Household

The Bark Potty

$38 Amazon »

The Bark Potty. High-paw for the wordplay there, ye makers of a mulch-filled pee and poop plat for pups. Intended both for housebreaking and apartments or urban homes where taking the dog out isn't always as easy as it...

Back to the Future Hoverboard Doormat

$50.99 Amazon »

"Hey McFly, you bojo! Hoverboards don't work on water!" Haha, suck it, Data! This hoverboard was made for water. And snow. And dirt. And that hunk of dog shit stuck to your Nike Air Mags some Biff of a pet owner didn't...

Candles of the Year by Anecdote Candles

The flicker fiends at Anecdote Candles hand-pour all of their candles using a coconut-soy wax blend, except the 2020 Candle of the Year, which they hired God to pour using his special concoction of fire and brimstone...

Custom Bookcase Quilt

$449 - $1,229 Etsy »

Ahhh, nothing like cuddling up under a cozy bookcase with a great book from the quilt. I mean, a cozy quilt with a great book from the bookcase. I mean, well, in this (book)case, both. Etsy shop Sew lt Seams Creations...

Star Wars Lightsaber Spatula Set

$17.50 Amazon »

The Star Wars Lightsaber Spatula Set represents both classic geekery and classy geekery. What cook, Star Wars fan or not, wouldn't want a pair of sleek and modern black & white spatulas with subtle, almost sexy, lightsaber...

Hedgehog Dryer Balls

$8.99 - $9.99 Amazon »

Important Note from hedgehog dryer ball online retailer, HONANK: "These cute hedgehog balls are only suitable for drying, they are not suitable for washing, because they can hardly withstand the number of rotations during...

Butter Twist - Spread, Cut, Measure, Dispense & Store

Sold Out Amazon »

I didn't say an empty Butter Twist looks less like a kitchen tool for spreading, cutting, measuring, and storing your sticks of butter than it does a male masturbator. You said an empty Butter Twist looks less like a...

LED Soap Dispenser with Light & Motion Sensors

$11.17 Amazon »

This light- and motion-sensing LED soap dispenser from Soap Brite would make a sudserrific gift for the kids out there who need some enticement to wash their hands. With its 7-color spectrum of festive, soothing, and...

Can Colander

$6.75 Amazon »

What, the Can Colander thinks it can just plop on into my canned tuna and black beans, and take away the joy of slicing my finger when I attempt to use the sharp aluminum lids I just cut off them to strain out the liquid?...

Magic Tap Automatic Drink Dispenser

Sold Out Amazon »

Using the Magic Tap, an automatic drink dispenser, isn't about being too lazy to lift a gallon of milk or Costco-sized bottle of OJ out of the fridge, and then heave it up to pour in my coffee or bowl of Poop Like a Champion...

Flame Effect Light Bulbs

$16.99 - $39.99 Amazon »

Brainstorm! These flickering flame effect light bulbs burn blue or orange atop an E26 bulb base - i.e., the standard size for most of your lamps, electrically wired skeletons, and Uncle Fester...

Kitchen Squeegee & Countertop Brush

$10.39 Amazon »

In thinking of what to tell you about this kitchen squeegee and countertop brush combo, I started thinking a lot about the word "squeegee." And then I started saying "squeegee" over and over again in my head. And you...

Grinch Christmas Tree Decoration & Ornament Holder

$50 Etsy »

I know. I've just put the Grinch Christmas tree decoration and ornament holder in front of your face 2 weeks before Halloween. I know. Normally, talking about Christmas before Halloween makes me throw up in my mouth and...

The Addams Family Uncle Fester Lamp

$2,720 Etsy »

Fester's Quest, based on the 1960s Addams Family TV show, was the first non-Mario, non-Tetris Nintendo game I ever got. It was really hard, and I sucked at it. Usually I died within 10 minutes, and spent the next 2 hours...

Shape Your Own Cake Silicone Molds

Sold Out Amazon »

She-Ra: Princess of Power baked me a cake today. Custom-shaped using a set of link-and bend silicone molds like these. It's a yellow cake with chocolate chips, frosted in mint chocolate icing, and decorated with...I don't...

Welaxy Drawer Organizer Trays

$39.99 Amazon »

Desk a cluttered mess? Junk drawer overflowing? Workshop look like a tsunami victim? Craft room - oh Baby Jesus, the craft room... Just take a deep breath, and Welaxy...

Prepara Tastemaker Liquor Infuser

$9.99 Amazon »

Prepara's Tastemaker Craft Liquor Infuser knows it takes you mere seconds to pour a shot of vodka, a minute to mix a vodka tonic, and a couple more to shake up the perfect Lemon Drop or Bloody Mary. But. If you're willing...

Staircase Storage Basket

$67.96 Amazon »

Welp, this Staircase Storage Basket is certainly a step up from strewing toys and books and shoes across the stairs. But would Marie Kondo wet herself over it? Would she approve at all? Or consider the wicker basket an...

Chopsy Smart Chopping Board

$99 - $129 Kickstarter »

From the Chopsy Chopping Board test kitchen: Chop, chop, everyone gather 'round. I've just met with the board and have some cutting remarks to share with you. We're almost ready to send slashers into the homes of all...

Talon Ice Tongs

$21 Amazon »

You think you have to protect your little furry friends from the sharp claws of flying predators? Better start minding your ice cubes too. The Talon Ice Tongs are coming for them...

iSiLER Portable Ceramic Space Heater

Sold Out Amazon »

It's fitting that the iSiLER Portable Ceramic Space Heater is bright yellow because that color communicates sun and warmth. And also mustard. And if you were around this time last year, French's Yellow Mustard Ice Cream...

Bacon Clothesline

Sold Out Amazon »

What's shakin', bacon? Aw, you know. Just hangin' out. The Bacon Clothesline is a statement piece made to get conversations, and salivary glands, flowing. Made for cooks, foodies, and Santa Claus (because what do you...

O3 Pure Ozone Eco Laundry System

$297 Amazon »

The O3 Pure Eco Wash is an ozone-generating unit that connects to your existing washer, bringing your dirty clothes a green laundry system that cleans without soap, detergent, or anything resembling a Tide Pod. Best of...

Alarm Signaling Device - Intruder Trip Line Booby Trap

$25 Amazon »

Set booty traps with the Alarm Signaling Device, an intruder-... Dude, it's "booby traps." That's what I said! Booby traps! God. These guys! So like I was saying, set booby traps with the Alarm Signaling Device, an intruder...