A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Sunday, February 9, 2014
$90.99 from Amazon »

One Bounty Hunter metal detector packed and ready to head to Ft. Lauderdale with me next week. I plan to use the gold teeth I find to fund a down payment on the Bitcoin mining operation I'm working on setting up in Detroit....

Friday, May 16, 2014
$30.87 from Amazon »

Don't worry. The makers of the Giant Cockroach assure us that, like sexy time toys and weight loss pills, your 6-foot-tall, 40-inch-wide pool float crafted in the image of the country's most reviled vermin will ship in a plain...

Sunday, August 11, 2013
$115 - $335 from Etsy »

Land shark! Or at least the scariest part of the shark now available to tear into human flesh on land. Dane Kealoha's shark tooth weapons style themselves after traditional blades and blunt implements with walloping power, but where one would normally find a sharpened edge or fashioned point of impact, Kealoha has installed a bright white fringe of a cartilaginous fish's shredders....

Thursday, June 5, 2014
$49.95 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Do you like RC toys? Do you like dinking around on your iPhone? Do you like pelting things, such as red Solo cup targets and sleeping housemates' heads, with plastic missiles? Do it all, and simulate the flight of a Cobra...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$11 from Etsy »

While my ideal Bat Key would start the ignition to a Batmobile, I guess one that makes an X on my computer screen will suffice until I raise $620,000 and learn how to drive a stick. Etsy artist Anya's Batman Keyboard Stickers...

Sunday, January 19, 2014
$167.96 from Amazon »

It's pretty simple: your valuables; your safe; your fingerprint. BARSKA's biometric guardian of cash, firearms, last wills and testaments, and treasures you stole from Smaug allows keyless access only to those with the correct genetic code. A fingerprint pad on the safe door recognizes up to 30 different prints, and unlocks instantly when a cleared finger is scanned. In addition, if one day you...

Wednesday, February 20, 2013
$33.64 - $49.97 from Amazon »

It's not that I don't like trees, it's just that sometimes they really piss me off and I feel compelled to take a few swings at them with my powerful axe. I think this serves as an appropriate warning and encourages them to...

Wednesday, March 19, 2014
$49.99 from Amazon »

I decided to spotlight the Darth Vader bathrobe because this morning I got an email from someone named Anastasia Kryzinski entitled, "What Does Your Love Python Need?" I thought it was the best email I ever received, and I...

Saturday, December 1, 2012
$199.99 from Watchismo »

While seemingly morbid and in poor taste at first glance, The Accurate--a Mr. Jones Watch--intends to serve as a reminder of our fleeting seconds, minutes, and hours on earth. Its dial and rim are even mirrored so that when...

Sunday, December 23, 2012
$25k - $35k from ideum »

Ideum's 55" Platform and Pro Touch Tables, carnivals of interactive media suitable for simultaneous use by up to 4 computing people, have just been walloped by the Hammer of Thor in the form of the company's newest advancement...

Thursday, September 1, 2011
Discontinued

An ultra-realistic and functional prawn assault rifle from the movie District 9. Really cool collectors item for enthusiasts and a perfect Halloween costume for someone who likes being encumbered by their Halloween costume...

Bar
Thursday, September 15, 2011
$25 from Chugbeers »

So long beer bong. Pump up to 24 ounces of cold, tasty, inhibition stealing beer down your gullet in less than two seconds with the Bierstick. It's like a 2x multiplier for having fun. You're gonna have fun anyway... why not...

Monday, March 12, 2012
$3.99 from Amazon »

Adopting its name from Mayan lore, the Doomed Skull Shot Glass is here to help you ring in the apocalypse. It won't ward off zombies or cataclysmic solar flares or anthrax-laced rain drops, but it will get you so wasted those...

Saturday, April 19, 2014
$49.99 from Amazon »

As if it weren't amazing enough that there are paper towels so strong that a single quilted sheet can mop up an entire glass of spilt milk someone's crying over. Now these paper towels' holders can charge up to 4 of my smartphones...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013
$650 from Etsy »

I like the idea of the Force being with me, but I also like the idea of stuff. With one of these Star Wars rings I will still be able to envision and harness the power of an intangible Force, but, more importantly, I'll be...

Monday, September 24, 2012
$639.99 from Etsy »

Dragon slaying dudes saw their wicked set of leather armor featured a few months ago, so now, ladies, it's your turn. John McGovern is peddling this handcrafted Dragon Scale Leather Armor to badasses of the female persuasion....

Friday, June 7, 2013
$15.29 from Firebox.com »

Oh the C word. My friends Constantine, Bartholomew, and I all agree it's pretty much the worst in the English language. Definitely the most heinous mud you can sling at someone. Which makes this C U Next Tuesday, or UNT Mug...

Sunday, June 2, 2013
$19.95 - $39.95 from MudJug »

I personally don't dip because I've always thought you have to be a baseball player or type of male who doesn't sob uncontrollably and beg for help from the Baby Jesus upon chewing anything that burns more than a stick of...

Wednesday, October 19, 2011
$149.99 from Demon Bells »

Just in case the implications of heaving a 72-pound concentrated mass of steel back and forth near your head doesn't scare you enough, DemonBells have added the creepy faces you see in your nightmares to the mix....

Sunday, February 16, 2014
$80 from Snurk »

Not much of a lake snoozer? How about sleeping in a swimming pool? Snurk's pool bedsheets add a second option to spending the night enveloped in a large body of water without drowning. Fun! Trippy! Still horrendously scary...

Thursday, June 13, 2013

It's about damn time the crap my mama sets out around my (fine, her) house and calls "art" also possesses the ability to charge my phone and iPad. O'Dea Designs' Concrete Charger is the first in their forthcoming series of...

Bar
Saturday, September 14, 2013
$171 from Etsy »

A set of 5 beer glasses, each of which has been crafted explicitly to cater to the nuances of a particular style of beer, is kind of pretentious and off-putting, right? But what if the set also came with a sense of self-awareness...

Sunday, February 17, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Betta fish have all the luck. They enjoy a completely acceptable sedentary lifestyle of floating and feeding, they never have to share their personal space with other fish, and now, thanks to Rob Young and Denny Curtis of...

Thursday, July 5, 2012
$25 from Etsy »

These patriots heard the battle cry of Team America, and hollered back an even louder Fuck Yeah! From Paul Revere's Midnight Ride on a Tron Light Cycle to Abe Lincoln wielding an M16 and giddy-upping on a grizzly bear to George...

Monday, February 17, 2014

Under normal circumstances, my tongue wouldn't be the first place I'd pick to be spanked. But seeing as Tonguespank Spices are coating their lashings in flavors like Garlic Grappa and Scorpion Bourbon, I guess I'd be OK with...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Wow. It's a wonder that Gregoire de Laforrest's Cage Archibird can be so stunningly beautiful, yet also so stunningly the antithesis of sanitation. A bird cage built into a functional table? A table that looks primed and ready...

Thursday, October 17, 2013
$210.28 from Amazon »

Hmmm, does my desire not to wash dishes by hand supersede my desire to microwave Hot Pockets? It's not even a rhetorical question. Even though SPT's countertop dishwasher says it will fit beneath most kitchen cabinetry, it's...

Sunday, May 26, 2013
$179 - $279 from Vachen »

One watch, over a hundred different faces--interchangeable at the flick of a finger. Reminds me of this bipolar chick I used to date...I sure hope the Vachen Smartwatch doesn't come with an I'm-gonna-bludgeon-you-with-my-F'd...

Sunday, March 30, 2014
$7.73 from Amazon »

Well, Star Wars: Jedi Academy doesn't come in a sweet mechanical vault or reveal ancient secrets of the Jedi discipline like The Jedi Path, but I bet it will be an easier purchase to share with your kids. I mean that in the...

Thursday, January 10, 2013
$399.99 from QSTO »

With only 6 days remaining in its Kickstarter campaign, and less than 25% of its $25,000 funding goal achieved, it doesn't seem that the Suzak chair will find success in its run for public funding, but I hope creators Jose...

Sunday, May 19, 2013
$29.93 from Amazon »

Sick of hearing about the Zombie Apocalypse? Me too. I'm also sick of hearing about how pretty soon my mama's going to kick me out of her house and stop paying for my cell phone bill and all of my chips and cereal, thus forcing...

Thursday, January 17, 2013
$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

My 12-year-old nephew plays Minecraft all day long. I'm not exaggerating. I got him a lime green Minecraft Creeper Beanie for Christmas. So that if he ever decides to stop playing Minecraft and go outside his ears won't be...

Thursday, May 23, 2013
$500 from Etsy »

Ways to maintain popularity and credibility over the course of 20 years in the music industry: 1) Keep making good music; 2) Wear badass LED costumes from the future. Mauricio Santoro pays homage to the Thomas half of the...

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

She's just been let loose to wreak havoc and revenge in Batman: Arkham City. Harley Quinn's equally deadly next stop? Ladies' legs. And this time, her weapon of choice is an explosive cocktail of Polyester and Spandex. Black...

Sunday, June 8, 2014
$96.48 from Amazon »

If this 6' diameter soccer ball were used as the centerpiece of gameplay, the World Cup might elevate itself to a 4 on the 1-to-10 scale of things I'd rather watch than my laptop's screensaver. Let's see you dominate the dribbles...

Wednesday, June 26, 2013
$22 - $24 from Etsy »

The medium is the massage, and the massage is a T-Shirt. A T-Shirt with a railroad play mat and accompanying locomotive, baby! And baby daddies! Becky of bkykid must be the envy of all moms who fancy themselves clever craft...

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

When it comes to pants positioning, waistline aesthetics, and--most importantly--gut comfort, 1/4" can make a huge difference. Traklines banish the meager five, 1"-spaced holes of traditional belts from their full-grain leather...

Thursday, June 5, 2014
$399.95 from Amazon »

Goal Zero's Sherpa 50 Solar Recharging Kit consists of a Sherpa 50 lithium battery power pack and a Nomad 13 solar panel. Depending on weather conditions, it charges fully from solar power in 5 to 10 hours, or from man's harnessing...

Wednesday, May 7, 2014
$7 from Amazon »

I guess they couldn't decide whether people would prefer to skewer their corn with pirate or ninja swords, so they just made a set incorporating both. Alien vs. Predator-style. Pirate vs. Ninja--who would win that battle?...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Discontinued

The bearded beanie is a perfect way to keep your kid warm and make him look like he has a beard. I have a feeling that it is also a great way to torment your kid, give him an itchy face, and possibly have lasting effects on...

Saturday, September 3, 2011

To me (an art expert of the highest respect) this looks like something I would have seen in the movie The Mummy and it makes me feel scared. That's a first rate art critique right there. Tons of cool images in this gallery....

Saturday, June 28, 2014
$19.64 from Amazon »

The Flatev homemade tortilla maker got some grumbles for its cost (likely $300 for the machine and $1 each for the tortilla pods) and true necessity as a kitchen gadget. So here's something way cheaper and probably way more...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013
$435 from Hovding »

The Swedish Hovding has a lofty goal: un-dorkify bicycle helmets without compromising their ability to keep bicycle riders un-dead. With claims of being one of the market's safest helmets, Hovding trades in the foam-filled...

Monday, January 7, 2013
$235 - $260 from GoSt Barefoots »

I suppose calling theses shoes PaleoBarefoots appeals to a wider market, given the current eat-and-function-like-a-caveman craze popularized by the likes of CrossFit and Mark Sisson, but Chainmail Shoes sounds so much cooler....

Thursday, February 14, 2013
$28.49 from Amazon »

Be a hero. Everyone's doing it. And even if they're not contemporary society--particularly the media, and particularly the media talking about celebrities--love throwing that word around and assigning it to people who do little...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013
$40 - $150 from Etsy »

According to the Protestant ethic, grillin' like a villain is better than chillin' like a villain because even though both involve nefarious characters that disobey the law and wreak havoc, grillin' villains work long and...

Saturday, May 3, 2014
$23.97 from Amazon »

Boy do I love cheese. Even though sometimes it gives me gas so sulfurically heinous my mama asks if I'm running a pulp mill in my ass. I just feel like if the choice is pizza & pain or no pizza & a life of sadness, the gagging...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014
$40.90 from Amazon »

Pop-up books are ageless. Genderless, raceless, and religious and political persuasionless too. In fact, I think the only people on earth who might possibly not like pop-up books are the blind. And maybe the sighted who have...

Thursday, May 1, 2014
$49 - $69 from Grush »

A gaming toothbrush for kids? Do we really have to go to lengths of Grush proportions, pandering to our insolent children's every inclination, in order to get them to do what they should simply by virtue of our saying, Hey...

Sunday, November 10, 2013
$46.76 from Amazon »

Cats, dogs, paparazzi, neighbor children without the athletic skill to control their damn soccer balls--these are the pests that infiltrate our back yards. Encroach our private domains. Stick their noses where they don't belong....

Tuesday, March 27, 2012
$100k from Martin Jetpack »

The 2012 Martin Jetpack represents 30 years of research and development, a dozen or so prototypes tweaked and tested to sustain 30+ minutes of flight time at 63 mph, and over 4 long years of agonizing anticipation for the...

Thursday, July 25, 2013
$3,065 - $6,131 from Surface Tension »

Previously we witnessed the introduction of fine craftsman furniture to the old school Nintendo controller. Now we see tastefully worked walnut and oak incorporated into full-on coffee table arcades and PCs. Surface Tension...

Tuesday, March 5, 2013
$99 - $119 from Amiigo »

What if you had a tiny device to track your reps, sets, duration, speed, and intensity? Would you work out more? Would you work out harder? Yeah, me neither, but I'd use it to barter with a strong, fit person who actually...

Friday, February 1, 2013
$67,500 from Carbon Fiber Gear »

If they were going put the effort into creating a bathtub out of airplane and race car materials, couldn't they have made it look like an airplane or race car? Not that I wouldn't still clamor to spend some QT in Corcel's...

Friday, June 28, 2013
$11.50 - $44.09 from Amazon »

I really can't hear the word "mystical" anymore without thinking of Mystikal and his inexplicable squawking of that song about shaking things but watching yourself, but I can look at this Mystical Fire colorant that turns...

Sunday, October 6, 2013
$1,130 from QS Supplies »

It's like...Kraken meets...car wash. Though Vado's adjustable shower head sculpture is missing the 2 arms that would elevate it to true octo status, 5 minutes behind the curtain flipping and pointing this spraying beast and...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013
$9.83 from Amazon »

One reviewer notes that Introductory Calculus for Infants reads exactly as advertised, except that it won't teach your baby--or you--how to do calculus. She goes on to opine that all who actually expect a children's book to...

Thursday, August 25, 2011
By: Blogspot

If they're gonna make us wear helmets when we ride our bikes, then we might as well make a powerful fashion statement while following their rules. Enter the R2D2 helmet. Girl has some skills. Pretty cute too....

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Giveaway: Rhino Shield Screen Protectors 75
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Enter to win your choice of any 2 Rhino Shield impenetrable screen protectors, courtesy of Dude and Rhino Shield creators, Evolutive Labs (up to an $80 value). The Shields have been fabricated to fit and protect smartphones...

Tuesday, October 2, 2012
$12.46 from Amazon »

Shots. In addition to proving (or destroying) your manhood, they are also the best way to clear out random bottles of crème de cacao, orange bitters, and Lillet Blanc from the back of your liquor cabinet. Seattle mixologist...

Wednesday, October 2, 2013
$10.08 from Amazon »

Even if I weren't a gambling man I would like the 50/50 Savings Bank because every day it would remind me of Plinko, my favorite Price Is Right game, and also Bob Barker, my favorite game show host and general hero of life....

Wednesday, September 11, 2013
$1.03 million from Porsche »

Porsche has entered the hybrid market with its 918 Spyder: progressive or a bunch of pomp and circumstance? I mean, sure, it's time for all car makers to contribute to the trek towards alternative vehicle fueling, but the...

Wednesday, January 8, 2014
$44.99 from ThinkGeek »

Doctor Who's time-traveling spacecraft TARDIS has a new assignment: hold your soaps, shampoos, razors, and other grooming gear so they don't litter up or fall off the ledges of your shower. Despite the looks of it, the TARDIS...

Monday, June 3, 2013

1, 2, Freddy's comin' for you. 3, 4 better lock the door. 5, 6 get a crucifix.... My sister let me watch A Nightmare on Elm Street when I was 5 and I think it made me wet the bed in fear every night for like 3 months, and...

Saturday, September 17, 2011
$75 million from Luxury Real Estate »

Maybe the most classically beautiful and inspired piece of real estate currently for sale in measurable spatial dimensions. An absolute knockout, and so innocent looking! Five shiny Sacajawea dollars say this PYT from Malibu...

Wednesday, June 18, 2014
$19.99 from Amazon »

Over 3,200 Amazon reviewers are eager to share their experiences with Belkin's SurgePlus, a wall-mounted surge protector with 6 outlets and 2 USB ports. Over 3,200! And they give it an average rating of 4 stars! That's quite...

Monday, April 9, 2012
$59.95 - $69.95 from Prong »

Even as a stubbornly loyal flip phone user, I am overtaken by the brilliance of PocketPlug, a high grade polycarbonate iPhone case with a fully-integrated, retractable charger. And I hear the iPhone's battery power leaves...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
$14.95 from Amazon »

The Cool Blue Light Experiment Kit teaches inquisitive minds about chemiluminescence and the rest of us how to make our arms glow without killing and dismembering a firefly. Weee! Using copper sulfate, perborate, and luminol...