Household

Fire Extinguisher Ball

$59.99 from Amazon »

In a way, AFO makes a fireball you can sling at your enemies to fight them off. But here your enemies won't be Goombas or Sagat, they'll be the flaming tongues of a stove fire or tipped-over candle, and your fireball...

Solar System in a Bottle

While Little Planet Factory, like science, has also shunned Pluto as a planet in its Solar System in a Bottle, I think they make up for it by having crafted and calibrated the 8 remaining MVEMJSUN to scale. At 1:5,000,000,000...

Crying Unicorn Candle

$24.79 from Firebox.com »

Is a crying unicorn a sign of impending doom or a hint that I should go get my coffee cup and drink up that rainbow magic for good luck?...

Safe-T Designer Fire Extinguishers

$99 - $199 from Safe-T »

Even fire extinguishers have succumbed to the pressure of making every piece of crap I own stylized, customized, and personalized so that it's uniquely representative of ME! Saving lives and avoiding burning down my girlfriend's...

Skull Gas Fireplace Logs

$69.95 from Amazon »

Time to surprise my girlfriend with a romantic night by the fire. And a romantic fire filled with human skull fireplace logs. Who knew bone made such fine kindling?...

Urchin Bean Bag Chair

$19,500 from Blackman Cruz »

The Urchin Bean Bag Chair. Just in case your BDSM bordello is missing a touch of magic from the sea. Designed by Ursula Blackman Cruz, this leather-upholstered lounger is certainly a standout in home decor. Some might...

Ghostbusters Ghost Trap Wall Hooks

Gotta hang that Venkman jacket somewhere. The Ghostbusters Ghost Trap Wall Hooks store your coats and, check out the GIF, contain your keys so they don't wreak havoc on your tidy home, or elude you when you need to go...

June Intelligent Oven

Sold Out from Amazon »

The June Intelligent Oven is the Oprah of skills: now YOU'RE a good cook...and YOU'RE a good cook...and YOU'RE a good cook! Yes, that's right, without training, practice, or talent June will make everyone think you're...

Bish's Tear Mender Fabric & Leather Adhesive

$5.48 - $18.11 from Amazon »

Question, Mr. Bish: does your Tear Mender adhesive work on all areas of fabric and leather textiles? Like say, for example, on the crotch of a pair of black leather pants that might have gotten ripped during an 80s theme...

Nuni Tortilla Toaster

$79.99 from Nuni »

I don't care how much I don't need a Nuni Tortilla Toaster, I need a Nuni Tortilla Toaster. Uno of all, tacos are the most delectable dish a human mind has ever conceived. Dos of all, when it's pissing rain outside, they...

Magna Cart Folding Hand Truck

$31.22 from Amazon »

I've used the Magna Cart to haul everything from my beer-filled cooler and portable grill, to giant boxes of old books the used book shop told me they didn't want either, to my girlfriend's fiddle leaf fig tree. Five...

Flameless Arc Lighter for Candles & BBQs

$19.97 from Amazon »

Like the slide, this flameless arc lighter is electric, so you can boogie-woogie-woogie through wind and rain, and without filling and refilling it with gas fluid. The long handle provides easier and safer access to hot...

Lekue Silicone Bagel Mold

$20 from Amazon »

I! Love! Bagels! Ilovebagels. And I'm not even related to Oprah. But once Oprah sees this bagel mold I'm about to get from Lekue I bet she'll want to come over to boil bagels and schmear 'em up with me like we're cousins...

Felt Stone Area Rugs

$135.87 - $2,119.57 from Etsy »

These felt stone area rugs and mats are an optical illusion! They look like a path of hard, smooth rocks, but are actually ultra-soft, textured rounds of merino sheep and llama wool. Oh man, now I'm torn. Should I put...

Butter Savers

$13.01 - $13.66 from Amazon »

My girlfriend loves it when I slice off a hunk of butter and then just kind of slap whatever wrapper remnants the knife didn't cut off back over the exposed end before putting the stick back in the fridge. The next time...

Mixologist's Bubble Cocktail Glass

Discontinued

Bubble Cocktail glasses are invertible domes of drinkware, transparent globes you can fill with your favorite tinctures and accents, and then flip upside down to balance and present on their silicone stoppers. Why? Because...

Vacuum Cleaner Mini Attachment Kit

$9.58 from Amazon »

Think of a mini attachment kit for your existing vacuum as a more dynamic, more effective, and way, way more adorable way to clean out the crevices of your computer keyboard, electronics, and car consoles than compressed...

WETNFIX Wall Plug Securers

$44.86 from Amazon »

WETNFIX gets it: sometimes you just need a little boost, get a little bigger to keep it from falling out of, or getting swallowed inside, the hole. Because the hole itself, that's already there. And whether it's just...

Darth Vader Grinder

$8.21 from Amazon »

Who'd-a thought Darth Vader could grind? It looks like the Dark Lord has added pulverizing your favorite herbs and spices with an Exorcist-caliber 360-degree spin of his head to existing his repertoire of menacing, saber...

My Paint Saint Touchup Kit

$13.49 from Amazon »

Yes, as you can see, My Paint Saint stores your cans of touchup paint together with their brushes for quick grabbing and instant touching upping. But the even better part of that visual: storing your cans of touchup paint...

Mason Jar Storage Racks

$19.98 from Amazon »

The best gifts I ever get are the ones I can eat, and especially the ones I can eat that come in a mason jar. Jam. Pickles. Moonshine. I even like beets. Oh, and dude, a lady from my office building gave me a mason jar...

Revolution Sideways Wine Glasses

$59 from GNR 8 »

What's nice about the Revolution wine glass being turned on its side is that it makes it easy for someone else to hold the stem and feed me more wine, or whiskey, when I'm too incapacitated to do it myself. Oh no wait...

Bam Vino Wine & Liquor Bottle Holders

$29.97 - $73.09 from Amazon »

Even if your Bam Vino is wearing the cap of your favorite MLB team, it's OK to pray for a swing and a miss when the bat's your $300 bottle of Richebourg Grand Cru. Or, if you're not into wine, this baseball player bust...

Tabletop Fireplace

$69.99 from Amazon »

Complement those lazy, hazy, crazy...miserable, cold-ass days of winter with a Vigo tabletop fireplace. The piece's dual stainless steel burners run on Moda Flame ventless ethanol fuel, so no electricity, gas, chimney...