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Teddy Bear Lamp

By: on February 04, 2014
Teddy Bear Lamp
  • Teddy Bear Lamp
  • Teddy Bear Lamp
  • Teddy Bear Lamp
  • Teddy Bear Lamp
$159
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Here's a gift for your kid. Or your girlfriend. And maybe for an extra $10 they'll throw in Teddy's head on a stake so there will be something in this whole bear lamp thing for you. I actually had a dream about the teddy table light last night. I ripped its shade off and threw the stuffed body at a black panther that had broken into my house. I thought it would distract him long enough for me to escape, but it turned out he liked the bear and stopped attacking me entirely to play with it, so we just chilled in my living room watching Full House reruns.

Suck UK's strange and slightly disturbing teddy bear lamp has a fabric-covered shade with reflective gold on the inside so he glows even more eerily when illuminated. His body is stuffed plush but strong so he can sit on any flat surface without toppling over. Measurements are 11-3/4" x 12-1/2" x 11-3/4".

Disclaimer: If you are threatened by a black panther in real life, it is unlikely this bear lamp will save you. In fact, I would give it a 35% chance that the bear itself might try to smother or burn you in your sleep.