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Your Slyce Pizza Topping Divider

By: on December 31, 2015
$18.99
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I guess the Your Slyce pizza topping divider--or as they call it, "personalization tool"--is a good idea for, say, the 1% of Americans who eat only 1 slice of pizza. For the rest of us, it's a terrible tease.

Oh hey, how's about the perfect slice of pizza? One that's completely custom sauced, cheesed, and toppinged to your liking. One that's guaranteed not to have your friend Cornelius' slimy pineapple or your friend Victor's rotten anchovy encroaching its borders. Great, here you go.

I know. It's exactly what you wanted, right? The best. The absolute best. What, you want a second piece? Well...huh...I didn't have enough room to make more than one bacon, onion & chili with a fried egg on top. But I do have a slice of cheese with no sauce my 4-year-old nephew barely took a bit out of.

Your Slyce indeed. Your Lone Single Measly Slyce.

On the plus side the non-stick silicone dough insert is flexible for easy clean-up and storage.

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Lucky Iron Fish - Iron-Infused Cooking Fish

This Lucky Iron Fish sounds as fishy as it looks. The palm-sized cooking tool says it can bump up your daily iron intake with 2 to 7mg of bioavailable iron when boiled in 1L of water or broth along with 2 to 3 drops of...

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Knork Matte Black Titanium Flatware

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Modern, industrial, functional, and Black. Knork's set of matte black flatware brings the company's combo cutlery concept to the Dark Side....

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Rocket Ship Potato Masher

$17 from OTOTO »

Might be a while before we can take a rocket ship to mars, so in the meantime, let's take a rocket ship to...mashed potatoes!...

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Punch in the Nuts Snack Mix

$18.99 from Amazon »

Mmmmm, nothing hits the spot like a Punch in the Nuts. This Punch in the Nuts Snack Mix listing includes 6 nut-punching bags filled with cashews, peanuts, chocolate bits, and raisins. Get ready to whack your taste buds...

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Yomo Simple Sushi Maker

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People always talk about sushi making as this formidable, elusive craft that many have tried, but all but the most elite and Jiro-Ono-blessed have failed to execute well. And while I basically agree with this assessment...

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F*ck, That's Delicious

$20.25 from Amazon »

When I see the title F*ck, That's Delicious, all I can think of are the words, "Mm-hmm! This is a tasty burger!" I wonder if Action Bronson uses Jules Winnfield, or the Jules Winnfield talking action fig

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Grubbin' on the Couch Bowls

It's time for a tactical chowdown. No Netflix marathon is complete without a parade of snacks on the coffee table, and every parade marches better with a bowl of Froot Loops as its grand marshal. Frosted Flakes if you...

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Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill

$32.94 from Amazon »

Whole wheat in the toaster, bacon in the...other toaster, a yank of the iceberg, a slice of the tomato, and mmmm. BLTeee-licious. Without turning on the stove or getting popped in the eye with a grease BB....

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biem Instant Stick Butter Sprayer

$129 - $159 from Biem »

Whether you're looking to cut back on the butter or blanket your whole life in a dewy sheen of it, the forthcoming biem Butter Sprayer could be as revolutionary for your popcorn and toast as the Slotdog is for your wieners....

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Raclette Interactive Party Grill

$109.82 from Amazon »

Raclette grills epitomize the best way to host a dinner party: make all the guests cook their food themselves. Named for a Swiss cheese that melts well, raclette has evolved to include a Swiss style of interactive dining...

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The Whisk Wiper

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What is this whiskcraft I see before me? You mean worming my tongue between the wire loops and getting chocolate cake batter all over my face isn't the best way to clean off the whisk when my girlfriend is baking? Nah....

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Foodini 3D Food Printer

$999 - $1,200 from Natural Machines »

I am 0% surprised that someone made a 3D food printer. If we can print jewelry and home decor and machine parts and sugar, why shouldn't we be able to print dinner? Barcelona-based company Natural Machines has created...