Slice Ceramic Safety Cutter

$5.99 from Amazon »

Slice makes kinder, gentler tools in soothing hues to perform some of life's rigorous and thankless tasks. Such as opening boxes and impossibly-sealed packages. Hacking through shrink-wrap. Clipping coupons. At least...

SeV Sterling Store-Everything Jacket

$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Scottevest SeV Sterling jacket has 24 interior pockets. 24! That means it can hold my wallet (condoms), water bottle (lube), iPad (In Diana Jones and the Temple Poon DVD), sunglasses (vibrator), Bluetooth headset...

KettleClamp Adjustable Kettlebell

Sold Out from Amazon »

Turn your dumbbell into an even worse implement of corporal torture: a kettlebell! The adjustable KettleClamp secures to any size/weight of dumbbell, expanding its functionality to include the Russians' favorite way to...

Chocolate Zombie Bunny

$9.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Chocolate Zombie Bunny is what happens when you make an April Fool's Joke that sends all the little zombies into a frenzy of Easter basket demands, and then off on a killing spree when they discover the punchline....

How to Poo on a Date

$8.56 from Amazon »

Now that I've learned How to Poo at Work, plus How to Pee with Morning Wood, it's time I overcome my next, and perhaps my greatest, hurdle in life: How to Poo on a Date. How do I poo on a date? I've often wondered. Obviously...

HAL Robot Suit - Next Generation Prototype

Japanese robotics company Cyberdyne began their Hybrid Assistive Limb, or HAL trials in 2012. A powered exoskeleton endeavoring to turn humans into cyborg-type robots, HAL has been tested largely in medical facilities...

Water Hammock

$22 from Amazon »

This is what I'm dreaming of. Swimming pool season. Lazing in a water hammock. Hot blondes in little black bikinis. (The brunette in the little white one isn't bad either.) Over the hump of winter now, I can see it. All...

Wine Bottle Thermometer

$5.99 from Amazon »

I drink all my wine on the rocks, so I don't really need a wine bottle thermometer, but if you're into the whole tradition and preservation and quality thing, maybe you'd like to slip this thermal readout cuff onto your...

Mouse Taxidermy Kit

$49.69 from Firebox.com »

I hate to throw out a perfectly good dead mouse. It just seems like an anti-climactic payoff for the money I spend on traps and cheese. I'm glad to hear the people of London agree. According to Firebox, mouse taxidermy...

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Nintendo Controller Coffee Table

Giveaway: Nintendo Controller Coffee Table

This Nintendo controller won't help you navigate Link through the dungeons of Hyrule, but it will help you navigate beer and Cheetos from knee level to your mouth. Enter to win a premium hardwood old school Nintendo controller...

Toroflux Kinetic Flow Toy

$19.95 from Amazon »

Don't be fooled into thinking the Toroflux kinetic sculpture is just some stupid bracelet-slinky-figuratively-one-dimensional-girl-and-baby toy like I was. Watch the video. Like, beyond the first 10 seconds when the dude...

Erik Buell Racing 1190RX Sportbike

$18,995 from Erik Buell Racing »

And I thought cheese curds and Heather Graham were the best things ever to come out of Wisconsin. From the humble city limits of East Troy, Erik Buell is releasing his first big production motorcycle under the Erik Buell...

A Game of Thrones: The Board Game

$46.38 from Amazon »

The 3-1/2-minute video tutorial of A Game of Thrones: The Board Game jasonobi uploaded to YouTube is one of the better user videos I've seen of this nature. He explains the extensive rules succinctly, plays the TV series'...

Turtle Shell Wireless Boombox

$99.95 from Amazon »

Though not yet skilled enough to earn itself Ninja status, the Turtle Shell Bluetooth speaker does amount to more than your average armored reptile. Shockproof, dust-proof, and water-resistant even through a heavy rain...

Man Hands

$25.79 from Amazon »

As Jerry taught us nearly 20 years ago, ain't nothing like a lady with feminine wiles from the neck up and Goliath-sized monstrosities from the wrist down to kill all desire we have to get her into bed. One look at ol'...

SpareOne Emergency Phone

$57.95 from Amazon »

Not so much emergency as in your smartphone's battery died in the middle of placing a midnight Dominoes order and you can't find your charger. More like emergency as in you've been snow camping on a mountain for 3 days...

Darth Vader Toaster

$44.99 from Big Bad Toy Store »

Big Bad Toy Store says nothing--nothing!--about its forthcoming breakfast game changer, the Darth Vader Toaster, except this:...

Eye of Sauron Desk Lamp

$299.99 from ThinkGeek »

I'm getting this lamp and putting it on my desk with a Krispy Kreme donut or a piece of gooey butter cake in the spotlight's dead center. It will be the first time ever some a-hole doesn't steal my food at work. Because...

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9-1/2-Foot Remote Controlled Bald Eagle

$499.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

The bald eagle. The symbol of American freedom soaring majestically through the air. It's magical. Stirring. Glorious. It's...uh, it's flying kind of low. It's--holy crap! It's about to T-bone that tree! Cornelius, you...

Zipstrip Herb Stripper

$6.79 from Amazon »

I question this Zipstrip's ability to zippily strip cilantro stalks, which is pretty much the only (culinary) herb I'm aware of that doesn't make me want to sneeze and vomit simultaneously, but if you like rosemary, thyme...

Reloadable Confetti High Fives

$9.95 from Fiesta Five »

Did you know that National High Five Day is just 2 weeks away? Wait, let me back up. Did you know there exists such a thing as National High Five Day? It's the third Thursday of every April, or for our purposes, April...

NERF Nuke

$99.99 from ThinkGeek »

Though we've long since entered the nuclear age, NERF has always inexplicably resisted foamifying the most powerful bomb in the world into a play toy for children. That is, until now. Dribble your drool upon the NERF...

Wookiee Cookies: A Star Wars Cookbook

Sold Out from Amazon »

All I have to say is Wookiee Cookies better just be a treat Wookiees love and not a treat Wookiees are...you know...baked into. I don't need Chewie ginger snaps describing anything but the texture of my favorite after-work...

Amazon Fire TV Streaming Media Player

$99 from Amazon »

At first I wasn't sure if it was a good idea for Amazon to spend 42 seconds of its 60-second Fire TV video promo filming Gary Busey talking to his lamp, his pants, and his living room dinner bell, but in the end I had...

20-Pound Chocolate Lionel Richie Head

$833.19 from Firebox.com »

I didn't think there could be anything better than having a hot chick sculpt an enormous model of my head out of clay, but...Hello! Chocolate beats mud any day. Lionel Richie. You lucky bastard....

Inceptor - The Game of Your Dreams

$49 - $99 from Pilot Study »

Grab your totem, but be forewarned: Inceptor the board game has as many layers as the Inception film it stemmed from. If you play it in subdued lighting with Hans Zimmer's soundtrack blaring through some surround-sound...

Flip On/Off Alarm Clock

$42 - $49 from Amazon »

I see how the ease of just tossing a blaring alarm clock on its head to turn it off could be very dangerous for some people. If you don't have to work for the deactivation--dig for a minuscule button, chase a rolling...

Carbon Fiber Toilet Seat

$299.95 from Carbon Fiber Gear »

A gold toilet seat: ostentatious. Indulgent. Ridiculous. A carbon fiber toilet seat: inconspicuous. Practical. Awesome. It's not an extravagance, it's...it's...well, I mean you need a toilet seat, right? And you need...

The Fuzzbuster II

 

I know most of you have heard of a radar detector*. Possibly you've used one before. Maybe you've even tried the original Fuzzbuster. But whether or not you're aware of how life (and wallet and license points) saving...

Hippopotamus Lawn Ornaments

$55.85 - $79.81 from Etsy »

This is possibly the only lawn ornament that could increase both your property value and your popularity with the neighbors. Brit Martin Pool creates his hippopotamus garden sculptures in Daddy and Jr. sizes, and has...

Infant Circumcision Trainer

$192 from Amazon »

Expecting parents who want to trim the fat from ever-rising hospital bills now have the option to save over $2,000 if they are willing to trim the skin from their newborn sons. Created by Ezra Messer, a mohel with more...

Ticket to Ride Board Game

$35.99 from Amazon »

One of the most popular specialty games of all time, the #2 bestselling board game on Amazon, an average 5 out of 5 stars in over 1,300 reviews, and I've never even heard of Ticket to Ride. Where have I been living, in...

Dragon Sink Faucet

$58 from Amazon »

I can hardly stand the anticipation. Game of Thrones. Season 4. Less than a week away. I might pee my pants. Hey! Someone turn off that dragon sink faucet! It's not helping my continence! Hey, wait...a dragon sink faucet?...

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Lukas Car Dash Camera with GPS

Giveaway: Lukas Car Dash Camera with GPS

By: SpyTec »

No more he said, she said during fender benders. No more hit and runs. And no more friends calling BS when you tell them about the Jetta full of college cheerleaders who turned around and flashed you at a stoplight. ...

Foodini 3D Food Printer

$999 - $1,200 from Natural Machines »

I am 0% surprised that someone made a 3D food printer. If we can print jewelry and home decor and machine parts and sugar, why shouldn't we be able to print dinner? Barcelona-based company Natural Machines has created...

Star Wars: Jedi Academy

$8.64 from Amazon »

Well, Star Wars: Jedi Academy doesn't come in a sweet mechanical vault or reveal ancient secrets of the Jedi discipline like The Jedi Path, but I bet it will be an easier purchase to share with your kids. I mean that...

SmartMio Wearable Muscle Stimulator

$89 - $199 from SmartMio »

Getting ripped while sitting on my ass. It's the stuff dreams are made of. And, fingers crossed into a length of 550 paracord, the stuff SmartMio will be made of. SmartMio is a wearable muscle stimulator and app-based...

Sugru - Self-Setting Rubber

$22 from Amazon »

One time when I was a young boy I, like all young boys, wanted to hang a Tawny Kitaen poster on my wall. But I didn't have any poster putty on hand, so as an alternative I licked its 4 corners and stuck Tawny to my closet...

Bowling Pin Salt & Pepper Grinders

$65 - $120 from Pepperpins »

There's a dude named Tom in Oregon. When he's not teaching band to 4th and 5th graders, the dude is turning bowling pins into salt and pepper grinders. Look at that. They're an inventive, yet almost natural and called-for...

Cool Down Doggie Misting Leash

$32.17 from Amazon »

Why are we assisting dogs with a task they are supposed to be genetically predisposed to handling themselves? Aren't their fur coats designed by Mother Nature to insulate them both with and against heat? Isn't panting...

5-Port Multi-Device Charger

$25.99 from Amazon »

One thing I like to do is buy stuff. A lot of this stuff requires a charger. And none of it--none of it!--ever seems to require the same charger. Anker's compact and tidy 5-port USB charger claims to have enough ports...

Hamster-Powered Strandbeest

By: CrabFu »

Welcome to the world of I-Wei Huang. Artist. Animator. Tinkerer. Maker of hamster-powered Strandbeest. Strandbeest, if you aren't familiar with the term, are the walking brainchildren of Dutch artist Theo Jansen. In full...

Sarlacc Toilet Decals

Like most great ideas, Robbie Rane came up with his Toilet Sarlacc decals while hanging out with friends, having a few beers, and talking shit. One guy mentioned dropping the kids off at the pool. Another spoke of ending...

Banana Umbrella

$14.19 from Amazon »

Last week I showed you how you can protect your banana. So now it's time to explore how your banana can protect you....

Power Mitt Oven Glove

$39 from Power Mitt »

Amidst all this talk of 2014 being the year of wearable technology, Pete Hottelet's Power Mitt reminds me that the real year of wearable technology was 1989. Even though it's kind of the bastard child of Nintendo on account...

Bell Bullitt Retro Helmet

$399.95 from Amazon »

Bell hasn't been making helmets for quite as long as people have been smashing their heads open as a result of not wearing one, but 60 years is still a landmark achievement. The company released its first Bell Star helmet...

Snack Attack Cookie Cutters

$11.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Why do I need a cookie cutter with a bite taken out of it? I can do this myself. In fact, when I have cookies taking bites out of them is pretty much all I do. I like the shark though. Kids might dig this whole Snack...

Comics Coasters

$35 - $60 from Etsy »

Jason and Katie Lister of Apocalypse Fab must know that two of my favorite things in life are superheroes and beverages that sweat rings onto my mama's coffee table. They've made it so now I can have both. Simultaneously....

Spinning Turbo - Turbocharger Keychain

$5.99 from Amazon »

I turboed my motorcycle. I turboed my boat. I turboed my go-kart, my moped, my lawnmower. And last week I pulled off the turbo of all turbos: I sneaked into my preachy, pinched-nose, Aren't-you-going-to-recycle-that?...

MacGyver Toolkit

Discontinued

What's not included in the MacGyver Toolkit? According to iFixit, nothing but the mullet. For those of you too young to remember Angus MacGyver, here is what this pocket-sized secret agent's Altoids tin will get you one...

Eggling Crack & Grow Plants

$9.50 - $17.64 from Amazon »

Egglings are kind of a weird mash of concepts. Like, an egg is supposed to be a womb for growth, but if you crack it before the growth cycle is complete you don't get life, you get breakfast. With this egg though, if...

Aquapod Bottle Launcher

$33.95 from Amazon »

Who wants to try the Aquapod bottle launcher in their backyard? It shoots water-filled 2L sodie bottles up to 100 feet in the air with the assistance of nothing but its dock, a bike pump, and your foot. Got a beef with...

Aromafork Food Flavor Doubler

$38 from Amazon »

Promoting an enhanced eating experience, Molecule-R's Aromafork engages a set of 21 different aromas to involve your nose more directly in the tasting process. Foodies will be able to add an olfactive flavor such as basil...

Game of Gnomes: Throne of a Thousand Shovels

$55 from Etsy »

After their zombie gnomes ate most of the rest of the lawn ornaments, artists Chris Stever and Jane DeRosa had to go back to the casting board to create an installation that would return order to the front yard. Meet...

Electronic Playground

$16.28 from Amazon »

Electronic Playground. I'm seeing printed circuit board mazes, transistor & diode climbing walls, and ribbon cable slides. Monkey bars that individually alight in a spasm of LEDs. At least that's what I'm seeing in my...

Netatmo Weather Station

$142.41 from Amazon »

Compatible with Android and iOS, the Netatmo Urban Weather Station will track and provide comprehensive feedback on your immediate environment. It's an entirely personal weather device with one tracking module for interior...

Panny Key Block

$14 - $19 from Panny »

I've seen a Veruca Salt-sized Santa Claus sack of wallet and keychain "innovations" over the past few years, and while Panny may not turn the world on its head like the Coin card consolidator, it's definitely making a...

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The Star Wars Vaults

Giveaway: The Star Wars Vaults

All of the secrets and lost histories of a galaxy far, far away could soon be yours. Enter to win the profusion of lore and artifacts contained in this triumvirate of Star Wars Vault Edition volumes: The Jedi Path: A...

How to Pee with Morning Wood

$13.95 - $60.90 from Zazzle »

A self-help guide to dealing with the enormous issue I face first thing in the morning every single day of my life and it's packaged as whimsical wall art that will add immeasurable character to my bathroom? How to Pee...

Curling Pan - Shapeshifting Cutting Board

Right now Juan Lee's Curling Pan is just a concept. A wicked concept that Juan better make happen because a cutting board that curls up into a frying pan when it hits the heat of a stovetop burner? Holy balls that's some...

The Official DC Comics Super Hero Cookbook

$13.53 from Amazon »

Well I know I would like a Batman mini pizza and some Martian Manhunter cupcakes for lunch today. And The Official DC Super Hero Cookbook says it is suitable for use by people ages 6 and up, so even if my mama refuses...

Combat Daddy Equipment Diaper Bag

$119.95 from Amazon »

The Combat Daddy Equipment diaper bag: no Skoda Man Pram is complete without one. Combat Daddy Equipment's Model 1 carry-all for fathers who drew the short straw and have to take their kids to the park...or stay at home...

Portable Skee Ball

Here's a fun accident waiting to happen. Sorry about Grandma's porcelain ash urn, Mama! It's so hard to find Skee Ball machines outside of Chuck E Cheese's anymore. I guess they don't have the same bar-game allure as...

Intelliskin PostureCue Clothing

$80 - $130 from Amazon »

If your spine is headed toward Quasimodo-dom, but you don't want to shell out international shipping--or up to twice the base price in cash--for an Up Shirt, Intelliskin's line of shirts, tanks, tees, and sports bras...

Super Ear Amplifier Kit

$12.57 from Amazon »

When fully assembled, the Super Ear Amplifier amplifies ambient sound through headphones by a factor of 50. A wordsmith who goes by the name of "Amazon Customer" says, "It's like a hearing aid on steroids." Teach the...

Grass Printer

Designers Prof. Doh Han Young, Jeong Koo Hee, and Kim Min Hong recently won a Red Dot Award for their Grass Printer. As you might have guessed, the Grass Printer is a device that prints stuff in grass*. It literally mows...