A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, March 19, 2014
$9.50 from Amazon »

You are 1,500 live ladybugs away from an aphid-free garden. Aphids are also known as plant lice. Sick, huh? I mean, I have no clue about plants, but I do know a thing or two about lice (thank you very much Alex from third...

Tuesday, October 2, 2012
$104.99 - $149.99 from Amazon »

It's about that time of year. The time that anyone with a new roommate starts to assess exactly how he or she feels about said roommate. Best bud, mortal enemy, tolerable nuisance, unfortunate insertion into the human race?...

Sunday, January 5, 2014
$15k from indiegogo »

Remember the Cocoon 1, a means for people to leave the bubble of their computer screens and living rooms, and enter a bubble plopped down in the middle of a park or the general admission area of the next Slipknot show? Now Pjadad, the designer of the spherical personal space, has collaborated with soundsters ST to expand his public isolation concept to include audible as well as physical detachment....

Sunday, April 7, 2013
$61.34 from Firebox.com »

What sucks is that you're either blessed with a dense thatch of chest hair or you're not. There's no cultivating it, no sprinkling of fertilizer that will encourage it to grow. The only legitimate option for those bereft of...

Tuesday, June 18, 2013
$1,500 - $2k from LiveMap »

Though specifically in development for use on a motorcycle, I'd probably wear the LiveMap helmet while driving and walking as well. Its built-in navigation system and voice-controlled interface allow those rolling 'round the...

Friday, May 10, 2013
$265 from Delta Six »

The Delta Six might be the coolest looking gaming gun I've ever seen. I would consider buying one even if I couldn't use it for anything but picking my nose and curling up with on the couch at night (the latter particularly if the Megan Fox-looking chick were still holding it). That it actually functions as an open-source arduino rifle and virtual annihilator makes any attempt to resist backing...

Thursday, March 13, 2014
$12.27 from Amazon »

If Dynaflo's Liquid-Armor works, here's some happy news for people whose screens ever have unhappy run-ins with keys, rain, and dust particulates. Packaged in a 10 mL bottle (about 50 sprays), Liquid-Armor applies to smartphone...

Thursday, October 31, 2013
$16 from Amazon »

The Married Kama Sutra: The World's Least Erotic Sex Manual extols both the wild and nuanced interactions of married life, and categorizes them--with illustrations--into the next echelon of the ancient Indian guide to mind-blowing...

Monday, January 21, 2013
$59.99 from Amazon »

Hey kids, not only will Bushnell's Torch flashlight illuminate the bogeyman and monsters under your bed, its blast of a 165-lumen, perfectly square HD beam of light will probably blind them long enough for you to grab your...

Thursday, May 8, 2014
$254.99 from Amazon »

You and your Armies of the Confederacy aren't so scary at 1/6th your size, are you General? Whoa. What?! Did you just swing one lightsaber in each hand and a third in your left foot at me, Grievous? Crap. You have fully-articulated...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Saturday, January 25, 2014
$34 from Amazon »

I feel like Bas Rutten made a similar, but much sexier-looking version (uh, relatively speaking) of this Breathslim weight loss contraption. His O2 trainer gets a lot of impassioned feedback here, both from advocates and BS-callers...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014
$14.95 from Amazon »

So, uh...you think that Obol girl in the video is 18? I mean, I'm just asking. Out of...academic curiosity. And as a way to make anti-soggy cereal bowl conversation....

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Dudes, watch the whole video. Or at least fast forward to the final 20 seconds to behold the reasons why your life will not reach its full potential until it can count Laser Gloves as part of it. The match-igniting, balloon-popping...

Tuesday, April 30, 2013
$699 from Amazon »

The 6' x 18' WaterMat is bigger than most rafts, more portable than most rafts, and won't suck so much air from your lungs during assembly that you start to feel lightheaded and then pass out and then fall off the side of...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
$19.99 - $26 from Amazon »

Medieval knight helmets. That's what hip nanas who know what it means to give their grandsons street cred crochet. Now I don't know if Dee Forrest is a grandma, but she's definitely privy to what the cool kids these days are...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Usually when people describe themselves they inflate the truth or do that reverse psychology trick where they say a bunch of self-deprecating things in an effort to convey the opposite meaning. In both cases they would like...

Friday, March 15, 2013

I wonder which is less comfortable: Jimmy Kuehnle's Invisible Bike or Jimmy Kuehnle's invisible outfit. In other words, would you rather require rectal surgery or pass out from heat exhaustion and develop a full-body rash?...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
$499 - $629 from Indochino »

Style. Connectivity. Protection from hypothermia. When 21st century power players dress to impress, kill, or otherwise command the respect of their minions, they wear Indochino's Nanotech Storm Suit. Disclaimer: If you are...

Friday, October 18, 2013
Giveaway: Rattlerstrap Venom - Paracord Belt 86
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

It's a Dude first. Rattlerstrap has designed the Venom, a limited edition paracord belt, just for our reader giveaway. Which means the winner will be the first--and one of the only--marines, bush pilots, hunting guides, photographers...

Thursday, March 7, 2013
$24 from Amazon »

5 minutes to a breakfast sandwich. No drive-thru on earth can beat that...mainly because of the whole leaving the house and driving to the drive-thru portion of the equation. Otherwise I guess most of them could. If there...

Thursday, March 13, 2014
$45 from Kropserkel »

One-upping the severed horse head pillowcase: Kropserkel's severed Horse Head Pillow. It's morbid, yet surprisingly plush and comfortable, revenge in 3D! Send one to the vegetarian who always launches into a lecture about...

Thursday, December 5, 2013

I would call Belcampo's Bacons of the World quarterly sampler pork crack, but in this case, I think it would allude to an entirely different--yet still likely very tasty--part of the pig, rather than the addictive, euphoria-inducing...

Sunday, June 9, 2013
Discontinued

Even in the virtual world, when it rains it pours. Not only is the ARAIG (As Real As It Gets) multi-sensory feedback suit the latest in a recent lineup of virtual gaming enhancement gear, but it has also joined VR immersive...

Wednesday, June 18, 2014
$56 from Best Made »

I've heard stories about people both being attacked by and staging attacks against warthogs (college Psych 101 professor, Uncle Joe from Pensacola). Now you can reap the benefits of the latter without suffering the former....

Sunday, May 25, 2014
$16.81 from Firebox.com »

Mmmm, nothing cures a hangover like more carbs and alcohol. Though Birra Spalmabile, or Spreadable Beer, contains no actual alcohol, it does contain 40% beer--Atla Quota Greta, to be precise. Sounds Italian. And while the...

Wednesday, May 29, 2013
$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

While I do not believe in buying other people gifts in honor of holidays for which they do not also have to buy me a gift, Father's Day is on the horizon, and this Tactical BBQ Apron could perhaps serve the dual purpose of...

Saturday, February 23, 2013
$9.95 from Shittens »

When you're sittin' on the john and the toilet paper's gone, be a man, use your hand...or get some Shittens. Protecting ourselves from fecal matter should be a priority right up there with wearing sunscreen and planning for...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
$245 - $345 from Etsy »

I guess I've been in a serious relationship with Jack Daniels for long enough now that I'm willing to don his ring and announce it to the world. Especially a ring as slick as this one. Check out the genuine used JD white oak...

Tuesday, April 23, 2013
$16.99 from Amazon »

If you missed out on the Chain Link Zombie Slayer Axe, console...and arm...and shock & awe yourself with this sick little zombie killing knife. Combining the functionality of a kitchen cleaver and the intimidating aesthetics...

Monday, February 27, 2012
$224.99 - $249.99 from Optics Planet »

According to the cats in the OPMOD Battle Mug video, you can do everything with this souped up, military-spec, solid aluminum beer stein that you can do with your AR. Deck it out with a scope, laser sight, holo sight, any...

Sunday, May 4, 2014
$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

This LEGO-esque utensil set makes me want to glue interlocking bricks to everything I own for easy wall storage on a baseplate. Belts, hats, game controllers, wallets, phone cases, underwear. I could wallpaper my entire room...

Friday, March 14, 2014

You can make all the tender meat jokes you want, but when it comes down to it, you know you like tender meat. I like tender meat. Tender and infused with flavor. Mmmmmm....

Sunday, May 19, 2013
$10.95 from Sam's Natural »

Application of Sam's Natural Down There Repair fixes two major male discomforts and social embarrassments: chafed crotch and smelly crotch. It can also be used preventatively, thwarting these afflictions from striking down...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
$75 - $945 from Etsy »

In the words of the great Missy Elliott's lyrical masterpiece "Ching-A-Ling", "This is serious maaannnn!" Etsy vendor ZDay Survivor's extensive collection of hand-chiseled, zombie-eradicating blades and bludgeons don't just...

Sunday, November 17, 2013
$347.52 from Amazon »

The Junior Devastator is an 80-shot rubber band gatling gun that "sprays rubber bands like a hose sprays water." Two points on that. 1) I wonder what Daddy Devastator looks like. 2) The JD is the third, and probably the most...

Wednesday, November 21, 2012
$149.99 from Vat 19 »

Oh look, a snake that can kill you without biting, constricting, or even being alive. At 84" long, 26.9 pounds, and a staggering 36,720 calories, the Gummy Python will inflict anything from hyperglycemia to ruptured intestines...

Saturday, September 22, 2012
$64.99 from Amazon »

Maker Volante Design calls this Assassin's Creed fashion statement the Kenway Jacket, and includes a lot of nonsense about how it is available with two closure options to make it either symmetrical or asymmetrical, but really...

Sunday, January 27, 2013
$199 from NinjaBlocks »

The only thing I know about Hackers is that Angelina Jolie makes a hot one, but according to Ninja Blocks, that's enough to qualify me for the job. Of a hacker, not Angelina Jolie. Though I could probably pull off the latter...

Saturday, March 17, 2012
$50.29 from Amazon »

We wondered too, but the answer is no. blk. black bottled water is not part of an SNL skit la black caulk or Colon Blow. It's a real artesian spring water from aquifers in Canada's Sandiland Forest Reserve. And it takes...

Friday, March 21, 2014
$18.95 from Amazon »

When fully assembled, the Super Ear Amplifier amplifies ambient sound through headphones by a factor of 50. A wordsmith who goes by the name of "Amazon Customer" says, "It's like a hearing aid on steroids." Teach the kiddos...

Thursday, February 2, 2012
Discontinued

Better make sure you've got both of Rinzler's identity disks before heading into battle with the wife for permission to drop $1,300 on this form-molded set of leather badassery. UD Replicas made 750 TRON full body motorcycle...

Wednesday, March 6, 2013
$175 - $795 from Etsy »

Latex Star Wars Stormtrooper attire comes in a variety of cuts and styles so that all body types can find one that's suitable and flattering. And if you buy that I've also got an instant, no-fail national economic recovery...

Saturday, May 31, 2014

A campfire in a bag. Green Light Fire Bags include all of the ingredients you need to get one roaring in 30 seconds or less. Sealed inside the re-purposed paper livestock feed sacks are cuts of USDA-approved kiln dried firewood...

Thursday, January 9, 2014
$11.79 from Amazon »

Just when you thought you could enjoy a glass of beer without having your face bitten off by a shark. First the aggressive sea dwellers infiltrated our coffee mugs, and now it's our cold beverage containers. I hear they're...

Thursday, August 22, 2013
$59.95 from Biopop »

Oh boy, it's like a dinosaur mixed with a firefly mixed with that neat-o photosynthesis word I learned in middle school. Dino Pet, a compilation of living, bioluminescent organisms called dinoflagellates housed in an apatosaurus-shaped...

Saturday, September 21, 2013
$580 from UD Replicas »

If you prefer to be the villain, hold a special place in your heart for Bane and his anesthetic tarantula-mouth mask, or just don't feel ballsy enough to wear the molded leather chest plate, gauntlets, and butt huggers fashioned...

Wednesday, December 18, 2013
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Necessity, she is the mother of invention. Even if it takes decades--no, centuries!--of jagged edges and misshapen triangles. Of someone popularizing the word "rustic" to justify the serving of sloppy, ugly food. Necessity...

Monday, August 12, 2013
Sold Out from Citizen Brick »

Would LEGO ever produce and release a Breaking Bad Meth Lab? Probably not even if its CEO and Board of Directors were all required to inadvertently step on an errant brick once an hour, every hour of the day, every day for...

Wednesday, February 5, 2014
$75 - $350 from Amazon »

Defense wins games. (Right, Peyton?) Defensive driving prevents accidents. Proof of self-defense averts jail time. And a Pelican crushproof barrier defending your laptop against fat Aunt Jan tripping over a strap of the backpack...

Sunday, December 29, 2013
$59.99 from Amazon »

This is the time of year that we gather up all the crap we got for Christmas and return it/sell it on Craig's List so we can use the money to buy the stuff we really want. Like the Vault Edition of Book of Sith: Secrets from...

Friday, October 4, 2013
$59.95 from XYZbot »

In the grand spirit of rubber band guns--and according to Rubber Band Machine Gun creator XYZbot, there is indeed a grand spirit and subculture of rubber band guns in Japan--we present your favorite organization, binding...

Monday, January 30, 2012
$3,475 from Fresh Polos »

If the acute fear of being assassinated on the golf course has kept you from swinging your 9-iron too many times to count, welcome to the start of the rest of your life. Breezy, bulletproof, and cleared for the country club...

Thursday, March 20, 2014
$291.02 from Amazon »

Well I know I like that square beam HD flashlight Bushnell makes so I have similarly high hopes for their Equinox Z, a digital night vision monocular with 6x magnification. The after-dark locating and sightseeing device has...

Friday, May 9, 2014
$249 from Amazon »

I like how anymore anything that's not a "smart" whatever it is gets labeled a "dumb" whatever it is. According to Quirky, which recently made Dr. Garthen Leslie's Aros Smart Window Air Conditioner available for purchase...

Friday, April 4, 2014
$499.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

The bald eagle. The symbol of American freedom soaring majestically through the air. It's magical. Stirring. Glorious. It's...uh, it's flying kind of low. It's--holy crap! It's about to T-bone that tree! Cornelius, you ball...

Thursday, January 5, 2012
$4,500 from Opulent Items »

Moving goldfish out of the living room and into the bathroom for a perfect view of what will surely be their place of final burial, down the toilet, seems like an illogical move. That is, until you see this awesome fish aquarium...

Thursday, March 15, 2012
$490 - $895 from Subwing »

You know those dreams you have when you're flying, spinning, disoriented, or drowning? They're all about to come true. At once. The SUBWING underwater glider attaches to a rope and boat at one end, and your death grip at the...

Friday, June 21, 2013
$99 from iFetch »

iFetch isn't the first automatic ball launcher for dogs, but it's about half the cost of the Go Dog Go, and I am more partial to iFetch's video of the dancing Boston Terrier than I am to Go Dog Go's of the spastic Puggle....

Saturday, February 9, 2013
$29 from Wallet TrackR »

Just wait 'til the next dirty thief who tries to jack my wallet finds out I've got the Wallet TrackR. And a Sap Cap. And an extensive history of kicking people in the shins. About the size of a credit card and connected via...

Tuesday, April 1, 2014
$299.95 from Carbon Fiber Gear »

A gold toilet seat: ostentatious. Indulgent. Ridiculous. A carbon fiber toilet seat: inconspicuous. Practical. Awesome. It's not an extravagance, it's...it's...well, I mean you need a toilet seat, right? And you need to treat...

Wednesday, December 12, 2012
$13 - $19 from Dash Wallets »

Credit card receptacles have gotten awfully fancy--from electronic signatures to electronic signatures with your fingertip to electronic signatures with your fingertip on an iPhone with a craaazy! credit card swiper bug attachment--so...

Saturday, July 21, 2012
Discontinued

FLASHr debuts on Kickstarter as New Orleans boys Trey DeArk and Terence Green's slick reappropriation of the iPhone's built-in LED camera flash and iOS' "LED Flash Alerts". A 3-part, multi-colored case, FLASHr intertwines...

Monday, March 17, 2014
$60.30 from Amazon »

Even in a market flooded with the advanced technology of smartphones and swell devices like Iridium's Go Global Hotspot, walkie-talkies persevere. Because, at least for the reigning generation, they maintain one thing these...

Wednesday, August 31, 2011
By: Youtube

Sensory overload phenomenon demonstrated by a creepy bearded man and a sweet voiced English woman. I can't imagine watching this while high. I feel like it would turn into a scene from Tommy Boy....

Saturday, January 19, 2013
$13 from Amazon »

People think I drink only Kool-Aid and sodie pop because I'm immature and unrefined, but really it's because water is such a yawn. I need the excitement and intrigue of carbonation and colors insulting to nature in my beverages....

Monday, July 30, 2012
$2,165.09 from Firebox.com »

When I look at Podtime's new collapsible Sleeping Pod, an extra cozy 3.9' wide x 6.9' long personal retreat and slumbering space for college students, or anyone else on a crusade to find efficient luxury, exactly two words...

Saturday, February 23, 2013
$159.95 from Amazon »

Sweet, a onesie for temperatures even colder than my parents keep their house. Selk'bag's wearable sleeping bags cater to all outdoor enthusiasts looking to stay warm without the constriction of a traditional rectangular or...

Wednesday, January 8, 2014
$158.58 from Amazon »

I have a hard time believing that fried food tastes like fried food if it's not fried fully submerged in the succulent greasiness of oils corn, palm, peanut, or pig. But, since I'd prefer not to have my first dance with heart...