SCOUT Carbon Paramotor

$8,450 from Amazon »

The SCOUT, a combination of carbon fiber and mandrel bent aluminum, heralds itself the world's most advanced paramotor. I have no reason not to believe it. Not that I'd never seen or heard of any kind of paramotor prior...

Bushnell Digital Night Vision Monocular

$239.99 from Amazon »

Well I know I like that square beam HD flashlight Bushnell makes so I have similarly high hopes for their Equinox Z, a digital night vision monocular with 6x magnification. The after-dark locating and sightseeing device...

LifePrint WiFi Photo Printer

$99 - $125 from LifePrint »

For its price, particularly its Kickstarter price, the LifePrint seems pretty convenient and versatile. Its basic function as a WiFi photo printer for Apple and Android smartphones allows anyone with either a WiFi or...

Blobfish Plush

$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

Snuggle up with God's ugliest creature. It's true. The blobfish wins all the Most Horrific Beast on the Planet contests, and as I've previously mentioned here, I think it might be my curse to be reincarnated as one. Legend...

Banana Holder

$55 from Etsy »

Finally, a literal interpretation we can love as much as the figurative one: it's a banana hammock! Designer Biken even fabricated and hand-finished this one in genuine leather because your banana deserves nothing but...

Sky Lanterns

$11 - $87.32 from Amazon »

Welcome to The Beach. Our waters and sky lanterns are glorious, but mind our sharks and drug lords. These delicate paper fliers, most notably featured in the Leonardo DiCaprio film, are Asian in origin but travel all...

1,500 Live Ladybugs

$19 from Amazon »

You are 1,500 live ladybugs away from an aphid-free garden. Aphids are also known as plant lice. Sick, huh? I mean, I have no clue about plants, but I do know a thing or two about lice (thank you very much Alex from third...

BLOCKS - Customizable Smartwatch

By: blocks »

Like Phonebloks (i.e., Google's Project Ara), the forthcoming BLOCKS smartwatch will encompass an array of detachable modules. Wearers will be able to snap together hardware, sensor, app, and "dummy" (for sizing) BLOCKS...

Darth Vader Bathrobe

$49.99 from Amazon »

I decided to spotlight the Darth Vader bathrobe because this morning I got an email from someone named Anastasia Kryzinski entitled, "What Does Your Love Python Need?" I thought it was the best email I ever received...

Razer Blade 14" Gaming Laptop

$2,199.99 - $2,699.99 from Razer »

Just like the Mach series, this Razer Blade keeps one-upping itself. The company's new 14" gaming laptop improves upon the last generation most notably in the arenas of color, clarity, and control. Razer touts its latest...

How to Live with a Huge Penis

$10.24 from Amazon »

Puberty was a really uncomfortable and difficult time for me. To the point that my mama went out and hired a shrink. At the end of the second session though he put his pen down and said, "Son, you really don't need me....

DIY Internal Combustion Engine

$44.98 from Amazon »

I couldn't feature the time lapse video of a guy constructing this Haynes DIY internal combustion engine because the 225 bpm Looney Tunes music playing throughout his process started giving me heart palpitations after...

Lil Sweetie Cast Iron Stove

$235.27 from Amazon »

The reduction of "Little" to "Lil" normally makes me cringe. It might be second only to shortening words with "y" or "ie", or adding the letters to the end of them. "Sammy" instead of "sandwich" is the worst offense....

35-Mile, 22-Channel Two-Way Radios

$49.58 from Amazon »

Even in a market flooded with the advanced technology of smartphones and swell devices like Iridium's Go Global Hotspot, walkie-talkies persevere. Because, at least for the reigning generation, they maintain one thing...

Bioloid Comprehensive Robot Kit

Sold Out from Amazon »

Though Boston Dynamics sets a very high bar with their spastically brilliant WildCat, Robotis still maintains its Bioloid Comprehensive is "not an average robot kit." And given the pretty penny they're asking for it...

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Kelty Ascender 22 Modular Luggage

Giveaway: Kelty Ascender 22 Modular Luggage

By: Kelty »

Last summer, outdoor commandos Kelty introduced the Ascender series of luggage. Their Ascender 22, a modular traveler's and backpacker's bag with detachable chassis, expands from a 40-liter carry-on size to a 55-liter...

Android RK3188 Mini PC

$79 from Amazon »

I like it when the computer costs only about 2.5 times more than the keyboard they recommend to go with it. The latest in Android's line of mini PCs, the RK3188 serves as an upgrade to the platform's RK3066 model. One...

Srirachup - Sriracha Ketchup

$30 from Sosu Sauces »

I told them this is what would happen if they let the roosters near the tomatoes. The cocks just can't keep it to themselves. And now we have this bastard child. This atrocious, humiliating...awesome-sounding, mouthwatering...

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4D Vision Anatomy Models

$15.18 from Amazon »

Not so scary when you're splayed across my coffee table in 20 detachable organs and body parts, are you Jaws? Ow! F- OK, fine. Teeth still sharp in 13" long 4D model. Shark still mildly intimidating....

ASUS Chromebox Desktop

$199 from Amazon »

With Google's golden child fingerprints all over it, the ASUS Chromebox desktop will surely prove handsomer and smarter and better in every way than any other Web PC that tries to catch your eye. On the surface, it definitely...

Support the Troops Car Decal

Sold Out from Amazon »

Ten cents from every one of these Support the Troops car decals sold will go toward building the next Death Star. Good news for members of the Dark Side. A terrible blow, though, to Jedis and Rebel supporters. Who's going...

Horizontal Shoe Rack

$79.95 from Amazon »

Even though J-Me's horizontal shoe rack doesn't save much more space or prove to be all that different in practice than a normal shelving unit for shoes, I find it's effect exponentially cooler. On its own, the simple...

Survival Seed Vault

$29.95 from Amazon »

It's almost spring! Only...I don't know, however many days until the first day of spring...days away. What am I, a meteorologist? I'm 80% sure it happens sometime this month. And that means it's time to plant your garden....

Marinade-Infusing Meat Tenderizer

You can make all the tender meat jokes you want, but when it comes down to it, you know you like tender meat. I like tender meat. Tender and infused with flavor. Mmmmmm....

Your Face Stamp

$65 - $100 from Stamp Yo Face! »

Haha, all dudes in a relationship are about to get the gift of a rubber couples' stamp. Every envelope, every paper lunch sack, every note to empty the dishwasher and fix the toilet and change the filter in the air conditioner...

Rail-Mounted Pepper Spray

$99 - $249 from Pro-Defense »

Designed originally for law enforcement and military use, Pro-Defense calls their F4 Tactical rail-mounted pepper spray the non-lethal alternative. Which I take to mean getting hit by a solid stream of it is still going...

Liquid-Armor - Nano Tech Screen Protector

$79.99 from Amazon »

If Dynaflo's Liquid-Armor works, here's some happy news for people whose screens ever have unhappy run-ins with keys, rain, and dust particulates. Packaged in a 10 mL bottle (about 50 sprays), Liquid-Armor applies to...

Ring - The Shortcut to Everything

$149.99 from Amazon »

Like FIN, Ring is a wearable input device controlled by gestures and finger movement. Unlike FIN, Ring picked a name inextricably bound to JRR Tolkien and an iconic, highly complimentary line about ruling them all, so...

Horse Head Pillow

$45 from Kropserkel »

One-upping the severed horse head pillowcase: Kropserkel's severed Horse Head Pillow. It's morbid, yet surprisingly plush and comfortable, revenge in 3D! Send one to the vegetarian who always launches into a lecture about...

Star Trek Spock Socks

$9.49 from Amazon »

When I was little Mr. Spock and Dr. Spock were names thrown around on TV and in my household with equal regularity, so for years I thought they were the same person. It seemed only mildly strange that a pointy-eared human-vulcan...

SwingSmart Golf Swing Analyzer

$249.95 from Amazon »

NewSpin Golf hopes their SwingSmart Duo will continue to be a standout amongst the bevy of golf swing analyzers and digital coaches that have emerged with mobile tech and apps. The self-training system pairs a swing sensor...

Diamond Armor - $3.2 Million Bulletproof Suit

$3.2 million from SuitArt »

At $3.2 million, Swiss fashion house SuitArt's Diamond Armor has nabbed the title of Most Expensive Suit in the World. The current title. I will obliterate it next month when I debut my Diamond & Adamantium Armor for...

Pandito Balaclava

$45 from Etsy »

Panda bears have a notoriously low sex drive in captivity. Some of them don't even seem to know how to do it. Zookeepers must spend countless hours showing pandas bear porn and demo videos to light the fire below their...

45 Caliber Gun Key Blank

$8.49 from Amazon »

Sold as a blank, Schlage Lock Company's 45 caliber pistol key cuts to fully loaded and ready to fire up the car, blast open the front door, or shoot up the lid to the porn stash and secret cell phone your wife believes...

Body Mint Internal Deodorant Pills

$21.60 from Amazon »

I can't guarantee you'll get laid if you don't smell like a cesspool of bacteria and last night's broccoli & Cheez Whiz casserole, but I can guarantee you won't get laid if you do. My point: you're better off not smelling...

The World's Fastest Amphibious Car

While I'd settle for the World's Second Fastest Amphibious Car...or any amphibious car my mama's up for purchasing...the World's Fastest Amphibious Car is definitely my #1 choice. This beauty earns its title, and its...

GoBe Automatic Calorie Intake Tracker

$125 from Healbe »

Healbe calls its GoBe wristband a 100% automatic body manager. Like the scads of other fitness trackers available and forthcoming today, this means it detects and provides feedback on biometrics such as heart rate, blood...

Hands-Free Magnetic Light

$5.97 from Amazon »

That Striker Hand Tools' hands-free Magnetic Light Mine looks like an Everlasting Gobstopper is just the cherry on top of this cherry-sized task light. For illumination in tight spaces during repairs, tinkering, and upgrades...

Beast Tissue Dispensers

$12.99 - $45 from Etsy »

As some of you may know, tissues provide an alternative to blowing snot rockets or using your sleeve when you have clogged nostrils. Typically they are not worth seeking out, especially if doing so requires standing up...

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32 GB iPad Mini with Retina Display

Giveaway: 32 GB iPad Mini with Retina Display

Seven-point-nine inches. It's a respectable length in some areas of life. In the tablet world though, 7.9" is a Mini. And more than respectable. By many, Mini is coveted. If you're one of the covetous, click here and...

The Game of Thrones Collection

$40 - $110 from Black Milk Clothing »

The start of Season 4 may still be a few weeks away, but Black Milk's Game of Thrones clothing collection drops in mere hours. Houses Stark, Lannister, Targaryen, and Baratheon represent in an array of nakedness shields...

Air Fork One

$3.75 from Amazon »

That's right, kid. You wanna play Here Comes the Airplane, you pilot that aircraft yourself. I'm sick of contemporary society's unbridled pandering to children. They have two hands. Why can't they feed themselves? Put...

Mass Effect N7 Leather Jacket

$475 from BioWare »

You can now have Commander Shepard's N7 leather jacket in 100% Italian lambskin, modeled after the European racing style, and manufactured for BioWare by the same company that makes leather coats for Ferrari. That is...

Tauntaun Hoodie

$59.99 - $64.99 from Amazon »

Defining characteristics of Hoth's tauntauns include a 4-pack of nostrils and a foul body odor. So. Who wants to wear a tauntaun zip-up hoodie? Stamped on the inside by a tauntaun intestines lining? On the upshot, I hear...

The Miracle Machine - Home Winemaker

What we are looking at here is either a bit of a hyperbole or the wine version of that lady who tamed Helen Keller and taught her to communicate. It's called the Miracle Machine. It asserts itself as the world's first...

TARDIS Backpack

Discontinued

Imagine how much stuff you could cram inside a TARDIS backpack. A laptop, a tablet, and an entire XBox. Enough gear and clothing for a 2-week backpacking trip through Nepal. At least 4 cases of beer plus, like, 20 pounds...

Wooden Tie

$36.69 from Amazon »

Yes ma'am, my necktie is made of solid wood. And it just so happens it's pointing to something else that is made of solid wood, if you know what I mean. So why don't we--wait! Don't flip your hair and walk off in a huff!...

Abacus Chair

Discontinued

"Dare to adorn your suit with flowers and then laugh all summer!" I'm not sure what that piece of advice has to do with an abacus chair...or that listening to it won't get you beat up immediately...but it stands as Ieva...

Real Human Skull Art

$2,995 - $3,200 from Zane Wylie »

When Zane Wylie was 5 his mom gave him a canister of Play-Doh and Zane Wylie ate it. When Zane Wylie was 8 his mom gave him a pack of colored pencils and a spiral sketch book and Zane Wylie traded the pencils for a couple...

Bacon Scent-Emitting Alarm

"The essence of Oscar Mayer bacon will strum at your nostril strings like no other." While the Oscar Mayer brand has never been my first choice at the pork candy store, it will definitely be my first choice at the scent-emitting...

4D Cityscape Puzzles

$24.99 - $46.42 from Amazon »

The 4th dimension is time. 4D puzzles of famous skylines--including Westeros from Game of Thrones!--sprawl width- and lengthwise, rise vertically with scale-model buildings, and cap their dimensional empire with the axis...

Spare Tire BBQ Grill

$125 from Front Runner »

The Front Runner Spare Tire BBQ Grill: For roadkill feasts wherever you may roam....

Good Grips 3-in-1 Egg Separator

$4.95 from Amazon »

I am the grandaddy master of the universe at separating eggs. If I do say so myself. I spent several hours learning how to perform this act of culinary prowess in 5th grade and...it's like riding a bike. I've never looked...

The Kraken Umbrella

What I like about this Kraken umbrella is the inside, which features a giant Kraken. What I like significantly less about this Kraken umbrella is the outside, which features a mess of curlicued, doily-looking sea life...

Lightpack - Ambient Backlight for Displays

$119 from Lightpack »

Initially I thought Lightpack was meant to be some sort of aesthetic enhancement for the media screens of gamers and ravers and I was like, Whatever, if I want to see a rainbow light show from my couch, I'll just get...

Star Wars Sunshade

$10.97 from Amazon »

Would it be too much of a conflict of interest to get a Star Wars sunshade featuring the Millennium Falcon crew for my windshield if I already have Darth Vader floor mats installed? I mean, on the one hand they're going...

Coco Jack Coconut Cracking Tools

$42 - $102 from Coco Jack »

I don't always crack open coconuts, but when I do...I usually require stitches, lose the use of my left thumb for several days, and get my mouthed washed out with soap by my mama. Coco Jack, a stainless steel push-and-pry...

Nightstand Dog House

$499.95 - $599.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

This nightstand with a built-in dog house looks swell until you see it with the dog closed inside. Then it looks like a solitary confinement chamber used for enemy spies. And even if your dog chews and pees on things...

Your Stick Figure Family Was Delicious Decal

$2.95 from Amazon »

The problem with free speech is that it makes everyone think it's OK for them to say something. For our forefathers, free speech meant frank debates and sweeping public addresses. Today it means Facebook tirades, anonymous...

Harley Quinn Hoodie

$99.99 from Etsy »

Gee boss, you really know how to put the fun in funeral. DC Universe supervillain Harley Quinn serves as the inspiration for another Geeky U reimagination of the hoodie. (Previous take: Link from The Legend of Zelda.)...

Kangoo Jumps Anti-Gravity Fitness Boots

$179 - $299 from Amazon »

Originally developed by a doctor for rehab patients with knee, hip, and back injuries, Kangoo Jump anti-gravity boots provide former runners with an option for continuing their cardiovascular torture of choice nearly...

Horse Head Squirrel Feeder

$11.78 from Amazon »

We've seen dudes with horse head masks and we've seen squirrels with big head feeders, so to complete the triangle of masks and garden critter nourishment, Archie McPhee obviously had to create a Horse Head Squirrel Feeder....

Buzzy Pain Blocker

$41.99 from Amazon »

Buzzy helps relieve the pain of shots, lab draws, bee stings, burns, burning medicines, Band-Aid rip-offs, and tattoos. Tattoos? Really? I mean, I can get behind a vibrating ice pack fashioned in the likeness of a bumblebee...

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Hacker Stickers Covert Ops Bundle

Giveaway: Hacker Stickers Covert Ops Bundle

Become a master of stealth and intrigue...or just drive your co-workers nuts and gain illicit access to the rooftop of your office building. Enter to win a bundle of budding spy and covert ops gear from Hacker Stickers...

Snore Activated Nudging Pillow

$149.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

This pillow saves the person sleeping next to you the trouble of "inadvertently" delivering an elbow to the ribs when you're snoring louder than a wounded bull. How? First it detects these disturbances of the peace with...

Airsoft Grenade Launcher

Sold Out from Amazon »

Maybe you'd rather your 6-pack attack come from the real one--the M-32 multiple grenade launcher Mach Machowicz once demoed on Future Weapons--but you'll probably get yourself into a lot less trouble with the po and your...