A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Tuesday, December 18, 2012
$17.65 - $26.77 from Amazon »

Almost as interesting as it will be to watch the effects of my grandpa ingesting 4 pounds of processed sugar a la Slo Pokes, Red Hots, and Chuckles on Christmas morning is noting that, of the wax-wrapped candy treats contained...

Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

For those who believe Oregon is just full of bike-ridin', tree-huggin', farmer's-market-shoppin', paradoxically-Nike-wearin' liberal geeks...well, maybe you're mostly right, but Oregonians also have some pretty wicked creativity...

Sunday, September 4, 2011
$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

Equally adept at keeping your more retarded friends locked in as getting them all killed in a fire, the Defendius Labyrinth Security Lock is a pretty cool concept. Wouldn't this be better for impeding entry to keep all of your smelly friends out?...

Thursday, May 9, 2013
$22.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Though not as blood-curdling as a breaching shark in an elevator, an alligator snarling up through a manhole cover on my front doorstep should make uninvited visitors take pause long enough to second guess their decision to...

Thursday, October 4, 2012
$21.99 from Amazon »

I don't know how I feel about painting pregnant bellies for public display. Well, maybe it would be cool if one were painted with waves and then the small human being inside started kicking and fighting to get out and made...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012
$13.61 from Amazon »

Know what sucks about a bacon cheeseburger? OK, besides nothing. What sucks is when you sink your teeth into its crispy-juicy tag team of flesh, and the bacon doesn't break cleanly. When an entire, mayonnaise-laden strip slides out with a single bite, forcing you either to reassemble the mess of meat, or eat the pork magic on its own, thus leaving its bovine compadre bereft of the bacon adornment...

Tuesday, May 1, 2012
$6,560 from Weltevree »

According to manufacturer Weltevree, using the Dutch Tub is like "slipping inside a teacup." I'm not sure submersing myself in a vat of English Breakfast has ever been at the forefront of my fantasies, but, hey, these wood-fired...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Well here's one way to appease vegetarians, gluten intolerants, lousy cooks, people with a dish washing aversion, and Orville Redenbacher this Thanksgiving. King of POP has condensed an entire Turkey Day feast into 9 tubs...

Wednesday, June 5, 2013
$220 - $260 from Fluoa »

I wonder if the Fusion ergonomic backpack will still follow the natural curves of my posterior after I stuff it to the brim with a laptop, 2 full-size and 3 fun-size Snickers bars, 1 box of Barbara's Peanut Butter Puffins...

Thursday, January 17, 2013
By: Hapilabs

WARNING: Eating too fast leads to poor digestion and fatness. Well. HAPIfork sure has the Appeal to Fear propaganda technique down. Their marketing team must have studied under my grandma. That said, indigestion and fatness...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Monday, September 12, 2011
$8.65 million from 9010 Hopen »

Who would guess that what looks like a noninvasive skin rejuvenation clinic from the street opens into a panorama of contemporary cool with walnut floors, sultry lighting, and drop dead (literally, if you're not careful) views...

Tuesday, July 30, 2013
$15k from Scott Morrison »

Since wood craftsman Scott Morrison both takes pride in the quality of his work and operates as a one-man show, his design award-winning Rocker Cradle will be cost prohibitive for the vast majority of its admirers. However...

Monday, September 23, 2013

Battery-operated nail trimmer, um, no thank you, sir. Actually, my heart is pounding so fast and the knot snowballing in my stomach growing so large right now, I can't even muster the pleasantries. I'm just going to go with...

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Secured to the ground at one end, and by a string dangling from the hand of God at the other, The Balancing Barn is a heavenly retreat located on the edge of a tranquil nature reserve a few miles inland from the Suffolk coast....

Thursday, October 6, 2011
$30 from Etsy »

Set the tone for your super party with some super invitations. No envelope needed! When you open the bat covered flaps the invitation is inside. Constructed from high quality cardstock, the invitations are quite sturdy and...

Thursday, January 31, 2013
$49.99 from Amazon »

Cool kids don't pack heat, they pack humidity. With the aid of any standard screw-top water bottle, the Air-O-Swiss Travel Ultrasonic humidifier will pump your hotel suite or Aunt Jan's spare bedroom full of revitalizing...

Friday, July 20, 2012
$99.95 from ThinkGeek »

While I'm pretty sure the Sonic Screwdriver in remote control form cannot eradicate the entire E! Network or track aliens of the Zooey Deschanel persuasion, it can make brandishers feel like pretty bitchin' Time Lords while...

Thursday, August 29, 2013
$1,400 from Makerbot »

I don't know if I really need to 3D scan anything--well nothing that would fit within the MakerBot Digitizer's 8" diameter confines, winkwinknudgenugde--and I definitely know I do not have $1,400, but I like that little gnome....

Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

I've been looking for a speaker than can bump & grind as well as I do. The BlackDiamond3, a wireless/Bluetooth model compatible with all iProducts and most smartphones, raves in up to 16,000,000 LED colors, syncing vividly...

Friday, August 2, 2013
$44.95 from Amazon »

Why do we have so many shit-themed items around here? Steaming turd cakes to send anonymously to exes. Pills that turn your defecation adventures golden. Rich, delectable chocolates lovingly molded into the shape of assholes....

Sunday, January 13, 2013
$56.99 from Etsy »

Hand-sewn Yoda heads atop plush tan sweatshirts we will wear. Those of us who carry the Force will anyway. And with the Yoda Hoodies' slouchy front pockets, we'll even have a place to stuff it for safekeeping. Erin Maynard...

Sunday, September 18, 2011
Discontinued

Nothing says you mean business in a fight (or life) like a set of deer antlers fashioned into brass knuckles gripped loosely in an open hand. I think just wearing them is enough to deliver a firm message. What that message...

Wednesday, August 24, 2011
$49 million from Yahoo »

Think the washer and dryer included? This place has to be seen to be believed. Can someone who lives in LA drive by there and tell them you want to get some video for DudeIWantThat.com? Also get a video of their response when...

Tuesday, September 24, 2013
$16 from archer »

I'm not sure if a soap that smells of barrel-aged, charcoal-filtered whiskey will inspire me to do the dishes more often, but it will probably inspire me to to do that tie-dye lava milk experiment catalyzed by dish soap on...

Thursday, June 20, 2013
$24.95 from Amazon »

While I don't condone sleeping on a tie at work, I must say I have generally found my productivity (and genius!) levels to be highest after a few swigs of Grey Goose. So drinking out of a tie at work = acceptable. In moderation...

Tuesday, August 14, 2012
$125 from Beta Brand »

Betabrand, which also gave life to the Dress Pants Sweatpants, now sets its sights on helping you to, I quote, "make a nuclear-fueled spectacle of yourself" with its Reversible Disco Hoodie. Black cotton business on the outside...

Sunday, March 3, 2013
$31.18 from Amazon »

Today I will perform for the millions clicking on my YouTube shower curtain a rendition of Mr. Big's "To Be With You" as I lather my hair, followed by a standup routine about how I don't eat bivalves or things that taste like...

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

The days of old school Nintendo Zappers and Duck Hunt have come full circle. Except this time the Zapper is souped up with a 2W+ blue laser, and can blast real ducks. Or at least light paper ducks on fire. DIY extraordinaires...

Wednesday, April 18, 2012
$5.95 from Amazon »

Installing Jonny Glow strips on your toilet will preclude stubbed toes, bumped knees, smacked elbows, total face plants, and pissing on the cat during semi-conscious orienteering trips to the bathroom in the pitch black of...

Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Now that NFL powerhouse and perennial Super Bowl favorites the Seattle Seahawks have been knocked out of the playoffs, I'm going to have to find something else to do from within the 6' radius surrounding my recliner. Hey...

Sunday, February 19, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

When one talks about harnessing the power of the dragon, a 24.5-inch soul-reaping Draconic knife is second pretty much only to the ancient bloodline, and fearless nudity, of Daenerys Targaryen. A formidable slice-and-dice...

Wednesday, November 21, 2012
$1,095 from Oru Kayak »

The San Francisco Bay Area: Big waters, small living spaces, crowded streets, zero parking. Because Anton Willis loves to kayak, and because he isn't a whiner who sits around complaining about problems instead of doing something...

Monday, May 6, 2013
$49.99 from Nubrella »

In the realms of both personal health and interpersonal communication, the Nubrella serves as an excellent form of preventative medicine. It will shield its wearer from everything from hostile weather conditions to airborne...

Wednesday, December 5, 2012
$98 from Etsy »

Using the Roland TR-909 Rhythm Composer as their inspiration, The Puss Puss puts puts (gotta love the low-hanging fruit) its own spin on musically-themed swimwear with the PP-909 ladies' swimsuit. Knob, key, and button imagery...

Friday, May 31, 2013
$249 from Griz Coat »

Just in time for summer! A full-length, faux fur coat with a mother fucking wolf head. On the one hand, the creators of Griz Coats have dissed the brand's icon in favor of this lupine addition to their line of crafty and menacing...

Thursday, February 28, 2013

I don't really need a V-shaped toaster and accompanying knife to facilitate PB&J assembly and consumption--my mama makes mine. Crunchy Peter Pan, seedless strawberry jam, two slices of pumpernickel (shut up, it's delicious)...

Tuesday, October 16, 2012
$850 - $1,750 from Opulent Items »

Lamps and nightlights no longer have the corner on the lava market. Jockimio's Liquid Lava Tabletops comprise two sheets of polycarbonate sandwiching pleasingly vivid hues of liquid that swirl and lumber to the touch of a...

Monday, April 22, 2013

Don't try to pretend like you don't want a 5x magnified, 13,000 pixel view of your earwax. The EarScope delivers a nearly perfect image of the Q-Tip zone to assist with cleaning or taking sick pleasure in watching a mountain...

Wednesday, May 16, 2012
$129.99 from Etsy »

Diablo III saw its May 15, 2012 release plagued by the most wretched of all the Prime Evils: Error 3006. That's why it's always better to stick with the classics. Original issue NES Diablo may be an ancient one by laws of...

Saturday, October 19, 2013
$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

All I want to know is does this neon Ghostbusters sign come with an optional N64 add-on? Because I hear a simple phone call doesn't cut it with the crew these days. If you've got somethin' strange in your neighborhood, the...

Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Is there any sight more precious and heartwarming than a loved one sleeping peacefully within the jaws of a shark? Oh come on, in a way he's protecting them. I hear that even kidnappers, bogeymen, and dogs who like humping...

Thursday, August 22, 2013
$49 - $67 from iblazr »

Is iblazr truly the "first fully synchronized flash for iPhone, iPad, and Android"? I don't know, what do I look like, a fact checker? Someone who takes the time to verify the information he relays? I'll tell you one thing...

Friday, October 5, 2012
$25 - $65 from Amazon »

This Halloween, dress like you grew up in Iowa. The many men of Slipknot have many faces, most of them incredibly disturbing and fitting for a night of scaring the ever-loving sweet Jesus out of kiddos and seniors and maybe...

Sunday, April 29, 2012
Discontinued

Is it funny 'cause it's true? The witty, yet unfortunate Video Game Junkie Wedding Cake Topper is a Cynthia Niles custom design, made to order with a jumbo flat screen, and whatever gaming image, console & hand controller...

Sunday, January 29, 2012
$15 from The. »

All those turkeys who ask you to send them money? Relatives, charities, Billy Graham, the IRS. For less than $20, you can now ship each one of them thousands. And since these dead presidents double as packing material, may...

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Whenever someone compliments a girl's article of clothing, as in, "That's a nice dress," my friend Kristen always pipes up, "Is it the dress or the girl in the dress?" Touche, Kristen. Typically it is the girl in the dress....

Tuesday, November 5, 2013
$12.98 from Amazon »

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a living creature was stirring…but the undead ones were ampin' up to grub on some jolly fat man flesh....

Thursday, April 11, 2013
$49.99 from Trakdot »

Trakdot luggage finders enjoyed a grand reception at CES 2013, and the company is now gearing up for its initial propagation of Trakdots into the world on June 24, 2013. The palm-sized suitcase insert collaborates with an...

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Ok, guys, here's your mannequin. Now all you need is a couple of brassieres and the skills imparted by Gary and Wyatt to send you from single and living alone to Konichiwa, mon amour. I am at your service. This French Maid...

Monday, December 12, 2011
$30 from Etsy »

Breast enhancement surgery is a major decision every 16 year old girl has to make for herself. Why not give the new look a trial run first while at the very same time keeping your neck warm? Don't think that's possible? Nothing...

Wednesday, September 4, 2013
$399.95 - $469.95 from Zip Line Gear »

Even though Viper's Deluxe Zip Line Kit is rated for passengers of up to 350 pounds almost all of the photos I could find depict only kids using it. You know why? Because all of the adults who would like to partake in this...

Thursday, September 6, 2012
By: Ben Pawle

Though noble, I was very surprised to learn that One-Handed Condom Wrapper dreamer upper and designer Ben Pawle developed his concept (yes, sadly just a concept at this point, though now that it's hit the Web, I imagine...

Wednesday, March 13, 2013
$11.66 from Amazon »

The Art of Fixing Things. That's some euphemistic phrasing right there. Probably coined by a woman for other women to use in manipulating husbands, boyfriends, male buddies, and random dudes at the gym who appear to be able...

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Hybrid Race Replica, or HRR, Motorcyle is a material science concept racing bike that harnesses the power of 1 million babies, er, I mean the sun, with its thin film solar paint, as well as colleccts clean backup power...

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Say hello to my open-source, 18-foot-wide, 4,000-pound, 6-legged hydraulic little friend. His name's Stompy, and he is a gargantuan spideresque robot currently being built to tote humans, and crush the living bejeesus...

Tuesday, June 12, 2012
$22 from Amron »

My problem is that I'm so busy trying to Think Big that I often forget to Think Rational. Scott Amron obviously does not have this problem. His Rinser Toothbrush, whose tunneled handle serves as a spout that shoots faucet...

Saturday, October 20, 2012
$90 from Nike »

X-Ray Leggings have images of real bones digitally printed on their front and back. With an inexplicable collection of screws, broken femurs, and hip replacements decorating the gluteus maximus side. Oh, actually the explanation...

Saturday, May 4, 2013
$379 from Aark Collective »

The Aark black-on-black watch goes by the name of Iconic, but I feel it would be more appropriately termed Black Don't Crack because that is more catchy and memorable, as well as perhaps the truest adage ever coined. I mean...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012
$79.99 from ThinkGeek »

Ironically, the prevailing thought I have in looking at the photo of this TARDIS Mini Fridge with the door open is that it most definitely is not bigger on the inside. Look at all that crap stuffed in all willy-nilly (to sound...

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Friday, November 16, 2012
$33.96 from Amazon »

Boy do I miss the days of my youth. The days of emerging victorious from head-butting battles with rhinoceroses, claiming their horns as trophies, and, after gnawing out the marrow inside, filling them with a thick black stout...

Monday, February 11, 2013
$99 - $999 from DomeCandy »

What's this? A circa 1968 suitcase and a set of Sony speakers turned into a portable stereo? Aw, Granny, good job! You made a ghetto blaster! And I thought our Merle Haggard Mondays and Tupac Tuesdays couldn't get any better....

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

When speaking of our health, of preventing the ingestion of fecal matter thrust into the air during the toilet flushing process, is there really a need to mince words? Beat around the bush? Employ euphemisms? Woodpecker Laboratories...

Monday, August 12, 2013
$29.99 from Amazon »

Ladies, I dare anyone to try to rip you off or cut up your credit cards or even look at you in a way you do not find pleasing when you're carrying one of these babies. From the butcher's block to the sewing machine, nothing...

Monday, September 19, 2011

These little guys remind me of the characters in the movie 9. This collaboration is pretty cool and comes with a back story and a rabid internet fan base. Each "squadt" can stand alone, or form a part of a large collection....

Thursday, August 22, 2013
$14,995 from Amazon »

I know what you're thinking. If I'm going to buy an original Ghostbusters 2 jumpsuit instead of paying my mortgage this year, it better at least be the one worn by Peter Venkman. Yeah, touche. On the one hand, Dr. Egon Spangler's...

Thursday, August 30, 2012
$9.67 from Amazon »

Now that the kiddos are back in school, wouldn't it be fun one day when they come home to surprise them with wall-to-wall chalkboards in their bedrooms? Chalkboards you have covered in times tables, Spanish verb conjugations...

Sunday, December 9, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

iPood. The onesie that states the obvious, perpetual reality for chilluns between the ages of 6 and 18 months old. And instead of a button for blasting its volume, the iPood comes with a button that aids kiddos in blasting...

Saturday, August 20, 2011
$20 from Amazon »

It's been a while since I've done an ice block shot. Too long. This seems like a really good housewarming gift. Tell me you're not gonna be the life of the party if you show up with this thing. And come solo because you're...