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Glo-Toob Virtually Indestructible Light

By: on July 29, 2013
$13.93 - $29.99
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The Glo-toob is a banded top for ladies that burns swooning neon green, blue, red, white, or amber straight from their chesticular areas to your heart. Oh wait, no. Wrong glowing product that sounds like "boob". Correction: the Glo-toob is a compact, multi-function light with a 30-hour lithium battery that is virtually indestructible, even when knocked, bumped, or dropped out of the car window by my butter fingered friend Cornelius. That's only marginally less cool than a breast enhancer, right?

Glo-toobs serve as pocket-sized companions for camping trips, unanticipated stops on the side of the road, action sports, or any extreme situation, such as military ops or sneaking out of someone's bedroom post-sobering up and beholding the awful, awful mistake you've just made. The trusty beacons measure 2.75" long and weigh just over an ounce. After the battery lives out its inordinately long useful life like this fat diabetic Westie I once knew, it is easily replaced with another. RIP Fatty Magoo.

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Cookiray Anti-Odor Pendant Lamp

Looks like the Cookiray Anti-Odor Pendant Lamp went with Slimer Stew as the sample dish in its demo video. What the ghosts-from-hell else smokes neon green on the stovetop?...

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Tritium Keychains

Discontinued

Two things. One maybe you already know, one probably you don't. 1) Tritium is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen, and its natural occurrence on earth is extremely rare. However, the dopeness that is humankind can produce...

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Moon & Planet Lamps

$88.15 - $143.25 from Etsy »

Sleep under the light of the moon even on stormy nights, and enjoy the orange blaze of Jupiter without making futile attempts to go to Jupiter with one of these sweet spherical lamps from Pulsar Moonlight. Each is a unique...

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Slap It Butt Lamp

$225 from Slap It »

I really appreciate how un-stuffy and...cheeky the Brits' sense of humor is. Sorry, humour. For example, I'd like to give whomever created this lamp a big slap on the back to show my admiration. And then a big approving...

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Globe Terrarium Lamps

$380 - $460 from Richard Clarkson »

The amount of light Richard Clarkson's Globe handblown glass terrarium lamps provide looks to be a few watts shy of enough to keep you from embossing your foot with a LEGO brick after dark. But suspended from the ceiling...

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Lamp Plants

$85 - $145 from Etsy »

Where the Red Fern Glows...you'll find Mariana Folberg's Lamp Plants. The artist behind Mar de Fe designs took inspiration from the rain forest to construct a thriving pot of green-lit leaves. Add one of the lamps to...

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Luminoodle LED TV Backlight

$19.99 from Amazon »

If you've been using your noodle you've probably learned how valuable a bendy rope of lights can be. And now your flexible, adaptable, bright-burning noodle has a new form with yet another application: TV backlighting....

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Dummy Placeholder Batteries

$8.99 from Amazon »

Looking to mod your Nerf gun with some lithium-ion muscle? Or maybe just use a single, more powerful rechargeable battery in a device than normally runs on a pair of alkaline AAs? Dummy Batteries mimic the cylindrical...

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Mini Titanium Katana with Tritium Insert

$149 from Metal Worn »

Just as the Bride conquered O-Ren Ishii with a Hattori Hanzo katana, Metal Worn has conquered the ultimate gift for a geek with their Ti-Katana, a miniature titanium katana sword whose tsuka contains a tritium vial insert....

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Titanium Alloy Tritium Keychains

Sold Out from Amazon »

OK, this is like the Goldilocks & the Three Bears of tritium keychains. The first set we featured was by far the coolest and most coveted, but also the hardest to acquire. Many readers deemed the task impossible. Then...

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The Rings of the Gauntlet of Power

$50 - $1,250 from Shapeways »

Some people find inspiration in nature. Some in music. Or love. Or lust. Jarvis Latteier speaks my kind of inspirational language though, finding his in the universe of Marvel. Here, Latteier has 3D-fabricated his interest...

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Heng Balance Magnetic Switch Lamp

Newton's Cradle meets abacus meets the first day of creation in the Heng Balance Lamps. Li Zanwen created his series of square, oval, and circular beechwood desk lamps with a pair of magnetic wooden balls on strings at...