A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Sunday, February 2, 2014
$7.49 from Amazon »

Everybody poops 410 pounds a year. Heh. Given what I've been downing today, at least 5 of those pounds are going to show themselves to me sometime between 5:00 and 10:00 tomorrow morning. Author Deuce Flanagan reminds us that...

Wednesday, July 10, 2013
$129.99 from Garmin »

Keep my eyes on the road? Whaaat? I haven't done that since, like, 1996. For a while I would clip my nails and text while driving to pass the time, but after all of those creepy PSAs came out I could hardly even type out "What...

Friday, December 13, 2013
$31.99 from Amazon »

I bet this is the only bathrobe on Amazon--no, on the planet!--that has 121 customer reviews! 121 reviews! 159 if you count its second listing here. 159 reviews*! Of a bathrobe. I know it's a Jedi bathrobe and it has a Star Wars aura enveloping it, but...wait...or maybe it doesn't. Maybe the robe lacks the aura, and that's what all the reviews are about. "0 stars! No aura!"...

Friday, September 13, 2013
$60 from Amazon »

Shine and its 24K Gold rolling papers add a new action to the ever-growing list of Things You Can Do with Gold. Currently populated by: 1) Eat it; 2) Shit it; and 3) Buy expensive things with it, stoners and recreational tokers...

Sunday, April 7, 2013
$61.34 from Firebox.com »

What sucks is that you're either blessed with a dense thatch of chest hair or you're not. There's no cultivating it, no sprinkling of fertilizer that will encourage it to grow. The only legitimate option for those bereft of...

Friday, November 4, 2011
$147 from Ellusionist »

More mysterious than how Pure Smoke works or what it's made of is why the spontaneous appearance of smoke is so cool. In other contexts, such as while baking, performing basic electrical upgrades, or 10 miles into your hike through a densely wooded forest, smoke's sudden presence doesn't so much elicit dreamy enchantment as it does "Uh oh!" But when wielded by a dark, handsome, somewhat creepy...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

Sure a ninja mug is cool, but if you get one you're never going to be able to find it. Even if it's just sitting there, in the middle of your desk, right in front of your face. Ninja mugs are seen only when they want to be...

Tuesday, June 18, 2013
$1,500 - $2k from LiveMap »

Though specifically in development for use on a motorcycle, I'd probably wear the LiveMap helmet while driving and walking as well. Its built-in navigation system and voice-controlled interface allow those rolling 'round the...

Thursday, September 5, 2013
$79 from Nymi »

The MYO armband is cool and all, but to turn its wearers into human remote controls, it needs them to flex. Gesture. Move. The Nymi wristband, by contrast, will transform us into biological security systems and device communicators...

Tuesday, February 18, 2014
$41.36 from Amazon »

Fogged mirrors! I can't groom my facial hair or Dep Gel my head for, like, 8-1/2 minutes after emerging from the shower unless I stand there like an a-hole blowing my mama's hairdryer on it. Towels: do not work. Squeegees:...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Thursday, June 20, 2013
$84.99 from Amazon »

One thing I learned recently is that cyclists call their little outfits "kits". Isn't that precious? So here is a Tron kit for all of the bicycling Tron fans out there, as well as the far larger number of normal, non-bicycling...

Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Giveaway: Original Grain Wood Watches 72
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Enter to win your choice of an Original Grain all-natural wood and stainless steel watch (up to a $195 value)!...

Saturday, March 8, 2014
$59.99 - $64.99 from Amazon »

Defining characteristics of Hoth's tauntauns include a 4-pack of nostrils and a foul body odor. So. Who wants to wear a tauntaun zip-up hoodie? Stamped on the inside by a tauntaun intestines lining? On the upshot, I hear the...

Friday, February 7, 2014
$11.47 from Amazon »

My friend Esteban lives on a boat and at the end of the summer every year he hires a diver to scrounge around the water at the bottom of his slip to try to recover the myriad items he and his friends drop over the side when...

Saturday, September 21, 2013
$580 from UD Replicas »

If you prefer to be the villain, hold a special place in your heart for Bane and his anesthetic tarantula-mouth mask, or just don't feel ballsy enough to wear the molded leather chest plate, gauntlets, and butt huggers fashioned...

Sunday, December 2, 2012
$218 from Amazon »

Plea to All Women: I implore you to buy these pants. And wear them in my presence. White, lace, skulls. They're the trifecta of my fantasies. Throw in flowing, partially see-through, and looking to be very soft, and I might...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Usually when people describe themselves they inflate the truth or do that reverse psychology trick where they say a bunch of self-deprecating things in an effort to convey the opposite meaning. In both cases they would like...

Friday, May 10, 2013
$265 from Delta Six »

The Delta Six might be the coolest looking gaming gun I've ever seen. I would consider buying one even if I couldn't use it for anything but picking my nose and curling up with on the couch at night (the latter particularly...

Friday, December 14, 2012
$141.01 from Amazon »

I might say I want to go off the grid for a week, but really I mean I want to be away from people and civilization right up to the point that I need the help of people and civilization because I got my leg stuck in a rock...

Thursday, March 27, 2014
$16.83 from Amazon »

Last week I showed you how you can protect your banana. So now it's time to explore how your banana can protect you....

Thursday, March 7, 2013
$24.47 from Amazon »

5 minutes to a breakfast sandwich. No drive-thru on earth can beat that...mainly because of the whole leaving the house and driving to the drive-thru portion of the equation. Otherwise I guess most of them could. If there...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012
$59.99 from Zband »

The Vibrating Ring Alarm Clock may still exist only in concept, but the ZBand, a vibrating bracelet alarm clock, is just a few steps away from silently and unobnoxiously rocking you awake without disturbing significant human...

Thursday, November 14, 2013
$549 from indiegogo »

Almost 2 years ago we showed you grad student Jonas Pfeil's superb photographic concept: a spherical camera that, when tossed in the air, takes panoramic photos. To put it lifelessly. To put it in the more representative style...

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

ONDA terms itself a recumbent stunt bike/trike that can also be used to commute to work. Commute to work? What am I, the imp from Game of Thrones? Cee Lo Green? I'm not willingly placing a 3-foot-high version of myself amongst...

Sunday, June 9, 2013
Discontinued

Even in the virtual world, when it rains it pours. Not only is the ARAIG (As Real As It Gets) multi-sensory feedback suit the latest in a recent lineup of virtual gaming enhancement gear, but it has also joined VR immersive...

Wednesday, November 27, 2013
$25 from Amazon »

Superfight! instructs us to imagine Cards Against Humanity meets Apples to Apples. For the sake of what comes next, I would add to imagine this meeting takes place in either a dark alley, an octagon, or on opposite ends of...

Thursday, December 12, 2013
$2,549 from Snolo Sleds »

Carbon fiber. That stuff is pretty light, right? Hey! Cornelius! Good news! Next time we sneak onto the golf course to go sledding it's going to be WAY easier to schlep our implements back up the hill from the bottom! We'll...

Tuesday, April 23, 2013
$10.50 from Amazon »

If you missed out on the Chain Link Zombie Slayer Axe, console...and arm...and shock & awe yourself with this sick little zombie killing knife. Combining the functionality of a kitchen cleaver and the intimidating aesthetics...

Thursday, September 15, 2011

These are aptly named. An ingenious piece of technology wrought from Asian women's desire to have larger eyes, these seem more fit for the drug-and-urine-splattered concrete floor of the next rave in Omaha, Nebraska....

Tuesday, December 3, 2013
$18.99 from Amazon »

Great. Now when I don't catch the frisbee not only is it going to hit me in the face, it's going to hit me in the face and then bounce off up to 25 feet. The Sky Bouncer flies like a disc but ricochets off walls, floors, skulls...

Saturday, February 23, 2013
$9.95 from Shittens »

When you're sittin' on the john and the toilet paper's gone, be a man, use your hand...or get some Shittens. Protecting ourselves from fecal matter should be a priority right up there with wearing sunscreen and planning for...

Wednesday, May 29, 2013
$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

While I do not believe in buying other people gifts in honor of holidays for which they do not also have to buy me a gift, Father's Day is on the horizon, and this Tactical BBQ Apron could perhaps serve the dual purpose of...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
$19.99 - $26 from Amazon »

Medieval knight helmets. That's what hip nanas who know what it means to give their grandsons street cred crochet. Now I don't know if Dee Forrest is a grandma, but she's definitely privy to what the cool kids these days are...

Wednesday, September 11, 2013
$120 from Scout Alarm »

ADT had better either step up its game or get ready for retirement because with all of the user-controlled, smartphone-based home security systems trickling onto the market it won't be long now until third-party remote (and...

Thursday, March 22, 2012
$90k from Seabreacher »

Seabreacher water jets snugly seat two people with exceptional control over their stomachs and bowels for a nautical roller coaster ride of dives, breaches, spins, and respective surface and subsurface speeds of up to 50 and...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
$499 - $629 from Indochino »

Style. Connectivity. Protection from hypothermia. When 21st century power players dress to impress, kill, or otherwise command the respect of their minions, they wear Indochino's Nanotech Storm Suit. Disclaimer: If you are...

Monday, January 21, 2013
$69.97 from Amazon »

Hey kids, not only will Bushnell's Torch flashlight illuminate the bogeyman and monsters under your bed, its blast of a 165-lumen, perfectly square HD beam of light will probably blind them long enough for you to grab your...

Saturday, September 17, 2011
Sold Out from Etsy »

A real "blast" from the past. In a clever display of grooming irony, users shoot this vintage 357 Magnum Hair Dryer at their heads to avoid committing style suicide. We can see it now, the biggest public service campaign since...

Sunday, May 19, 2013
$10.95 from Sam's Natural »

Application of Sam's Natural Down There Repair fixes two major male discomforts and social embarrassments: chafed crotch and smelly crotch. It can also be used preventatively, thwarting these afflictions from striking down...

Wednesday, September 25, 2013
$29.50 - $239.99 from Lens.com »

Minions will cower and tremble in fear when they meet the all-powerful GnarledJaggedPlaqueLaden Teeth Eyes! Hey, I get the appeal of colored and themed contact lenses, particularly for Halloween, cosplay, and other costumed...

Sunday, January 27, 2013
$199 from NinjaBlocks »

The only thing I know about Hackers is that Angelina Jolie makes a hot one, but according to Ninja Blocks, that's enough to qualify me for the job. Of a hacker, not Angelina Jolie. Though I could probably pull off the latter...

Sunday, February 16, 2014
$80 from Snurk »

Not much of a lake snoozer? How about sleeping in a swimming pool? Snurk's pool bedsheets add a second option to spending the night enveloped in a large body of water without drowning. Fun! Trippy! Still horrendously scary...

Monday, March 10, 2014
$5.97 from Amazon »

That Striker Hand Tools' hands-free Magnetic Light Mine looks like an Everlasting Gobstopper is just the cherry on top of this cherry-sized task light. For illumination in tight spaces during repairs, tinkering, and upgrades...

Friday, April 20, 2012

Norman Osborn and Beaker from The Muppets are going to have a conniption when they get a load of this Frankencreation of welded steel and glass. The Menagerie of Mechanized Happiness Machine--ahhh, its name alone evokes reverence--is...

Sunday, January 19, 2014
$65 - $85 from Hoodsie »

The bad news: at printing, Hoodsie adult hooded onesies just completed a successful Kickstarter campaign, and are available only for pre-order. Delivery is not anticipated until April 2014, long after the most bone-chilling...

Tuesday, January 28, 2014
$5.99 - $17.99 from Etsy »

To all the girls compiling notes on what kind of cookies to bake me for Valentine's Day, let me make this easy: iced sugar or gingerbread even though it's not Christmas anymore in the shape of one of the following Cookie Prints:...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012
$325 from Black Badger »

Moonglow Rings take minimalistic colored and metal bands on a trip through classic sci-fi adventures when the lights go out. Though Black Badger Advanced Composites' glow-in-the-dark finger decor comes from Sweden, not outer...

Saturday, October 12, 2013
$29.95 - $64.95 from Morph Costume Co. »

Digital Dudz are back for Round 2 of their wildly popular animated, smartphone-enhanced Halloween costumes. 2013 designs are housed in infrastructures with lower profiles than the 1.0 versions', making them simpler to install...

Sunday, August 18, 2013
$23.07 from Amazon »

If you just want people to keep the F out, get an Add-a-Lock. But if you want them to believe for a split second that they have successfully encroached your space, only to disrupt the blaze of an invisble light that in turn...

Friday, November 1, 2013
By: Wristify

Much of the hype surrounding Wristify addresses the potential impact the thermoelectric bracelet could have on contemporary society's heating/cooling energy consumption. But its creators, a group of MIT students who won the...

Saturday, February 1, 2014
$99.90 from Amazon »

I saw some compact devices similar to PowerAll's portable car jump starter & power bank that claim to juice up a car battery from the comfort of my driver's seat. Just plug one in to the cigarette lighter, chill for 20 minutes...

Thursday, December 6, 2012
$19 from Raygun »

I tried to crop out the part of the Yay Cleavage T-Shirt photo that shows the boobily blessed lady wearing it is pregnant, but I think you can still kind of tell. Sorry. I guess the V-neck may technically be intended for she...

Thursday, October 10, 2013
$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

Good news for men itching for superpowers but hesitant to accept the body-suctioning spandex--and in this case noxious spider bite--that often accompanies them. The Marvel Electronic Spidey-Sense T-Shirt grants a heightened...

Tuesday, April 30, 2013
$799.99 from Amazon »

The 6' x 18' WaterMat is bigger than most rafts, more portable than most rafts, and won't suck so much air from your lungs during assembly that you start to feel lightheaded and then pass out and then fall off the side of...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
$245 - $345 from Etsy »

I guess I've been in a serious relationship with Jack Daniels for long enough now that I'm willing to don his ring and announce it to the world. Especially a ring as slick as this one. Check out the genuine used JD white oak...

Friday, December 27, 2013
$14.99 from Amazon »

Hmmm, ShutterBall looks like gadget fit for the MUA. But I guess that's not surprising given that people seem to enjoy taking selfies as much as they enjoy using sex toys these days. This bulbous piece of Bluetooth tech serves...

Thursday, March 20, 2014
$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

Snuggle up with God's ugliest creature. It's true. The blobfish wins all the Most Horrific Beast on the Planet contests, and as I've previously mentioned here, I think it might be my curse to be reincarnated as one. Legend...

Sunday, December 23, 2012
$49.99 from ITS Tactical »

Not that I'm one to break and enter, but...I could be if I had ITS Tactical's Titanium Entry Card. Made of aircraft grade titanium, the 0.032" thick "emergency" lock pick tool set fits just as easily into wallets as it does...

Thursday, July 11, 2013
$59.95 from Hibermate »

I love it when girls wear ear muffs. Especially big furry white ones. They give them that irresistible look of sophistication meets special needs kid. Ear muffs on guys, though? Eh. Not really acceptable. Maybe, maybe we can...

Tuesday, January 7, 2014
$11.97 from Amazon »

As you can see, Super Sculpey sculpturing compound can sculpt some pretty super sculptures. The mutant dentist's nightmare in the photo above comes courtesy of Chris Maxwell via ConceptArt. Additionally, a simple online image...

Wednesday, August 1, 2012
By: Raonhaje

What up, Jaws? You ready for a little face time with me and my impenetrable acrylic underwater sightseeing window? Korean company Raonhaje's EGO, a compact semi-submarine/motorboat hybrid, has flipped its room with a view...

Saturday, October 5, 2013
$199 from Amazon »

Tritium watches might be the most attainable alternative to the elusive tritium keychains we showed you last year, as well as to the even more elusive tritium girl I tried to make out of a 3D printer, a Barbie doll, and a...

Friday, March 15, 2013

I wonder which is less comfortable: Jimmy Kuehnle's Invisible Bike or Jimmy Kuehnle's invisible outfit. In other words, would you rather require rectal surgery or pass out from heat exhaustion and develop a full-body rash?...

Monday, June 24, 2013
$115 - $125 from JumpStartCity »

The only not titanium components in Brian Fellhoelter's TiBolt bolt action pen are the the ink cartridge, spring, O-ring, and stylus nib. It's kind of like how the only not titanium components in my rock hard body are my blood...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$6.42 from Amazon »

My immediate impression is that applying BlueMagic Invisible Glove to my hands would feel like covering them in a thin layer of Elmer's Glue. That thought gives me the willies and makes me want to vomit. Maybe the Invisible...

Saturday, February 23, 2013
$159.95 from Amazon »

Sweet, a onesie for temperatures even colder than my parents keep their house. Selk'bag's wearable sleeping bags cater to all outdoor enthusiasts looking to stay warm without the constriction of a traditional rectangular or...

Monday, February 17, 2014

Under normal circumstances, my tongue wouldn't be the first place I'd pick to be spanked. But seeing as Tonguespank Spices are coating their lashings in flavors like Garlic Grappa and Scorpion Bourbon, I guess I'd be OK with...

Monday, December 30, 2013
Giveaway: DriDown Zissou 6 Sleeping Bag 73
Giveaway Entry Is Closed

Enter to win your 700-fill of feathers with a Sierra Designs DriDown Zissou 6 sleeping bag (a $340 value!)...