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Powdered Peanut Butter

$4.44 from Amazon »

Not since Grow Toys and Sea Monkeys has the simple addition of water created a miracle of Powdered Peanut Butter caliber. Obviously, the 85% reduction in fat and calories renders it more a loose approximation of peanut...

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Tap Your Fruit Juice Sprayer

By: Quirky »

This ingenious concept product is getting ready to go into production. The juice is so much tastier when it comes directly from the tap. Stick the "stem" right into your favorite sprayable citrus fruit (lemons, limes...

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Gift Complaint Form

I've often wondered why it is they have to ruin Christmas with gifts. Shouldn't we be paying more attention to Jesus than each other? And how long do we have to keep up the charade? The smiling. The fake excitement. The...

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Boxed Wine In Ammunition Case

$80 from Thrillist »

Drawing a profound visual parallel between alcohol and weaponry, this ammo case of wine of is slick, sexy, and loaded with 3 liters of artisanal heat, but is likely to cause death and destruction if it falls into the...

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Pancake Plates

I can't think of anything bad to say about this product. It's not particularly inspired (it's just a plate with an extra level for syrup to pool into) but it does exactly what it is supposed to do. And it's certainly...

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Macbook Air Compact Mirror

Discontinued

Steve Jobs, the visionary that was Apple Computer, it is said had one dying wish. One last insight into the culture he helped create. And that insight brought us the Macbook Air Compact Mirror for ladies to see what they...

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Bear Paw Meat Handler Forks

Sold Out from Amazon »

After I kill a deer, skin it with my bare hands, and eat its still beating heart, the last thing I wanna do is touch the raw meat. That's why I use these aptly named Bear Paw Meat Handlers when I handle my meat. Gone...

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Animal Cruelty Laser Mate

$17.95 from Amazon »

Ah perfect. Pets are great... until they impose on us in any manner. Cuddling on the couch and receiving unconditional love? I'm in. Taking them out, walking them, playing with them... that's kind of a nuisance. It really...

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Toilet Bowl Coffee Mug

$12.99 from Amazon »

Previously reserved for the likes of your dog, your cat, your children and you after 10 shots of whatever the cool person shot currently is, now, you can enjoy your favorite wake-me-up drink from the rims of your own...

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Candy Corn Scented Candles

Sold Out from Amazon »

Oooh, candy corn scented candles! Cooooo...wait. What does candy corn smell like again? Oh yeah. Candle wax. That makes the creators of these festive little treats either dirty con artists or ingenious capitalists. More...

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Fake Window Light

Discontinued

Natural sunlight is overrated, but slatted blinds and electroluminescent lighting are even more badass than their hype. Cash in on coolness, and brighten up your basement apartment or 10 x 15 cubicle with this simulated...

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Big Gay Inflatable Snowman

$199.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

This "casually" posed inflatable snowman certainly makes a statement "lounging" in your pristine front lawn. And that statement is that two gay guys live here. Five internal lights illuminate the snowman, making him look...

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Pet Peek Dog Window

$38.99 from Amazon »

The Pet Peek is a 9-1/2" acrylic dome installed in your pre-existing wood or vinyl fence that instills the pant-wetting fear in Jehovah's Witnesses, kids selling little league raffle tickets, and other unwanted visitors...

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Airplane Window Picture Frames

$99 from Design Boom »

Korean designer James Kim has forged this clever way of showing off the countless aerial photographs of cities and cloud formations you take from your window seat after reading the Sky Mall magazine cover-to-cover and...

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Wooden Palette Drink Coasters

$21 from Design Boom »

That special forklift operator in your life is gonna flip when he unwraps this set of 5 weather-beaten pallet coasters! They're an exact Mini Me to the standard industrial euro pallet, replete with quality stamps and...

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Due For Delivery Date Maternity Shirts

Discontinued

Cute. Now everyone will stop asking. Available in pink or blue ink so you won't have to field that one anymore either. Say, how filling in all that white space with the rest of the questions you're tired of answering?...

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Alcohol-Infused Whipped Cream

In the true spirit of the holiday season, here comes a little gift that will make you even more fat and drunk. Whipped Lightning turbocharges ordinary canned whipped cream with 36.5 proof grain alcohol and 12 mostly-tasty-sounding...

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Alphabet Chairs

Make a cozy word and alight it with punctuation. Tabisso lounge chairs are customizable by fabric, color, shell, and footing in letters A to Z, and numbers 0 to 9. Your initials, the logical choice, will add whimsical...

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Baby Dumbbell Rattle

Sold Out from Amazon »

In a pickle because you skipped the birth of your first child to compete in the 2011 CrossFit Games? Make it up to your wife, and prepare your bundle of joy for the road of high intensity interval training that lies ahead...

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Bionic Bopper Cars

How many times have you been THIS CLOSE to punching someone in the face, only to be thwarted by interfering friends, the possibility of assault charges, or the sad realization that the would-be recipient could snap your...

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Dragon Incense Box

$27.90 from Amazon »

Win the favor of Daenerys Targaryen AND cover up the smell of weed in your bedroom with this Gothic dragon incense box. The smoke wafts from his nostrils and, when placed near papers or articles of clothing, he will breathe...

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Monkey Lights

$57.99 from Amazon »

Don't just make sure they see you coming, make sure they have a seizure when they see you coming! Monkey Lights elicit ocular anarchy in 32 LED colors with programmable patterns, and maintain their function in all weather...

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Turntable Ring

$351 from OYE Modern »

This Christmas, give a turntable ring to your favorite 50-something frenemy along with a copy of A Visit from the Goon Squad, and grab a front row seat for the launch Mid-Life Crisis Part II. The record is even made of...

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Barcode Tattoos

$7.50 from Barcode Art »

Not quite ready to make today's ironic tat trend a lifelong companion? Or even a week-long reminder that corporate America condemns those with conspicuous body art to careers in food service? These peel-off barcode tattoos...

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Slice Of Pizza Sleeping Bag

$200 from Etsy »

A handmade, hand-dyed work of slumber and art that's stuffed with recycled quilts, lined with satin, and delivered to your door in 30 minutes or less. A scented model is currently in the works to increase the likelihood...

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Inner Message Ring

$169.99 from Infmetry »

It's the relationship and commitment hairshirt! Currently available in "Always" and "Marry me", Inner Message Rings are the perfect way to say, "If you really love me, you'll wear this ring that never stops gouging your...

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Combat Garden Gnome

$65 from Etsy »

People just can't wait to pervert emblems of peace and goodwill, can they? First the benevolent garden gnome goes zombie and now he's Charlton Heston. Still, at under a foot tall, these combative cuties make perfect pairs--or...

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Bacon Flavored Lube

$11.99 from Bacon Salt »

When we, collectively as Americans, stumble onto something that catches on with the unintelligent majority, we immediately begin the process of running it into the ground. See: The Kardashians, Myspace and... bacon flavored...

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The Levitron

$99.99 from Vat 19 »

The Levitron? Sweet. Someone is selling a 0-gravity amusement park ride. I bet you sit on the hovering black disc and try not to get bucked off as it bounces and spins wildly, right? And for only $99.99, you could probably...

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Throwable Panoramic Ball Camera

Isn't everything that isn't a Kardashian bank account or body part supposed to be getting smaller? Especially image-capturing devices. But this throwable ball camera is uncomfortably large. It appears to have the same...

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Swiss Army Flash Drive

$800 from Swiss Army »

File your nails, open an impossibly packaged plastic container, pen a love letter, find your way through the dark when the electricity goes out, stab a would be mugger, and store 128 GB of files protected by an advanced...

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Gingerdead Men Cookie Cutter

$6.11 from Amazon »

GingerDEAD men. Huh. I wonder if the concept led to the name, or the name to the concept. Sometimes it's surprisingly hard to tell how people who go for obvious puns think. Anyway, have fun trying to frost between the...

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Inception Totem

Cobb's totem from the film Inception has ripped through the seams of fiction and is now available for purchase in stainless steel, glass, sandstone, and about a dozen other dreamy colors and materials. It spins 90 seconds...

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Presidential Wrestling Ornaments

Discontinued

Condoleezza Rice recently appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart to promote her memoir, No Higher Honor, and provide his liberal loyalists with fresh ammo for mocking her. Ms. Rice accomplished at least one of the...

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Branding Iron For BIC Lighter

$22 from Shapeways »

Hey moms! Check it out... No more searching for that perfect stocking-stuffer for your teenage son. Customize these to say whatever it is you'd like... that's 5 characters or less. This is actually a pretty creative idea...

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Commodore C64x Extreme

Discontinued

And finally, after more than 25 years, the long awaited update to the Commodore 64. This was my very first computer actually. My dad took me to NYC where he was shooting a commercial for a toy company. They had all of...

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Han Solo Carbonite Chocolate Bar

$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term...

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Pure Smoke

$147 from Ellusionist »

More mysterious than how Pure Smoke works or what it's made of is why the spontaneous appearance of smoke is so cool. In other contexts, such as while baking, performing basic electrical upgrades, or 10 miles into your...

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iPawn Interactive Game Pieces

$16 from Firebox.com »

Turn your iPad into a virtual board game. Wait... isn't it already that and much more? Isn't this engineering in reverse? Aren't these tantamount to a real 3D bookmark for iBooks? Who cares, I'm getting them anyway. Steve...

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Pain Is A Bitch Bandages

Most of these obscenity bandages seem apropos for the injuries they will cover, but who yells, "Balls!" after slicing through Tallman instead of the onion? Seriously, is "Balls!" really anyone's go-to vulgarity when overcome...

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Alice In Wonderland Ring

Discontinued

If you're going to have a trippy terrarium ring protruding 3 inches from your finger, it may as well be filled with characters from the most bizarre tale of an acid trip ever passed for children's literature. Too bad...

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Crossbow Snowball Launcher

$38 from Amazon »

Concussion, anyone? The Crossbow Snow Launcher blasts a sizable wad of hard-packed snow up to 60 feet to strike the included target (yeah, like that's ever making it out of the box) or wallop your deserving victim. Schoolyard...

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Facebook Reminder Birthday Card

Sold Out from Etsy »

This is one of those "It's funny 'cause it's true" jokes, isn't it? However, there are two inherent problems with its marketability. 1) Any sender who would get the joke would never take the time to obtain a mailing address...

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The Inbred Silicone Mask

$710 from SPFX Masks »

I've been wanting to resemble an inbred my entire life. It's a difficult look to pull off though...convincingly at least. And without the look, my hopes of heading off into the sunset of the foothills of West Virginia...

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The Halloween Ring

Sold Out from Etsy »

A scene from a scary movie is sculpted in polymer clay under a glass dome and you can wear it on your finger. The perfect goth inspired engagement ring perhaps? Certainly a terrific conversation piece at the very least....

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Medusa Animated Halloween Bust

$37.49 from Amazon »

Somehow, Medusa and her snake head dress has been stolen from Greek mythology and now appears to be a spokeswoman for Halloween, a holiday with Roman origins. My only real knowledge of her comes from Clash of the Titans...

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Ulala Space Channel 5 Costume

Discontinued

The year is 2499 AD when a group of punk aliens land on Earth and start demanding that people dance. Oh, it's my worst nightmare. And delivering the blow by blow of me butchering every dance move in a non-ironic way will...

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Remote Control Spaceman

$35.52 from Amazon »

"I'm a rocket man, burnin' out my fuse up here alone". Wait, this is battery operated, and radio controlled. What are batteries made out of? Manganese dioxide.... ok. That doesn't roll of the tongue quite as well. I always...