Household

Ice Core Beer Pitcher

$18.50 from Amazon »

An Ice. Cold. Pitcher of Beer. That you don't have to chug to keep ice cold for more than a few minutes. KegWorks has designed their group-size suds container to maintain your 60 ounces of brew ideally icy for hours...

Lockpick School in a Box

Discontinued

Obviously it's necessary to pick a lock only when you are a locksmith or have been kidnapped and held hostage in a locked room. Or, I guess, when you need to break into your ex-girlfriend's (aka Heart of Blackness) apartment...

Queensland Ironbark Drink Coasters

Grab your Foster's, Australian for "beer", and set it down on one of these branches of Queensland Ironbark, Australian for "coaster". The set of 6 drink platforms is handcrafted from the swirling colors and rich textures...

Exhale Bladeless Ceiling Fan

$500 - $600 from Exhale Fans »

Not that Dyson hasn't proven that fans don't need to look like a duck and walk like a duck to be a duck, but the Exhale bladeless fan is still the strangest looking thing I've ever seen mounted to a ceiling. I don't even...

Air Vent Hidden Safe with RFID Lock

$219.99 from Amazon »

Tough tamales if you're looking for air circulation this summer, but here at least your cash, Glock, and Chewbacca bandolier signed by all passengers of the Millennium Falcon will be hidden away and protected. It's Quick...

Shark Cocktail Shaker

You better have giant hands, a solid grip, and no fear to mix up a margarita in this savage of the sea. Not only is the Shark Cocktail Shaker fashioned in the whole-body likeness of a behemoth great white, but it also...

Wood Bathymetric Charts

$138 - $298 from Amazon »

Your favorite body of water, naked. This is a very seductive series of maps. The bathymetric charts, subsurface equivalents to topographic charts, are maps laser-cut into sheets of Baltic birch and hand-colored to depict...

Audio Jammer with White Noise Generator

Discontinued

I'm not a spy and I'm not up to no good. Relatively speaking. But what I am is a man who values his privacy. A man who doesn't need his mama bugging his room with some sensor system she bought off QVC to listen to him...

Iron Man 2 Swinging Sticks Kinetic Energy Sculpture

$289 from Amazon »

Even Tony Stark can't concentrate on anything else in the presence of the mesmerizing Swinging Sticks Kinetic Energy Sculpture. Not that Pepper's that interesting anyway. I'd probably be distracted by steam rising off...

Geochron World Map & 24-Hour Clock

$1,795 - $4,295 from Geochron »

The Geochron is one of the coolest maps I ever saw. Not only is it all big and backlit, but the map itself is a conveyor belt driven left to right in sync with the earth's rotation. So at any given time the Geochron and...

Old Leather Balls Coat Rack

$235 from fitzsu »

Ma'am, you're doing a mighty fine job of cupping those old leather...uh...antique boxing glove-inspired coat rack components. Sportify your front entry, home gym, or mancave with this nod to the Ali days of boxing. The...

Occam Coffee-to-Dining Table

I like that Occam guy. He invented the razor. Not the kind you shave with, the kind Matthew McConaughey used to convince Jodie Foster that she didn't jettison light years away in a space capsule to commune with aliens...

Clippa Hair Clip Multi-Tool

$9.95 from Amazon »

Sweet, now instead of asking my mama to carry my multi-tool in her purse, I can act like it's a fashion statement and have her carry it in her hair. The Clippa, like most women, is an accessory of many moods and dispositions...

The Office Spartan

$39 - $56 from Missing Digit »

If you aren't into chopping and dicing, but find yourself using a pencil every now and then, you can still incorporate an ornamental piece of Sparta into your life. Missing Digit previously blessed us with the Sparta...

Bussola Mechanical Skeletel Sculpture

While artist Jennifer Townley's Bussola is intricate and enamoring enough that I could probably watch it move all day long, for some reason watching it at all brings great uneasiness to my heart. Maybe it's the lumbering...

Chinese Takeout Laundry Hamper

$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Got some aromatic Moo Shu tube socks or accidental Kung Pao pants? Throw 'em in this Chinese takeout box hamper for easy transport to the laundromat and your mama's laundry room alike. The sweet (& sour) take on our favorite...

Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle

How precious. A floating puff of plant with an LED light at its end. Though overpriced by a factor of 8, the Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle is a clever centerpiece designed by Japan's Pianta x Stanza to look like...

6 Million Digits of Pi Poster

$20.95 from ExaText Posters »

It's Pi Day! Happy 3.14.15. You'll be able to celebrate this momentous occasion only once in your lifetime, so I hope you have something good cooked up for tonight. I myself will be living it up with many different types...

Shower Surfer Neoprene Bath Caddy

Know what your shampoo needs? A wetsuit. The Shower Surfer is a neoprene shower and bath caddy that secures implements of hygiene without: 1) falling off your shower head pipe and smashing your foot; 2) rusting; and 3)...

NES Cartridge Cutting Board

$40 - $50 from Etsy »

Dave Stencil of Cutting Boredom has a place for you to slice and dice your mushrooms. You know, in case you prefer to eat them bite by bite instead of chest bumping or head butting them to get bigger. His NES cartridge...

Digital Tape Measure

$34.94 from Amazon »

One thing I am not so great at is measuring things to within 1/16". How tedious it is counting all those little hash marks. I think we should just round to the nearest foot. That's what I did in the online dating profile...

Cinder Sensing Cooker

$499 from Cinder »

Cinder looks a little like a Foreman, acts a little like a sous vide machine, and makes the food it turns out taste a little like the best steak/salmon/caramelized onions you've ever had. At least according to the Sensing...

Onion Holder & Odor Remover

$14.74 from Amazon »

Some things that suck about raw onions besides the way they linger on my palate and infiltrate every burp I belch for the next 36 hours include: 1) Make me cry like a 9-year-old girl at her guinea pig's funeral when I...

Dandelight

$140 from Moma Store »

Have you heard of tulip mania, a period during the Dutch Golden Age when people were playing tulip bulbs like the pre-2008 real estate market, paying exorbitant amounts of money for what was essentially a big fat seed?...