A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Sunday, February 23, 2014
By: Fixed

Those of you who follow the detailed accounts I provide of my illustrious life now know that I have racked up many hundreds of dollars in unpaid parking tickets. So many hundreds that you could technically upgrade the term...

Wednesday, February 22, 2012
FREE from CV Dazzle »

A complex, but increasingly important concept, computer vision (CV) is the collection of algorithms that devices ranging from security cameras to Facebook's PhotoTagger use to automatically detect and recognize human faces....

Friday, April 18, 2014
$12 - $14 from Amazon »

They call it a high performance guitar pick, which in my mind means that the Pykmax should do the guitar strumming for me. Like a player piano, but completely inconspicuously so that the ladies I'm trying to impress think it really is me busting out "More Than Words" or "Wild Horses" or some other schmaltz that could possibly get me laid. But really, the Pykmax gets its high performance designation...

Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

The Drivemocion Rear Window LED Messenger is probably legal in only, like, 10 states (I'd guess the spectrally left and right ones, such as Massachusetts and Texas), but for those of you living amidst bureaucratic leniency...

Sunday, February 2, 2014
$121.53 from Amazon »

Today we salute Denver and Seattle, our Super Bowl XLVIII competitors and title holders of Most Stoned Cities in America. It's cool though. Denver and Seattle live in the first two US states to legalize marijuana, so why wouldn't...

Monday, September 10, 2012
$20.12 from Amazon »

Holy crap, as if I weren't already terrified enough of this beast! Now they have to go and put a raptor costume on it. Well tiny dinosaur dog, now you can keep your beady eyes, your snaggleteeth and your flesh-flaying, sickle-shaped claws to yourself. You think a clever Halloween getup makes you look precious and approachable? Well I see your precious and approachable, and raise you the scars encircling...

Friday, September 21, 2012
$93.99 from Amazon »

If looking like a complete schmo in an Ostrich Pillow means that I can sleep through transcontinental flights and my boss' stories about his Junior Samba Champion grandson, then bring on the gawks and guffaws. I won't see...

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Runner up to the Alien Abduction Lamp in the category of Best Application of 1950s Era Extra Terrestrials to Common Household Objects: UFO soap dispensers. Duncan Shotton's design plants a spaceship pump atop a neon yellow...

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Flashy diamonds, fat rings, and firing machines: the Uzi ring is a thug's dream. And though designer Jason of Beverly Hills lists it in his jewelry for gents section, he points out there is no reason thugesses can't sport...

Friday, September 6, 2013

Can you believe that June 7th, 2014 will mark the 30th anniversary of the original Ghostbusters movie? Heady stuff. I feel sorry for myself that I was alive on that release date. But not as sorry as I feel for those of you...

Saturday, January 12, 2013
$225 from The Spiritree »

Hello, children. In today's lesson we will learn about death and gardening. First, meet Walter. Walter is dead. That's why he fits so easily inside this urn. Now meet the Spiritree. The Spiritree is also an urn, but it is...

Friday, August 15, 2014
$24.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Save a few bucks on the ChargeKey this week and next. It's on sale for $24.99 from the Dude Exclusives online store....

Monday, May 7, 2012

I hope anyone who has one of these nifty Interactive LED Tables also has a few gallons of disinfectant on hand, because the two primary modes of interaction I foresee with their pressure-sensitive, illuminative surfaces are...

Tuesday, April 30, 2013
$149.95 - $199.95 from Lunasee »

Lunasee ASL wheel lights for motorcycles increase rider visibility and safety by providing active side lighting over a broad range, even when bikes are outside the direct path of another vehicle's headlight. That the wraparound...

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$36.07 from Amazon »

It's all smoke and mirrors. Or, in the case of Mirage's 3D hologram maker, just mirrors. Great fun for kids, and not very bright fat people who can't figure out why they CAN'T. GRAB. THE M&Ms. Here, Chubs, have a strawberry...

Friday, November 18, 2011
$11.99 from Bacon Salt »

When we, collectively as Americans, stumble onto something that catches on with the unintelligent majority, we immediately begin the process of running it into the ground. See: The Kardashians, Myspace and... bacon flavored...

Thursday, September 11, 2014
$27.84 from Amazon »

A 20-gauge shotgun shell thermos that holds only 16 ounces of liquid! Could they not have added 4 ounces so it makes more sense? Why is it so difficult for people to be smart and think logically? Anyway, this Shotshell insulated...

Thursday, July 18, 2013
$59.99 from Amazon »

I've observed my fair share of pet fish poop over the years--both floating at the surface of my aquarium and during the fabrication process as it emerged from its host--and I feel very uneasy at the thought of it serving as...

Friday, October 25, 2013
$15.99 from Amazon »

Who wants to dissipate a crowd? Shorten the line to get into Comic-Con? Gain some alone time with the Mona Lisa at the Louvre? Convince the cop you really were going 120 in response to massive GI issues? Nasal Nausea, a military-grade...

Thursday, February 7, 2013
$2,499 from Etsy »

If you were wondering whether or not post-apocalyptic society will be integrating text messaging with self-defense, the answer is yes. Thomas Willeford's steampunk keyboard-arm guard combo sports futuristic Victorian aesthetics...

Saturday, April 27, 2013
$149 from KidsEmbrace »

A Batman Car Seat?! Kids these days are so spoiled. When I was of car seat age my mama didn't even put me in a car seat. She strapped me down with bungee cords. And only on the inside of the car instead of the roof on days...

Saturday, July 19, 2014
Discontinued

As a frame of reference, I looked up how much it would cost to purchase a normal drinking fountain. Like, for a human. Under $400 from Amazon. So why would you spend $1,250 for a custom-made miniature wood drinking fountain...

Friday, February 21, 2014
$13.95 from Amazon »

Canned Dragon Meat. It's like Canned Unicorn Meat, but from a slain dragon instead of a slain unicorn. It probably tastes a lot tougher, maybe a little charred, but since slaying a dragon is considered heroic and grounds for...

Saturday, December 15, 2012

I must spend about $5,000 per year on pizza. Usually between the hours of 1:00 and 3:00 a.m. How cost effective (and fun for my neighbors) it would be if instead of Internet ordering from Dominoes and watching Ollie add toppings...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013
$9.99 from Amazon »

If I wrote a book, Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate is exactly what I'd call it. Well, that or Yeah, You're a Pedestrian and Technically Have the Right of Way, but If You March into the Street All Self-Entitled Without...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Plant flowers, not bullet wounds. That's ST lab's rosy goal with Flower Shell. The Scandinavian company, which has developed several trendy, quirky, and what they hope will be considered visionary products, plans to release...

Saturday, June 22, 2013
$55 from D3 Protection »

Sap is an interesting word because it can connote both a sorry, pathetic loser and an object of grit and power that will F your S up. Here we will talk about the second version of sap because, in honor of summer's official...

Wednesday, March 19, 2014
By: blocks

Like Phonebloks (i.e., Google's Project Ara), the forthcoming BLOCKS smartwatch will encompass an array of detachable modules. Wearers will be able to snap together hardware, sensor, app, and "dummy" (for sizing) BLOCKS to...

Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Discontinued

If you "fertilize" it properly and approach it from the right end, not only will the Piranha Plant not kill you, it will actually ease any pain you may have, and make you feel blissfully content. Though also maybe hungry enough...

Wednesday, August 27, 2014
$2,050 from Ferrari Store »

Sure, $2 grand is steep, but it's not like this is just a Ferrari carbon fiber chess set. Look, you can play checkers on it too. And check out the varnish on those red playing pieces. I can almost see my reflection in them...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013
$18.86 from Amazon »

A Mach 3...or 9...or whatever the hell number they're on now, a pack of blades, and a RazorPit. Gifts for Dad = done. The RazorPit, which I prefer to think of as a Big Boy Bed for my razor, recruits a patented friction technology...

Wednesday, February 29, 2012
$49.99 from Amazon »

iPhone, iTouch, Android, all laser-tag-loving smartphone owners, get ready for the AppTag Laser Blaster! The app-and-apparatus duo that will turn your basement, your backyard, and your 3-mile stumble home from the bar at 3...

Saturday, March 29, 2014
$22 from Amazon »

One time when I was a young boy I, like all young boys, wanted to hang a Tawny Kitaen poster on my wall. But I didn't have any poster putty on hand, so as an alternative I licked its 4 corners and stuck Tawny to my closet...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
$24.95 - $55.95 from Society 6 »

Obviously the only one of these celebrities who really sat for his French Republican Guard...or whatever...portrait in the 19th century is Chuck Norris because he's immortal and easily over 200 years old. The rest are fakes...

Thursday, March 20, 2014
$249.95 from Amazon »

Well I know I like that square beam HD flashlight Bushnell makes so I have similarly high hopes for their Equinox Z, a digital night vision monocular with 6x magnification. The after-dark locating and sightseeing device has...

Monday, May 26, 2014

Snap up the iPhoneography lens kit, your 10-piece ticket to rocking Instagram with enhanced iPhone 5S/5 photography skills. It makes an appearance on Dude Exclusives at 65% off retail value through May 29, 2014. Also keep...

Thursday, March 28, 2013
$79.99 - $84.99 from BriAbby »

My grandma used to crochet me things. Yeah, used to. Like she used to make me waffles from scratch. Then she got lazy and just hoped I wouldn't notice when she started replacing the once bountiful discs cratered with crispy...

Saturday, April 12, 2014

What's so special about an "atomic" wristwatch paradoxically struggling to work itself down from prototype sizes as big as the wearer's wrist? Well. In tracking time, it loses just 1 second every 1,000 years. Because its foundation...

Tuesday, March 4, 2014
$2.95 from Amazon »

The problem with free speech is that it makes everyone think it's OK for them to say something. For our forefathers, free speech meant frank debates and sweeping public addresses. Today it means Facebook tirades, anonymous...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011
$65 from Etsy »

People just can't wait to pervert emblems of peace and goodwill, can they? First the benevolent garden gnome goes zombie and now he's Charlton Heston. Still, at under a foot tall, these combative cuties make perfect pairs--or...

Friday, March 14, 2014

You can make all the tender meat jokes you want, but when it comes down to it, you know you like tender meat. I like tender meat. Tender and infused with flavor. Mmmmmm....

Thursday, August 8, 2013

The 21st century: where dog food is for humans, and human beds are for dogs. Oh, and you can also wear the Internet on your face. Murphy’s Paw Design and Clark | Richardson Architects have developed two Barkitecture-award-winning...

Monday, June 24, 2013
$295 - $1,689 from Twinkind »

A miniature exact replica of mine own self, scanned and 3D printed to order? Hmmm. How about a gargantuan, like 10:1, 3D-printed twin that I can fill with air as I would a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade ballon and float around...

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

This lightning cable for charging iOS and Android devices is 6' long. That's great news for the 80% of my city's population that plug their phones into random dusty corner outlets in bars and restaurants and waiting rooms...

Friday, August 26, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

The real question is... can you wear one of these out in public? These are sharp, flexible and the perfect finishing touch to a catwoman outfit. Or they'd be great for slicing up intruders that break in your apartment at night...

Friday, November 9, 2012

On August 29, 2012, James Hoegh gunned and smoked his Confederate Motorcycles' X132 Hellcat Combat to an average top speed of 172.2 mph on northwestern Utah's Bonneville Salt Flats. It set a new land speed record for unfaired...

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Loot Crates are what happens when Santa Claus remembers all of his favorite geeks and gamers the other 11 months of the year. You don't even have to be nice or well-behaved or someone who doesn't tailgate on the highway. All...

Monday, June 2, 2014
$24.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

This interest-free ChargeCard will never send you into debt and never threaten to ruin your credit. Granted, it won't buy you an iPhone 5s either, but should you get one and suffer a dead battery within the first 3 hours of...

Thursday, May 8, 2014
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Like Food Huggers, Cover Blubbers are condom-ish pieces of sticky rubber that fit directly over leftovers for preservation and storage. Kind of like plastic wrap or foil, except Cover Blubbers actually adhere and stay put...

Friday, February 7, 2014
$149.99 from Gentle Giant »

Ahhh, Darth Vader and Son. The must-have storybook for all dads forced to read their sons storybooks. Jeffrey Brown's re-envisioning of the Star Wars mythos speculates on how a galaxy far, far away might have looked if Darth...

Sunday, September 22, 2013
$34.95 from Archie McPhee »

I believe all children with no existing physical or mental impairments who think they're hot little shits should be required to wear these giant lobster claws on their hands for a day to learn how it feels to be different...

Sunday, September 1, 2013
$79 from SparqEE »

Getting up off the couch to go make a cell phone sounds even rougher than getting up off the couch to go make a sandwich. But if you're up for either, good on you. I recommend pastrami and swiss on rye for the sandwich, and...

Monday, October 17, 2011
$22 from Firebox.com »

For some, the rush of peace and relaxation associated with smoking marijuana are unparalleled. So when innovative people who are desperate to toke out find themselves without a prefabricated bong or pipe, they improvise using...

Saturday, April 5, 2014
$29.99 from Perpetual Kid »

As Jerry taught us nearly 20 years ago, ain't nothing like a lady with feminine wiles from the neck up and Goliath-sized monstrosities from the wrist down to kill all desire we have to get her into bed. One look at ol' Man...

Tuesday, December 30, 2014
$169.99 from Amazon »

Not that I really want to go outside at all until June rolls back around, but if in February Bear Grylls were to invite me on a televised trekking adventure like he did Deion Sanders, I would probably get Garmin's Foretrex...

Tuesday, November 11, 2014
$38 from Amazon »

The comfort of not waking up unable to rotate your neck more than 5 degrees to the left meets the comfort of not waking up sweatier than a fat man doing hot yoga in a polyester leisure suit. Sleep Innovations' reversible Gel-Memory...

Monday, June 30, 2014
$49.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Get the SmartPlane, the first smartphone-controlled aircraft known to man, for $20 off from Dude Exclusives through July 6, 2014!...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

They call it a reverse Molotov cocktail, nomenclature I find very slick, and thereby reason enough to invest in a throwable fire extinguisher. Plus, although I'm normally more one to fan the flames, I also recognize that ladies...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014
$42 - $102 from Coco Jack »

I don't always crack open coconuts, but when I do...I usually require stitches, lose the use of my left thumb for several days, and get my mouthed washed out with soap by my mama. Coco Jack, a stainless steel push-and-pry...

Wednesday, August 6, 2014
$79 from Pro Idee »

I've heard the ideal rate at which to administer effective chest compressions when doing CPR is in accordance to the beat of "Stayin' Alive." But I wonder, what if you're not a Bee Gees fan? What if you could stomach singing...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Yes, $62 for six AAs is steep, but they hold their charge for up to 10 years, and, let's face it, you're never going to have trouble finding a couple mils of pee when they need a reboot. NoPoPos (No Pollution Power) are eco-friendly...

Saturday, March 1, 2014
$75 - $95 from GORUCK »

GORUCK makes this pair of military-grade gym bags from 1000 D ballistic or double-layered CORDURA. As far as I can tell, that means they're burly and water resistant, but will probably grow to smell like a combination of the...

Thursday, August 28, 2014
$9.79 - $16.01 from Amazon »

Duke Cannon would like you to know two things about his Big Ass Bricks of Soap. One, they are 3 times bigger than "feminine soaps." In other words, if you're not using a Big Ass Brick of "Smells Like Accomplishment" or "Smells...

Friday, November 21, 2014
$14.95 from Amazon »

Sure you could use a flashlight. Or a lantern. Or I guess even an iPad. But SunJack's CampLight looks and acts like a real live 4W LED bulb, delivering a 270-degree beam angle of ambient lighting when plugged into any standard...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
$64.95 from Amazon »

Oh I see what Frosty did there. He stole that other snowman's nose. And put it on his crotch. So now he has a carrot schnoz and a carrot ding dong. I bet the other snowman is actually a snowlady. Yeah, now it all makes sense....

Monday, March 4, 2013
$149 from Mycestro »

Controlling objects through abracadabra gestures seems to be a hot trend right now. So can someone please make me a Mycestro 3D Mouse ring or MYO Armband that, in addition to manipulating my PC, will also abracadabra my dog's...

Monday, August 6, 2012

Despite their being shaped like big Os, I'm not sure about Big-O as a name for these stunt skates. I'm pretty sure if I were to try them, the words "Big O" would not be at the forefront of my mind. I'd call mine Big I Didn't...

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Edge of Belgravia, previously featured for their scandalous ceramic knife meat and produce stabbings, has added this Black Diamond floating knife block to their culinary repertoire. Designed by Christian Bird, the rough-cut...