A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, March 12, 2014
$249 from Amazon »

NewSpin Golf hopes their SwingSmart Duo will continue to be a standout amongst the bevy of golf swing analyzers and digital coaches that have emerged with mobile tech and apps. The self-training system pairs a swing sensor...

Monday, September 23, 2013
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Unless you're a complete tool, it's pretty hard to F up a cake mix. However, if you're attempting to bake a cake from scratch in an effort to show the apple of your eye how much you care/should get laid with an introductory...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013
$520 - $565 from Trail Insight »

I didn't realize there were people out there into running or hiking a trail, and then doing more grunt work grooming or reconfiguring it as their reward for finishing without passing out. Is this a new extreme sport? I also didn't realize our country's parks departments approved of the average citizen dinking around with and "fixing" their publicly funded installations. Good thing the Trail Boss...

Monday, April 29, 2013
$58.95 from Lovelysally »

Laser Cats has finally made the leap from SNL short to Italian women's fashion. Sans copyright infringement given that these leggings' cats shoot lasers from their eyes instead of their mouths, and appear to be permanently...

Wednesday, August 28, 2013
$59.99 from Amazon »

I just had a childhood flashback. My grandma totally owned and operated one of these hydro-flosser things. But it didn't connect to the shower head like Waterpik's handy Showerpik, it had a reservoir you had to fill, and I...

Thursday, August 1, 2013
$224.95 from Amazon »

I have to say, it's a little disappointing to see LEGO, a pastime that has supported content diversity for decades, join the ranks of Keds, toilet paper, and P. Diddy's annual summer party, and go all white. However, I understand how the absence of color in the company's 1,210-brick Architecture Studio, and its resultant focus on clean lines and shapes, might appeal to a broader audience of artsy...

Friday, January 10, 2014
$89.95 from Amazon »

The InaTrap Insect Killer won the 2012 Taiwan Excellence Award. I wonder if it was the sole champion. Like, if nothing else in the entirety of 2012 Taiwan was more excellent than a bug destroyer (with night light!) I hope...

Sunday, October 21, 2012
By: Flickr

Wayne Hussey and Carlyle Livingston, ye builders of the LEGO Bat Cave, I think you might win Batman Creations Fabricated by People Obsessed with the Dark Knight for 2012. Motorcycle suits be damned, I'd much rather have this...

Saturday, December 21, 2013
$27.99 from Overstock.com »

Yo quiero three large divots carved out of my back so I can hold tacos for gringos. Meet Tito...and his twin brother Tito...a duo of chihuahuas eager to liven up your Taco Tuesday with their droll method of tortilla shell...

Friday, August 17, 2012
$53 from Pixers »

Huh. Now this is interesting. And by "interesting" I mean, "I really hope I never show up to someone's house and see an entire room wallpapered in blood splatters." That's, like, some psycho housewife shit. Some Kathy Bates...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Thursday, August 25, 2011
By: Blogspot

If they're gonna make us wear helmets when we ride our bikes, then we might as well make a powerful fashion statement while following their rules. Enter the R2D2 helmet. Girl has some skills. Pretty cute too....

Sunday, October 7, 2012
$499.99 from Gizmine »

But here's the question: would you be able to tell they're Star Wars glasses if I didn't tell you they're Star Wars glasses? Well either way, fancy Japanese marketing and branding are about to bring you subtle colors and trademark...

Monday, November 26, 2012
$48.21 from Amazon »

The HitchSafe Key Vault: Because there's no better place to stash your singles in the event of spontaneous strip shows on the Platinum Stage Hitch Pole. Also, it can safely guard spare house and car keys, as well as mind small...

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

She's just been let loose to wreak havoc and revenge in Batman: Arkham City. Harley Quinn's equally deadly next stop? Ladies' legs. And this time, her weapon of choice is an explosive cocktail of Polyester and Spandex. Black...

Friday, November 1, 2013
$42.95 - $169.95 from Onnit »

First it was the apes that got the swing and pood treatment. It was only natural, really. Now, fitness...dare I say maverick?...Onnit has designed another limited edition set of freakish kettlebells, this time giving a nod...

Friday, October 11, 2013
$27.49 from Amazon »

This black toilet paper looks like the streamers my mama used to hang up in our kitchen for Halloween or when someone died. I hope the two don't feel similar tidying up my nether regions....

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
$899 from Wine Enthusiast »

What better place to store the beer, bubbles, sodie, and elves for your holiday parties this season than a massive reclaimed wine barrel? The 36" high x 26" wide x 26" deep fermented grape monster can hold up to 100 pounds...

Wednesday, October 19, 2011
$149.99 from Demon Bells »

Just in case the implications of heaving a 72-pound concentrated mass of steel back and forth near your head doesn't scare you enough, DemonBells have added the creepy faces you see in your nightmares to the mix....

Saturday, September 3, 2011

To me (an art expert of the highest respect) this looks like something I would have seen in the movie The Mummy and it makes me feel scared. That's a first rate art critique right there. Tons of cool images in this gallery....

Wednesday, August 21, 2013
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Do I believe in ghosts? Well, I believe something drank half of those empty Bud Light Lime bottles strewn across my living room floor because I couldn't have possibly blown through three 6-packs on my own. And before you say...

Sunday, June 2, 2013
$19.95 - $39.95 from MudJug »

I personally don't dip because I've always thought you have to be a baseball player or type of male who doesn't sob uncontrollably and beg for help from the Baby Jesus upon chewing anything that burns more than a stick of...

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Maybe the coolest thing about the Grizzly Robotic Utility Vehicle is that it's smaller than it looks. Like, I could sit on it and make it drive me around, profiting from its design as an all-electric workhorse with the precision...

Friday, March 9, 2012

Many of us used to think travel to and within the Galactic Republic was impossible due to its being make believe. But now we all know the truth that real Star Wars fans have always known: up until 2010, the Intergalactic Identity...

Monday, October 7, 2013
$9.99 from Hopson Kinetic »

OSM = Object for Spatial Manipulation = a kaleidoscopic sculpture made of disks = pronounced "awesome". No joke. "OSM" sounds out as "awesome" because its designers have astutely noticed that that's exactly what this endlessly...

Friday, January 31, 2014
$10.50 from Amazon »

Eggs. They're almost as fragile as cats and guinea pigs. Better suit them up for the battle then. The battle they're still going to lose with my stomach. Sorry little hard-boiled ovo-knights. You're just no match for my brutishly...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014
$14.08 from Amazon »

Ideas? I have lots of them. At least 7 million. Like, how about a southern soul food sushi roll? Fill a steamed collard green leaf with mashed yams, tempura chicken, and some cranberry sauce. Then roll it, slice it, and serve...

Monday, November 18, 2013
$31 - $66 from Sphyke »

Even if you're not an indignant, self-important cyclist with a $3,500 carbon fiber bike and a fat chip on your emaciated shoulder it really sucks when you lock up your manpowered transporter like a responsible citizen, only...

Monday, April 9, 2012
$59.95 - $69.95 from Prong »

Even as a stubbornly loyal flip phone user, I am overtaken by the brilliance of PocketPlug, a high grade polycarbonate iPhone case with a fully-integrated, retractable charger. And I hear the iPhone's battery power leaves...

Thursday, July 5, 2012
$25 from Etsy »

These patriots heard the battle cry of Team America, and hollered back an even louder Fuck Yeah! From Paul Revere's Midnight Ride on a Tron Light Cycle to Abe Lincoln wielding an M16 and giddy-upping on a grizzly bear to George...

Monday, June 17, 2013
Discontinued

Noooooo! As if there weren't enough things in this world to make me horny! Now R2-D2 is getting in on the tent pitching action? Etsy vendor Sceene Shoes, also of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bra fame, shares some Star Wars...

Monday, August 15, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

This is some real MacGyver shit right here. This kit has absolutely everything. And even though Bear Grylls was found to be a big fake and a liar and a fraud and gay, this survival kit will save your ass the next time you'r...

Friday, March 30, 2012
$134.16 from Amazon »

Bathe with the stars! Well, the battery-operated, not the hydrogen and helium gas, kind. Or the Jennifer Lawrence/Ryan Gosling kind for that matter. Still, the Homestar Spa, a planetarium for the bathtub, hot tub, or indoor...

Thursday, August 29, 2013
$100 from Wish.co.uk »

Simulate ZDay. Fight zombies. Know how Marty McFly felt when he walked down the streets of 1955. But you'll be even further back in time. You'll be in 1940, in the midst of WWII. Instead of fighting off your teenage mom's...

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Usually if beef jerky burns as it travels down my throat it's because I bit off a fat hunk and didn't chew it enough and the burn is due to an oversized mass of dehydrated meat threatening to puncture my esophagus as it lumbers...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

What I like about this Kraken umbrella is the inside, which features a giant Kraken. What I like significantly less about this Kraken umbrella is the outside, which features a mess of curlicued, doily-looking sea life and...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Discontinued

The 3D Converter system extracts pertinent data from any video game and translates it into 3D format viewable on any 2D or 3D TV. Yep, Frogger in 3D on my 18" Sony from 2005. Now I know what all those elderly people at the...

Wednesday, April 17, 2013
$99.95 from Bass Egg »

I received a Bass Egg vibration speaker of my own yesterday, and although it looks more like an egg that has been cut in half with both pieces inverted and then fused back together than an egg freshly ejected by a hen (it...

Friday, April 19, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

One time when I was in New Orleans this voodoo lady tried to sell me some bath salts under the guise that they would enlarge my manhood if I soaked in them while listening to Prince's "Sexy MF", but I said, "No thank you...

Monday, January 7, 2013
$49.99 from Amazon »

Why do people always diss Mark Wahlberg? He makes such quality movies with filthy-mouthed talking teddy bears. And from forth the cinematic masterpiece that was that Ted comes the the plush masterpiece that is this Ted. A...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014
$245 from Etsy »

Stereotypes collide in this brainy game meets brawny hardware Tool Chess set. Each piece has been handcrafted from real nuts and bolts, plus additional steel flourishes to distinguish powder coated black and white pawns, knights...

Monday, November 19, 2012
$60 from Etsy »

Why be the good guy or the bad guy when you can be both? The Batbane Mask, by Ministry of Masks, is a gnarly, handcrafted portmanteau word for the face. Batman fused with Bane fused with latex rubber. Does it get any better?...

Saturday, August 27, 2011
$33.25 from Amazon »

I've heard that a certain percentage of the time this stuff works every time. That's what I've heard. I'm not sure what those exact percentages are though. Oh, okay... I'm being told it's 60% of the time. Those are good odds....

Thursday, September 26, 2013
$29.49 from Amazon »

It's obvious what the Mangroomer is, so let's just cut to to the chase: what can this DIY back shaver do for you?...

Saturday, August 27, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

The nocturnal trouble maker's dream. Powered with UV light, you can now tarnish bridges, overpasses and subway stations without fear of your genius being hidden once the sun goes down. It's very complicated vandalism and you...

Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Discontinued

Back in July, New Orleans natives Trey DeArk and Terence Green ran a Kickstarter project for their slick reappropriation of the iPhone 4/4S' built-in LED camera flash and iOS' LED Flash Alerts called FLASHr. Now they're back...

Saturday, June 29, 2013
$23.44 - $40.62 from Etsy »

My Zombie Apocalypse plan is to collect things like hand grenades and hacksaws and tins of beans, and then collect them all in miniature charm versions to wear on a bracelet or necklace. Like, so I can show them off handily...

Wednesday, November 27, 2013
$179.99 from Amazon »

Good news, Clark Griswolds of the world. If you don't have 7 hours to spend staple gunning 700,000 strands of lights to your house this year, you can still xenon-bomb Julia Louis-Dreyfus and her husband out of their midnight...

Saturday, September 17, 2011
$75 million from Luxury Real Estate »

Maybe the most classically beautiful and inspired piece of real estate currently for sale in measurable spatial dimensions. An absolute knockout, and so innocent looking! Five shiny Sacajawea dollars say this PYT from Malibu...

Friday, February 21, 2014
$99.95 from DropLED »

To confirm the accuracy of its name, someone subjected the DropLED Pro Harsh Duty Bulb to a few tests. 300 direct hits to a cinder block. Crushing under a forklift. Placing against the interior side of Drax the Destroyer's...

Wednesday, October 10, 2012
$109.99 from GearUp »

"Crovel", like "spork", is a portmanteau word. It combines "Shovel" and "Crap! I'm gonna get impaled, sawed, and scooped all at once!" GearUp's latest in a respectable line of survival tools, the Crovel Tactical weighs only...

Saturday, January 21, 2012
$187.04 from Amazon »

Even though it's scaled to 1/20th of its original size, this historically accurate replica of Edward the First's response to the 1304 siege on his Stirling Castle could still probably catapult most of your neighbors' free-roaming...

Saturday, July 14, 2012
$89.99 from Amazon »

OUYA creators Julie Uhrman and Yves Behar have said it best: There is nothing more gratifying than chillin' on the couch in Goodwill scrubs and a Nightwing hoodie, sipping on grape Fanta, and getting the news that the princess...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Discontinued

Digital passwords, encryption software, purity rings, and LDS allegiance all claim to guard the goods, but they don't physically lock them. Said goods are still vulnerable to breaches, negligence, or too many shots of tequila...

Tuesday, April 9, 2013
$1.2 million from Hennessey »

Earning the title of World's Fastest Hypercar...available for consumer purchase...means hitting a top speed of 265.7 mph at the United States Naval Air Station Lemoore in Central California, and claiming to still have the...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

I feel like the Treadwall--a rock wall on a treadmill-style conveyor belt--might be the ultimate example of something that appears to be really easy, but in practice makes 80% of its users look like complete assholes. Kind...

Wednesday, May 2, 2012
$13.31 from Amazon »

Since most of us would rather be wet than dead, this water balloon variation on Russian Roulette is likely to generate a bit more participation and enthusiasm as a try-your-luck party game than its bullet-based counterpart....

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

No one complain that SeaDuction's amphibious cabanas are available only at tropical resorts, and not for public purchase, because I know that even if they were up for general grabs, all I would hear is more complaints: "Cool...but...

Sunday, February 10, 2013

While being on the receiving end of a buzzing, pesky winged bug's attentions can prompt minor fits of rage, I feel like if I could control the insect, and make it evoke these sentiments and actions from those who are not me...

Friday, April 27, 2012
Discontinued

What's better than a girl wearing skin-sucking Lycra pants with legs smattered in Tetris blocks? A girl wearing no pants. With an ass smattered in Tetris blocks. Just in time for the heat, the beach, and the pubescent teenagers...

Monday, December 31, 2012
$19.67 from Amazon »

People who cannot read Japanese rejoice. Dark Horse Books and Nintendo have published an English version of The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Historia, which is now available for pre-order. The Triforce unites and soars to the Western...

Thursday, April 18, 2013
$4 from Etsy »

I can't tell if these temporary tattoos are attractive or look like someone taped a doily to your eye, but I think girls will like them, so as a nod to girls, I'm going to award Man Nga Liu's makeup alternatives relatively...

Monday, December 2, 2013
$64.95 from Amazon »

At first I was like, This is the ugliest ugly Christmas sweater I've ever seen. It is so ugly it's not even ironic, it's just ugly. Then my (newly single!) friend Cornelius reminded me it looks like Will Ferrell as Buddy the...

Tuesday, November 15, 2011
By: Shapeways

Cobb's totem from the film Inception has ripped through the seams of fiction and is now available for purchase in stainless steel, glass, sandstone, and about a dozen other dreamy colors and materials. It spins 90 seconds...

Monday, December 3, 2012
$9.56 from Amazon »

The definitive building block of food porn now has its own erotic cookbook. Fifty Shades of Bacon, about damn time. Right, ladies? 'Cause I know once you satiate your carnally voyeuristic instincts reading Fifty Shades of...

Sunday, December 29, 2013
$80 - $150 from Etsy »

In stark contrast to how I feel about bellybuttons, if I got one of Shannon Conrad's interlocking LEGO rings, I would much rather have an outie than an innie....

Friday, April 5, 2013
Discontinued

The lamp is a 1" black iron pipe and its fixture is a vintage recycled glass insulator and the Mario hovering above the decorative green pipe is the light pull! Sweeeeet! Mama! I need to borrow 199 dollars. And 35 cents. No...

Sunday, February 3, 2013
$549 from Amazon »

I prefer to use my coffee table to play old school Nintendo, but I understand there are some out there even older school than I am who are more down with using theirs to play foosball. By the way, to those under the age of...

Monday, March 19, 2012

McFly! I pity the fool who lives in the UK, and doesn't get Pussy Galore on the road in one of these famed vehicle replica rentals. Yeah, baby! From Back to the Future's DeLorean and the A-Team van, to James Bond cars and...