self-conscious or indecisive wine buyers in the selection of the perfect bottle to bring, serve, or guzzle down solo while...

Saturday, January 12, 2013
$128.95 - $229 from HALO »

Several months ago, Vincent Ng ran an extremely successful Kickstarter Campaign for his HALO LED Sport Belt, which he is now manufacturing and selling for the luminous enjoyment and nighttime safety of all. Round 2 of Ng's...

Sunday, May 13, 2012
$24 from Games World »

Neon and mesh clothing are back in style, why not the Game Boy wrist watch? Though while Forever 21 has an entire 787 hangar full of hot pink, highlighter yellow, and retina-blasting green fishnets and half shirts, this little...

Thursday, December 15, 2011
$25.95 from Amazon »

Holy shit, I'm feeling epically perplexused just looking at this gnarled sphere of chaos. And that's not even the interactive fun part. Inside the visual affront is a little steel ball, which must be wound around the structure's...

Thursday, September 20, 2012
$64.99 from Amazon »

It's a highly inappropriate Rudolph sandwich, wherein Rudolph proves that he can both dish it out and take it. The Reindeer Threesome Sweater is to make your holidays, and particularly your impending Ugly Christmas Sweater...

Wednesday, September 5, 2012
$2,060 from Singulier »

Backpacking season is drawing to a close, but here's a ray of sunshine to keep you fueled through the harsh winter: Eastpak's Backpack Sofa, a rigid polyurethane foam and cordura concoction that promises to replicate the discomforts...

Thursday, July 11, 2013
$9.29 - $19.99 from Amazon »

[Cue voice of James Earl Jones.] Rising menacingly from the depths of this cup of chamomile sleepytime tea with a squeeze of lemon...THE KRAKEN! Muahahahaha!...

Monday, January 28, 2013
$149.99 from Podium Cycling »

When I first heard about the Pee-wee Herman cycling suit I thought I had been proven wrong in my contention that nothing on earth could make cyclists look any more ridiculous than they already do. Seriously, does any sport...

Friday, June 15, 2012

Here's a practical, $50,000 solution to the conundrum of...ummm...BBQing on float trips without leaving the water? Executing the 1-2 punch of catching and cooking fish to order? Romantic roundtable dining cruises with expertly...

Tuesday, August 7, 2012
$246.93 from Amazon »

Coffee has become a culture so packed with rabid enthusiasts and discerning connoisseurs it's hard not to compare its advocates to the wine world's oenophiles, the auto world's car buffs, and the marijuana world's potheads*....

Saturday, December 15, 2012
$179.99 from Amazon »

After that Outkast song came out about shaking it like a Polaroid picture, Polaroid had to issue an official press release advising its customers not to shake the photos at the risk of compromising their quality. Fun story...

Saturday, June 29, 2013
$20.83 from Amazon »

The Corkcicle for girly white and pink wine now has a version for manly yellow and brown beer. After 45 minutes in the freezer, Chillsners insert into and latch onto bottles of brew to maintain optimal ice coldness from swig...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Discontinued

Having played Assassin's Creed III for a full 24 hours now, I feel appropriately equipped to don a Connor Kenway costume and wield my tomahawk against the evil plaguing my non-PlayStation world. And it's Halloween! Which means...

Bar
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$90.61 - $98.88 from Amazon »

When the tops come off, the fun begins! That's what they say about these bottle cap bar stools, but I don't see much about the statement that has anything to do with bottle cap bar stools. Obviously I like it as it relates...

Wednesday, January 1, 2014
$128.28 from Amazon »

Happy New Year! Here's something to make you feel fat, ugly, and depressed motivate and inspire you to reach your 2014 fitness goals! The Fitbit Aria Wi-Fi Smart Scale measures weight, body fat percentage, and body mass index...

Thursday, April 12, 2012
$2,500 from WaveJet »

"Aquamotive Technology" and "Personal Water Propulsion" devices are what WaveJet water pods term themselves. I think that's a fancy way to say "Go-Go-Gadget surfboard". Rechargeable and controlled wirelessly with a wristband...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012
$7.18 from Amazon »

I know at least one person getting Boska Holland's ToastaBags for Father's Day. On the rare occasions my dad is forced to spearhead his own feedings, he likes to make grilled cheese sandwiches. And the way my dad makes grilled...

Monday, January 23, 2012
$35.95 from Erox »

Erox is a unisex body spray that synergizes scents of grapefruit, bergamot, pepper, lavender, and amber with actual human pheromones. It's like Axe with pseudo-pop-scientific research, and reality-TV vixen Adrienne Curry...

Saturday, November 2, 2013
$26.99 from ThinkGeek »

Shake it, shake it. Shake it like a Polaroid picture. Guess what! The next time you have to do that because you get a pesky dingle berry whilst sitting on the toilet, the Polaroll toilet paper holder will be there to provide...

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Chest bumps, head butts, and sharp kicks to the shins unite! The Human Slingshot is here to bring new meaning to the lead-in, "Guess who I ran into the other day?" The human-sized stretchable band, 4 close friends (or mortal...

Friday, July 20, 2012
$25.40 from Strapya World »

On the eve of the Zombie/Mayan/Raining Fires of Hell Apocalypse, Strapya World suggests humans band together, hunker down...and kick off the end of days with a sushi revolution! Men, women, children with developed fine motor...

Saturday, August 24, 2013
$329.99 - $349.99 from Amazon »

Haha, that dude in the bunk bed looks like the creepy 50-year-old who goes back to college during his mid-life crisis and tries to re-enact his glory days by moving into the dorms and chasing around co-eds his daughter's age...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013
$69.95 from Amazon »

It was a tough call which of the Perfect 10 happy families splashing around in the Intex Easy Set Pool to pick as the product's featured photo, but I ultimately decided the blonde MILF in the winning shot was a better representative...

Wednesday, May 1, 2013
$39.99 from Mommysentials »

The Baby Hanger. A design so utilitarian, yet so uproariously hilarious, that I almost want to acquire an infant just so that I can hook it on a bathroom stall. Check out the gaping mouth and dangling legs on that kid. He...

Saturday, May 11, 2013
$439.13 from Amazon »

At this point we all know that if I have the opportunity to circumvent or finagle my way out of manual labor, everyone better settle in for a sweeping display of circumventing and finagling. So the news that setup of Kelty's...

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Isn't everything that isn't a Kardashian bank account or body part supposed to be getting smaller? Especially image-capturing devices. But this throwable ball camera is uncomfortably large. It appears to have the same circumference...

Saturday, April 6, 2013

A few years ago, Portuguese carpenter Carlos Alberto became the Best Dad in the World--not just an imposter Best Dad in the World who wears the T-shirt and flashes the mug--when he carved his daughter Daniela a Vespa-styled...

Bar
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
$2,499.99 - $3,699.99 from Party Robotics »

Robots do it better. The "it" this time: cocktails. Bartendro, a modular, open-source cocktail dispensing robot, makes a bevy of mixed drinks reliably and consistently in about 10 seconds a pop. Setups come with either 3...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$279 from GNR 8 »

The Mirror 180's joined splices allow it to tilt and reposition such that it reflects many a splendid thing. Namely, a more comprehensive view of me. One half of the mirror angles into 3 different positions, suiting a bevy...

Monday, August 12, 2013
$55 from Etsy »

3D printed, covering an iPhone, and in the shape of a skull may be the only way in which it is acceptable for a male to wear patterns of lace. Joshua Harker's 3D printed lacy-looking skull iPhone cases spiff up Steve Jobs'...

Saturday, April 14, 2012
$127.49 from Firebox.com »

I see your face on a wedding cake topper, and raise you your face on a Joker action figure. Have people always complimented your Batman-esque jawline? Admired your Superman benevolence? Bowed to your biting Joker wit? Had...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
$16 from Firebox.com »

What is, a man who ate his daughter's 1st birthday cake without a fork, Alex? No? What is...a makeshift Fraggle mask? No? OK, then how about you just tell me why this man has neon pink goo smeared on his face, Mr. Trebek?...

Monday, September 9, 2013
$99 - $199 from Kapture »

Kapture could easily both save and ruin my life. Because the snazzy wristband doesn't just record voices and conversations, it records them all the time. It runs continuously, collecting audio in 60-second buffered loops...

Sunday, June 17, 2012
$8,975 from Jetovator »

I've always wondered what envy in its purest form would look like. Thank you, Jetovator, now I know. In a monumentally sick display of flight and water-walking capabilities typically reserved for superheroes, Chuck Norris...

Monday, April 9, 2012

Taking a page from Apple's business model, the world of rhinoplasty has apparently determined that exorbitantly expensive nose jobs have been widely available for enough years now that it's time to do some price slashing....

Thursday, April 12, 2012
$19.95 from Replay Games »

An unmistakable flamingo pink box harboring the promise of virtual teenage sex pulsated amidst the circa-1987 Target shelves overrun with copies of Oregon Trail and Think Quick. Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge...

Monday, July 29, 2013
$296.97 from Amazon »

I don't usually swing, but when I do, I swing in a Vivere Dream Chair. Partly because it rocks my soul to a state of unwavering peace, and partly because whenever I try to get into one of those adulterous little circles, they...

Monday, June 24, 2013
$48.95 from Etsy »

Well I know which of Geekify's Game of Thrones eReader cases I wouldn't want: House Stark. Jon Snow may be the only literal illegitimate child of the Winterfell clan, but I feel like that whole family is some poooooor bastards....