Household

I don't just tear through books, I impale them. Particularly those with sad endings. F those books! I read to escape my unhappy reality, not to face the gut-wrenching effects of love, death, and temporal shifts while finishing...

Installing Jonny Glow strips on your toilet will preclude stubbed toes, bumped knees, smacked elbows, total face plants, and pissing on the cat during semi-conscious orienteering trips to the bathroom in the pitch black of...

According to the Handbook for the Recently Deceased, the Beetlejuice Terrarium is an accurately-depicted scale model of the Maitland-Deetz estate, replete with fence posts, dirt driveway, the foreboding, Burton-esque tree...

My problem is that I'm so busy trying to Think Big that I often forget to Think Rational. Scott Amron obviously does not have this problem. His Rinser Toothbrush, whose tunneled handle serves as a spout that shoots faucet...

Who isn't a fan of checking out innards these days? Particularly when the innards belong to our favorite film creatures--Mogwais, Gremlins, Martians, Predators, Xenomorphs--and particularly when the versions we used to cut...

It's a toss up which I like more: killing bucks or killing the lights. Both carry potentially high returns. If you know what I mean. So thanks very much to Pixil 3D for creating an antler switchplate that will enable me to...

For the dog: Italian greyhounds seem like fragile, sensitive creatures, so I'm going to let the fact that you're wearing a canine snowsuit with a 270-degree hood drawstringed tightly around your head in this photo slide without...

If you're a Double Helix Fan Club member, but can't make it to Japan to clone your face, and find the prospect of being mug-melded with your sister a little disturbing, check out this subtler artistic representation of your...

This belongs on The Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings. This bed made of ash and featuring silk curtains, is part of a collection of furniture. I think this bed is probably too good for me. If I laid my dirty feet down on...

Equally adept at keeping your more retarded friends locked in as getting them all killed in a fire, the Defendius Labyrinth Security Lock is a pretty cool concept. Wouldn't this be better for impeding entry to keep all of...

Italian designer Rodolfo Rocchetti has turned three menacing beasts of the jungle into living room sofas: the tiger; the panther; and, most nightmarishly of all, the cow. Moooooo. Ugh, who decided cows were acceptable subjects...

I can't think of a better way to greet my guests, guard my house, and make myself feel perpetually on the brink of getting the shit kicked out of me than the mounted head of Christopher Walken. The most disturbing former Broadway...

Your face on the wedding cake topper? Hell yeah! This is, after all your mother f'in' day, and for once, just once, everything damn well should be all about you! Oh, and whomever that person standing next to you in front of...

WORX's JawSaw endeavors to make limbing and trimming efforts--which help the arrival of fall suck even more--slightly less of a pain in the ass. Part pruner, part chainsaw, the JawSaw's extendable handle and electrical powering...

The subject matter: 80s and 90s WWF legends. Wrestlers who earned their status through killer showmanship, illustrative identities, and annihilatory moves that, 20+ years later, make them recognizable by little more than their...

For hosts, no more contracting pink eye or ocular herpes from smooshing your cornea against the peephole. For guests, no more wondering how much worse your wide hips or severe jaw line look magnified and distorted on the other...

Nothing gives me more satisfaction than finding new and exciting ways of flipping people off. First, an umbrella, and now, a housekey. The Middle Finger key--or as vendor Goodworth & Co. calls it, the "Best Wishes" key--is...

Holy crap, can you imagine how many cookies the Cookie Monster would eat if he were high? Possibly all the cookies in the world. Which in a way would be interesting to witness, but in a bigger way very sad, because then I...

Streets, roads, lanes, avenues, boulevards, routes, and highways appear to have adequate coverage in the music industry. Enough to pack this inventive map of infrastructure-themed songs anyway. The 4-color litho print Song...

This opaque white curtain will make your unsuspecting guests crap in their pants when they walk into your bathroom to crap in your toilet. Possible side effects may include... a stroke, heart attack and worst of all... crying....

Chrono-Shredder is a clock, a calendar, a reminder that those who sit at home and simply watch time go by have lives filled with nothing but growing piles of shit on the floor. Poetic, no? Susanna Hertrich combines machine...

Corkcicle. Not only are this tchotchke's name and aesthetics cute 'n' clever, the item actually serves a utilitarian purpose. Keep white wines chilled, or bring red wines people who don't give a Corkcicle about wine have stored...

Papilla is a USB (and battery) powered lunch box that will reheat its contents. Turkish industrial designer Burcin Ceren Olcum created it so that busy professionals and people on the go have an option to enjoy healthy, homemade...

I don't think The Chippendales are in any danger, but the Nice Jewish Guys Calendar is certainly a good alternative. And you can display it proudly when Mom and Dad come over, or just make a quick switch before they arrive....