61

Giant Cockroach Float

By: on May 16, 2014
  • Giant Cockroach Float
  • Giant Cockroach Float
  • Giant Cockroach Float
  • Giant Cockroach Float
  • Giant Cockroach Float
Sold Out from
Check It Out

Don't worry. The makers of the Giant Cockroach assure us that, like sexy time toys and weight loss pills, your 6-foot-tall, 40-inch-wide pool float crafted in the image of the country's most reviled vermin will ship in a plain brown box to protect your reputation. Unless you're ordering a Giant Cockroach as a gag gift or want to exact revenge upon the UPS guy. In that case, the company will ink the box with their CAUTION: Contents include cockroach the size of Zach Galifianakis stamp.

I don't know about you, but being able to ride a massive brown hexapod around the community center pool this summer while all the little kids worship me as Roach Master and their stick-up-the-trunk mothers give me dirty looks could solidify our impending season as the best of my life. Giddy-up, Hank! Let's see those legs scurry through the water as fast as they do across my floor when I catch you eating the rest of the Kung Pao chicken I was too lazy to throw out before I crashed on the couch last night!

As its creators openly admit, Nothing says "Weird" like a six-foot-tall-inflatable cockroach. Especially when you can float on it. They recommend everyone aged 12 and over either add a Giant Cockroach to their own family, or ship one off to a deserving recipient, such as a favorite entomologist or exterminator, World's Best Dad on Father's Day, or the guy who needs another passenger to use the HOV lane. Obviously a Giant Cockroach float will also change the life of any man who habitually strikes out with the ladies.

The Giant Cockroach float is a top Dude Novelty Gift pick.

Check it out

You Need More Than Balls: Top 10 Water Toys

Beach balls are classic and rectangular rafts still keep you afloat, but the creativity, tech, and fat wallets of today demand a little more of water-based entertainment. Here are my picks for the Top 10 Water Toys of...

Check it out

TRITON - Human Gills

Discontinued

TRITON, the human gills design concept I showed you dudes here 2 years ago (and which many of you had mucho to say about in our comments section) is running a crowdfunding campaign to actually produce the equpiment. TRITONs....

Check it out

Water Walker Underwater Treadmill

You know those dreams you have where you're trying to run towards or away from something, but you just...can't...make...your feet...move? It's like running through quicksand, or setting concrete, or...on an underwater...

Check it out

Zerobody Anti-Gravity Bed

The Zerobody is a sensory deprivation float tank that removes the one major P in the A side effect of floating: getting wet. (True, drowning is kind of a pain too, but most of these tanks have only about a foot of water...

Check it out

aRks 3D Printed Bikinis

aRks 3D has prototyped a series of 3D printed bikinis they call Coral. And I know what all the dudes out there are thinking: that's some Coral I'd sure like to come across in the ocean. In stark contrast what's running...

Buy Now

8-Person Island Raft

$120 - $319 from Amazon »

What is there to say about Tropical Tahiti's floating island raft fit for you and 7 of your favorite water-lovin', sun-soakin', float-happy, swimsuit-clad cats besides P-A-R-T-Y and O-R-G-Y?...

Check it out

Hidden Water Pools

One time a couple of minutes ago I saw a patio that turned into a swimming pool! That's crazy! Almost Fletcher Capstan expandable table proportions of crazy, and definitely more in compliance with my agenda of spending...

Check it out

Modpools - Shipping Container Swimming Pools

$26,900 from Modpools »

Rather the seal him inside a shipping container bound for Abu Dhabi, why not fill that shipping container with water and let Odie dog paddle around inside it with you this summer? Dig up a big hole in your backyard, and...

Buy Now

The Wonder Cart Table & Beach Cart

$45.99 from Amazon »

Calling this beach gear cart and table combo The Wonder Cart might be a bit of an overstatement. Sure, it's handy to be able to use the carrier to schlep all your towels and floats to the perfect spot, and then flip it...

Check it out

Swim Desk

$1,999.99 from ThinkGeek »

While great for your joints I'm not so sure how good the Swim Desk is going to be for your computer and mobile phone. Definitely recommend keeping a vat of rice on hand while work-stroking at it. And also maybe an EMT...

Check it out

The Softub

$3,595 - $5,195 from Softub »

Indoors, outdoors, on a dock in the middle of the river with a thatch roof on top. The Softub is the kind of hot tub that goes where and does what you tell it to. Without lip and without draining your wallet....

Buy Now

Inflatable Floating Bathtub

$64.98 from Amazon »

Bathtime anytime! This portable inflatable bathtub fills up for sudsing up in front of the TV, outside the RV, even on the lake. Because, yes, it also floats. And with a zip-up top cover to keep the water warm, built-in...