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Tactical Self Defense Flashlight

By: on August 01, 2016
$18.99
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This flashlight has a super bright Cree XM-L T6 bulb so you can see...where you're jabbing its 4 diamond attack heads. They say the pointy pokers are ideal for breaking a window during a home or car emergency, but I'm pretty sure they're equally ideal for breaking the skin in an invasion of personal space emergency.

The up shit creek / self defense tool also has a protected blade at its base for gnawing through line, tape, or rope, and a switch-activated alert siren in its tailcap. The white LED lamp emits for up to 100,000 hours in 5 modes: high beam; middle beam; low beam; strobe; and SOS. The flashlight requires 1 x 18650 battery (rechargeable through built-in port; not included in purchase).

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The Camping Doughnut

Ooh, a tent that looks like one of those obstacle course tubes I used to crawl through in gym class and the fat kids used to get stuck in crawling through in gym class. The Camping Doughnut, an easily collapsible and...

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Blackstone Tailgater Portable Grill & Griddle

$172.99 - $246.35 from Amazon »

Hot cakes and a hunk of ham on a cool morning car camping in the mountains. Blackstone's Tailgater Portable Grill & Griddle makes it possible....

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Gotcha Cap Self Defense Tool

Sold Out from Amazon »

You can watch the video to see the Gotcha Cap in action, or click here to watch a GIF of it showing a punk ass watermelon what's up. Issued by FAB Defense, the Gotcha Cap is a covert self defense tool (and swell hat!)...

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SALT Self-Defense Gun

$299.99 - $349.99 from Salt Supply »

Lorenzo Maggiore already figured out how to A-Salt bugs in an effort keep our extermination of insects simple, clean, and green. Now we have a means of SALTing humans, this time in an effort to keep our defense against...

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The World's Most Powerful Laser

$299.95 from WickedLasers.com »

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers'...

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Firebiner Carabiner & Firestarter

$14.95 from Amazon »

Half-carabiner...half-firestarter. But stronger than both. Ahhh, the Firebiner hybrid is a multi-tool straight out of Underworld....

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Dango Dapper & Tactical Wallets

$69 - $89 from Dango Products »

Dango Wallets come in 2 styles. D01 is their Dapper, a clean, precision-engineered cash and card carrier. It's made of microfiber-lined leather that's secured and compartmentalized with a CNC machined 6061 aluminum chassis...

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Family Bug Out Bag

$969 from OuttaGEAR »

If my family were to bug out, probably the first thing we'd do is tear apart this bag of supplies in search of the Xanax and Scotch it does not contain to help calm ourselves down. Luckily, in the event that one of us...

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The Camperbox - Backseat Bed in a Bag

$157 - $175 from The Camperbox »

It's like The Camperbox read my mind. I was just talking about sleeping in a van down by the river. But it was in reference to Raptor's Platform XL fishing boat, what I consider to be the water-faring version of a van...

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M4 180lb Tactical Crossbow

Sold Out from Amazon »

Stealth. Stamina. Sniper sight. And that's just the M4 Tactical Crossbow itself. Like, before taking into account the litany of powerful, valiant, not-to-be-F'd-with characteristics Cornelius and I will bring to the table...

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Benthic Knife

Five seconds into a look through Triangle Krav Maga's Website and Facebook photo stream and two things become abundantly clear: these cats do not F around; and I would like an application to become one of them. After...

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CasusGrill - Biodegradable Instant BBQ

$8 from The Fowndry »

Biodegradable and 100% natural, the CasusGrill leaves no trace when you dispose of it. Which is more than I can say for the oysters my friend Cornelius grilled at his anti-Taco-Tuesday BBQ last night. I disposed of at...