Periodic Tableware

$18 - $85 from PT Ware »

Periodic Tableware is one reason why people invent new words. Like "mud-licious" and "puddle-wonderful" and, most appropriate to this case, "geektastic." This collection of scientific glassware transformed into vessels...

The Scrubba Wash Bag

$49.95 from Amazon »

When I see the word "Scrubba" all I can think of is my Uncle Orville. Gettin' all hot and ornery with my cousin Stoobie when we were kids and he refused to take a bath. "You grimy ground crawler," he'd yell, "if you don't...

Glitch Playing Cards

$14.95 from Amazon »

Glitch: "An electrical pulse of short duration that is usually the result of a fault or design error, particularly in a digital circuit." That's a pretty good way to put it. Thank you, Wikipedia (yes, I donate regularly.)...

Pointie Tactical Marker

$20 - $25 from indiegogo »

The Pointie. A "tactical marker" in name, but we both know what that's a euphemism for: stabbing things. Like glass during rescues. Warthogs during attacks. And whiteboards. Insolent, misbehavin' whiteboards....

Equil Smartpen

Want to digitally immortalize your Best Ever Iron Man sketch? (Or, in my case, boobie doodles?) The Equil Smartpen 1 turns drawings done by hand into editable digital copies that can be stored and revisited ad infinitum...

Soundhawk Smart Hearing Amplifier

Sold Out from Amazon »

It might look like just another Bluetooth earpiece, but the Soundhawk is definitely not just another Bluetooth earpiece. In fact, though it can serve as one, the Soundhawk isn't really a Bluetooth earpiece at all. But...

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Matador Pocket Blanket

$24.99 from Amazon »

Good news! We are now 75% through with winter! I mean, probably. I mostly just made that number up, but it sounds about right. Spring comes in March doesn't it? (At least for those of us who didn't anger God by cheating...

Norrom Freshwater Aquarium

$450 - $490 from Norrom »

Designed in Sweden, made in the UK. That's the crux of what Norrom feels sets its forthcoming aquarium apart from all the other fish cribs out there. Using contemporary techniques and tasteful aesthetics, the company's...

TravelCard Micro-USB Wallet-Size Charger

Wallets' job description just keeps on growing. What used to be no more than a suitcase for cash and photos of your kids has now been tasked with carrying everything from credit and fro yo frequent patron cards to custom-fitted...

RAVPower FileHub - The Data Multi-Tool

$89.99 from Amazon »

The RAVPower FileHub is like the Hugh Jackman of data tools. Not only can it act, and look like a superhuman freak of nature whose muscles grow muscles, and talk in an Australian accent that makes every woman want to...

An Illustrated Book of Bad Arguments

$9.11 from Amazon »

Know what they say? If you're arguing with an idiot, make sure he isn't doing the same thing. Know who heeds that advice? Almost no one engaging in an argument on the Internet. But author Ali Almossawi has decided to...

Back to the Future DeLorean iPhone 6 Case

$50 from Bandai »

Like the Crazy Case Batmobile, Bandai's Back to the Future II DeLorean case for the iPhone 6 is forthcoming. And while it would be a grand and poetic gesture for the Japanese toy company to set their lit-up, pimped-out...

Skull Hard Boiled Egg Mold

$7.23 from Amazon »

I think the best ad campaign of all time might be The Incredible Edible Egg. Not only because it rhymes, which is always the best way to present something, and is about food, which is always the best thing for something...

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The Man Mystery Box

Giveaway: The Man Mystery Box

"The Man," as in this Mystery Box is stuffed with over $500 worth of gear coveted by the XY sex, and also "The Man," as in that's what owning the stuff in this box will make you. Click here and enter to win Dude's The...

Popcorn Monsoon

One thing that would make Jolene Carlier's Popcorn Monsoon better is if all the popped kernels actually landed in the bowl when they dropped out of the bottom of the machine's Mario pipe. But since the invention is still...

Handmade Wood & Aluminum USB Charger

$38.99 from Amazon »

BREAKING NEWS: Boutique Design Meets Charging Powerhouse! Also, Thundersnow! in Boston! Dude, this weekend just keeps getting trippier. First all the dead flowers and rotting meat I got from my ex for Valentine's Day...

Pancake Pen

$9.99 from Amazon »

I know I'm ur sunshine, Mama. You don't have to make me pancakes that spell it out for...no, wait! But I mean, since you're already almost finished with them anyway, you should probably just keep going. Mmmm, we have...

Fifty Farts Playing Cards

$7.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Smells like a fun night of Texas Hold 'Em! The Fifty Farts deck of cards "serves as a taxonomy of the rectal expulsion of gas byproducts of the mammalian digestive process." Just like my own body after a 3-course dinner...

Portable Bug-Free Hammock

$90 from Amazon »

One thing that sucks about camping...no, the outdoors...no, life...is bugs. Really all bugs, but mostly mosquitoes and those godforsaken devil's minions of the insect world, no-see-ums. Those F'ers. They skulk around...

Atmos Thermo Vaporizer Kit

$34.99 from AtmosRx »

AtmosRX knows that a really good vaporizer won't just get you high, it will get you high on the go. Their pocket-sized Thermo DW was designed with a ceramic cartridge small enough for heating dry herbs and waxy oils discreetly...

Life-Size Furniture Erector Set

Now that you've mastered the crane erector set, how about using these life-size assembly parts, plus whatever imagination and elbow grease you can muster up, to craft yourself a table to display it on? French company...

Zip Mini Touch-n-Go Charging Station

The Zip Mini charges up to 4 devices at once using the power of [cue James Earl Jones voice over] MAGNETS....

Skyscraper Stalaclights

Stalaclights. I wonder which came first: David Graas' intricate, 3D-printed hanging skyscraper bulb shades or his indubitably clever parody of a name for them. The skyscrapers give the appearance of growing directly from...

Star Wars Headphones

$87.99 - $129.99 from Amazon »

Who from a galaxy far, far away best represents your tastes in jams? In this corner, it's me, Vader, and Ariana Grande, all minxy and Sith-like, for sure. But if you're more Taylor Swift pure, committed to doing what's...

Skull Shaver

$133 from Amazon »

To raze or not to raze, that is the balding man's question. And thankfully it's one my lush bonsai tree of locks and I will never have to answer. But for the Thinners and Receders out there, plus anyone who just digs...

First 24 Survival Kit

$1,499 from Taurus »

I hope our current obsession with survival gear and bug out bags and general disaster preparedness means we're not actually going to have to face the collapse of the world in the near future. Because when it comes to...

Quirky BBQ Bundle

$69 from Quirky »

Inventors' site Quirky has a set of tools here to appease the visions of grilling season dancing in your head. As usual, the site's spins on traditional BBQ gear seek to expand and improve upon the basics--give them a...

Titanium Spork

$9.94 from Amazon »

The Tater Twister came and went. So did the Salad Shooter. The electric knife. The electric can opener (my mama had one of those!) But the spork, the spork will never fall into oblivion. One of our country's finest examples...

Dovo Classic Straight Razor

$115.99 - $123 from Amazon »

Dovo Steelware was founded in Solingen, Germany around 1906, and began producing implements of male face grooming in the 1930s. Nearly 100 years later the company is still supporting and still forging its classic straight-edge...

Luna Intelligent Mattress Cover

$199 - $229 from Luna »

Luna describes itself as "the world's first mattress cover that intelligently warms your bed, tracks sleep, and makes your bed smart." And it does it all in 2 minutes. Almost as fast as I myself do things in bed....

MOOV Wearable Fitness Coach

$29.90 from Amazon »

Distance traveled. Calories burned. Those are old hat for fitness trackers anymore. Plus, I don't really go anywhere and exert as little effort as possible, so when I look at these numbers on other wearables they just...

DoctorKote Ballistics Gel Targets

$25 - $35 from Doctor Kote »

While it's complete blasphemy and should be grounds for long-term imprisonment to shoot at R2-D2 and Han Solo (while the poor bastard is frozen in Carbonite!) the Stormtrooper and LEGO man versions of DoctorKote's FBI-grade...

Crime Scene Hot Pot Trivet

$14 from Amazon »

Even in death this victim continues contributing to society, protecting your countertops and tablecloths from scorching. From crime scene to hot pot holder, I think it's fair to call this dude the ultimate giver, and...

Daryl Dixon Zombie Ears Necklace

$111.89 from Amazon »

As Vincent Van Gogh proved 125 years ago, nothing says, "Be My Valentine," like a severed ear. And thanks to the mutational viruses unleashed by modern research, today you don't even have to lop off your own ear for the...

Sesame 2 Auto-Lock Keychain for Mac

$29 from Atama »

When you live life in the fast lane like I do, every hour of your day booked with high-powered business meetings, lunches with the Russians, and cocktails with the Italian swimsuit models, you tend to forget things. The...

Cardsharp4

Discontinued

The Cardsharp4 from Iain Sinclair is the latest generation of his folding metal credit card knife. Originally designed as a last ditch, lightweight surgical knife that's easily disposable, the Cardsharp4 is CNC-machined...

Jabra Solemate Bluetooth Speaker

$90 from Jabra »

Jabra's Solemate brings blaring Dolby sound to the beach. The basement. Poker night. Sexy time. Its battle cry is ultra-portable and ultra-loud, with a trio of front-facing speakers (2 tweeters, 1 woofer) and a proprietary...

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Ellusionist Fire & Sleight Bundle

Giveaway: Ellusionist Fire & Sleight Bundle

Smoke & mirrors? Nope, this magic is fueled by fireballs & firewater. Enter to win the Fire & Sleight Bundle from online masters of the craft, Ellusionist! Giveaway prize includes a Pyro open palm fireshooter, Pyro Flash...

Black Diamond Castle Ring

If you're too humble to claim the entire solar system--including Pluto--revolves around you, project smaller-scale dominance by becoming King of Theo Fennell's Castle Ring. This intricate, hand-crafted medieval fantasy...

Cyalume SnapLight Industrial Light Sticks

$9.99 from Amazon »

I always knew light sticks were good for raves and Midnight Zombie 5Ks, but lookie here: they're also good for providing instant, 360-degree illumination in emergency situations or ultra-dark working conditions. Cyalume...

GoSun Solar Stove

$279 from Amazon »

Why use a stovetop, or even a campfire to cook your pork & beans when you can use an evacuated glass tube? The GoSun Sport heralds itself as the fastest and easiest solar cooker available. Able to reach temperatures over...

Military Prismatic Sighting Compass

$9.91 from Amazon »

I don't think it will do much for blindness, but this Military Prismatic Sighting Compass could be your Amazing Grace for being lost. Features of the camo-printed conquerer of directions include:...

Dragon Stapler

$19.99 from Amazon »

No fire or dagger tail, but this dragon's got teeth that will bind your paper together forever! Muahahaha! He'll also staple your finger if you're not careful. Speaking of which, in junior high my friend Cornelius used...

ChargeTech Portable Power Outlet

$205 from ChargeTech »

ChargeTech takes the trophy for highest crowd-funded battery pack of all time on IndieGoGo. (Yes, there's a trophy for that now. But it's nothing compared to mine for Hardest Trier and First Place for Showing Up and Going...

Shoe Shine Kits

$80 - $180 from Shinekits.com »

Based on Vancouver Island, Canada, Shinekits.com caters to men who appreciate the classics. Straight razors. Suspenders. The pair of leather boots that lasts a lifetime. Their line of shoe shine kits emulates this type...

DIY Inside-Out Hard Boiled Eggs

The Golden Goose has already made famous man's power to scramble an egg in its shell, but what if you want to defy and blaspheme the chicken gods even further? Not only whip and muddle their dead fetuses around inside...

Vodquila

Vodquila. A mix of vodka, tequila, and a first class ticket to a hangover-free Sunday morning. I know they say two wrongs don't make a right and all that crapola, but I don't think that's true for alcohol. Like, I'm pretty...

Jellyfish Hanging Lights

Discontinued

Oh sure, glowing rainbow jellyfish lights dangling from the ceiling are all well and good until someone runs into one and it gets entangled in his left arm, inflicting pain so indescribable he must literally beg his friend...