Household

Stuffed Animal Storage Bean Bag Chair

$23.95 - $39.95 Amazon »

I don't need this stuffed animal storage bean bag chair as a quick place to hide my childhood teddy and bunny, and my adulthood Baby Yoda (Grogu!) Squishmallow plush when people (i.e., my wife) come in my office...you...

Carbon Fiber Phantom Chair

$15k ALVARAE »

Not a ghost of chance I could afford ALVARAE's Phantom Chair, but if I ever become an evil villain, and acquire an evil villain's bank account, I'm all over the purchase of this phantastic carbon phiber design pheat...

Pewter Rowboat Salt Cellar

$44.99 Amazon »

Row, row, row your boat / gently towards the stew / Add a paddle of salt, a paddle of herbs / Seasoning's the key to good food! And this handsome pewter Divided Rowboat Salt Cellar could be the key to your search for...

Boob Pots (NSFW)

$20 Etsy »

A little succulence to display your succulents, anyone? These are Boob Pots. Knocker planters. Fun bag flower displays. And possibly the only thing about them that is as titillating as the Boob Pots themselves is the...

Star Wars Rugs

$108 - $729 Ruggable »

This collection of Star Wars Rugs from Ruggable is...illuminating. I mean, the Dark side in black-and-white damask. TIE Fighters in abstract houndstooth. The Empire Strikes Back in blue toile! I'm finally starting to...

Labrador Rug

$149.08 Etsy »

This Labrador Rug from Lillycrop Design blew my mind when I found it last night. Yes, it was late and I was overtired, but I was neither drunk nor high, and this optical illusion tripped me out. First I was like, "Labrador...

Puking Kitty Gravy Boat

$39.95 Amazon »

The Puking Kitty Gravy Boat is bllleeeccchhh! for the 2020 holiday season. In 2012 the couple behind the Puking Kitty puked up their first gravy boat in the likeness of their rescue cat, Mr. B. They ran the design as...

Marvel Spider Man Streetlight LED Desk Lamp

$79.99 Amazon »

My Spidey Sense tells me this Marvel Spider Man Streetlight LED Desk Lamp is a bright idea for a study / WFH gift, or gift for a geek who will get a kick out of hangin' with a hangin' Spider-Man whenever they need a little...

Aromatherapy Shower Steamers

$17.99 - $19.99 Amazon »

Obviously I'm writing about Cleverfy Aromatherapy Shower Steamers because my wife put them on her Christmas list this year, and I'm recommending them to you dudes as great options for gifts for your girlfriends and wives...

Haley's Original Corker

$8.95 Amazon »

Halley's Comet might be more impressive when it comes to celestial visuals, but Haley's Corker is where it's at for not spilling leftover wine in your fridge, and preserving open bottles with an airtight seal. And - no...

Aim Like a Jedi Not a Stormtrooper Vinyl Toilet Decal

$7.99 Amazon »

Aim Like a Jedi Not a Stormtrooper. It's solid liquid advice from a vinyl toilet decal, not only because most toilet owners would prefer their toilet users' pee to land in the bowl rather than outside of it, but also...

Stretch Clock - Make a Clock Out of Any Object

Oh good, what the Stretch Clock really is is a giant rubber band with a quartz movement and hour and minute hands you can assemble and stretch around any object to make yourself a DIY timepiece. With all the pedantic...

Sushi Kitchen Sponges

$9.99 Amazon »

Give your dishes a sushi sudsing and a sushi scrubbing with these Sushi Kitchen Sponges from Fred. The nigiri trio is called Washabi - a name to match the whimsy of the product itself - and includes a shrimp, tuna, and...

Hand Sanitizer Christmas Tree Ornament

$8 Amazon »

What would be really great is if there were some actual hand sanitizer inside this Hand Sanitizer Christmas Tree Ornament, because I'm about to run out...

Fire-Breathing Dragon Steam Release Diverter

Sold Out Amazon »

You might think this fire-breathing dragon steam release diverter has a fairly narrow buyer / gift recipient pool of people who own pressure cookers and instant pots. But...well, yeah OK, in thinking that you'd be right...

California Champagne Saber Company Sabrage Swords

$99.95 - $159.95 Amazon »

A nice bottle of chilled Champagne. A nice California Champagne Saber Company bubbles bottle sabrage sword. A little flair. A little flick of the wrist. A big POP! A big Champagne shower! A big celebration! A...oh f-...izzy...

Geometric Wooden Pet Bed

Discontinued

My cat, Zanzibar, would love this geometric wooden pet bed. Why? Because he knows the only recurring nightmare I have is about high school geometry class, and he would purr giddy in delight at the thought of his own cozy...

Dirty Talking Snowman Christmas Tree Ornament

$13.99 Amazon »

"Hey baby, try out your snow blower on this!" OK, maybe the Dirty Talking Snowman Christmas Tree Ornament isn't so much dirty as he is 4/10 inappropriate, 8/10 obnoxious, and 10/10 only invited to Christmas because he's...

3D Domed Glow in the Dark Star Dots

$9.99 Amazon »

These 3D domed Glow in the Dark Star Dots bring a next level night sky to the kids' room, or the living room whose ceiling you find yourself staring at more and more lately. The pack of 606 adhesive dots create a more...

Use the Force Bathroom Art

Sold Out Etsy »

When mere pushing, grunting, and clenching every other muscle in your body while sitting on the toilet doesn't work, use The Force. Or at least stare at this Use The Force bathroom art hanging on the wall for some comic...

Christmas Tree Toilet Plunger

$19.98 Amazon »

Seventeen years too late, but this Christmas Tree Toilet Plunger would have made a perfect prop in Christmas Vacation. A little something for Uncle Eddie to have tucked under his Meister-Brau-and-stogie-wielding arm during...

Scrabble Tile String Lights with Customizable Letters

$44.79 Amazon »

This set of Scrabble String Lights from Paladone comes with 10 illuminated 2.25" square Scrabble tiles that stretch 70" long. Tiles are blank, left for you to fill in with 60 reusable and interchangeable letter stickers...

VZ Punch Ripper

$80 VZ Grips »

Two choices with the VZ Punch Ripper: 1) Get your paws off; or 2) Get a bludgeoning, clawing 2.1" G-10 paw to the face...

TangoLL 2-in-1 Cooking Tongs & Spatula

$7.68 - $10.99 Amazon »

Flip, cradle, grab, scoop, spatongs! your food with this 2-in-1 Spatula & Tongs kitchen tool. The non-stick, heat-resistant utensil shifts effortlessly between a spatula for flipping and serving pancakes and hamburger...