A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Monday, January 27, 2014
$33.07 from Amazon »

When my friend Cornelius pulls his breaded raviolis out of the deep fryer on Sunday I am going to recommend he season them with a click quarter teaspoon of oregano and a click, click half teaspoon of basil from my auto-measure...

Sunday, January 19, 2014
$170 from Amazon »

It's pretty simple: your valuables; your safe; your fingerprint. BARSKA's biometric guardian of cash, firearms, last wills and testaments, and treasures you stole from Smaug allows keyless access only to those with the correct...

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I'm afraid online ordering options for the cyborg flesh treatment have yet to make it to Amazon. In fact, should you want an anatomical anomaly tattoo so whiplash-inducingly realistic and infatuating it gets mistaken for professionally applied prostheses and makeup, you'll probably have to make a quick trip to Venezuela, where Yomica Moreno, the extraordinary tattoo artist responsible for these...

Monday, August 19, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Getting pummeled and concussed by a 350-pound defensive lineman as I fumble the team's potentially game-winning TD during the last play of the 4th quarter still might be worth it if I had a pair of Under Armour's Alter Ego...

Monday, February 17, 2014
$11.02 from Amazon »

Stereotypically, they're awkward. Unathletic. Unpopular. Nasally. Know-it-alls who got no game. In reality, they run the world. And maybe a lot of the 21st century's geeks still do possess some of the qualities of those from...

Wednesday, February 27, 2013
$1,800 from Etsy »

Here's something awesome I did yesterday: drove to the coffee shop, parked my car in the garage underneath, regaled you with a small handful of product descriptions, and then walked home. Boy was I surprised a couple hours later when I went outside fixin' to take the Mazda for ice cream. The moral of the story is, people with only half a brain should not be trusted with guns. That's why I don't...

Wednesday, August 7, 2013
$19,999 from Polaris »

Even though the Polaris RZR XP 1000 is obviously a gnarly off-road beast, the first words that come to mind when I look at it are "dune buggy." What a sissy name for any legitimate form of motorized entertainment. A dune buggy...

Saturday, August 3, 2013
$100 - $500 from Stikwood »

Stikwood happens when real wood from the likes of oak and maple trees meets, say, duct tape with an infallible 10-year adhesive lifespan. As 1/8" thick panels with peel & stick strip backings, Stikwood installations fit against...

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Believe it or not, the blue and green in this image are actually the same color. Seriously. No, I'm not joking. I was calling my eyes liars too, but it's true. If you save the image and open it in Photoshop, you'll clearly...

Wednesday, March 27, 2013
$39.99 from StatGear »

The T3 Tactical Triage & Auto Rescue Tool came forth into the world from the cranial loins of NY City Paramedic Avi Goldstein. Or maybe he just picked it to be part of his online store StatGear's survival inventory. Either...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013
$161.09 - $241.59 from Firebox.com »

Do you see what it says on one of the drams in the Gin Advent Calendar?! Professor Cornelius! Professor Cornelius Impleforth! I can't stop laughing! Partly due to the thought of my friend Cornelius being a professor, and partly...

Wednesday, November 7, 2012
$16.87 from Amazon »

1. Check out the video above of a dude dumping Hershey's Chocolate Syrup on a white Keds tennis shoe treated with NeverWet. 2. Be amazed by NeverWet's water-, oil-, and apparent chocolate-syrup-repelling technology. 3. Read...

Saturday, April 13, 2013
$173 from Seeed Studio »

Whether or not this nano quadcopter flies is entirely up to you. I mean up to your skillz. The Crazyflie is an open source DIY kit primed for development and hacking, but its assembly demands proficiency in soldering, and...

Monday, October 21, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

Stink Yourself Slim is not a joke. It's not a gag gift or an Instructables project some dude made at home to give to the lardass who hogs all of the chocolate long johns when someone brings donuts to work. Yeah, I know. It...

OMG
Saturday, August 27, 2011
By: Hilton

Amazing restaurant / hotel suite under the crystal clear waters of the Indian Ocean off the coast of the Maldives. Is there a cooler hotel room in the world? No. The answer is no....

Saturday, January 18, 2014
$99.99 from Amazon »

Exergaming isn't new to the scene. From as far back as the NES Power Pad for track events to modern day fitness programs on the Wii and Kinect for jumping around with digital Shaun Ts, someone is always trying to slap masks...

Tuesday, December 17, 2013
$950 from Jellio »

To quote Freddie Mercury, "Is this real life? Or is it just fantasy?" Let's see...well, according to the $950 subtotal in my Jellio shopping cart, it is real life. Oh boy! Real life now has furniture that looks like ice cream...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
$119.99 from Etsy »

Link's Hylian Shield meets Link's Master Sword meets the touch, the feel of cotton, the fabric of our life. Geeky U has created a means of battling Ganon and rescuing Princess Zelda in comfort with the shop's Legend of Zelda-inspired...

Friday, July 27, 2012
$19.99 from Amazon »

Great. Something to make the guy in the cube next to me even more hyperactive and annoying. I wonder how fast he'll be able to recite all the state capitols after chugging 32 ounces of the world's strongest coffee. Death Wish...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

What I like about this Kraken umbrella is the inside, which features a giant Kraken. What I like significantly less about this Kraken umbrella is the outside, which features a mess of curlicued, doily-looking sea life and...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$12.35 from Calligraphuck »

Ah. It seems Mr. Garrison has forayed into the business of paper products. Merry Fucking Christmas. Come on, you know you want to sing along as you read it. Maybe tie a little Mr. Hat plush to the ribbon if you're one of the...

Tuesday, January 7, 2014
$14 - $19 from Food Huggers »

Haha, so long Ziploc bag press 'n' seal tracks that don't frikkin' press 'n' seal! I've got rubbers to keep my leftover produce safe now! OK, technically 100% BPA-free, FDA grade silicone, but the point is Food Huggers have...

Wednesday, December 18, 2013
$1k from Blade HQ »

This dual-bladed evolution of bladesmith Brian Tighe's Nirk Tighe won Most Innovative Custom Design at the 2012 BLADE Show. Now what I wonder is if the Buy Tighe knife is really so outstanding that it's worth a cool grand...

Sunday, October 20, 2013

What stands between you and the driver's seat of a precise, officially-licensed roadworthy replica of the 1966 Batmobile? One year and a few zeros, my friend. The most iconic of all the Dark Knight's transportation iterations...

Thursday, December 26, 2013
$114.99 from Amazon »

I have exactly two recurring dreams. One is about 12th grade calculus and my having to take a final exam even though I did not realize I was signed up for the class, and the other is about not being able to remember my locker...

Sunday, September 23, 2012
$700 from Etsy »

From the meticulous maestro who brought us the Aliens M41A Pulse Rifle comes a similarly immaculate replica from Judge Dredd. Fabricator The Kingpin touts his custom-made Lawgiver as a precise copy of the one Judge Stallone...

Friday, May 3, 2013
$590 - $2,300 from loopwheels »

People out there lucky in the sense that they know how to ride a bike but unlucky in the sense that doing so jars their spines and brains and generates great discomfort in the crotchal region, say hello to Loopwheels. Loopwheels...

Monday, February 27, 2012
$12.56 from Amazon »

What if your bar of soap's slivered remains could transform from flat to stacked with no hassle, no waste, and no complex procedures or anesthesia? Simply and terrifically brilliant--like so many Kickstarter projects--Stack...

Sunday, June 3, 2012
$3,300 from Bionic Concepts »

JP Rishea masterminds a legion of sick conglomerations of metal and power, but the Exo-Gauntlet is probably his most irrationally needful of them all. I guess one could technically argue that it has a few practical applications...

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$42.87 from Amazon »

I used to want one of these 3D hologram makers. Now that I see Mirage's version floating around the TARDIS maybe I still do. I heard this one's not only bigger, but also tangible on the inside....

Saturday, July 28, 2012
$179.95 from WickedLasers.com »

It's the 21st century. Who buys a flashlight whose only capability is to shed light anymore? When I'm looking for my 1:12 scale Voltron in the attic, hunting zombies in the Ozarks, or self-examining my throat for the white...

Sunday, September 1, 2013
$79 from SparqEE »

Getting up off the couch to go make a cell phone sounds even rougher than getting up off the couch to go make a sandwich. But if you're up for either, good on you. I recommend pastrami and swiss on rye for the sandwich, and...

Monday, January 6, 2014
$60 from Sabrina Fossi »

Now when you say "ToastyMUG," Sabrina Fossi, do you really mean toasty? Like, warm and soul-soothing? Or do you actually mean scorching and my choice of second degree finger burns or dropping the mug and spilling its steaming...

Monday, October 8, 2012
$159.99 from Amazon »

This portable fireplace will slide right in anywhere you need heat, ambience, romance, or S'mores. At 11" high x 14" wide x 5" deep, 8-1/2 pounds, and capable of heating areas of up to 375 square feet it's an easy and relatively...

Sunday, September 22, 2013
$34.95 from Archie McPhee »

I believe all children with no existing physical or mental impairments who think they're hot little shits should be required to wear these giant lobster claws on their hands for a day to learn how it feels to be different...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014
$9.78 from Amazon »

When I was little Mr. Spock and Dr. Spock were names thrown around on TV and in my household with equal regularity, so for years I thought they were the same person. It seemed only mildly strange that a pointy-eared human-vulcan...

Saturday, February 11, 2012
$89.99 from Amazon »

The high altitudes of Nepal, Machu Picchu, and Denver may naturally administer pulmonary resistance that conditions human lungs, and improves athletic endurance, but who wants to spend the time and money to travel there? More...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012
$249 - $299 from Griz Coat »

I just named a bear one of my Top 10 choices for animal reincarnation, and now, as if in answer to my plea to the forces of nature, the Griz Coat is back. In time for winter. In time for the holidays. In time for looking like...

Friday, March 14, 2014
$65 - $100 from Stamp Yo Face! »

Haha, all dudes in a relationship are about to get the gift of a rubber couples' stamp. Every envelope, every paper lunch sack, every note to empty the dishwasher and fix the toilet and change the filter in the air conditioner...

Friday, December 27, 2013
$25 - $45 from RIPT »

Pipes, mushrooms, a Cape Feather or two, and it's even a real, useful map of the New York City subway system. The Super Mario NYC Subway Map salutes Super Mario World in its pixel-by-pixel mass transit trek through 16-bit...

Monday, October 21, 2013
By: TACTILU

I'm not sure technology will ever truly succeed in delivering remote hugs, kisses from across the world, and sweet caresses to the face and wiener, but it's sure as shucks gonna keep trying. One of several tech-savvy firms...

Thursday, January 9, 2014

It's like a cordless drill, except desirable for use on a tire. That is, when applied the automatic inflator will shoot air into the tire instead of puncturing it and letting air out. Though using a cordless drill for the...

Monday, October 1, 2012
$61k from Cardok »

Boy do I hate having to park both the Porsche and the Lambo on the front circle drive. It really detracts from the visual splendor of my gilded front door and Batman topiary. What, a retractable underground parking space whose...

Monday, August 26, 2013
$33 from Unikia »

Compleat's FoodSkin seems like a better idea than a Ziploc bag because your sandwich won't rip or fall apart as you stuff it inside or later try to yank it back out. And it seems like a better idea than saran wrap because...

Thursday, July 18, 2013
$53.15 from Amazon »

I've observed my fair share of pet fish poop over the years--both floating at the surface of my aquarium and during the fabrication process as it emerged from its host--and I feel very uneasy at the thought of it serving as...

Sunday, September 15, 2013
$399 from GSelect »

My 5th grade teacher often asked me if my head was filled with concrete, and at the time I got the sense it was an insult, but now that I see the beatific masterpiece that is 22 Design Studio's 4th Dimension Concrete Wrist...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013
$29.99 from Rollie »

Something about the cylindrical results of the Rollie Eggmaster cooking system makes me a little uncomfortable. Is it that the tube of eggs looks too artificial? Too space agey? Too science projecty? Too anal probey? I can't...

Monday, August 19, 2013
$328 from droog »

The perfect gift for anyone who never learned how to swim! Especially if you swap their standard bedding out with this set of lake sheets on the DL, and then make sure they don't head back to bed until they're too drunk to...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Though restricted to 30mW and 1.5W laser rather than actual plasma energy, Patrick Priebe's replica Plasma Cutter from the Dead Space video game series will still singe a block of wood and sear through a trash bag, and make...

Monday, March 26, 2012
$219.99 from Got Vape »

Mary, Mary quite contrary, how does your ganja high grow? With eighths and screens and heat-activated steam, I've got a VaporBLUNT in tow! A VaporBLUNT is a portable vaporizer with a ceramic, battery-powered heating element...

Thursday, December 26, 2013

What's better than filling a water bottle with water? Filling a water bottle with beer! And what's better than filling a water bottle with beer? Inserting an entire bottle of beer into the water bottle! Wait...do what? Why...

Saturday, April 20, 2013
$62 from Etsy »

I love beef, and I love girls, but somehow the combination of the two doesn't work so well for me. The cuts of meat diagram on this dress carries implications of objectifying women and also cannibalism, and that is so disturbing...

Thursday, August 25, 2011
$13,500 from Etsy »

My theory is that this might actually be Optimus Prime and this guy has captured him, found some way of disarming him, and is now trying to sell him. I don't know if I'd be comfortable sleeping with this guy roaming around...

Tuesday, December 11, 2012
$7,950 from Animi Causa »

Though I am not a tennis fan, given that the opening line of Animi Causa's product copy for their balls lounger is, "The Feel Deluxe is made of 120 soft and extremely pleasant balls," I am very happy that it's the tennis kind...

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Cufflinks that brandish all-caps disclaimers and warnings? My interest is piqued. Sparrows, peddler of lock picks and other Houdini-style tomfoolery, introduces Uncuff Links, wrist adornments that inconspicuously incorporate...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013
By: Nexersys

Nexersys calls their King of the Ring arcade game a "virtual fighting ring" but one look at all those full-contact pads and the surrounding cage and I am 95% sure that I would sustain non-virtual injuries while using it. Drawings...

Tuesday, March 20, 2012
$2,500 from Amazon »

The most disturbing thing about a 55-gallon barrel of lube is not so much that it's a flippin' 55-gallon barrel of lube, but that a 55-gallon barrel of lube costs over $2,000. I mean, I know people want to have this sort of...

Thursday, October 17, 2013
$99 - $249 from Avid Union »

Maker Enthousis says their Shield Tech jacket (and hoodie) line has superpowers. And I'm not even going to call BS on that claim. Anymore, any piece of equipment--or in this case, wearable textile--able to save my identity...

Saturday, July 14, 2012
$31.11 from Amazon »

Carry the SOL Origin Survival Kit, and the next time you're up shit creek it will supply all the tools you need to build a paddle. Small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, the survival kit is housed in an indestructible...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

On the one hand, we don't really need 2013 calendars since we're probably not going to live to see 2013, but on the other hand, the Year of the Dead calendar brims with extremely hot and voluptuous zombie ladies in lingerie...

Sunday, May 6, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

He is the first Avenger. An unparalleled patriot whose loyalty, stealth, and shredded abs have kept America safe from the likes of Doctor Faustus, Viper, and HYDRA since 1941. And now, motorcycle-riding superhero devotees...

Saturday, June 8, 2013
By: Sonte

Wi-Fi enabled digital shades that apply to glass surfaces as a 0.4mm thick film, and turn from clear to opaque in a single second at the touch of a button. I'm not easily impressed by things that aren't edible or boobies...

Thursday, November 14, 2013
$19.93 from Amazon »

When I was 6 years old my babysitter forced me to sit on a skateboard with her and roll down the ominously steep street on which we lived. About halfway to the bottom my suspicions that her idea was a terrible one and she...

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Mmm, mmm that baby looks good enough to dunk in guacamole and drizzle with Cholula. I'm a little confused about the tortilla swaddling blanket's accompanying hat though. Why does it have a knot in it? Aren't tamales the Mexican...

Thursday, December 26, 2013

I don't know too much about Lexington, Kentucky. Well, really I don't know anything about Lexington, Kentucky except that beginning Spring 2014 it will be #1 on my list of vacation destinations. In Spring 2014 Ninjas, an indoor...

Saturday, May 18, 2013
$210 - $395 from PJ Reefs »

"A self-contained, low maintenance REEF that will light up any desk with brightly colored coral." So goes the blurb on PJ Reefs' desktop-sized saltwater aquarium. I have to say, mine eyes are digging the brightly colored coral...

Wednesday, December 18, 2013
$21.95 - $154.52 from Amazon »

It's the graphics for a travel brochure. It's Q4 performance spreadsheets and their accompanying presentation slides. It's a thesis on the association between country music and suicide. Fine. It's really just Call of Duty....

Monday, January 28, 2013
$385 from Boone Rings »

The next generation of bottle opener rings settles into a titanium home. With roommates. Designer Bruce Boone has thrown ultra-sharp twins Straight Blade and Serrated Blade, wily bad boy, Saw, and ...yahtzee!...the dapper...