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Insta-Kilt Towel

By: on June 23, 2012
  • Insta-Kilt Towel
  • Insta-Kilt Towel in Red and Green
$18.99 - $29.95
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I've been wondering would there ever be a way, when I'm extracting sand and the salty ocean from my crevices, or toweling off after a shower, that I could feel as if I'm traipsing through the Scottish Highlands, communing with mossy bogs and mountain goats, and blowing "Loch Lomond" on the bagpipes. Which I have just picked up and learned to play intuitively. The answer is yes. The answer is the Insta-Kilt Towel.

Available in red, green, or blue, Insta-Kilt towels turn beach, pool, or bath time into a crowd-pleasing display of Celtic Thunder. In addition, their 100% cotton terry construction and generous 30" x 60" sizing renders the towels much better than traditional wool kilts for going commando without developing a curious and tortuously itchy rash that requires continuous doses of Benadryl, or the application of cortisone to one's junk.

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You Need More Than Balls: Top 10 Water Toys

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Human Burrito Blanket

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A couple of giant Human Burrito Blankets will make sure your Tortilla Baby knows who Mommy and Daddy are. At 5' in diameter, I'd be able to roll up one fine bean, cheese, rice, and man meat burrito in this flour tortilla...

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TRITON - Human Gills

Discontinued

TRITON, the human gills design concept I showed you dudes here 2 years ago (and which many of you had mucho to say about in our comments section) is running a crowdfunding campaign to actually produce the equpiment. TRITONs....

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Scorkl Handheld SCUBA Tank

$200 - $600 from Kickstarter »

Bite down on a Scorkl and you'll score 10 minutes of untethered underwater breathing. No snorkel confining you to a foot below the water's surface, and no loading up with a 35-pound SCUBA tank and BC like an aquatic pack...

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Modpools - Shipping Container Swimming Pools

$26,900 from Modpools »

Rather the seal him inside a shipping container bound for Abu Dhabi, why not fill that shipping container with water and let Odie dog paddle around inside it with you this summer? Dig up a big hole in your backyard, and...

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Swim Desk

$1,999.99 from ThinkGeek »

While great for your joints I'm not so sure how good the Swim Desk is going to be for your computer and mobile phone. Definitely recommend keeping a vat of rice on hand while work-stroking at it. And also maybe an EMT...

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Underwater Jetpack

Supermarinovation asks, "Have you ever been snorkelling and seen something incredible below you, but haven't been able to get to it before your breath runs out?" To which I say, "Sure." And follow up with, "And have you...

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AquaClimb Poolside Water Walls

Does AquaClimb's addition of a swimming pool to the bottom of a rock climbing wall make the activity less or more likely to score me a ride in an ambulance? Less because when I inevitably fall--repeatedly--I will hit...

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Ameo Powerbreather

$149.99 from Amazon »

Somewhere between the decidedly unrealistic TRITON human gills and the somewhat limiting Easybreath, bob Ameo's series of high-performance snorkels, the Powerbreathers. These upgraded underwater oxygen channels are intended...

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Sand-Free Beach Mat

$34.95 - $99.95 from Amazon »

I would like it very much if CGear's Sand-Free Multimat stayed sand-free by emitting an invisible dome barrier that repelled...no, forcefully rejected all granular compounds...and children...that got within a foot of...

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Mysseuse Self-Massager & Towel Holder

$19.99 from Amazon »

I've makeshift Mysseuse-d myself on the corner of a wall or door more times than I can count. And self-massages with devices like the Shiatsu Pillow and doohickies like the Beastie Bar have become pretty popular for kneading...

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Dude Wipes

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Dude Wipes: A Brief Overview of Audience and Application. Dude Wipes are for dudes. And every once in while--say, every 18 to 24 hours--dudes tend to have an especially...explosive...encounter with the bathroom. The kind...