A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, March 27, 2014
$16.75 from Amazon »

Last week I showed you how you can protect your banana. So now it's time to explore how your banana can protect you....

Saturday, August 24, 2013
$12.99 from Perpetual Kid »

I love how, along with depicting the unsavory image of a fat person spilling out of his jeans in a way that still makes me want to take a big bite out of his moist and caky excess fat, these muffin top molds also stay true...

Friday, January 13, 2012
$100 from Amazon »

It appears the progeny of Thomas Edison and Guglielmo Marconi fell in love--or at least had a one-night stand--somewhere along the genetic line. GiiNii combines the best of being able to see with the best of being able to hear in its AudioBulb, an LED light bulb with built-in speaker. The bulb is compatible with any light socket or lamp, and the speaker with most audio devices, including iPods...

Sunday, February 2, 2014
$39.99 from Amazon »

Better be extra cautious devouring those 3 dozen inferno wings today. With all the accompanying excitement and beer, there is at least a 40% chance of inhaling bone, and about the same chance no one is going to notice or heed...

Tuesday, June 26, 2012
$64.98 from Amazon »

Even though I would prefer not to get hit by a car, I still have trouble getting stoked about wearing and using reflective devices. Bike lights break or get stolen, patches only work when other lights are around to bounce...

Saturday, August 17, 2013
$27 - $57 from gnov8 »

Hold it like a pen, use it like a mouse, make the stuff you draw on your computer look less like it was birthed by the hand of someone who just chased a triple espresso macchiato with a Red Bull. Gordon Stewart designed the gStick to add a more authentic and natural feel to artistic manipulations on both Macs and PCs. Wireless and pocket-sized, gStick invites users to sketch, edit photos and videos...

Thursday, May 16, 2013
Discontinued

My mama says this sloth ring reminds her of me, and although I'm not exactly sure what that means, based on my extensive knowledge of the movie Seven, which I discussed at great length over beers with an abnormally high ABV...

Tuesday, July 16, 2013
$117.60 from Garrett Wade »

Anyone else snicker at the Super-Penetration Shovel's name? Come on, we're all intelligent adults here and, as such, know that the most popular application for the word "penetration" does not involve unruly terrain in the...

Sunday, September 11, 2011
$13.99 from Amazon »

For the people who hope for unrealistic things dreamers among us, this cool little light machine sits on just about any flat surface and sends a rainbow flying across your room. Pot of gold sold separately....

Wednesday, December 7, 2011
By: GNR 8

Natural sunlight is overrated, but slatted blinds and electroluminescent lighting are even more badass than their hype. Cash in on coolness, and brighten up your basement apartment or 10 x 15 cubicle with this simulated window....

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012
$35.99 from Amazon »

Dorm rooms, office kitchenettes, and Manhattan apartments rejoice! The Hat Trick Breakfast Station combines three necessities of morningtime life--coffee, toast, and eggs--into one compact gadget no bigger than a standard...

Monday, October 28, 2013
$139 from Ledge Pants »

While my immediate concern upon spilling an entire cup of coffee on my crotch is searing the hair off my balls and neutralizing my baby-making potential, once I stop screaming and have received a pudding pop to console me...

Saturday, August 20, 2011
Discontinued

I don't even know how to describe this. I think it's both the scariest and coolest thing I've seen all week. It's like a combination of Star Wars and Mad Max. I can here my mom already, "Why do you want something like that?"....

Sunday, September 16, 2012
$81,065 from Firebox.com »

Interdisciplinary exercises combine two or more distinct areas of study, and present them as one cohesive whole. In a world-class display of interdisciplinary art, The Talking Periodic Table of Swearing endeavors to entwine...

Thursday, July 12, 2012
$94.91 from Amazon »

Anecdotally, I would describe the LARK Silent Alarm Clock & Sleep Sensor as analogous to the paradigm of getting the boss man to implement your Big Idea by convincing him he thought of it himself. Combining subtle vibration...

Saturday, June 1, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

The robotic fish provide ambient light in a pool while swimming autonomously. They look cool. I'd prefer it if they don't touch me with their exotically-hued lionfishy spikes though. It's like when I'm at a bar and some strange...

Tuesday, November 29, 2011
$32.90 from Amazon »

Win the favor of Daenerys Targaryen AND cover up the smell of weed in your bedroom with this Gothic dragon incense box. The smoke wafts from his nostrils and, when placed near papers or articles of clothing, he will breathe...

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Designed to be worn for any casual summertime activity, Lacrosse Playground's Convertible Shorts appear to be a normal pair of tea partaying men's fashion. When dry. But knock their wearer in the pool right after he comments...

Friday, February 1, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

A swig here, a puff there, a puff here, a Chug! Chug! Chug! there. And none of those big globe or skull ice cubes to get in your way of downing the whiskey when it's flowing freely from this 2-in-1 flask and cigar holder either....

Saturday, September 10, 2011
$16.50 from Gents Supply Co. »

In a world where all people are treated a equals (except women and minorities and dwarfs and handicapped people) we approach a time where we need everything to be equal. No card gets special treatment. They all must look exactly...

Monday, October 14, 2013
$73 - $128 from Etsy »

Sterling silver, copper, and the aura of someone up to no good. Maybe a psycho chef. A sociopathic sadist. Your mom. (Zing! It's like Patrick Stewart. It never gets old.) Those are the primary components of jewelry shop Arrok's...

Wednesday, April 24, 2013
$299 - $1,999 from i'm Smart »

In 5 words or less: Italian-made Android wrist candy. i'm Watch pours smartphone functionality--from calls to texts to calendars to apps--into a sleek personal effect forged from your choice of aluminum, titanium, gold, or...

Wednesday, January 2, 2013
$25 - $45 from Etsy »

Felicia of MoodLights created her trippy projection bulbs almost two decades ago in a sweeping display of necessity serving as mother of invention. After her parents denied a plea to paint a mural on her bedroom walls, she...

Friday, July 5, 2013
$29.99 from Jamboo Headphones »

Rock out with your co...nscientious bamboo and thread headphones out. Jamboo headphones add eco-friendly materials and stylized flair to what has become a fixture dangling from the ears of many a cool kid on campus, at the...

Tuesday, February 5, 2013
By: Behance

I'm not really sure what the point of Pinokio the robotic desk lamp is. Like, I'm not even sure he lights up or provides any practical desktop service at all. But look how cute. He's like a cautiously inquisitive little kid...

Thursday, May 17, 2012
$28 from Etsy »

Time Machine Jewelry interprets TARDIS approaching the Untempered Schism in this steampunk-esque pendant hanging from a 20" chain. Stare into the hypnotizing movement and gears of its vintage silver and gold pocket watches...

Saturday, May 5, 2012
Discontinued

Could there be a more practical application for Star Wars action figures? I mean, aside from figuring out how to animate them, and building an army to storm the George Lucas compound? James Chillcott's mixed media coffee table...

Wednesday, March 20, 2013
$249 - $349 from Cube Sensors »

One of the main things about CubeSensors is that they are unobtrusive and not hideously ugly. So when you're geeking out using them to tell you how indoor temperatures and air quality are affecting your sleep, or when you're...

Sunday, September 1, 2013
$1,650 - $1,750 from Squirrel »

Skydiving, BASE jumping, walking down the street: success in these extreme adventures isn't so much about having skills and balls as it is about having the right gear. For example, when I walk down the street, I just make...

Tuesday, April 24, 2012
$140 from Armourgeddon »

Who wants to come out and play with me, my paintball guns, and my colossal FV432 Armored Personnel Carrier? Armourgeddon, based out of Leicestershire, England (sorry, US of A) hosts extreme paintball experiences headlined...

Saturday, January 26, 2013
$119 from Gyrobike »

Anyone who's tried to teach a kid to ride a bike without training wheels knows that teaching a kid to ride a bike without training wheels is kind of a pain in the ass. First of all, they have trouble following simple instructions...

Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Forget dipping bread and fruit, I'm just going to melt and drink entire cups of Velveeta and Bacon Chocolate Bars with my Fondue Mug set. Geez, this is handy. Melting that stuff in the microwave makes it all lumpy and burnt...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013
$49.95 from Kitchen Safe »

David Krippendorf invented the Kitchen Safe first to help himself avert caving to unhealthy snack cravings. Usage of the 3-1/2 quart timed lock box soon evolved into housing TV and video game controllers, cigarettes and liquor...

Wednesday, December 14, 2011
$40.19 from Firebox.com »

Twenty four cans of Homer's favorite pastime will have you snoring in your La-Z-Boy before midnight. These aren't just cans that say Duff Beer on them with soda inside either. They have actual alcohol in them. German lager...

Monday, June 4, 2012
$24.38 from Amazon »

Product literature describes the Magical Unicorn Mask, a whole-head extravaganza of latex, as "vaguely disturbing." Uh, vaguely? For me, a mythical creature whose facial expression sort of makes it look like it's being sodomized...

Monday, August 20, 2012
Discontinued

David Vigil of Vigilante Leather (oh, the fortuity some people have with their given names!) has hand tooled a replica of Nathan Drake's leather gun holster from Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception that not only looks as dope and...

Thursday, May 17, 2012
$6.64 from Ben & Jerry »

Three things. One: I subscribe to the unwavering dogma that ice cream is mankind's greatest culinary invention. Two: I don't share food. Three: Avengers and iProducts be damned. Ben & Jerry's pint lock is the most anticipated...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014
$4.43 from Amazon »

Oompa Loompas don't need brooms, they use Illoom Balloons to zoom o'er the moon....

Sunday, April 15, 2012
$7,950 from Etsy »

Ready, aim...fire up the grill! What kind of meat are you packin'? BBQ with a bang. Ribs that will knock 'em dead. Your shot at culinary perfection. A stallion in the bedroom, a Colt .45 on the grill. Anyone else? Contributions...

Thursday, April 4, 2013
$400 from Etsy »

Personally, I'd be opposed to cuddling with one of these Creeper SOBs, but maybe Minecraft fans who have better reconciled the differences between pixelated computer screen graphics and real life will appreciate the whimsy...

Saturday, March 1, 2014
$69.99 from Amazon »

The Dump & Punch. That's a better name than Blend and Cook for Cuisinart's soup-making blender. Because if their literature is to be trusted, all I'd need do to enjoy a vat of steaming cream of tomato is dump in some cream...

Friday, April 27, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Key storage turns epic with a little help from The Legend of Zelda and April Iverson's handpainted key hook. The item is made to order with a standard single hook, but if you're feeling particularly Triforceful, you can request...

Tuesday, July 9, 2013
$9.79 from Amazon »

I chose a pug to help convey the meaning of this Stop Eating Poop remedy for dogs because pugs both mow on their own turds and suck in general. OK listen. I love all nature's creatures. Mostly the human women kind, but all...

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Sometimes people make things such as cookies that are supposed to look like fingers, and sometimes I see a carrot or parsnip in the store that sort of looks like a gnarled witch finger, but never before this set of finger...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013
$56.95 - $99.99 from Amazon »

Even secured inside a Pacsafe, I'm not sure I'd tie my backpack up to, say, a bike rack or a telephone pole and take off on a tour of Prague luggage-free for the afternoon, but I do approve of the eXomesh-cage-and-lock approach...

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Thursday, November 7, 2013
$221.73 from Amazon »

I used to be secretly jealous of those incubators that pop out icy cold shots of Jagermeister. Then they all got replaced by incubators that pop out icy cold shots of Fireball. So now I'm jealous of Fireball chillers. At least...

Friday, June 8, 2012
$30 from Photo Jojo »

I like pretty colors as much as the next guy, but the effort and precision required to apply a keyboard skin hasn't really struck me as remotely worth it in any way up to this point. Photojojo, though, has found my soft spot....

Sunday, November 11, 2012
$3.99 from Amazon »

How many things are there not to like about spit balls that glow in the dark, cost under $5, grow to 200 times their starting size when soaked in water...or, you know, spit...and explode upon target impact? Zero. Zero things...

Saturday, May 5, 2012
$160,060 from Arrinera Automotive »

In the grand tradition of comparing cars to women, the Arrinera supercar is like your mom. Dynamic, powerful, programmed to watch your back, classy with very expensive tastes, but...sorry...still available for purchase and...

Saturday, May 25, 2013
$39.99 from Baconery »

And you thought there was only one way to eat, and then shit, gold. The Baconery's slightly more affordable, 23-karat version of the edible precious metal might even trump Tobias Wong and J.A.R.K.'s pills, as it adds two additional...

Monday, February 6, 2012
$129.95 from Amazon »

No gas, no juice, no problem. Reserve BioLite's petrochemical-free CampStove and USB device charger now, and be burning hot with full battery power in time for the 2012 season of backpacking, camping, and chillin' hermit-like...

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Obviously I like this chess set because most of its pieces appear to have leapt right out of my VHS cassette of Beetlejuice, one of the best 80s movies ever, as evidenced by the fact that I am saying so right now. I sure hope...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Giveaway: HooToo TripMate Wireless Travel Router 54
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
$49.99 from Amazon »

Enter to win a HooToo Tripmate and turn your wired network wireless on the go for Internet access by multiple devices, file sharing, and, when batteries get low, a backup power bank. Read on to learn more about the portable...

Thursday, April 18, 2013
$17.10 from Amazon »

The Big Black Book of Very Dirty Words includes a fair number of terms I would use in my grandma's presence. "Auxter", an Irish/Scottish slang term for armpit. "Apples", meaning breasts. "All that and a bag of chips", a phrase...

Friday, November 15, 2013
$37.90 from Etsy »

Obviously all women who carry a pug bag are certifiably crazy, but I think it should also be a rule of logic that all certifiably crazy women carry a pug bag. You know, as demarcation. So that we're fairly warned before we...

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

A few months ago, we featured Charles Lushear's reinvention of the cheap plastic, old-school NES controller into the rich, interwoven woods of his terrifically classy Working Nintendo Controller Coffee Table (and then we gave...

Wednesday, August 14, 2013
$25 from Etsy »

I like designating what's mine and what's yours, particularly when what's mine is bigger/better/faster/closer to the front/equipped with a hot tub. Eugenie2's pillowcases are a terrific example of and flawless conformance...

Sunday, February 10, 2013
$35 from Etsy »

If given the choice between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Bra and Miss Pamela's Ninja Turtles beanie, most men would probably choose the beanie for themselves and the bra for all ladies. But not me. I would choose the beanie...

Monday, November 5, 2012
By: Youtube

Electrical engineer Brian Egenriether designed a machine to sort Skittles so that I can have all the red ones, and no one ever has to eat the disgusting green ones again. While Skittles umbrella corporation, Mars, Inc., has...

Wednesday, April 4, 2012
$84.95 from TAT7 »

The iPhone SCUBA Case: Impenetrable like your psyche, yet accessible like your heart. TAT7 has developed this bruiser of an outer shell to protect iPhone 4/4S models to a dive depth of 100 feet, while allowing user access...

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

With one of the group's largest ratios of brain-to-body size, they say the cuttlefish is among the smartest of all invertebrates. So I guess it is well-suited to the task of cracking open my microbrews and bottles of craft...

Wednesday, July 25, 2012
$39.49 from Amazon »

Father-son lightsaber battles over Kung Pao chicken are about to get the LED treatment. Original lightsaber chopstick fabricator Kotobukiya continues its journey through their Galactic Republic of Replica Awesomeness with...

Friday, November 2, 2012
$24.32 from Amazon »

Which came first, the Weston Jerky Gun or the Sushi Bazooka? Squirted meat or squirted fish and rice? Conundrum, conundrum, we may never know. But, praise be to Zeus, like chickens and eggs, my stomach approves with fervor...

Monday, August 22, 2011
Discontinued

If I were a normal 16 year old 8 year old out trick or treating and I walked up to a door and this thing started moving, I might crap my drawers.... and I haven't done that since college. Checkout the video on the product...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
$6.95 from Etsy »

When I was in college I worked in food service for 5 years, during which time I smoked a lot of weed and touched a lot of nasty shit. Like I regularly had to stick my hand down garbage disposals clogged with half-eaten pancakes...

Saturday, May 26, 2012
$31.19 from Amazon »

Will you name the fire breather coiled around your ear Viserion, Rhaegal, or Drogon? Add a little Daenerys Targaryen to your wardrobe with a menacing, yet somehow cuddly-loooking Dragon Wrap Earring. Its tail extends through...

Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$39 from Topatoco »

Brandon Bird created this Squid Flame hoodie, a clever piece of gear for all the fans of fantastical sea beasts and marine biologists out there. It is unclear, though, if Bird or someone on online retailer Topatoco's payroll...

Thursday, April 4, 2013
$13.12 - $29.95 from Amazon »

Cleated feet rejoice. Cleatskins eliminate the need to take your shoes off or get yelled at for clacking and scratching the hardwood floor every time you leave the field, track, or pedal. Also, they deliver traction that guards...