Tiny Nightmares: Very Short Stories of Horror

$13.55 Amazon »

Tiny Nightmares is a collection of quick little stories written to scare the shit out of us. Huh. Now why does that sound familiar?...

LEGO Ghostbusters ECTO-1

$239.99 Amazon »

Sorry, kids, you gotta be 18 to get the LEGO Ghostbusters ECTO-1 as a Christmas gift this year. Because the ghost-pursuing machine is life-sized and motored up for driving around town! No wait...that's not it. It's because...

V20 Nanotech Waterproof Shoes

$79 - $89 V-Tex »

Neither rain nor snow nor sand nor stank can stop V-TEX's V20 Nanotech Waterproof Shoes from carrying your feet through all 4 seasons dry, comfy, and odor-free. V20 sneaks aren't named according to their release version...

Hazet Santa Tools Advent Calendar

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Merry pre-Christmas, Dad! Here's a Hazet Santa Tools Advent Calendar stashed with 21 premium tools to help you count down the days 'til Christmas! The day you'll get to use all 21 of those tools to spend hours and hours...

Little Dove Multi-Functional Wooden Wobble Board

$69.99 - $79.99 Amazon »

Wish I'd had a Wooden Wobble Board when I was a kid. Maybe a couple years with Little Dove's multi-functional rocking balance trainer would have made it easier for me to stay upright without hanging on for dear life when...

Personalized Glowing Life Bar Pin

$25 Etsy »

Let everyone know how you're faring this year with a Personalized Glowing Life Bar Pin. The horizontal health meters charge up in sunlight, and then glow neon green in the dark at your choice of Full Life, Mostly Alive...

Dicklicious Penis Lipstick

$11.99 Amazon »

I've seen lipstick on a penis, but Dicklicious is my first encounter with penis on a lipstick. I mean, unless we're talking dog penis, which when exhibited in a certain state goes by the colloquial name, "red lipstick,"...

Fire-Breathing Dragon Steam Release Diverter

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You might think this fire-breathing dragon steam release diverter has a fairly narrow buyer / gift recipient pool of people who own pressure cookers and instant pots. But...well, yeah OK, in thinking that you'd be right...

Trufflin Sriracha & Ranch VIP Set

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The Trufflin Sriracha & Ranch duo are a hot sauce and dressing infused with black truffle, and dubbed the "VIP Set." Because while Trufflin sauce itself may not be the boss - certainly not by Sweet Baby Ray's trademark...

California Champagne Saber Company Sabrage Swords

$99.95 - $159.95 Amazon »

A nice bottle of chilled Champagne. A nice California Champagne Saber Company bubbles bottle sabrage sword. A little flair. A little flick of the wrist. A big POP! A big Champagne shower! A big celebration! A...oh f-...izzy...

E71: What Is This Thing?

$7.99 Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 71 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

Geometric Wooden Pet Bed

Discontinued

My cat, Zanzibar, would love this geometric wooden pet bed. Why? Because he knows the only recurring nightmare I have is about high school geometry class, and he would purr giddy in delight at the thought of his own cozy...

Jumbl Puzzle Board Wooden Jigsaw Puzzle Table

$59.99 Amazon »

What, you can't finish that 1,500-piece jigsaw puzzle of a color gradient in one sitting? Sigh. Why'd you open it then? Now it's going to be cluttering up the dining room table for the next 3 weeks! Shoulda bought the...

Dirty Talking Snowman Christmas Tree Ornament

$13.99 Amazon »

"Hey baby, try out your snow blower on this!" OK, maybe the Dirty Talking Snowman Christmas Tree Ornament isn't so much dirty as he is 4/10 inappropriate, 8/10 obnoxious, and 10/10 only invited to Christmas because he's...

A compilation of the 17 best WFH gifts should resonate with all of us. Whether you're doing the WFH thing yourself, or just know someone - or 30 someones - helping to take the world's work from home population to record-setting levels, I project WFH gifts are going to be piled high under the tree...

A Christmas Story 8' Living Projection Inflatable

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Gemmy's A Christmas Story 8' Living Projection Airblown Inflatable might be the easiest way to make sure your house is the one cars park outside to stare at this holiday season. ... Maybe tied with tossing together a...

Vans UA Classic Slip-On Twist Sneakers

$80 LN-CC »

These sneaks are Vans...with a twist. Sorry, it's been a long week. Vans UA Classic Slip-On Twist Sneakers dangled some low-hanging literary fruit in front of me, and I just grabbed it. Ate it right up. Toss the leftover...

iPhone 12 "L"

Apple tripled the iPhone 12's camera, but it took Matt Benedetto to show true genius and double the smartphone's entire design. Meet the iPhone 12 "L", a perfect fusion of two perfect iPhone 12s into an even more perfect...

3D Domed Glow in the Dark Star Dots

$9.99 Amazon »

These 3D domed Glow in the Dark Star Dots bring a next level night sky to the kids' room, or the living room whose ceiling you find yourself staring at more and more lately. The pack of 606 adhesive dots create a more...

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Mankini

$14.99 Amazon »

Rudolph Mankini, reporting for sleigh-driving, eye-popping, nut-hugging duty! Christmas suit meets birthday suit in this jolly, Borat-approved (and sexy-time-ready!) men's thong. Ownership of the Rudolph Mankini means...

Dude's must see products for October 2020 segue us from Halloween to Christmas. What happened to Thanksgiving? I think it gotten taken out by the Cold Steel Mini Torpedo and the Estwing Machete. But don't worry. Looks like we're all going to be stuck at home for the rest of the year anyway, so pick...

Use the Force Bathroom Art

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When mere pushing, grunting, and clenching every other muscle in your body while sitting on the toilet doesn't work, use The Force. Or at least stare at this Use The Force bathroom art hanging on the wall for some comic...

How to Drink Like a Writer

$12.69 Amazon »

How to drink like a writer? Uh...a lot? Do we really need a whole book? I guess if you want the specific Recipes for the Cocktails and Libations That Inspired 100 Literary Greats, then How to Drink Like a Writer will...

The Grinch Airblown Inflatable Car Buddy

$42.97 Amazon »

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. But I'll put up with your bah-humbug comments and general cantankerousness if you'll wear a jacket and baseball cap and help me cheat drive in the carpool lane...