Outdoors

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Monster Ski Masks

Discontinued

I know, I know, it's the height of summer, and not only is this a collection of knitted winter ski masks, it's a collection of somewhat perplexing Monster Ski Masks that range from Kitschy Polka-Dotted S&M Beast to Black...

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Steak Button Thermometers

$19.95 from Sur La Table »

In my pursuit to acquire devices that allow me to think and reason even less than I already do, I discovered the Steak Button. A set of 4 thermometers designed specifically for beef on the grill or in the oven, Steak...

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Giant Steampunk Dragon

$15k from Etsy »

According to artist Kreatworks' Etsy listing, 7,900+ people have seen the thunderous magnificence of their Giant Steampunk Dragon. But if you're one of the billions left on earth who still haven't, check it. Standing...

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Insta-Kilt Towel

$18.99 - $29.95 from Amazon »

I've been wondering would there ever be a way, when I'm extracting sand and the salty ocean from my crevices, or toweling off after a shower, that I could feel as if I'm traipsing through the Scottish Highlands, communing...

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Jetovator Water-Propelled Stunt Bike

$8,975 from Jetovator »

I've always wondered what envy in its purest form would look like. Thank you, Jetovator, now I know. In a monumentally sick display of flight and water-walking capabilities typically reserved for superheroes, Chuck Norris...

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Giant Inflatable Beach Ball

$149.99 from Amazon »

In a sweeping display of calling a duck a duck, the makers of this plastic sphere that balloons to 10 feet in diameter when injected with air have named their creation: Giant Inflatable Beach Ball. And truly, when I look...

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The Barbecue Dining Boat

Here's a practical, $50,000 solution to the conundrum of...ummm...BBQing on float trips without leaving the water? Executing the 1-2 punch of catching and cooking fish to order? Romantic roundtable dining cruises with...

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M16 Rifle BBQ Lighter

Sold Out from Amazon »

I wanted to spend $7,950 on the Colt .45 BBQ Grill, but the tradeoff would have been making my kid go through life with buck teeth and an overbite. So, after much soul searching...$8 grand worth of extensive dental work...

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Blacktop 360 Party Hub Grill

Sold Out from Amazon »

Master of the Grill, do you have what it takes to be Master of the Grill, Griddle, Deep Fryer and Warming Plate? The Blacktop 360-Degree Party Grill combines all four methods of heat conduction into one massive, all-inclusive...

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Doctor Who TARDIS Beach Towel

$13.15 from Amazon »

The TARDIS' last launch through the Time Vortex seems to have rendered the vessel two-dimensional. And...terry cloth. But a TARDIS Beach Towel is great news for pool and beach bums in search of the summer's definitive...

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Floating Rope Swing

A floating rope swing. This seems like the type of toy that forever marks someone as the Rich Kid. When I was little, the Rich Kids had TVs with remote controls and bathrooms they didn't have to share with anyone else....

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TailGator - Gas Powered Blender

Sold Out from Amazon »

Ahhh, summertime. Smells like freshly cut...margaritas. Thanks to the TailGator, a blender with cajones the size of a 25cc Poulan 2-stroke, 2 1/2 horsepower gas engine. It's not a new product--or the only one of its kind...

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Shotgun Planter

$300 from Voos Furniture »

Bestowed with one-of-a-kind status, and forged from antique rifle stock, the Shotgun Planter now gives life to mosses, tiny shrubs, and delicate flowers instead of taking it from pheasants, hogs, and cousins named Darryl...

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Cthulhu Ski Mask

$24.99 from ToyVault »

When it's cold on the slopes, the only thing better than wearing a toasty warm ski mask is wearing a toasty warm ski mask whose Lovecraftian green tentacles scare the ever loving shit out of fellow downhillers. The Cthulhu...

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Backyard Dunk Tank

$3,728 from Amazon »

A backyard dunk tank will translate to hours upon hours of slightly mean-spirited amusement on a hot day. Not to mention a few more dollars in sales for Apple when half of the eager beavers scrambling for the platform...

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The Dutch Tub

$6,560 from Weltevree »

According to manufacturer Weltevree, using the Dutch Tub is like "slipping inside a teacup." I'm not sure submersing myself in a vat of English Breakfast has ever been at the forefront of my fantasies, but, hey, these...

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Bladefish Personal Waterjet

Sold Out from Amazon »

Sink or swim...or get a machine to do the dirty work. The BladeFish SeaJet is a battery-operated underwater scooter for zippin' around with the fishies during SCUBA and snorkeling adventures. "Scooter", rather than "jet"...

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The Tentanic 1,000-Person Tent

$11,882 from Firebox.com »

Ahhh, the Tentanic is cruising towards shore just in time for both camping season, and the 3D re-release of Leonardo DiCaprio's most humiliating 3 hours on the big screen. A 1:2 scale replica of the luxurious Titanic...

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Colt .45 BBQ Grill

$7,950 from Etsy »

Ready, aim...fire up the grill! What kind of meat are you packin'? BBQ with a bang. Ribs that will knock 'em dead. Your shot at culinary perfection. A stallion in the bedroom, a Colt .45 on the grill. Anyone else? Contributions...

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WaveJet Motorized Surfboard

$2,500 from WaveJet »

"Aquamotive Technology" and "Personal Water Propulsion" devices are what WaveJet water pods term themselves. I think that's a fancy way to say "Go-Go-Gadget surfboard". Rechargeable and controlled wirelessly with a wristband...

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Outdoor Shower

$760 from VITEOSHOWER »

The only thing better than a water shower cascading down from above is a water shower shooting up from below. Champions of bidets and enemas, you know what we're talking about, 'ey? And though the photos depict fancy...

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Cremation Ash Fireworks Memorial

$5,500 from Angels Flight »

Out with a bang indeed. Angels Flight's sunset fireworks displays put the memorable in memorial service, commemorating recently-passed loved ones with spectrally brilliant explosives made from their cremated remains....

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iPhone SCUBA Case

$84.95 from TAT7 »

The iPhone SCUBA Case: Impenetrable like your psyche, yet accessible like your heart. TAT7 has developed this bruiser of an outer shell to protect iPhone 4/4S models to a dive depth of 100 feet, while allowing user access...

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Great Bowl O' Fire Steel Firepit

$2,300 from Etsy »

The Great Bowl O' Fire proves that taking a torch to a flammable gas storage tank can occasionally create something besides a massive explosion. A closer look at sculptor John Unger's poetic take on flames housing flames...

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The One-Person Bike Tent

$229.99 from Amazon »

Is it sun-blazin', mosquito-laden, river-floatin', mountain-bikin', pop-a-tent-in-the woods season yet? Segue from winter into the months of the year that don't make people want to jump off highway overpasses with the...

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Crash Landing Flying Saucer Statue

$269 from Design Toscano »

Here's the crash. The burn is what the Joneses are going to feel when you get ahold of this phantasmagorical post-collision flying saucer statue first. Oh how revelers at the annual Star Wars garden party will delight...

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Seabreacher Shark X Water Jet

$90k from Seabreacher »

Seabreacher water jets snugly seat two people with exceptional control over their stomachs and bowels for a nautical roller coaster ride of dives, breaches, spins, and respective surface and subsurface speeds of up to...

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The Watermelon Tent

$784.03 from Field Candy »

Pop art enthusiasts, soul foodies, and vegan grizzly bears, prepare to have your minds blown. The Watermelon Tent is a fantastically realistic slice of summer's finest, that's more than just a kitschy showpiece. Designed...

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Subwing - Underwater Hang Glider

$490 - $895 from Subwing »

You know those dreams you have when you're flying, spinning, disoriented, or drowning? They're all about to come true. At once. The SUBWING underwater glider attaches to a rope and boat at one end, and your death grip...

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Woodfired Kettle Grill Pizza

$199.95 from Amazon »

The KettlePizza insert takes homely, mediocre 22.5" kettle grills, such as Webers and Stoks, and magically transforms them into flashy, gourmet, pseudo-woodfired pizza ovens capable of putting New York slices, Chicago...

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Backcountry Boiler

$79 - $119 from The Boilerwerks »

The Backcountry Boiler is a portable, lightweight chimney kettle--the first of its kind, according to creator, Devin Montgomery--that gives campers, backpackers, and those with very mild cases of pyromania the pleasures...

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Planet Earth Globe Fire Pit

Ahhh, a globe-shaped fire pit whose flaming cutouts are our planet Earth's continents. Just like my grandma always said: the next time the world goes down, it's going down in flames. This sinister piece of social commentary...

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Lace Fence - Stylized Chain Link Designs

What does your chain link fence say about you? Nothing? What if it were inlaid with intricate designs of lace, leaves, butterflies, kings of the jungle, or the face of Darth Vadar? Lace Fence is a traditional, fully functional...

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BioLite CampStove and Device Charger

$128.95 from Amazon »

No gas, no juice, no problem. BioLite's petrochemical-free CampStove and USB device charger burns hot with full battery power during all seasons of backpacking, camping, and chillin' hermit-like in the woods. Using only...

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Big Gay Inflatable Snowman

$199.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

This "casually" posed inflatable snowman certainly makes a statement "lounging" in your pristine front lawn. And that statement is that two gay guys live here. Five internal lights illuminate the snowman, making him look...

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Pet Peek Dog Window

$38.99 from Amazon »

The Pet Peek is a 9-1/2" acrylic dome installed in your pre-existing wood or vinyl fence that instills the pant-wetting fear in Jehovah's Witnesses, kids selling little league raffle tickets, and other unwanted visitors...

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Combat Garden Gnome

$65 from Etsy »

People just can't wait to pervert emblems of peace and goodwill, can they? First the benevolent garden gnome goes zombie and now he's Charlton Heston. Still, at under a foot tall, these combative cuties make perfect pairs--or...

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Crossbow Snowball Launcher

$32.99 from Amazon »

Concussion, anyone? The Crossbow Snow Launcher blasts a sizable wad of hard-packed snow up to 60 feet to strike the included target (yeah, like that's ever making it out of the box) or wallop your deserving victim. Schoolyard...

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The Shit Box

$22 from Firebox.com »

For some, the rush of peace and relaxation associated with smoking marijuana are unparalleled. So when innovative people who are desperate to toke out find themselves without a prefabricated bong or pipe, they improvise...

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Go Dog Go Lazy Man's Fetch

$124.99 from Go Dog Go Inc. »

I wish there was a Go Dog Go version of everything. To be clear, what I'm saying is that I never want to have to move again. I'm sure my dog is too stupid to figure this thing out (takes after his owner) but, maybe I...

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Propane Tank LEGO Head

Great DIY project idea to turn your boring cobweb speckled gas tank into a piece of artwork. This doesn't even look too difficult. Even I might be able to get this done. I'm not going to, but knowing I could makes me...

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The Thumbsaver

Sold Out from Amazon »

Why didn't I think of this? Probably because I've only hammered a few times in my life and it was usually into drywall. In a world of tools born from overdone simplicity, this is actually practical and functional. Protects...

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VW Camper Tent

$499 from Amazon »

Hey man... like wanna come hang out in my bus? I wonder what goes on in a tent like this? I doubt there would be any drugs that's for sure. And probably nobody with a guitar or patchouli smell. Definitely no rastafarian...

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Crime Scene Beach Towel

Discontinued

Perfect for a long lazy nap on the beach after a 12 pack of duff beer the night before. It measures a full 30" x 60" and is made of a super absorbent velour. Velour! I've always wanted to drape myself in velour....

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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie

$37 from Etsy »

This is what we call an imperfect synergy. In the battle of the two tackiest, yet most often seen yard decorations (no offense fake plastic deer), it looks as if the gnomes have won. And it was bloody. Zombie gnomes 1...

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Hurricane Proof Dome Home

Hurricane Irene, meet your match. The air form concrete dome is a hurricane survivor. Not only does the dome's round shape allow the water to flow around it, much as the ocean rushes around a light house, its weight...

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340 N Kanan Dume Rd Malibu, CA

$49 million from Yahoo »

Think the washer and dryer are included? This place has to be seen to be believed. Can someone who lives in LA drive by there and tell them you want to get some video for DudeIWantThat.com? Also get a video of their response...

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Gigantic Inflatable Climbing Iceberg

Discontinued

Finally, an affordable 14 foot inflatable climbing iceberg. It was only a matter of time before economies of scale took over and they were able to mass product climbing icebergs for such a bargain price. Hey, find 60...

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Gas Powered Snowboard

This is the gas-powered vehicle that combines the thrill of riding a snowmobile and the freedom of a snowboard, enabling you to surf effortlessly over the deepest fresh powder or on packed, granular snow....

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Wolverine Style Hand Claw Dagger

Sold Out from Amazon »

What the WTF Amazon? You're in the weapons trade now? These costume-y looking hand claws have real blades of razor-sharp, 8.75-inch, 440C stainless steel, which make them exponentially and disturbingly more portentous...

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6350 Camino De La Costa

$29.5 million from Yahoo »

Trophy home alert! Ah... finally, a quaint little cottage with a water view. That's all I ask for. Not much. And although moving is a hug PITA, this place seems like it might ease the blow. It might even be fun if I was...

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The Villa Mar Vista Estate

$19.95 million from Yahoo »

Do you have $20 mil burning a hole in your shorts? It's worth less every second as we watch the financial world crumble beneath us. And you know what they say, "buy land, God ain't makin' any more of it". Well, we've...

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Stuffed Hamburger Press

Designed to make burgers better than ever, this innovative tool shapes perfect meat patties, then stuffs them with your favorite savory fillings. Fun and easy to use, it's perfect for all sorts of burgers, from juicy...

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Bear Grylls Ultimate Survival Kit

$66.49 from Amazon »

This is some real MacGyver shit right here. This kit has absolutely everything. And even though Bear Grylls was found to be a big fake and a liar and a fraud and gay, this survival kit will save your ass the next time...

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Darkfin Gloves

$25.95 from DarkfinGloves.com »

Ever wondered what it might be like to have webbed fingers? Wonder no longer. These durable latex rubber gloves will have you flying by other frogs in the water. Perfect for SCUBA diving, swimming, surfing, and even jumping...

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Yosemite Paddle Boards

I've seen people standing on these paddling half way across the damn ocean, flirting with whales and Loche Ness monsters and shit. They're hand crafted, measure 11 feet 3 inches, feature simple, timeless designs, and...

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Inflatable Water Ball

$500 from Opulent Items »

Jesus will have nothing on you if you just buy this ball. You'll be walking on water in no time. It looks like it would be a huge pain in the ass to blow it up though. I know my pack a day habit would make it very difficult...

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See Through Bottom Canoe

Sold Out from Amazon »

Ahhh. It's a see-through canoe/kayak that seats two and provides the perfect setting for a romantic, yet adventurous date of paddling the high seas and taking in all of its technicolored fishies, regally swaying anemones...