Household

Alfred the Giant Crochet Octopus

$677 - $885 Etsy »

I can't tell exactly how giant Alfred the Giant Crochet Octopus is, but if the evidence in the image gallery above is any indication, he appears to be the equivalent of 1 x standard lady who has not yet mastered the art...

Dangling Animal Hanging Hooks

$14.88 Amazon »

While I normally wouldn't trust a monkey to hold my bananas or a cat to hold my houseplant any more than I'd trust a jewel thief to hold my Rolex, I feel like these Monkey and Cat Magic Tension Balance Hangers from Artori...

Monkey Planters

$149 - $399 Garden Glory »

A gold tooth plus a captain's hat equals a whole lotta monkey business in Garden Glory's Monkey Planters. Available in black and white, Monkey Planters are sculptural pieces of terracotta made for your beloved dracaena...

Lovers' Embrace Coffee Table

$14,950 Etsy »

The Lovers' Embrace Coffee Table, or, as I like to call it, the Sexy Time Coffee Table, has no known artist, date, or origin. At least not that its seller, Furnish Me Vintage, is aware of. Best guess is that the massive...

Mannkitchen Pepper Cannon

$199.99 Amazon »

Extreme grinding, anyone? Mannkitchen is frank in admitting their Pepper Cannon will unleash an "obscene amount of pepper" the first time you crank its aerospace grade aluminum head. Maybe too much pepper. Maybe enough...

FireSafe Outlets

FireSafe Outlets were developed by a New York City firefighter who's battled enough electrical fires to make your hair stand on end. Replacing the covers of your existing home or office outlets, FireSafe Outlets detect...

Morus Zero Ultra-Fast Portable Clothes Dryer

$599.99 Morus »

I don't know when they named it the Morus Zero. Yeah, it's an ultra-fast portable clothes dryer, but it's not so ultra-fast it dries your clothes in zero minutes. It should be called the Morus Fifteen. Which is still...

Dorai Diatomaceous Earth Dish Drying Pad

$90 Amazon »

Dorai Diatomaceous Earth Dish Drying Pad...no, wait, take out the "Earth." Dorai Diatomaceous Dish Drying Pad - say it 5 times fast. I'll hold while you look up how to pronounce "diatomaceous" like I did...

Continuous Spray Bottle with Ultra-Fine Mist

$7.95 - $9.99 Amazon »

Are you ready for continuous mist? That's right, Continuous. Mist. Because that's what this spray bottle offers. CONTINUOUS MIST. The texture? Oh, it's ultra-fine. Yep, just when you thought life was getting worse, something...

Pissing Boy Incense Burner

$25.99 Amazon »

Pissing Boy Incense Burner? More like Dribbling Boy Incense Burner. Come on, ye clever devils with the Manneken Pis mood-setting gift ideas, figure out how to add some arc to the boy's stream!...

Skull Toothpick Holder

Sold Out Amazon »

This popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth is gonna be the death of me! Ironic, because it looks like one of the toothpicks I need to dig it out was the death of this guy. The Skull Toothpick Holder makes a fun 'n' spooky...

Wall Sconce Fly Trap

$39.99 - $149.99 Amazon »

I do like me some bug zappers. Unfortunately, these Wall Sconce Fly Traps from Faicuk do not zap flies, they capture them in ultra-sticky glue boards. But Faicuk says this method is, in fact, even better, because it eliminates...

Strongman Beer Glass

$36.40 The Apollo Box »

Strong like ox meets strong like Brewmeister Snake Venom in this Strongman Beer Glass. It's the official stein of meatheads with both bulging biceps and bulging guts!...

Animal Plushie Chairs

Be still my heart! This animal plushie chair line from APcollection is so charming! So whimsical! So creative! So...uncomfortable-looking to sit on! Well. Three out of four ain't bad. Can't be any worse than the Giant...

Suspended Sofa

Suspend your disbelief! Or let Mark Mitchell suspend it for you with his Suspended Sofa. I don't know how, and I don't know with what, but Mitchell has figured out a way to make a sofa supported by a single side. Presumably...

Sunsa Wand - Retrofit Automatic Device for Blinds

$154 Amazon »

This retrofit wand will automate and motorize your existing blinds, so you can keep the blinds you love...or hate, but still already have installed. Makes a lot of Sunsa, 'eh?...

Wall-Mounted or Over-the-Door Clothes Drying Rack

$45.42 Amazon »

A wall-mounted / over-the-door clothes drying rack might not be much more convenient, or take up much less room while in use, than your standard collapsible drying rack, but it does give me an idea. Especially for a tiny...

Protected By F Around and Find Out Home Security Sign

$35 - $45 Amazon »

I'm not sure if this Protected By F Around and Find Out Home Security Sign will prevent thieves from breaking into your house, or encourage them to do it. I mean, some people just can't pass up a challenge. And others...

Elephant Soap Dish with Water-Draining Trunk

Sold Out Amazon »

Delightful. Precious. Wonderful. The best. Those are the words I am certain my wife and my mama will use...to describe me when I give them each one of these Elephant Soap Dishes (with water-draining trunks!) Just a lil'...

Myconos Levitating Firestone

$183 - $241 Myconos »

A little floating fire with a bioethanol flame blazing from a stone center. That sounds...well, it actually sounds about as safe as candles, incense, and tabletop fireplaces. And since the Myconos Levitating Firestone...

Deadpool Kitchen Knife Block

$169 Etsy »

A kitchen knife block, ha! Talk about the perfect unauthorized use of the Deadpool name and image! It might not be quite as fun to use as the fully licensed Marvel Legends Interactive Deadpool Head, but it's definitely...

Bridge Lamp

Now here's a lamp that really bridges the gap between art and functional lighting. Mark Mitchell's Bridge Lamp will obviously look outstanding running across your desktop or work table. But the designer says it will also...

Magpie Bilateral Laser Distance Meter

$149.99 Amazon »

Imagine having to move nine times across a room to measure it, and then imagine having to move zero times across a room to measure it. Oh how much faster and more efficiently will you measure the room! And oh how many...

The Chef's Press

$19 - $31 The Chef's Press »

The Chef's Press helps you smash your way to the perfect burger, and impress your dinner party guests with pristine criss-crossing grill marks on your chicken breasts and eggplant sides. Chef Bruce Hill created The Chef's...