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Industrial Cactus Lamp Sculpture

Discontinued

Welcome to the future. Or the past... I'm not sure which. One thing I am sure of is this lamp gives its owner instant style cred. Set this on your desk and you have an instant conversation starter....

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Pac Man Ukulele

Discontinued

This is a ukulele in the form of Pac Man and there's not much more to say about it, except that it will probably eat its own neck and strings before you have a chance to play it. The Pac Man ukulele is 12" wide and 28"...

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Stuffed Hamburger Press

Designed to make burgers better than ever, this innovative tool shapes perfect meat patties, then stuffs them with your favorite savory fillings. Fun and easy to use, it's perfect for all sorts of burgers, from juicy...

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Bear Grylls Ultimate Survival Kit

$48.17 from Amazon »

This is some real MacGyver shit right here. This kit has absolutely everything. And even though Bear Grylls was found to be a big fake and a liar and a fraud and gay, this survival kit will save your ass the next time...

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Darkfin Gloves

$25.95 from DarkfinGloves.com »

Ever wondered what it might be like to have webbed fingers? Wonder no longer. These durable latex rubber gloves will have you flying by other frogs in the water. Perfect for SCUBA diving, swimming, surfing, and even jumping...

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Idea Paint

So, you paint your walls with this stuff and it basically turns your house into a giant whiteboard. Then you can write all of your crappy ideas that you'll never follow through on all over your house. And, you could draw...

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AK47 Ice Cube Tray

$3.08 from Amazon »

I wonder what happens if you're choking on an ice cube? I think I would just calmly wait until it melted like a complete gangster. Though last week, I almost choked on my wad of 4 pieces of trident gum and went into hysterics...

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The World's Most Powerful Laser

$299.95 from WickedLasers.com »

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers'...

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Sloth Mask From The Goonies

Sold Out from Amazon »

Baby Ruth? Hey you guuuuuyyyysss!!!!!! Mama, you've been bad. Oh, Slothy. I may have been bad. I may have kept you chained up in that room but it was for your own good....

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Mario Kart RC Cars

$179 from Amazon »

These are fully operational replicas from the classic Mario Kart series on Nintendo and they're pretty damn awesome. Great gift for any Nintendo or Mario Kart fan. Best part, no blue shells to snatch defeat from the jaws...

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Camera Lens Coffee Mug

$12.15 from Amazon »

Yes, this is actually a coffee mug. I'll grant you, it is very detailed and looks just like a camera lens, but it really is a coffee mug. It is NOT a camera lens. Don't buy this and complain to me that the photo quality...

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Electric Paper Airplane Conversion Kit

$12.95 from Amazon »

Transform your crappy attempt at folding an air-worthy plane from a piece of paper into a wonder of technology only the 21st century can provide. Yes, now even the simplest form of transportation, the paper airplane has...

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Pet Jellyfish Tank

$365.99 from Jellyfishart.com »

This is one of the coolest products we've come across in a long time. These are real damn jellyfish swimming around in your house. This is a very legitimate site and has a solution for all budgets....

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Flying Shark Air Swimmers

$29.99 from Amazon »

This is a big ass shark that gets filled with helium so you can control who you'd like to kill with it. Check out the video after the jump for a better visualization of what I'm saying here. This thing looks pretty awesome...

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Zombie Doorstop

$19.95 from NeatoShop.com »

I once crushed a live chameleon that lived in my office underneath a door when I opened it. This is very similar to the way it looked after. I had to have my partner throw it in the dumpster after that....

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PowerBlock Classic Adjustable Dumbbell Set

$318.47 from Amazon »

For what you're getting here, the price cannot be beat. These are solid, easily adjustable and very easy to use. Ranging from 5 to 45 pounds look no further for your entire home gym needs than these dumbbells....

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Liquor Scented High Lather Soap Bars

$6 from Etsy »

These are really cool and come in all sorts of flavors. They taste great and if you're not too drunk by the end of your shower, you stand a 50/50 shot at getting clean too... although you'll still smell like last night....

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Yosemite Paddle Boards

I've seen people standing on these paddling half way across the damn ocean, flirting with whales and Loche Ness monsters and shit. They're hand crafted, measure 11 feet 3 inches, feature simple, timeless designs, and...

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Bullet Chess Set

This ammunition inspired chess set is made using spent .223 bullet shell casings. One side uses steel casings and the other side uses brass casings. The kings and queens are the only 4 pieces with an actual bullet re-set...

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Zen Style Modern Ashtray

Sold Out from Amazon »

This modern Japanese ashtray comes with zen garden pebbles to make you feel more at peace with your decision to pollute your lungs with the sweet and savory taste of the wonderful nerve calming smoke of a cigarette. Cigars...

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The Ex Knifeholder

$149.99 from Amazon »

You can't stab your ex for real. Well, you can, and some do, but our jails are really getting crowded. So use this instead. It has the additional benefit of keeping your knife situation tidy. It also comes with 5 new...

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Sekhmet From the Toypocalypse

Discontinued

This creature is made from the deaths of other toys.... after they're recycled first to make Al Gore happy. He stands 10 inches tall and has at least 5 different ways of killing you if you count squashing your head like...

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Double Machine Gun Chuck Norris

Discontinued

Just when you thought Chuck Norris couldn't get any cooler. Enter double machine gun Chuck Norris. Set this guy on your desk as a loyal companion, or by your front door as a crap in pants inducing bodyguard or a nice...

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Gameboy iPhone Cover

$17.99 from Lootiful.com »

This is pretty badass and very well made. The iPWN! Case for iPhone 4 fits AT&T models perfectly and you'll surely be the only person you know that has one... unless you know a bunch of other geeks....

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His and Hers Key Holders

$39.99 from Amazon »

Do you lose your keys like some kind of retard all of the time? Do you have a nagging wife that you can't get rid of? Then this is the perfect item for you. Also makes a good housewarming gift....

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Nintendo Gameboy Dress

$74 from Etsy »

Finally. A way to combine your one true love and the girl you're currently boning. This handmade, handcrafted dress will surely lead to a handjob if you're smart enough to buy one for your girl....

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iPlunge Phone Stand

$14.39 from Amazon »

There is not a doubt in my mind that this is made for guys who masturbate while watching porn on their iPhones. And why not?...

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Origami Napkins

Sold Out from Amazon »

Instead of sitting there with a scowl on your puss banging your knife and fork against the table, learn a little ancient Japanese craftsmanship with this set of origami napkins. At 40 per package, these should keep you...

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Circular Saw Pizza Cutter

$12.42 from Amazon »

This is pretty cool. Looks like it might provide a little better leverage than your average pizza cutter. The cutter has a removable shield for easy clean up and a stainless steal blade. Dishwasher safe (only way I know...

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Dragon Style Toilet Paper Holder

$48.16 from Amazon »

This toilet paper must first pass beneath the smoldering nostrils of the legendary dragon, ruler of the skies, defender of kingdoms, maker of kings, before... cleaning the brown bits off of your butt hole....

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Play-Doh Cologne Spray

$39.50 from Amazon »

Damn son. If you're the kind of guy that wears cologne, then this is the perfect cologne for you. Makes you smell like a little kid again, which is really the only time you should wear cologne....

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Self Sustaining Ecosphere

$47.99 - $399.99 from Amazon »

Sea monkeys anyone? More like tiny shrimps. A bit redundant, but that's what's in there. No diaper changing. No picking up shit with a plastic bag. No feeding. No nothing. These are the best friends money can buy. Buy...

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IWC Aquatimer Galapagos Islands Chronograph Watch

$6,900 from IWC »

Do you want to get laid? I mean REALLY get laid. I know you do. And this is just the kind of watch that can accomplish that all on its own. Walk into a bar and order a Glenlivet, neat. Reach out with your left hand to...

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Inflatable Water Ball

$500 from Opulent Items »

Jesus will have nothing on you if you just buy this ball. You'll be walking on water in no time. It looks like it would be a huge pain in the ass to blow it up though. I know my pack a day habit would make it very difficult...

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Shelby Supercars Tuatara

Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packing right here. I've got four-eleven positrack out back. Seven-fifty double pumper. Edelbrock intake, bored over thirty, eleven to one pop up pistons. Turbo jet, three ninety horse...

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Vintage Style Medic Messenger Bag

$16.99 from Amazon »

These messenger bags are really getting out of hand. Do guys really have that much crap to carry around? I guess if you're a guy who has to carry around his sketch pad or idea book and an apple or some shit all day, this...

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Grand Leather Bean Bag Chair

These look like they would be good for two things. Playing video games and sitting in while you're high. If you want to have the perfect day, get high, sink into this beauty and turn FIFA socer 2011 on the PS3....

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See Through Bottom Canoe

Sold Out from Amazon »

Ahhh. It's a see-through canoe/kayak that seats two and provides the perfect setting for a romantic, yet adventurous date of paddling the high seas and taking in all of its technicolored fishies, regally swaying anemones...