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Life-Size Animated Talking Reindeer

By: on November 27, 2013
$5,400
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The idea of Dasher, a life-size reindeer that talks and moves, is decent, but, uh...did they have to give him the voice of Ross Matthews? MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Let's hang pink and purple stockings! At least that's how he sounds in speech. When Dasher hauls out the holiday carols, though, behold: instant transformation from Ross Matthews to Burl Ives.

Also, the patterning of Dasher's fur growth, at least in this photo, makes it look like he has a dingleberry hanging right beneath his tail.

And now for the reasons you would like to add a life-size animated talking reindeer to your collection of Christmas cheer. According to Dasher, your front yard is going to be severely lacking without his European handcraftedness, and likeness to real reindeers frolicking in their natural habitat. He even comes with a "Toys that Teach" tag detailing his native home, lifestyle, and favorite foods (i.e., deluxe stable outside magical workshop, like a pimp in a permanent fur coat, peppermint sticks and troughs of Lucky Charms marshmallows.)

Coup de grace: Dasher the talking, singing, and gesturing reindeer may be ridden, as in mounted and giddy-upped, by children. And--and!--adults weighing up to 150 pounds. Yep, yep, one more reason to keep up the Weight Watchers, J Simp.