Mario Piranha Plant Glass Pipe

Discontinued

If you "fertilize" it properly and approach it from the right end, not only will the Piranha Plant not kill you, it will actually ease any pain you may have, and make you feel blissfully content. Though also maybe hungry...

ShutterBall - Bluetooth Selfie Camera

$9.44 from Amazon »

Hmmm, ShutterBall looks like gadget fit for the MUA. But I guess that's not surprising given that people seem to enjoy taking selfies as much as they enjoy using sex toys these days. This bulbous piece of Bluetooth tech...

Treeincarnation: From Ashes to Spiritree

$225 from The Spiritree »

Hello, children. In today's lesson we will learn about death and gardening. First, meet Walter. Walter is dead. That's why he fits so easily inside this urn. Now meet the Spiritree. The Spiritree is also an urn, but it...

SteelBell Steel Shot-Filled Neoprene Weights

$39.99 - $122.85 from Amazon »

While SteelBell creator Hyperwear also makes neoprene SandBells, these steel shot-filled versions of the free weights are about half the size of and, some say, twice as dynamic as their counterparts. Available as individual...

Batman Car Seat

$149 from KidsEmbrace »

A Batman Car Seat?! Kids these days are so spoiled. When I was of car seat age my mama didn't even put me in a car seat. She strapped me down with bungee cords. And only on the inside of the car instead of the roof on...

Jet Fry Oil-Free Fryer

$150.46 from Amazon »

I have a hard time believing that fried food tastes like fried food if it's not fried fully submerged in the succulent greasiness of oils corn, palm, peanut, or pig. But, since I'd prefer not to have my first dance with...

Functional Steampunk Keyboard Arm Guard

$2,499 from Etsy »

If you were wondering whether or not post-apocalyptic society will be integrating text messaging with self-defense, the answer is yes. Thomas Willeford's steampunk keyboard-arm guard combo sports futuristic Victorian...

Woojer Tactile Subwoofer - Feel the Sound

$99 - $179 from Woojer »

Woojer is a tiny subwoofer you situate on your favorite place to experience tactile vibrations (er, favorite place above the belt). Then when you fire up your music or video game, the sound won't just resonate in your...

Urine Powered Batteries

Yes, $62 for six AAs is steep, but they hold their charge for up to 10 years, and, let's face it, you're never going to have trouble finding a couple mils of pee when they need a reboot. NoPoPos (No Pollution Power) are...

Revolights Bike Lighting System

$229 - $499 from Revolights »

Revolights, a wheel-mounted bicycle headlight and taillight system, equip cyclists with wheels that provide true 360-degree visibility, plus an integrated brake light indicator. The Kickstarted company's current model...

Murphy Bed for Dogs

The 21st century: where dog food is for humans, and human beds are for dogs. Oh, and you can also wear the Internet on your face. Murphy’s Paw Design and Clark | Richardson Architects have developed two Barkitecture-award-winning...

Hellcat Combat Motorcycle

On August 29, 2012, James Hoegh gunned and smoked his Confederate Motorcycles' X132 Hellcat Combat to an average top speed of 172.2 mph on northwestern Utah's Bonneville Salt Flats. It set a new land speed record for...

ZORBZ Self-Sealing Water Balloons

$10.23 from Amazon »

Don't want to wait 19 months, or whatever the current ETA for Bunch O Balloons is? Get an instant water balloon fix with ZORBZ latex bombs. You won't be able to pump up 3 dozen of them at once, but the balloons' self-sealing...

Crocheted Optimus Prime Helmet

$79.99 - $84.99 from BriAbby »

My grandma used to crochet me things. Yeah, used to. Like she used to make me waffles from scratch. Then she got lazy and just hoped I wouldn't notice when she started replacing the once bountiful discs cratered with...

Nasal Nausea - Military-Grade Stink Solution

$10.48 from Amazon »

Who wants to dissipate a crowd? Shorten the line to get into Comic-Con? Gain some alone time with the Mona Lisa at the Louvre? Convince the cop you really were going 120 in response to massive GI issues? Nasal Nausea...

Limefuel Rugged 15,000mAh Battery

$139.95 from Amazon »

Limefuel, makers of the Limeade backup battery pack, have gone Rugged. As its name would suggest, the 15,000mAh L150XR Rugged has the highest Ingress Protection rating in the external battery market (IP66), and calls...

Dapper Celebrity Soldier Prints

$24.95 - $55.95 from Society 6 »

Obviously the only one of these celebrities who really sat for his French Republican Guard...or whatever...portrait in the 19th century is Chuck Norris because he's immortal and easily over 200 years old. The rest are...

Atlas Next Level Fitness Monitor

$249 from Atlas »

For Atlas, "next level" in smart wearables means more than tracking heart rates, counting calories, and noting that you have just walked 22 steps when you sit in front of the TV with a plate of fried chicken and shake...

Big-O Stunt Skates

Despite their being shaped like big Os, I'm not sure about Big-O as a name for these stunt skates. I'm pretty sure if I were to try them, the words "Big O" would not be at the forefront of my mind. I'd call mine Big I...

Schiller X1 Water Bike

$6,495 - $8,775 from Schiller »

I used to see this dude pedaling around a lake near where I live on a water bike. He always had his Westie dog with him, riding in a milk crate attached to the front. Like a Bizarro World Dorothy and Toto. I don't think...

Pelican Crushproof Backpacks

$75 - $350 from Amazon »

Defense wins games. (Right, Peyton?) Defensive driving prevents accidents. Proof of self-defense averts jail time. And a Pelican crushproof barrier defending your laptop against fat Aunt Jan tripping over a strap of the...

Star Wars Ear Plugs

$24.95 - $44.95 from Etsy »

Ear plugs make me a little queasy. Even those fitted with a painted acrylic AT-AT. Though if you're going to stretch a 1" hole in the middle of your earlobe, it would probably be my #1 choice of things to fill it with....

Ninja Turtles Bra

Sold Out from Etsy »

Some would say the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are making a comeback. LL Cool J would probably say don't call it a comeback, they've been here for years. Teri Hatcher and John Travolta would warn Leonardo, Michelanglo...

Original Thai Red Bull

$9.27 from Amazon »

Red Bull creator Chaleo Yoovidhya died in March 2012, leaving behind an unparalleled energy drink phenomenon and industry. Not since Coca-Cola and YouTube spectacles involving numerous tabs of Alka Seltzer has a carbonated...

Rhino Unbreakable Shoelaces

$19.95 from Amazon »

Rhino Laces are guaranteed to be unbreakable, fireproof, and slashproof. By both the people who make them and the people who wear them--who happen to be one in the same. A group of wildland firefighters, tired of the...

Bubble Waffle Pan

$49 from Amazon »

I didn't know I had a favorite Hong Kong street food until I saw this fat, doughy bubble waffle. I haven't tasted one yet, but am reassured by the fact that my gut pretty much always gets along with anything described...

Ducati Monster Diesel

$13,795 from Ducati »

Ducati and Italian clothing designer (not gasoline classification) Diesel teamed up in 2011 to begin collaborations on a fashion-forward motorcycle. Just over a year later, the Monster Diesel marked its arrival, and Ducati...

28-Port MondoHub

$59.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Get the 28-port MondoHub for $39 off its retail price! A limited time offer from the Dude Exclusives online store....

Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate

$9.99 from Amazon »

If I wrote a book, Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate is exactly what I'd call it. Well, that or Yeah, You're a Pedestrian and Technically Have the Right of Way, but If You March into the Street All Self-Entitled Without...

FlipBelt Fitness Storage Belt

$28.99 - $29.50 from Amazon »

One nice thing about the FlipBelt is that it doesn't appear to make you look like you're wearing a fanny pack or running to burn off that spare tire encircling your gut region. Slim, comfortable, and sturdy, the storage...

Scout HD Security Camera

The makers of Atticus Finch's favorite home security system, Scout, are expanding their family. One of their forthcoming arrivals, the Scout HD Camera, is a 1080p, WiFi-enabled, "burglar-beating machine" intended to simply...

Wally Home Hazard Sensing System

Nothing says Happy Holidays like a frozen pipe exploding in the basement! Made better only by the residual moisture it leaves and resultant mold you discover come spring. Wally is a home hazard sensing system devised...

Frosty the Nose Thief Sweater

$64.95 from Amazon »

Oh I see what Frosty did there. He stole that other snowman's nose. And put it on his crotch. So now he has a carrot schnoz and a carrot ding dong. I bet the other snowman is actually a snowlady. Yeah, now it all makes...

Supersized ilumi Smartbulb

$89 from ilumi »

For those out there seeking Magnum-sized mood lighting to go with your Magnum-sized...heart and desire to sweetly romance your lady friend with no expectations or monkey business whatsoever, ilumi has fed its A21 Smartbulb...

Sucker Punch Babydoll Costume

$410 from Etsy »

I lost everyone I loved. And then they locked me away. With no where to hide from the pain. Until they came out with this hot costume. Is there anything better than a woman in uniform? Does anyone have any good Tomb Raider...

NES30 Bluetooth Controller

$29.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Some N-E-S for your A-P-Ps. The NES30 is a Bluetooth controller fashioned in the likeness of the greatest and most iconic controller in history. Well, maybe tied with the Pac-Man arcade joystick. Cord-free and liberated...

Harley Quinn Hoodie

$119.99 from Etsy »

Gee boss, you really know how to put the fun in funeral. DC Universe supervillain Harley Quinn serves as the inspiration for another Geeky U reimagination of the hoodie. (Previous take: Link from The Legend of Zelda.)...

Aqua Farm

$59.99 from Amazon »

I've observed my fair share of pet fish poop over the years--both floating at the surface of my aquarium and during the fabrication process as it emerged from its host--and I feel very uneasy at the thought of it serving...

Lightpack - Ambient Backlight for Displays

$119 from Lightpack »

Initially I thought Lightpack was meant to be some sort of aesthetic enhancement for the media screens of gamers and ravers and I was like, Whatever, if I want to see a rainbow light show from my couch, I'll just get...

Your Stick Figure Family Was Delicious Decal

$2.95 from Amazon »

The problem with free speech is that it makes everyone think it's OK for them to say something. For our forefathers, free speech meant frank debates and sweeping public addresses. Today it means Facebook tirades, anonymous...

93
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
Original Grain Wood Watches

Giveaway: Original Grain Wood Watches

Enter to win your choice of an Original Grain all-natural wood and stainless steel watch (up to a $195 value)!...

30th Anniversary LEGO Ghostbusters

Can you believe that June 7th, 2014 will mark the 30th anniversary of the original Ghostbusters movie? Heady stuff. I feel sorry for myself that I was alive on that release date. But not as sorry as I feel for those of...

Animal Cruelty Laser Mate

Sold Out from Amazon »

Ah perfect. Pets are great... until they impose on us in any manner. Cuddling on the couch and receiving unconditional love? I'm in. Taking them out, walking them, playing with them... that's kind of a nuisance. It really...

Skull Finger Sap

$55 from D3 Protection »

Sap is an interesting word because it can connote both a sorry, pathetic loser and an object of grit and power that will F your S up. Here we will talk about the second version of sap because, in honor of summer's official...

Sensordrone 11-in-1 Bluetooth Sensor

Use the Sensordrone to turn your smartphone into a mobile, wearable, programmable 11-in-one sensor. Available for $149, 25% off its $199 retail value, for a limited time from the Dude Exclusives online store....

Planet Earth Globe Fire Pit

Ahhh, a globe-shaped fire pit whose flaming cutouts are our planet Earth's continents. Just like my grandma always said: the next time the world goes down, it's going down in flames. This sinister piece of social commentary...

101 Places to Get F*cked Up Before You Die

$10.90 from Amazon »

F*cked up? I prefer to think of it as irreverently incapacitated. But that's just because I'm a pillar of class even when I'm challenging a Belgian vagabond to a Fireball shooting contest in a Buenos Aires bar, and then...

4D Vision Anatomy Models

$25.08 from Amazon »

Not so scary when you're splayed across my coffee table in 20 detachable organs and body parts, are you Jaws? Ow! F- OK, fine. Teeth still sharp in 13" long 4D model. Shark still mildly intimidating....

Lekue All-in-One Bread Maker

$34.29 from Amazon »

Lekue's Bread Maker is a bearer of bread. Bread, according to the Catalonian design firm, that bakes crusty and golden inside the same silicone container it's been weighed, kneaded, and shaped in. And you thought the...

BoozeBots Robot Bartenders

$680 - $1,275 from BoozeBots »

More compact, less daunting, and less expensive (though still not cheap) takes on the previously Kickstarted Bartendro, BoozeBots are drink-slinging robots. Machines that siphon connected ingredients and use a library...

Mirage 3D Instant Hologram Maker

$35.98 from Amazon »

It's all smoke and mirrors. Or, in the case of Mirage's 3D hologram maker, just mirrors. Great fun for kids, and not very bright fat people who can't figure out why they CAN'T. GRAB. THE M&Ms. Here, Chubs, have a strawberry...

Twinkind - 3D Printed Me

$295 - $1,689 from Twinkind »

A miniature exact replica of mine own self, scanned and 3D printed to order? Hmmm. How about a gargantuan, like 10:1, 3D-printed twin that I can fill with air as I would a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade ballon and float...

The Best Wrong Test Answers Book

$8.44 from Amazon »

The lowest frequency noise a human ear can detect: a mouse. The highest: Mariah Carey. At least according to one points-for-creativity-deserving test taker included in F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers....

The Manual to Manhood

$11.65 from Amazon »

Some dude at work gave me this Manual to Manhood malarkey. Like, he was under the impression that I don't know how to tie a tie or cook a steak or change my oil. Which is true, but I'm not sure why I'd waste my time reading...

AT-AT Dog Costume

$14.25 - $20.35 from Amazon »

It's an AT-AT. Costume. For your dog. I know Halloween is still 2 months and 14 days away, but I sense these babies are going to sell out quick come October 1st. And anyway, a lot of dog owners get a charge out of dressing...

Water Hamster Wheel

$357.55 from Amazon »

Why hello, miss. That's a real nice pink bunny rabbit tattoo you've got there on your L4 and L5 vertebrae. How's about you, me, and the Energizer mascot go take a dip in the water and a roll in the ha...mster wheel?...

Puzzle Pod - Cryptex Packaging

$29.95 from Amazon »

What better way to enjoy giving a gift as much as receiving one than to present it to its recipient in a Puzzle Pod? For this DaVinci Code-style cryptex, which must be solved before the goods inside are accessible, will...

Giant Lobster Hand Claws

$34.95 from Archie McPhee »

I believe all children with no existing physical or mental impairments who think they're hot little shits should be required to wear these giant lobster claws on their hands for a day to learn how it feels to be different...

Morninghead: Man's 5-Second Hairstylist

Sold Out from Amazon »

Sometimes, the last thing you want to wake up to is morning head. It's unruly and it's hard to handle, yet it must be calmed before leaving the house. It especially must be calmed before facing your ball buster of a boss...

Big Sleeping Grizzly Bear Bean Bag

$215 from Etsy »

Although this grizzly bear won't tote you around on his back and serve as your mystical forest companion, chances are he also won't eat you when you plop down on or dive bomb him while he slumbers. Because this is a Big...

Kitchen Apron with Built-in Oven Gloves

$49.99 from Amazon »

The Mitten Apron guarantees you'll never need to wonder where you left that oven glove, or risk finding out if the casserole dish is really still too hot to touch without one, again. Built-in hotness handlers make it...

Mycestro 3D Mouse Ring

$149 from Amazon »

Controlling objects through abracadabra gestures seems to be a hot trend right now. So can someone please make me a Mycestro 3D Mouse ring or MYO Armband that, in addition to manipulating my PC, will also abracadabra...

Shotgun Flower Shell

Plant flowers, not bullet wounds. That's ST lab's rosy goal with Flower Shell. The Scandinavian company, which has developed several trendy, quirky, and what they hope will be considered visionary products, plans to release...

ThermaCELL Mosquito Repellent

$24.99 from Amazon »

Dude reader Richard B. wrote to me in reverential verse about the ThermaCELL, a battery-operated personal mosquito repellent. His words were so moving and convincing that I really had no choice but to pass the endorsement...

SteriPEN Handheld UV Water Purifier

$89.95 from Amazon »

You can purify your water just like you can purify your laundry. The SteriPEN Adventurer Opti is a compact, handheld device that emits UV light to clean up to 8,000 liters of water. Designed specifically for outdoor/expedition...

Coco Jack Coconut Cracking Tools

$42 - $102 from Coco Jack »

I don't always crack open coconuts, but when I do...I usually require stitches, lose the use of my left thumb for several days, and get my mouthed washed out with soap by my mama. Coco Jack, a stainless steel push-and-pry...