A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, November 14, 2012
$45 - $250 from Morlock Enterprises »

Even if your kitchen crusades consist of little more than scrambling eggs or, like my dad, changing other men's lives by showing them how to use a skillet to reheat day-old pizza to its just-delivered splendor, the Fighting...

Friday, November 30, 2012
$34.99 - $37.99 from Amazon »

I've been looking for the perfect Christmas gift to give my crestfallen cousin, who just received his rejection letter from Harvard Law. I hate my cousin. He's an insolent little twat. I was going to anonymously send him some...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013
$104.49 from Amazon »

I've always thought how nice it would be to have a cool, consistent breeze blowing up my shorts. I'm actually in the process of developing my own take on Air Jordans, called Air Up There Jordans. They'll have a ring-shaped fan built into the cuff of each high-top for perpetual below-the-belt and above-the-knee refreshment. You'll be able to help crowdfund them on Kickstarter in the coming months....

Bar
Thursday, May 22, 2014
$9.99 from Amazon »

A manual contraption for slicing lemons and limes into perfect wedges that isn't my two hands may not be a groundbreaking addition to the world, but as a bar tool I'd pretty sure I'd use it at least as much as my shaker, and...

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

When it comes to pants positioning, waistline aesthetics, and--most importantly--gut comfort, 1/4" can make a huge difference. Traklines banish the meager five, 1"-spaced holes of traditional belts from their full-grain leather...

Saturday, January 11, 2014
$14.95 from First Aid Flame »

Movie stuntman and stunt coordinator Bob Bragg developed the First Aid Flame for 2 reasons. 1) He could. Having honed his savvy in fire-related stunts, Bragg knew how to fabricate and manipulate the combustion process well. 2) Stories he heard over the years of people freezing to death in the wilderness--or even on the side of the road in colder regions--convinced him the market needed a self-contained...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

One reviewer notes that Introductory Calculus for Infants reads exactly as advertised, except that it won't teach your baby--or you--how to do calculus. She goes on to opine that all who actually expect a children's book to...

Sunday, May 26, 2013
$179 - $279 from Vachen »

One watch, over a hundred different faces--interchangeable at the flick of a finger. Reminds me of this bipolar chick I used to date...I sure hope the Vachen Smartwatch doesn't come with an I'm-gonna-bludgeon-you-with-my-F'd...

Friday, March 22, 2013
By: Flickr

Whatever, I could make a Bilbo Baggins Bag End Bonsai. Or I could if I had the meticulous, exacting hands of a surgeon. But then I'd probably just be a surgeon because I bet it pays more than selling miniature Japanese trees....

Thursday, July 26, 2012
Discontinued

I just cracked the ever-loving Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Alien vs. Predator, and Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem out of my knee cap on the corner of a coffee table, but somehow, as I gaze upon the Chesthugger...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Saturday, December 14, 2013
$59.99 from Amazon »

In Star Wars: The Blueprints, "the meticulously researched text gives voice to the groundbreaking and brilliant engineers, designers, and artists that have, in film after film, created the most imaginative and iconic locales."...

Wednesday, January 29, 2014
$22.50 - $30 from Etsy »

Jeff Hornung of The Walnut Log handcrafts all of his works from fine and unique woods. In the case of our featured pen series, he incorporates some fine and unique objects as well: bullets. What normally fire out of barrels...

Wednesday, February 20, 2013
$33.64 - $49.97 from Amazon »

It's not that I don't like trees, it's just that sometimes they really piss me off and I feel compelled to take a few swings at them with my powerful axe. I think this serves as an appropriate warning and encourages them to...

Monday, May 12, 2014
$19.99 from Amazon »

You're still on your own for keeping yourself from falling off the ladder, but at least with LadderLimb your buckets, bags, and drills will be safe from gravity's pull. A tool for every handyman and Daddy-O, the LadderLimb...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013
$40 - $150 from Etsy »

According to the Protestant ethic, grillin' like a villain is better than chillin' like a villain because even though both involve nefarious characters that disobey the law and wreak havoc, grillin' villains work long and...

Tuesday, November 5, 2013
$12.47 from Amazon »

According to Soft Goat, "Scruffy is sexy!" And given that scruffy means unshaven and unshaven means me not having to partake in the laborious task of shaving every morning, it appears I have finally succeeded in my quest to...

Sunday, February 17, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Betta fish have all the luck. They enjoy a completely acceptable sedentary lifestyle of floating and feeding, they never have to share their personal space with other fish, and now, thanks to Rob Young and Denny Curtis of...

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Part superhero transportation, part adult sized go kart, one thing is for sure, this is a suicide machine. But think what fun you'll have right up until the point of death! And then you can have all of your loved ones say...

Saturday, January 11, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Here's a friendly price point for singing like a nightingale or screaming like a banshee in the shower. FreshETech's Splash Shower Tunes is a completely waterproof, wireless speaker that automatically pairs with any Bluetooth-fitted...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012
$24.99 from Amazon »

These pillows aren't new to the market, but then again, neither are the all-consuming feelings of loneliness and despair that overtake us as we try to fall asleep at night. So maybe it's time to check out a tried-and-true...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013
$477 - $525 from bublcam »

What better way to prove you've got balls than to show 'em? That's the cue photography seems to be taking from projects such as the Panono and, here, the bublcam. A baseball-sized spherical camera, bublcam houses 4 equidistant...

Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

When I need to cut line or slice through nylon...or, more likely, since I don't really do outdoor activities or know how to safely wield a knife, when I need to expediently cleave open the box containing my new copy of Hyrule...

Wednesday, September 11, 2013
$1.03 million from Porsche »

Porsche has entered the hybrid market with its 918 Spyder: progressive or a bunch of pomp and circumstance? I mean, sure, it's time for all car makers to contribute to the trek towards alternative vehicle fueling, but the...

Thursday, August 30, 2012
$30 from Amazon »

It's Dungeons & Dragons for the boozin' 21+ crowd. DrunkQuest combines fast-paced card game mechanics with shades of the D&D fantasy world with a few 6-packs and a liter or two of Captain Morgan for a party game of competitive...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013
$650 from Etsy »

I like the idea of the Force being with me, but I also like the idea of stuff. With one of these Star Wars rings I will still be able to envision and harness the power of an intangible Force, but, more importantly, I'll be...

Sunday, December 23, 2012
$25k - $35k from ideum »

Ideum's 55" Platform and Pro Touch Tables, carnivals of interactive media suitable for simultaneous use by up to 4 computing people, have just been walloped by the Hammer of Thor in the form of the company's newest advancement...

Thursday, September 26, 2013
$119.93 from Amazon »

While RockBoard's Descender doesn't appear to be a wheeled vehicle suitable for the protruding roots and rocky drops of mountain bike trails, if its video is to be believed, it will serve as a smooth operator for anyone who...

Sunday, May 19, 2013
$34.99 from Amazon »

Sick of hearing about the Zombie Apocalypse? Me too. I'm also sick of hearing about how pretty soon my mama's going to kick me out of her house and stop paying for my cell phone bill and all of my chips and cereal, thus forcing...

Friday, June 7, 2013
$15.29 from Firebox.com »

Oh the C word. My friends Constantine, Bartholomew, and I all agree it's pretty much the worst in the English language. Definitely the most heinous mud you can sling at someone. Which makes this C U Next Tuesday, or UNT Mug...

Thursday, May 23, 2013
$500 from Etsy »

Ways to maintain popularity and credibility over the course of 20 years in the music industry: 1) Keep making good music; 2) Wear badass LED costumes from the future. Mauricio Santoro pays homage to the Thomas half of the...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
$28.40 from Amazon »

Be a hero. Everyone's doing it. And even if they're not contemporary society--particularly the media, and particularly the media talking about celebrities--love throwing that word around and assigning it to people who do little...

Thursday, July 25, 2013
$3,065 - $6,131 from Surface Tension »

Previously we witnessed the introduction of fine craftsman furniture to the old school Nintendo controller. Now we see tastefully worked walnut and oak incorporated into full-on coffee table arcades and PCs. Surface Tension...

Thursday, January 17, 2013
$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

My 12-year-old nephew plays Minecraft all day long. I'm not exaggerating. I got him a lime green Minecraft Creeper Beanie for Christmas. So that if he ever decides to stop playing Minecraft and go outside his ears won't be...

Thursday, January 9, 2014
$125 - $1,699 from Kult »

Luke was never the apple of his daddy's eye, but thanks to fine artist Christian Waggoner, he will forevermore be the reflection in Vader's mask....

Friday, September 16, 2011
$1,299 from Makerbot »

If you're not familiar with 3D printers yet, it's time to start familiarizing yourself. A 3D printer actually "prints" an object you design on your computer by laying down successive layers of material. This offers the possibility...

Sunday, July 7, 2013
$11.99 - $19.99 from Ember »

Not that we should be rewarded for irresponsibly drinking to excess such that we need preventative steps to hangovers, but...Ember kind of rewards us for irresponsibly drinking to excess by way of serving as a preventative...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$11 from Etsy »

While my ideal Bat Key would start the ignition to a Batmobile, I guess one that makes an X on my computer screen will suffice until I raise $620,000 and learn how to drive a stick. Etsy artist Anya's Batman Keyboard Stickers...

Tuesday, February 5, 2013
$29.95 from Etsy »

This Handbook for the Recently Deceased contains 220 blank pages. I don't know if that's better or worse than Adam and Barbara Maitland's gibberish-filled version. Perhaps better, as at least buyers can fill this one with...

Thursday, October 17, 2013
$247.16 from Amazon »

Hmmm, does my desire not to wash dishes by hand supersede my desire to microwave Hot Pockets? It's not even a rhetorical question. Even though SPT's countertop dishwasher says it will fit beneath most kitchen cabinetry, it's...

Thursday, September 19, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

This warplane ceiling fan reminds me that I hate ceiling fans. For two reasons. First, once they're on it takes me 10 minutes to figure out how many times I have to pull the GD cord to turn them off. Click. It's slowing, right?...

Friday, June 28, 2013
$11.50 - $44.09 from Amazon »

I really can't hear the word "mystical" anymore without thinking of Mystikal and his inexplicable squawking of that song about shaking things but watching yourself, but I can look at this Mystical Fire colorant that turns...

Saturday, December 1, 2012
$199.99 from Watchismo »

While seemingly morbid and in poor taste at first glance, The Accurate--a Mr. Jones Watch--intends to serve as a reminder of our fleeting seconds, minutes, and hours on earth. Its dial and rim are even mirrored so that when...

Saturday, July 6, 2013
$18 - $72.60 from Society 6 »

Oh snap! It's imaginary ancient fantasy world meets the decades of excess and grunge. In a new line of Society 6 prints, graphic designer Mike, who sells under the name Moshi-Kun, gives your favorite Game of Thrones characters...

Monday, March 12, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Adopting its name from Mayan lore, the Doomed Skull Shot Glass is here to help you ring in the apocalypse. It won't ward off zombies or cataclysmic solar flares or anthrax-laced rain drops, but it will get you so wasted those...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011
$295 from Etsy »

Hot. Sexy. Latex. When I think of Mario Bros. those are definitely the first 3 words that come to mind. And this latex dress captures that perfectly. I wonder how sweaty I would get if I tried to put that thing on? Not wear...

Thursday, April 5, 2012
$14.99 from PocketShot »

Is that a shot of tequila in your pocket, or am I just happy to see you? Pocket Shots are flexible, stand-up pouches enshrining 50 ml servings of everyone's favorite 80-proof hard liquor varietals. Long flight? Long day at...

Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

And I thought it couldn't get any better than R2-D2 measuring cups. Well, really, R2-D2 measuring cups are better than a Death Star cutting board, if for no other reason than their deconstruct/reconstruct Russian doll attributes...

Thursday, January 10, 2013
$120 - $130 from QSTO »

With only 6 days remaining in its Kickstarter campaign, and less than 25% of its $25,000 funding goal achieved, it doesn't seem that the Suzak chair will find success in its run for public funding, but I hope creators Jose...

Thursday, September 1, 2011
Discontinued

An ultra-realistic and functional prawn assault rifle from the movie District 9. Really cool collectors item for enthusiasts and a perfect Halloween costume for someone who likes being encumbered by their Halloween costume...

Bar
Thursday, September 15, 2011
$25 from Chugbeers »

So long beer bong. Pump up to 24 ounces of cold, tasty, inhibition stealing beer down your gullet in less than two seconds with the Bierstick. It's like a 2x multiplier for having fun. You're gonna have fun anyway... why not...

Friday, February 1, 2013
$67,500 from Carbon Fiber Gear »

If they were going put the effort into creating a bathtub out of airplane and race car materials, couldn't they have made it look like an airplane or race car? Not that I wouldn't still clamor to spend some QT in Corcel's...

Tuesday, March 5, 2013
$99 - $119 from Amiigo »

What if you had a tiny device to track your reps, sets, duration, speed, and intensity? Would you work out more? Would you work out harder? Yeah, me neither, but I'd use it to barter with a strong, fit person who actually...

Monday, October 7, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Raul Souza's cleaver ring is what you use to threaten children who can't keep their hands to themselves when time out, grounding, and public humiliation cease to have an effect. Of course the ol' finger-sized-butcher's-knife-and-fake-blood...

Thursday, July 25, 2013
$100 from Amazon »

Blissful slumbering courtesy of a bed in the sky. It sounds like a dream come true. So you click...and view...and...it's a hammock. A thin, garbage bag-looking hammock too. This hammock has some explaining to do....

Monday, September 24, 2012
$639.99 from Etsy »

Dragon slaying dudes saw their wicked set of leather armor featured a few months ago, so now, ladies, it's your turn. John McGovern is peddling this handcrafted Dragon Scale Leather Armor to badasses of the female persuasion....

Monday, January 7, 2013
$235 - $260 from GoSt Barefoots »

I suppose calling theses shoes PaleoBarefoots appeals to a wider market, given the current eat-and-function-like-a-caveman craze popularized by the likes of CrossFit and Mark Sisson, but Chainmail Shoes sounds so much cooler....

Tuesday, August 27, 2013
$55 - $80 from Eighty-Eight Industry »

Aero Ti creators Eighty Eight Industry went aerodynamic with their chopsticks after studying the physiology of holding typical round, square, and octagonal shapes. When the hand's three fingers merge to grip a pair, they create...

Tuesday, October 2, 2012
$12.46 from Amazon »

Shots. In addition to proving (or destroying) your manhood, they are also the best way to clear out random bottles of crème de cacao, orange bitters, and Lillet Blanc from the back of your liquor cabinet. Seattle mixologist...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
$9.95 from Amazon »

The Cool Blue Light Experiment Kit teaches inquisitive minds about chemiluminescence and the rest of us how to make our arms glow without killing and dismembering a firefly. Weee! Using copper sulfate, perborate, and luminol...

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Roasting marshmallows and making s'mores over an open flame is such grand fun. At least until someone falls into the burning ring of fire and doesn't live to sing about it like Johnny Cash. Then it's kind of a downer. Avoid...

Thursday, April 17, 2014
$13.99 from Amazon »

OXO says, "There's nothing as luscious as a ripe mango." OXO obviously has never seen Kate Upton's rack. Or Kelly Brook's. Or Christina Hendricks'. However, I do agree that mangoes are in the luscious family. The luscious...

Monday, March 10, 2014
$5.97 from Amazon »

That Striker Hand Tools' hands-free Magnetic Light Mine looks like an Everlasting Gobstopper is just the cherry on top of this cherry-sized task light. For illumination in tight spaces during repairs, tinkering, and upgrades...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I hear Pasta Boobs pair best with cream-based sauces. I hear Pasta Boobs should be cooked al dente if you want them to stay firm. I hear if you serve Pasta Boobs to kids under 3, they'll only gnaw on the tips. I hear...eh...

Thursday, March 20, 2014
Sold Out from ThinkGeek »

Snuggle up with God's ugliest creature. It's true. The blobfish wins all the Most Horrific Beast on the Planet contests, and as I've previously mentioned here, I think it might be my curse to be reincarnated as one. Legend...

Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

I've had one of these Hamilton Beach single-serving blenders for years, and although it's not the highest quality blending product ever made, I use it faithfully for 3 reasons:...

Thursday, May 23, 2013
$31.89 from Amazon »

This K-9 Kannon indeed looks like a device over which the dogs slated to retrieve its blasted tennis balls are going to go apeshit. It fires up to 75 feet...consistently, not just those one or two times you really focus and...

Wednesday, July 10, 2013
$31.26 - $61.95 from Amazon »

A little morbidity to go with your coffee and intent gaze of surfing the Web for non-work-related diversions today? The idea for Havalon sporting scalpels arose from watching taxidermists at work. Havalon's parent company...

Saturday, March 8, 2014
$59.99 - $64.99 from Amazon »

Defining characteristics of Hoth's tauntauns include a 4-pack of nostrils and a foul body odor. So. Who wants to wear a tauntaun zip-up hoodie? Stamped on the inside by a tauntaun intestines lining? On the upshot, I hear the...