Hoglet Fidget Mouse

$39.99 HedgeHog Health »

Thank you, Hoglet fidget mouse, for bringing me a piece of unexpected joy this week. Though designed - in the likeness of an adorable hedgehog - for kiddos with autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, and other "learning differences,"...

KATANA Personal Safety Smartphone Wallet

$72.40 Amazon »

See that notch on the KATANA personal safety smartphone wallet? And the tab the lady is pulling on to draw something out of the back of the cardholder? Guess what it is. Nope. Not a katana. Not a sword at all. It's a...

E69: What Is This Thing?

Sold Out Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 69 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

Hedgehog Dryer Balls

$8.99 - $9.99 Amazon »

Important Note from hedgehog dryer ball online retailer, HONANK: "These cute hedgehog balls are only suitable for drying, they are not suitable for washing, because they can hardly withstand the number of rotations during...

Baby Yoda Marshmallow-Stuffed Chocolate Ball

$9.99 Amazon »

Know what a Star Wars The Mandalorian Holiday Milk Chocolate Ball filled with surprise The Child marshmallow treat means? It's time for Baby Yoda to learn what it feels like to be the frog. I can already hear a holiday...

Friends Advent Calendar: The One With the Surprises

$19.79 Amazon »

What goodies lie behind the doors of the 2020 Friends Advent Calendar: The One With the Surprises? Miniature versions of a gold peephole cover, a turkey wearing sunglasses and a fez you can use as Christmas tree ornaments?...

Reebok Ghostbusters Ghost Smashers Shoes

$150 Reebok »

My wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, is not a fan of Reebok's Ghostbusters Ghost Smashers Shoes. They contain a word in their titular description that P's her right O: "Men's." On the store page for the Ghostbusters collab...

Copper Ion Face Mask by Tekto

$29.99 Tekto Gear »

Copper-infused and sewn with five-layer filter technology, the Copper.Ion Face Mask from Tekto will turn you into a superhero. A bacteria-killing, incoming- and outgoing-particle-thwarting superhero. And a superhero who...

Ice Scraper Mitts

$9.99 Amazon »

The biting morning cold. The cringey sound of the scraper. The reach across your windshield that has a 50/50 chance of tweaking your back. The damp, frozen, useless hand you're left with right when it's time to grip your...

Butter Twist - Spread, Cut, Measure, Dispense & Store

Sold Out Amazon »

I didn't say an empty Butter Twist looks less like a kitchen tool for spreading, cutting, measuring, and storing your sticks of butter than it does a male masturbator. You said an empty Butter Twist looks less like a...

Hormel Bacon-Scented Face Mask

#BreathableBacon and the Hormel bacon-scented face mask it refers to are, surprisingly, one of the least surprising hashtags and products of 2020. Honestly, the sexy (and elusive! More on that later.) Hormel Black Label...

LED Soap Dispenser with Light & Motion Sensors

$11.17 Amazon »

This light- and motion-sensing LED soap dispenser from Soap Brite would make a sudserrific gift for the kids out there who need some enticement to wash their hands. With its 7-color spectrum of festive, soothing, and...

LG Rollable Screen OLED TV RX

$87k LG »

Know what LG's OLED TV RX means? A rollable screen. Just like the one your high school teachers used with the overhead projector and dry erase markers, but with Self-Lit Pixels, Dolby ThinQ AI, Vision IQ, and an $87,000...

Quarantine King Card Game

Discontinued

If you've spent the last 6 months hoarding toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and face masks to win at the game of life, you probably think you're already the Quarantine King. But. Would you be willing to put your bathroom...

11 Ravens Luxury Gaming Tables

11 Ravens' luxury gaming tables are going to cost you...a helluva lot more than 11 ravens. But, with designs available for tables sporting billiards, ping pong, foosball, air hockey, shuffleboard, poker, mahjong, and...

This list of the worst Halloween candy in the land is based on my personal (albeit expert) opinion, so there's obviously a small bit of subjectivity to it. (Spoiler alert: there's also a large Bit-O-Honey.) Some notable omissions include candies I know a lot of you despise, but that I kinda liked...

Can Colander

$6.75 Amazon »

What, the Can Colander thinks it can just plop on into my canned tuna and black beans, and take away the joy of slicing my finger when I attempt to use the sharp aluminum lids I just cut off them to strain out the liquid?...

FultonFishMarket.com The Fish Drop Subscription Boxes

Striped bass. Dry jumbo sea scallops. Porgy. Porgy! Like my belly's lookin' these days! Which is another benefit of The Fish Drop seafood subscription boxes from FultonFishMarket.com: the fin fish, scallops, shrimp, oysters...

Travelon Windshield Cleaner & Defogger

$12.30 Amazon »

Cold car, hot bodies. Sudden downpour. Frikkin' frost and snow. The Travelon Windshield Cleaner & Defogger wipes windows clear of condensation. (How ya like that 5-star alliteration, Mrs. Casey from the 6th grade?) You...

SmithFly Cabana Raft

$1,999 SmithFly »

Your zen moment of Monday: the SmithFly Cabana Raft. Floating in the hot sun on a cool lake. Bobbing in the ocean with a daiquiri in one hand and a selfie stick in the other. Takin' the Cabana Raft down to the swimmin'...

Magic Tap Automatic Drink Dispenser

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Using the Magic Tap, an automatic drink dispenser, isn't about being too lazy to lift a gallon of milk or Costco-sized bottle of OJ out of the fridge, and then heave it up to pour in my coffee or bowl of Poop Like a Champion...

Face Mask for Dogs

$9.98 - $10.99 Amazon »

KN95? How about a K995? It's not just the 'rona pet owners might consider a face mask for dogs to protect their pooches from. It's the smoke from forest fires. The construction debris from a kitchen remodel. The pollen...

Flame Effect Light Bulbs

$16.99 - $39.99 Amazon »

Brainstorm! These flickering flame effect light bulbs burn blue or orange atop an E26 bulb base - i.e., the standard size for most of your lamps, electrically wired skeletons, and Uncle Fester...

Kitchen Squeegee & Countertop Brush

$10.39 Amazon »

In thinking of what to tell you about this kitchen squeegee and countertop brush combo, I started thinking a lot about the word "squeegee." And then I started saying "squeegee" over and over again in my head. And you...