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Bacon Flavored Chocolate Bar

$12.95 from Amazon »

The sweet and the salty, all in one meal. I think we're getting past the everything is better with bacon phase in America, but this chocolate bar could slip through the cracks into my everyday diet. Three hundred pounds...

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Home Soda Making Kit

$75 from Amazon »

This is some Willy Wonka shit right here. You take normal everyday water, and this machine turns it into soda, or sody as my grandma would have called it. It's almost like a machine that takes regular old paper and turns...

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Recycled Mail Sack iPad Case

I personally like to let my devices roam naked, but if I were gonna purchase something to make my device bulkier and larger for no reason (my hands work fine for not dropping things) this would be it. I just like that...

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Ice Luge

$20.43 from Amazon »

It's been a while since I've done an ice block shot. Too long. This seems like a really good housewarming gift. Tell me you're not gonna be the life of the party if you show up with this thing. And come solo because you're...

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Mechanical Christ Series - The Fast Supper

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I don't even know how to describe this. I think it's both the scariest and coolest thing I've seen all week. It's like a combination of Star Wars and Mad Max. I can here my mom already, "Why do you want something like...

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Wolverine Style Hand Claw Dagger

$44 from Amazon »

What the WTF Amazon? You're in the weapons trade now? These costume-y looking hand claws have real blades of razor-sharp, 8.75-inch, 440C stainless steel, which make them exponentially and disturbingly more portentous...

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6350 Camino De La Costa

$29.5 million from Yahoo »

Trophy home alert! Ah... finally, a quaint little cottage with a water view. That's all I ask for. Not much. And although moving is a hug PITA, this place seems like it might ease the blow. It might even be fun if I was...

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Vampire Killing Kit

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I need one of these for sure. Not just for display either.... For killin'! Some creepy dude named The Somber Raven made these Vampire Killing Kits and they're pretty legit. You can tell they're what's bolstering him from...

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Sucker Punch Babydoll Costume

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I lost everyone I loved. And then they locked me away. With no where to hide from the pain. Until they came out with this hot costume. Is there anything better than a woman in uniform? Does anyone have any good Tomb Raider...

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Hopside Down Beer Glass

$12.99 from Amazon »

I like to keep my beer almost slushy it's so cold. And I never disrespect wood. These double wall glasses are the perfect solution. They help insulate your drink from your fat, hot, grubby little hands while keeping your...

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Pick Your Nose Paper Cups

$9.39 from Amazon »

Cyrano de Bergerac's dream cups. When sippers tip their heads to take a drink, it appears they've grown a different nose and sometimes even a mustache. The pack includes a total of 24 cups, evenly divided between male...

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The Villa Mar Vista Estate

$19.95 million from Yahoo »

Do you have $20 mil burning a hole in your shorts? It's worth less every second as we watch the financial world crumble beneath us. And you know what they say, "buy land, God ain't makin' any more of it". Well, we've...

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Message Bean

$18 from A+R Store »

A message bean? Usually I depend on tea leaves to tell my future, but a bean is seemingly just as arbitrary and unreliable as tea leaves, so this should be the perfect way to make some serious life decisions. Or, you...

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Brodmann Blades Ping Pong Paddles

$49.95 from Amazon »

These make a lot of sense actually. The paddle essentially becomes your hand giving you much finer control over each forehand slam and backhand slice. Great for beginners and experts alike....

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Hand Tattoos

$7.44 from Amazon »

Become an instant hit with you nephews and nieces (or your own kids if you're fertile/not sterile) with these temporary hand tattoos. Having trouble figuring out what to get toddlers for their birthdays? Just get them...

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Domsai Terrariums

$150 from A+R Store »

The future is here. Unlike those pedestrian technical toys that require "feeding," the Domsai is high design and beautiful and actually requires a bit of water and sunlight. But you can leave them unattended for long...

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Mini Fire Extinguisher Lighter

$5.89 from Amazon »

I don't know if this is a work of art or a tool to help give you cancer. Either way, it's pretty powerful. And pretty ironic. I'm thinking about picking up a couple of these myself and giving them away to all of my smoker...

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Rotring 600 Drafting Pencil

$33 from Jet Pens »

There is nothing better than knowing you're writing down your daily to do list (probably the same damn stuff you wrote down the day before, and before that) with a superior writing instrument. And that's exactly what...

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Porcelain Mahjong Set

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Yep, Mahjong existed before computers. And really, it works just as well with these smooth 3D tiles. So, if your grandma's birthday is coming up, or you're a loser like me that needs to find a way to pass countless hours...

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Star Wars Cookie Cutters

$19.95 from Williams Sonoma »

Luke (inhale, exhale) I am a cookie. Simple way to turn your stupid, boring, crappy cookies into something out of this galaxy. God I love cookies. If you don't like cookies, try the pancakes....

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Marvel Superhero Brownie Pan

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I don't know shit about baking, but I know plenty about eating. And these are gonna taste better than your average cupcake or brownie. And if they don't you can smash them into each other and see which one is the toughest....

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Biofuel Caffeinated Popcorn

Sold Out from Amazon »

This just might be the stuff I need to get me through the next movie I have to watch with my girlfriend. I mean, I'm not a little kid, so I don't really eat popcorn, but it could work. Who could stay awake for an entire...

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Chocomize Bars

$6 from Chocomize »

I used to have to sell chocolate bars for little league when I was a kid. $1 per bar. I marked them up to $2 and pocketed a dollar for myself, then usually ate half of my inventory. It seemed to work out pretty well....

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Bill Solo T Shirt

Imagine if you will the genius of one William Murray playing Han Solo instead of that old hangdog expression you're used to from Harrison Ford. Maybe Star Wars could have finally become the comedy it aspired to be. Maybe...

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The Evolution of Video Game Controllers

The complete evolutionary tree of the video game controller, tracking 82 species and 9 genera over four decades. Printed in rich indigo ink. My favorite is still the Intellivision controller which was basically a phone...

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Dunhill Silver Turbo Sport Series Lighter

Sold Out from Amazon »

The Rolls Royce of lighters. If you're anything like me (and you're probably not) you lose lighters as quickly as you buy them. But, I have a feeling if you drop close to 5 bills on this beauty, you're gonna make damn...

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Super Mario Latex Dress

$205 from Etsy »

Hot. Sexy. Latex. When I think of Mario Bros. those are definitely the first 3 words that come to mind. And this latex dress captures that perfectly. I wonder how sweaty I would get if I tried to put that thing on? Not...

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Ultra Realistic Silicone Zombie Mask

$689 from SPFX Masks »

These masks look like they come straight out of James Cameron's head. Super realistic masks will even fool your wife! Personally, I'd buy this with a chainsaw and a flip video camera and try and scare the shit out of...

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Portable Ping Pong Set

$39.95 from Amazon »

Obviously, this will be used for beer pong, but no matter whether it's used for its intended use, or to get girls drunk enough to sleep with your ugly face, this is a pretty genius idea. I can't tell you how many times...

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KOZO 2 Desk Lamp

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Industrial style desk lamp made from galvanized cast iron piping. This is a masculine piece of lamp that will tell your visitors that you ain't messin' around while you sit at your quaint little desk and read celebrity...

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Rogue From X-Men Costume

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It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and...

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Industrial Cactus Lamp Sculpture

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Welcome to the future. Or the past... I'm not sure which. One thing I am sure of is this lamp gives its owner instant style cred. Set this on your desk and you have an instant conversation starter....

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Pac Man Ukulele

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This is a ukulele in the form of Pac Man and there's not much more to say about it, except that it will probably eat its own neck and strings before you have a chance to play it. The Pac Man ukulele is 12" wide and 28"...

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Stuffed Hamburger Press

Designed to make burgers better than ever, this innovative tool shapes perfect meat patties, then stuffs them with your favorite savory fillings. Fun and easy to use, it's perfect for all sorts of burgers, from juicy...

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Bear Grylls Ultimate Survival Kit

Sold Out from Amazon »

This is some real MacGyver shit right here. This kit has absolutely everything. And even though Bear Grylls was found to be a big fake and a liar and a fraud and gay, this survival kit will save your ass the next time...

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Darkfin Gloves

$25.95 from DarkfinGloves.com »

Ever wondered what it might be like to have webbed fingers? Wonder no longer. These durable latex rubber gloves will have you flying by other frogs in the water. Perfect for SCUBA diving, swimming, surfing, and even jumping...

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Idea Paint

So, you paint your walls with this stuff and it basically turns your house into a giant whiteboard. Then you can write all of your crappy ideas that you'll never follow through on all over your house. And, you could draw...

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AK47 Ice Cube Tray

$3.47 from Amazon »

I wonder what happens if you're choking on an ice cube? I think I would just calmly wait until it melted like a complete gangster. Though last week, I almost choked on my wad of 4 pieces of trident gum and went into hysterics...

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The World's Most Powerful Laser

$299.95 from WickedLasers.com »

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers'...

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Sloth Mask From The Goonies

$29.99 from Amazon »

Baby Ruth? Hey you guuuuuyyyysss!!!!!! Mama, you've been bad. Oh, Slothy. I may have been bad. I may have kept you chained up in that room but it was for your own good....

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Mario Kart RC Cars

Sold Out from Amazon »

These are fully operational replicas from the classic Mario Kart series on Nintendo and they're pretty damn awesome. Great gift for any Nintendo or Mario Kart fan. Best part, no blue shells to snatch defeat from the jaws...

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Camera Lens Coffee Mug

$17.99 from Amazon »

Yes, this is actually a coffee mug. I'll grant you, it is very detailed and looks just like a camera lens, but it really is a coffee mug. It is NOT a camera lens. Don't buy this and complain to me that the photo quality...

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Electric Paper Airplane Conversion Kit

$12.95 from Amazon »

Transform your crappy attempt at folding an air-worthy plane from a piece of paper into a wonder of technology only the 21st century can provide. Yes, now even the simplest form of transportation, the paper airplane has...

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Pet Jellyfish Tank

$365.99 from Jellyfishart.com »

This is one of the coolest products we've come across in a long time. These are real damn jellyfish swimming around in your house. This is a very legitimate site and has a solution for all budgets....

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Flying Shark Air Swimmers

$29.99 from Amazon »

This is a big ass shark that gets filled with helium so you can control who you'd like to kill with it. Check out the video after the jump for a better visualization of what I'm saying here. This thing looks pretty awesome...

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Zombie Doorstop

$19.95 from NeatoShop.com »

I once crushed a live chameleon that lived in my office underneath a door when I opened it. This is very similar to the way it looked after. I had to have my partner throw it in the dumpster after that....

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PowerBlock Classic Adjustable Dumbbell Set

Sold Out from Amazon »

For what you're getting here, the price cannot be beat. These are solid, easily adjustable and very easy to use. Ranging from 5 to 45 pounds look no further for your entire home gym needs than these dumbbells....

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Liquor Scented High Lather Soap Bars

$6 from Etsy »

These are really cool and come in all sorts of flavors. They taste great and if you're not too drunk by the end of your shower, you stand a 50/50 shot at getting clean too... although you'll still smell like last night....