Flowtron Bug Zapper
Oh boy, I could hardly contain my excitement when I saw they still make these UV bug zappers. My grandma had one when I was growing up in the Midwest and in the summertime we'd sit on her patio and bond over electrocuting mosquitos. Bugs in the Midwest are prolific and horrendous. Kind of like beards in the Pacific Northwest. But for some reason bugs are more acceptable to zap with a Flowtron than dudes with beards.
Though innocuous and lantern-like in appearance, the Flowtron electronic insect killer instantly ends the existence of pesky winged flesh fiends, leaving behind nothing but a clog-free grid. The bearer of that which makes being outdoors in hot, muggy climates bearable comes in 3 sizes, each covering an infested area of 1/2 to 1-1/2 acres. Ideal for bzzz!ing mosquitos, gnats, and biting flies, the zapper also proves highly entertaining when impacted by wads of spit and loogies. Use in conjunction with the Bug-A-Salt shotgun to claim your title as the Chuck Norris of the insect world.