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Friday, January 11, 2013
Kraken Watch
$9,860 from WatchBuys »

Stefan Kudoke calls his masterful Kraken timepiece the KudOktopus, which I guess is acceptably clever. I would have called it the KudoKraken though. Easier to pronounce. Sounds kind of like pseudo-Kraken, which an ornate rosegold and more...

Sunday, April 21, 2013
Haircut Umbrella
$7.98 from Amazon »

Why did the Haircut Umbrella choose for its product model a kid who looks like he has been knocked cross-eyed by the schoolmates who rammed his head through a rain blocker, with its ability to catch flyaway hair clippings during grooming more...

Saturday, August 11, 2012
Anatomical Gummi Bears
$40 from Pylones »

This anatomical view of what lies beyond the high fructose corn syrup and Yellow Dye No. 5 of their epidermises paints Gummi Bears in a new light. Gives them some identity. Some humanity. Makes me feel kind of bad for eating them by the handful without a second thought. Mostly because I now realize the acute stomach cramps I usually get 30 minutes after a bear mowing session is due to having ingested more...

Saturday, December 22, 2012
North Paw Human Compass Trainer
$149 from Sensebridge »

Yee haw! It's December 22, 2012 and we're all still here! Able to continue breathing, eating, working, gaming, online shopping, consuming, and generally navigating through life. Hmmm. Maybe I should take this non-apocalyptic turn of more...

Saturday, February 04, 2012
Brutus the Bulldog Self Defense Keychain
$7.95 from Amazon »

Add some extra spice to your knuckle sandwich. On a typical day, Brutus the Bulldog simply tricks out the keys to your Honda Civic. But on the day you leave the Civic at home, and get jumped walking home from the bar, Brutus' eyes transform more...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012
ZBand Silent Alarm Clock
$39 - $50 from indiegogo »

The Vibrating Ring Alarm Clock may still exist only in concept, but the ZBand, a vibrating bracelet alarm clock, is just a few steps away from silently and unobnoxiously rocking you awake without disturbing significant human, canine, or feline others in the bed. Making an indiegogo.com run for funding, ZBand creators Paul Griffin and Declan Leonard hope to bring their simple, yet sleek, idea and more...

Thursday, November 01, 2012
Japanese Tongue Exerciser

The most endearing part about the Kuwaete Sukkiri Tongue Exerciser marketing campaign is that it claims the silicone (and grapefruit scented!) apparatus is intended to "help improve your face line and those flabby, sagging cheeks." more...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013
I Park Like an Idiot Stickers
$10 - $30 from threadless »

I Park Like an Idiot stickers have two outstanding selling points. 1) Applying one to the bumper or window of a deserving vehicle will give its user an instant boost, likely eliminating the crankiness and ill-will evoked by the idiot's more...

Thursday, March 15, 2012
Subwing - Underwater Hang Glider
$700 from Subwing »

You know those dreams you have when you're flying, spinning, disoriented, or drowning? They're all about to come true. At once. The SUBWING underwater glider attaches to a rope and boat at one end, and your death grip at the other to more...

Monday, April 15, 2013
CEO Desk Chaise
$2,580 from Design Collectors »

Vitra's MVS Chaise, named for its Belgian designer, Maarten Van Severen, applies ergonomic principles similar to those of the Zero Gravity Recliner, but adopts an even slimmer profile and sleeker, minimalist lines to double as a sculpture more...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Friday, December 23, 2011
Tactical Bleeding Zombie Target
Sold Out from Amazon »

Target practice with human targets seems so cruel (although practical since most of the time it's other people that are getting shot). Why not practice drilling holes in things that are already dead and will probably at some point rise more...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
ManHands Soap
$6.95 from Etsy »

When I was in college I worked in food service for 5 years, during which time I smoked a lot of weed and touched a lot of nasty shit. Like I regularly had to stick my hand down garbage disposals clogged with half-eaten pancakes and more...

Monday, March 25, 2013
100 Zombie Films - A Graphical Study
$20.29 from Etsy »

Ryan McArthur has compiled a graphical study of the Top 100 Zombie films in order of how much they pale in comparison to Zombieland and, for that matter, any movie in which Bill Murray has ever appeared, including that Rushmore nonsense, more...

Monday, July 30, 2012
Podtime Sleeping Pods
$2,165.09 from Firebox.com »

When I look at Podtime's new collapsible Sleeping Pod, an extra cozy 3.9' wide x 6.9' long personal retreat and slumbering space for college students, or anyone else on a crusade to find efficient luxury, exactly two words come to mind: more...

Saturday, November 24, 2012
Level 1 Human Baby Creeper Romper
Sold Out from Amazon »

It's never too early to indoctrinate your kids into the world of role-playing. Even casual RPG enthusiasts will get a kick out of J!NX's Level 1 Human Baby Creeper Romper for the 2 to 3 weeks it actually fits their ludicrous-speed-growing more...

Friday, April 05, 2013
Alice in Wonderland Caterpillar & Hookah
$795 from Etsy »

Needle-felted Absolem, blue, hookah-sucking caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, you look a little too real for me. If I got high I would definitely try to converse with and befriend you. I might do that even if I weren't high. Look more...

Friday, September 14, 2012
Gas-Powered LED Wings
Discontinued

Gas-powered mechanical wizard John Paul Rishea of Bionic Concepts follows up his Exo-Gauntlet Exoskeleton with this set of searing blue LED wings waiting to be scooped up by the first fancier of flight with $830. The wings include a more...

Sunday, November 25, 2012
Electric Hoodies
$90 from Electric MVMT »

Hammer, your time is over. Your replacement: electroluminescent rope. Henceforth, when I want cessation of all movement for the announcement of a thematic activity in which all are expected to participate, I'll be shouting, Stop. Electroluminescent more...

Saturday, February 16, 2013
American Horror Story Rubber Man Suit
$35.89 - $40 from Amazon »

Bring out the gimp. The gimp's sleeping. Well, I guess you'll just have to go wake him up now, won't you? Wait...wrong S&M fetish scene. The Rubber Man suit is an American Horror Story derivation. Just as well, I guess. I really hate more...

Saturday, November 10, 2012
Cocoon 1 - Bubble Abode
$2,990 from Micasa Lab »

The Cocoon 1 is for that sort of selfish kind of privacy people seek. The kind that means no one can bother or make any demands of them, but they can still watch and hear and pass judgment on what's going on with everyone else. It's more...

Thursday, April 25, 2013
Radiation Detecting Watch

Wondering what time it is? Wondering if your face is about to melt off? This tactical Swiss quartz watch with an integrated Geiger-Muller tube has your back. A US military gadget supplier designed the timepiece to measure single-dose more...

Sunday, April 14, 2013
Wearable Drum Set

Now man can beat his chest and sound even badder than a silverback gorilla*. Drop the Beat, Wesley Chau's wearable drum set concept, was inspired by Laurie Anderson's 1986 concert film Home of the Brave. Yeah, I don't know what that more...

Friday, September 21, 2012
Ostrich Pillow
$195.50 from Amazon »

If looking like a complete schmo in an Ostrich Pillow means that I can sleep through transcontinental flights and my boss' stories about his Junior Samba Champion grandson, then bring on the gawks and guffaws. I won't see them anyway, more...

Friday, January 11, 2013
Batman Chess Set

Of course the Batman Chess Set costs nearly $800. The Dark Knight is a fancy superhero. The fanciest superhero of all, I would say. And check out how dashing he looks in fine pewter and diecast metal. Villains the Joker, Catwoman, Riddler, more...

Thursday, February 28, 2013
Sharetapes
$7.15 from Sharetapes »

I'm not sure who decided mixtapes were in need of a resurgence, but to whomever it was, congratulations. The Aussies were listening. And they've added upgrades in the form of NFC chips, QR codes, and the removal of old-school cassettes' more...

Wednesday, January 30, 2013
His & Hers Star Wars Rings
$650 from Etsy »

I like the idea of the Force being with me, but I also like the idea of stuff. With one of these Star Wars rings I will still be able to envision and harness the power of an intangible Force, but, more importantly, I'll be able rub more...

Friday, April 26, 2013
DriDown Sleeping Bag
$499.95 from Sierra Designs »

I believe the DriDown sleeping bag weighs only 1lb 12oz because when I picked one up and hit my friend Cornelius over the head with it he hardly even flinched. It took him, like, 8 seconds before he realized what happened and remembered more...

Monday, July 16, 2012
Titty Twirlers Pasties
$20 from Etsy »

Here comes the airplane! Titty Twirlers are propellor pasties that put a twist on the traditional showstopping effect we typically expect the wind to have on a lady's (or dude's, per the video) wardrobe. I mean, Marilyn Monroe's parachuting more...

Wednesday, March 13, 2013
DoorBot Smartphone Video Doorbell
$189 - $339 from Christie Street »

Last week I recounted my triumphant tale of Scrabble domination over a girl I once dated. At that time, I literally had not seen...or even really thought about...this girl for at least 3 years. But then I wrote about her competitiveness more...

Thursday, April 11, 2013
Trakdot Luggage Tracker
$49.99 from Trakdot »

Trakdot luggage finders enjoyed a grand reception at CES 2013, and the company is now gearing up for its initial propagation of Trakdots into the world on June 24, 2013. The palm-sized suitcase insert collaborates with an online service more...