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Bulletproof Clipboard

By: on November 25, 2013
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Know why I need a bulletproof clipboard? The same reason I need a tactical beer mug: so that I'm prepared the 1 in 1,000,000 times I need to go Jason Bourne in protecting and defending myself, and so that I'm prepared the 999,999 in 1,000,000 times I just need something righteous to hold my Bud Light Lime/drawings of unicorns eating baby back ribs. Also, once my friend Cornelius sees what I put in his shampoo and conditioner bottles while he was away on his first weekend trip with the vegan girlfriend, I might need a bulletproof clipboard to protect me from the gatling gun's worth of rubber bands he's going to fire at me.

Hardwire's 10" x 13" bulletproof clipboard weighs only 1 pound, but can absorb multiple rounds of ammo from any handgun or shotgun without ricochet or injury. Weapons successfully tested in the above video range from a 9mm to a .44 Magnum. Clipboards come in carbon fiber or camouflage finishes.

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Full Metal Jacket Jeep

$106,888 from Starwood Motors »

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AdrenaSuit - Bulletproof & Superpowered

The fit is hitting the shan. The adrenaline dam has busted, and your fight-or-flight response is sprinting at a world-record-setting pace. What does it look like? Are you stepping up? Freezing up? Freaking out? Peacing...

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Gotcha Cap Self Defense Tool

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You can watch the video to see the Gotcha Cap in action, or click here to watch a GIF of it showing a punk ass watermelon what's up. Issued by FAB Defense, the Gotcha Cap is a covert self defense tool (and swell hat!)...

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Steel Self Defense Bracelet

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Self defense or self-inflicted injury? Swingin' 'round this full steel bracelet like a chain whip without really knowing how to swing 'round a chain whip, it could really go either way....

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Fast Strike Self Defense Weapon

$22.95 from Amazon »

It's called Fast Strike and - whirwhack! - it's gonna sting. The non-lethal self defense weapon looks like the antenna on the cordless phone my family had growing up. Which, coincidentally, also kinda hurt when someone...

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Five seconds into a look through Triangle Krav Maga's Website and Facebook photo stream and two things become abundantly clear: these cats do not F around; and I would like an application to become one of them. After...

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Sap Cap - Weaponized Baseball Hat

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Unassuming. Low-profile. Comfortable. Able to shatter wrist bones. Just the combination of qualities I've been looking for in a baseball hat. The Sap Cap takes traditional headwear to the covert weapon level with its...

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Anti-Kidnapping Watch Band

$20 from Gearward »

Mark Greenman has seen the TIHK and raised it a ceramic razor blade, a 4' Kevlar friction saw, and one trip to the lower hemisphere. In his own words: I designed the A-K Band because I plan on traveling to South America...

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Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun

$62.03 from Amazon »

When it comes to delivery method, punching someone in the face has 3 tiers of awesome: 1) Bare fist; 2) Fist coated in brass knuckles; 3) Fist coated in brass knuckles juiced up to deliver 950,000 volts of blue lightning...

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Neck Carriage Titanium Palm Cap Stick

$35.95 from Amazon »

Ti Rod Tactical's Titanium Palm Cap Stick might be the most strangely versatile piece of EDC you can hang around your neck. The 5" long x 0.44" in diameter piece is made of an aerospace grade 5 titanium rod, surrounded...

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Diamond Armor - $3.2 Million Bulletproof Suit

$3.2 million from SuitArt »

At $3.2 million, Swiss fashion house SuitArt's Diamond Armor has nabbed the title of Most Expensive Suit in the World. The current title. I will obliterate it next month when I debut my Diamond & Adamantium Armor for...

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Monkey Fist Paracord Self Defense Keychain

$12.99 from Monkey Armor »

"This Monkey Fist unit looks like a simple harmless keychain. However, in the unfortunate event that you need to defend yourself this powerful self defense keychain will stun and maim your attacker." And how is that?...