Journey Gym in a Briefcase

$157.09 from Amazon »

Getting a Journey Gym isn't quite as good as getting a briefcase full of unmarked hundred dollar bills, but it's better than getting a briefcase full of performance data you have to enter by hand into an Excel spreadsheet....

Monkeylectric M204 Bike Wheel Light

$25.99 from Amazon »

Monkey Lights and their explosions of LED colors and patterns first hit bike wheels a few years ago thanks to crowdfunding. Since then the company has built a thriving business around their dual goals of keeping cyclists...

Mr. Knox Wooden Safe

$1,250 from Stephan Siepermann »

Muahahaha, Mama! You'll never be able to steal my Bailey's Irish Cream again once I hide it within the impenetrable walls of the Mr. Knox wooden safe!...

Glass Darth Vader Cutting Board

$36 - $42 from Etsy »

Look at Vader, all done up glassy and classy-like on a cutting board. Surrounds by...what are those things surrounding the Dark Lord of the Sith, etched doilies? Blades, he breathes to the X-Wing knife block, I am your...

SmartCharge Power Outage Light Bulbs

$34.95 from SmartCharge »

Electricity is one of those things we don't typically give much thought to until we don't have it. Or until we get struck by lightning. And while SmartCharge LED light bulbs will not un-fry your brain from the latter...

WiPry-Pro 2.4 GHz iOS Spectrum Analyzer

$199.97 from Amazon »

The WiPry-Pro from Oscium is a 2.4 GHz spectrum analyzer with the ability to view SSIDs and RSSI. In other words what was once reserved for the AT&T's bearded white dudes and nerdy Indians whose selfies just hit a hundred...

Cooling Gel Memory Foam Pillow

$28.34 from Amazon »

The comfort of not waking up unable to rotate your neck more than 5 degrees to the left meets the comfort of not waking up sweatier than a fat man doing hot yoga in a polyester leisure suit. Sleep Innovations' reversible...

UFO Soap Dispensers

Runner up to the Alien Abduction Lamp in the category of Best Application of 1950s Era Extra Terrestrials to Common Household Objects: UFO soap dispensers. Duncan Shotton's design plants a spaceship pump atop a neon yellow...

New Cult Comedy Movie Bundle

$29.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

The key to turning your contemporary American comedy into a cult comedy classic: crusty day 3 stubble. And now you can relish all of your favorite razor-abhorring comedic actors of the 2000s ad infinitum with this Ultimate...

Serenity Pod Bed

$10k from Sky Mall »

My friend Victor showed me this Serenity Pod. Actually he showed me the ones meant for dogs and cats, but I was like, Victor. Why would I spend one thousand dollars to give my pet a world of serenity and slumber when...

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Suzak Lounger

Giveaway: Suzak Lounger

By: QSTO »

Comfy, classy, versatile, and...ooh...bouncy, bouncy! Click here and enter to win a stainless steel Suzak Lounger from QSTO! A $499 value!...

DIY Hidden Door Hinge System

$139.95 from Amazon »

Ooh, a hidden door to a boudoir of lingerie and sex toys? Maybe pretending to be interested in books wasn't the worst, most boring mistake I ever made to get a girl to like me after all. Yeah, babe, I do see your first...

Solar Powered Christmas Lights

$8 - $25 from Amazon »

Christmas lights powered by the sun. I'm pretty sure that statement equates to less work for my mama, and less hassling of me by my mama to help her with the Christmas lights. Sure, INST's strands still require unraveling...

Leather Knife Rolls

$330 from Steve Goodson »

Bobby Flay uses one of Steven Goodson's custom, handmade leather knife rolls. And have you seen Bobby Flay's wife? Hot. Dude has good taste. Know who else has a knife roll? Chefs Judy Joo and Andrew Hales. Yeah, I've...

Viking Horns Hand Crank Siren

$74.95 from Amazon »

According to vendor Viking Horns, the quick rundown on their hand crank siren is as follows. Color: Dark Gray. Sound Output: 115 decibels. Construction: Metal housing. Operation: Manual hand lever. Ideal Use: Getting...

Refillable Sriracha Keychain

$7 from Sriracha2Go »

I know there are a few problems with this Sriracha keychain. Like in addition to enabling me to deliberately put Sriracha on my breakfast burritos and Philly cheese dips on the go, it's also going to enable me to inadvertently...

Snapshotr Dual-Chamber Shot Glass

$12 - $15 from Snapshotr »

In a day and age when progress and the advancement of humankind are tantamount, we can't expect to just keep doing the same old keg stands and beer bongs. We have to evolve. And the Snapshotr, like the Vaportini, is one...

RotopaX Fuel & Storage Cells

$38.75 - $114.22 from Amazon »

RotopaX, available in 1, 1.75, 2, 3, and 4-gallon capacities, are modular cells that mount to motorcycles, ATVs, SUVs, your mom's back, and trucks. They hold backup fuel, water, or any number of emergency preparedness...

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Sole Fixie Bikes

$279 - $399 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Venice Beach's Sole (So-lay) Bicycle Company makes fixies they hope you'll find as high-performing as they are eye-catching and affordable. Their line of bikes, which includes about 10 different color combinations and...

Quadrofoil Electric Watercraft

$18,500 - $28k from Quadrofoil »

Here's your chance to jet across the water on an architectural insect. With the Quadrofoil you can do it quietly and without injecting carbon-based fuels into the subsurface ecosystem too. This personal watercraft operates...

Reindeer Hangover Ugly Christmas Sweater

Sold Out from Amazon »

Listen. The only reason I'm showing you a barfing reindeer ugly Christmas sweater on November 6th is that when I waited for another month to show it to you last year it sold out before I had the opportunity. So just swap...

The End Is in Sight Black Electrical Tape

Um, they need to put a track of The End Is in Sight double contrasting-colored lines on all spooled adhesive products, not just black electrical tape. This is so simple, yet so useful in saving me 42 seconds and foot-stamping...

AeroMobil 3.0 Flying Car

Just another flying car here. Though still a prototype, the AeroMobil 3.0 is an upgrade from the Slovakian company's pre-prototype 2.5, and has graduated to the flight-testing stage of bringing this inevitable feat of...

Bicycle Handlebar Trophy Head

$260 from Uncommon Goods »

Here's a trusty steed for cyclist types to hang their EPS foam helmets on. It communicates hipsters' favorite kind of irony, plus lets everyone know the owner thinks it's cool to kill bikes for sport. And none of that...

HM6 Space Pirate Watch

$230k from MB&F »

You gotta have some balls to call your watch an "horological machine" and charge over $200 grand for it. And MB&F's HM6 Space Pirate is definitely a watch with balls. Five of them, to be exact. The timepiece's transparent...

Self-Watering Animal Planters

$22.99 from Amazon »

Oh crap. These are adorable. Every girl I know is getting a self-watering cat planter this Christmas. It looks like Hello Kitty and sits in a cup and sucks up water through its tail. What girl wouldn't freak out in a...

Full Auto Belt Fed Pellet Gun

$599 from Amazon »

A .22 caliber belt-fed pellet machine gun powered by a can of CO2, HPA, or Nitrogen. And, according to photographic evidence, Grandpa. Between the Ka-Bar cane and this SMG .22, Grandpa's been getting a lot of play in...

BACtrack Vio Breathalyzer Keychain

$42.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

BACtrack would like to help us stop driving drunk. And dialing drunk. And texting drunk. And--hello, new kid on the block--Tindering drunk. I know. We're supposed to know better than to do these things on our own. And...

Roustan Body Paint Photo Book (NSFW)

$60 from Paul Roustan »

I can't do what body paint artist Paul Roustan does. And while I definitely have the body to serve as one of his subjects, my mama always tells me that modesty is a virtue, and also that she'll be forever grateful that...

Vinotini Flip Glass

$14.99 from Uncommon Goods »

Alternating between martinis and wine all night sounds like a terrific way to avoid a hangover. Kind of like the rhythm method of birth control. So I guess Vinotini glassware is here to facilitate the efforts of people...

The Man Tag

$195 - $215 from Boone Rings »

If Bruce Boone's Man Ring is too much Guido for your finger, have a look at his latest creation: the Man Tag. Incorporating all of its predecessor's multi-tool implements, plus a few more for acts of self-defense, the...

The SoundPad Tablet Stand

$28.90 from DudeIWantThat.com »

From an enhanced theater experience with stadium seating and IMAX screens to an enhanced theater experience with airplane seating and your tablet screen. SoundPad is further proof that while we like things really big...

Marvel Superhero Wearable Sleeping Bags

$149 from Amazon »

I've seen Selk'bags around here before. Wearable sleeping bags that fit and move like onesies, but snooze like a sack rated for chilly slumbers in the great outdoors. Pretty sweet. And now, with this new Marvel line of...

Baking Bad: A Parody in a Cookbook

$12.97 from Amazon »

Now that Breaking Bad is over it's time to cook up your own meth...cupcakes. Or, I don't know, maybe it's just blue food coloring in the mix and rock candy on top. Whatever, fans of the show going through Walter White...

LightMode Bike Helmet EL Kits

$69 - $72 from LightMode »

We've seen simultaneous nods to motorcycle safety and TRON light cycles with bike wheel lights. LightMode kits propose something similar with bike helmet lights. More specifically, ropes of EL material riders DIY around...

Ventless Freestanding Bio-Ethanol Fireplace

$289.99 from Amazon »

Sometimes it's hard to seduce a lady on a grizzly bear skin rug coat alongside a roaring fire when you don't have any means to create a roaring fire. And after that last incident with the sirens and hoses, I doubt my...

R2-D2 Carry-On Luggage

$79.99 from ThinkGeek »

Obviously they made the R2-D2 luggage a carry-on because as a checked bag it would immediately be stolen by some bag handler or TSA fanboy. I mean that's what I would do anyway. Since I'm generally a swell guy I wouldn't...

RoboReel Motorized Power Cord

Sold Out from Amazon »

The RoboReel Power Cord System stores 50' of 12-gauge extension cord in a compact, portable ball. Its 3 outlets can accommodate multiple power tools at once, and a 360-degree rotational axis provides access over a 100'...

Monkey Fist Paracord Self Defense Keychain

$12.99 from Amazon »

"This Monkey Fist unit looks like a simple harmless keychain. However, in the unfortunate event that you need to defend yourself this powerful self defense keychain will stun and maim your attacker." And how is that?...

Awaglass Soap Bubble Timer

$13.68 from Amazon »

Here at last to keep track of your 60-second increments of time: soapy water. Fill the Awaglass bubble timer with H2O and dish soap, shake it up, and marvel at the brilliant mind of a Japanese dude with so much time on...

Woojer Tactile Subwoofer - Feel the Sound

$99 - $179 from Woojer »

Woojer is a tiny subwoofer you situate on your favorite place to experience tactile vibrations (er, favorite place above the belt). Then when you fire up your music or video game, the sound won't just resonate in your...

Atlas Next Level Fitness Monitor

$249 from Atlas »

For Atlas, "next level" in smart wearables means more than tracking heart rates, counting calories, and noting that you have just walked 22 steps when you sit in front of the TV with a plate of fried chicken and shake...

Star Wars Ear Plugs

$24.95 - $44.95 from Etsy »

Ear plugs make me a little queasy. Even those fitted with a painted acrylic AT-AT. Though if you're going to stretch a 1" hole in the middle of your earlobe, it would probably be my #1 choice of things to fill it with....

Belt Scooter

In describing his Belt Scooter, Hungarian student Adam Torok talks about humans' physical need to move around, the invention of the combustion engine, the independence of owning a car, and some mumbo jumbo pertaining...

Ka-Bar Self Defense Cane

$79.99 from Amazon »

One more reason you don't mess with Grandpa. This Ka-Bar powder-coated aluminum cane supports both a bad right knee and a wicked righthand swing. The walking stick flawlessly doubles as a self defense tool...presuming...

3D Printing Starter Bundle

Compact enough to fit in backpacks! 50 micron precision! Able to auto-level tall buildings in a single...sweep? Pass? The Portabee GO is a simple, mobile 3D printer suitable for all levels of people who want to get their...

Glow Fusion Bubbles

$4.96 - $6.02 from Amazon »

They call them Super Miracle Bubbles because they glow. At least the Glow Fusion Bubble Solution glows. The bubbles it produces appear to have about the same luminosity as every other bubble. Which doesn't necessarily...

Hellraiser Pinhead Figure

Premium Format Pinhead. This should make for an interesting evening in the attic. Sideshow Collectibles has just added a salute to Hellraiser to their Cult Classics collection with this sculpture of Doug Bradley frozen...

Flare Super Efficient Rocket Science Pans

$32 - $125 from Lakeland »

Thomas Povey is a rocket scientist at Oxford University. But when he's not applying his thermodynamics expertise to advanced jet engines, he kicks back and thinks about how it might enable him to fry his eggs and blood...

Trion Nemesis American Supercar

$1 million from Trion SuperCars »

Trion's Nemesis RR is a 100% American-made supercar with 100% American elite status--just 50 standard, plus 9 Black Ops models will be produced--and a 100% American price tag. Estimates start at the million dollar mark....

DJI Phantom FC40 Drone with WiFi Camera

DJI, makers of myriad drone quadcopters, designed the Phantom FC40 for everyone, but we're offering it only to you at almost 25% off its $649 retail price through the Dude Exclusives online store. Additionally, you'll...

Night Owl Night Vision Monocular

$179.98 from Amazon »

On the one hand I hate turning lights on when I have to take a leak in the middle of the night, but on the other hand my mama hates it when I miss the bowl. Or use the bathtub just to be safe. If you're like me, or if...

Wood & Aluminum Connect Four

Can you hear that, Cornelius? It's the resounding clink-clink-clink of me dominating you at Connect Four all wood and aluminum and classy-like....

bottleLoft Magnetic Fridge Storage

Brian Conti, also responsible for Strong Like Bull Magnets, heads toward Magnet Magnate status with his bottleLoft. botteLoft strips are magnetic bottle holders that install on the ceiling of your refrigerator to keep...

Star Trek Phaser Universal Remote Control

$193.19 from Firebox.com »

What I want to know is can this 1:1 screen-accurate replica of the phaser Captain James T. Kirk wielded in the 2660s beam me some free HBO and Pay Per View movies of a certain, uh, adult variety? Nyet? Well, can it at...

Glass Top Ping Pong Table

Oh good, I was hoping someone would come up with a way for me to enjoy the excitement of a ping pong match from below. TravisMathew has developed this Glass Top Ping Pong table as a custom, made-to-order in the OC, price...

Bacon Chocolate Covered Oreos & Twinkies

$13.99 from Amazon »

Oreos and Twinkies topped with bacon and then dipped in chocolate. This is what I would call the Trick-or-Treating Mother Lode. At least before wackjobs started putting needles and poison into their homemade treats for...

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The 5 Senses Mystery Box

Giveaway: The 5 Senses Mystery Box

Do you hear what I hear? See the light? Smell what I'm cookin'? Taste the rainbow? Feel the touch of cotton, the fabric of our lives? You can if you click here and enter to win The 5 Senses Mystery Box. You won't find...

28-Port MondoHub

$59.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Get the 28-port MondoHub for $39 off its retail price! A limited time offer from the Dude Exclusives online store....

Pet Defender Stun Sticks

Arc Angel Industries' Pet Defenders are canes and walking sticks that double as inconspicuous stun guns. So that when you're out plastic baggying little Coco's numero dos to impress his (incredibly hot female that you...

Fou Lard Bacon Scarf

$175.50 from Natalie Luder »

100% silk Crepe de Chine for the fingers, 100% thin-sliced Mangalitsa pork belly for the eyes. Natalie Luder's Fou Lard is a bacon scarf through and through. "Foulard" is the French word for "silk scarf" and "fou" alone...

Grain Wood Audio Devices

$99 - $799 from Grain Audio »

Grain Audio chose wood as its speaker and headphones medium for 3 reasons: sound; sight; and touch. (To complete the 5 senses quintet, I went ahead and smelled and licked my Grain PWS Bluetooth speaker when it arrived...

Kneeling Dragon Table

$378.08 from Amazon »

Not only is this dragon holding my beer and taquitos for me, he's kneeling in supplication while doing it! How pathetic. Come on, Puff, Jackie Paper's not coming back. It's time to start rebuilding your manhood. See if...

Instacube - Real-Time Instagram Photo Frame

$109.99 from Amazon »

One piece of advice to Instacube users: don't drink & stream. While the real-time digital display frame does make it easy to share photos of the grandkids with family or schmoopy, pathetic shots of you pining for your...

Bluetooth Cassette Adapter

$99.99 from Amazon »

After our lengthy road trip to a land of many beers an no radio signals my friend Cornelius told me I either have to find tapes of something other than Appetite for Destruction and Hall & Oates: Greatest Hits or get one...

Lawn Lights

$59.88 - $99.88 from Amazon »

Ooh, it's like getting forked but way more visible at night and slightly less embarrassing for the homeowner. Also less likely to instigate an elaborate payback plot. Even better, Lawn Lights make all holiday, party...