189

Bird Cage Table

By: on August 20, 2013

Wow. It's a wonder that Gregoire de Laforrest's Cage Archibird can be so stunningly beautiful, yet also so stunningly the antithesis of sanitation. A bird cage built into a functional table? A table that looks primed and ready for, say, a DIY taco buffet? Ugh. It's almost as bad as cat owners who allow their litter box pee- and poo-footed felines to walk all over their kitchen countertops. G-ross. Might as well just sit some ampules of Chlamydia psittaci bacteria in the cage with a detonator set to go off at the height of Thanksgiving dinner.

My dad used to have a bird. He kept it caged in the far corner of our kitchen and I had to hold my breath every time I walked by it for fear of inhaling some infectious disease emanating from its perpetual deposits of swirly green-and-white shit. Then one day the family Shih Tzu lured the bird down from its protective perch and shook it to death. A highly intelligent dog that Domino was.

de Laforrest constructed his bird cage table as a piece of art and, since he's French, probably a piece of contemptuous social commentary as well. Like about how society always tries to stifle people with wings, keeping them caged and close to the ground. Or how from a waist-down, Cage Archibird bird's-eye view, the world is nothing but a bunch of asses, dicks, and see you next Tuesdays.

Muchas danke to Geekologie.

Buy Now

The Wonder Cart Table & Beach Cart

$40.61 from Amazon »

Calling this beach gear cart and table combo The Wonder Cart might be a bit of an overstatement. Sure, it's handy to be able to use the carrier to schlep all your towels and floats to the perfect spot, and then flip it...

Check it out

Fletcher Capstan - World's Coolest Expandable Table

World's. Coolest. Not an understatement. Take 10 seconds to watch the Fletcher Capstan expandable table video, and the rest of the day off work to recover from your blown mind. Or maybe you'll disagree that the mesmerizing...

Buy Now

Keter Cool Bar - Outdoor Table & Cooler

$139.99 from Amazon »

I don't have a lot of space for outdoor furniture, so I like the double duty Keter's Cool Bar has agreed to pull for me. Part side table, part - surprise! - cooler, and it doesn't even look big and clunky, or like an...

Check it out

The Bird's Nest Bed

The Bird's Nest Bed can accommodate up to 16 people at once. Take note swingers, Mormons, women undergoing IVF treatments, and the Duggar family! The giant basin of comfort was brainstormed and brought to life by O*GE...

Check it out

Float Levitating Table

$10k - $20k from Rock Paper Robot »

Oh holy balls, it's a Rubik's Cube with the structural integrity of a marshmallow. In laymen's terms. In technical terms, the Float table is "a matrix of 'magnetized' wooden cubes that levitate with respect to one another."...

Check it out

Working Nintendo Controller Coffee Table

$6k from Etsy »

What holds feet, beer, and the controls that will drive your world-record-setting Tetris score? Feast your eyes on the fully-functional Nintendo Controller Coffee Table. Charles Lushear has entwined old school entertainment...

Check it out

DIY Geodesic Garden Dome Kit

$150 from Build with Hubs »

Hey, kid, go find me some sticks! Sixty-five of them to be exact. Hubs' DIY Garden Dome Kit is a box of "Hubs" and hardware you can use to create and snap together frame pieces to build sturdy geodesic structures. Use...

Check it out

The Don Vino Wine Table

$3,500 - $5k from Chicone »

I'm crowning the Don Vino Wine Table "The Godfather of Wine Storage." Not just because creator Chicone Cabinetmakers has given it the Italian Don honor, but also because it is a unique, classy, and dually functional piece...

Check it out

Oscillot Cat Containment System

On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...

Check it out

The Abyss Table

$9,960 from Duffy London »

I don't know if falling onto Duffy London's forthcoming oceanic cross-section coffee table will send you into The Abyss, but I can almost guarantee running into it will stub all of your toes and bloody your entire leg...

Check it out

JAG Communal Grill Table

$2,499 - $2,999 from JAG Grill »

I don't really want a JAG Grill for myself. I mean, it's a lot of money and seems like a lot of work to put together and maintain, and then you have to, like, clean it.... But I am very much in favor of someone I know...

Buy Now

Kotatsu Heated Table

Sold Out from Amazon »

Do you have to be a girl to want one of these super-cozy-looking Japanese Kotatsu? Do you have to be a girl to use the term "super-cozy-looking?" Oh well then. Call me a big ol' girl and send me a big ol' heated blanket...