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Your Slyce Pizza Topping Divider

By: on December 31, 2015
$21.92
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I guess the Your Slyce pizza topping divider--or as they call it, "personalization tool"--is a good idea for, say, the 1% of Americans who eat only 1 slice of pizza. For the rest of us, it's a terrible tease.

Oh hey, how's about the perfect slice of pizza? One that's completely custom sauced, cheesed, and toppinged to your liking. One that's guaranteed not to have your friend Cornelius' slimy pineapple or your friend Victor's rotten anchovy encroaching its borders. Great, here you go.

I know. It's exactly what you wanted, right? The best. The absolute best. What, you want a second piece? Well...huh...I didn't have enough room to make more than one bacon, onion & chili with a fried egg on top. But I do have a slice of cheese with no sauce my 4-year-old nephew barely took a bit out of.

Your Slyce indeed. Your Lone Single Measly Slyce.

On the plus side the non-stick silicone dough insert is flexible for easy clean-up and storage.

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Punch in the Nuts Snack Mix

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Mmmmm, nothing hits the spot like a Punch in the Nuts. This Punch in the Nuts Snack Mix listing includes 6 nut-punching bags filled with cashews, peanuts, chocolate bits, and raisins. Get ready to whack your taste buds...

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F*ck, That's Delicious

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When I see the title F*ck, That's Delicious, all I can think of are the words, "Mm-hmm! This is a tasty burger!" I wonder if Action Bronson uses Jules Winnfield, or the Jules Winnfield talking action fig

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Yomo Simple Sushi Maker

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People always talk about sushi making as this formidable, elusive craft that many have tried, but all but the most elite and Jiro-Ono-blessed have failed to execute well. And while I basically agree with this assessment...

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Raclette Interactive Party Grill

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Raclette grills epitomize the best way to host a dinner party: make all the guests cook their food themselves. Named for a Swiss cheese that melts well, raclette has evolved to include a Swiss style of interactive dining...

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SpiceStack Spice Organizer

$29.99 - $38.92 from Amazon »

SpiceStack is a rack that tucks away your herbs on tidy shelves when you don't need them, and then flips them down for easy viewing and easier access when you do. And for once, I'm talking about the herbs that go in your...

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Amazingly Accurate Tomato Slicer

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Convince anyone you're an Olympic tomato wrangler with the Arc "Amazingly Accurate" Tomato Slicer! I don't know how often you need to segment out one of the juicy vegeta-fruits, but for me it's...eh, not that often. Maybe...

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Grubbin' on the Couch Bowls

It's time for a tactical chowdown. No Netflix marathon is complete without a parade of snacks on the coffee table, and every parade marches better with a bowl of Froot Loops as its grand marshal. Frosted Flakes if you...

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Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill

$29.99 from Amazon »

Whole wheat in the toaster, bacon in the...other toaster, a yank of the iceberg, a slice of the tomato, and mmmm. BLTeee-licious. Without turning on the stove or getting popped in the eye with a grease BB....

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biem Instant Stick Butter Sprayer

$129 - $159 from Biem »

Whether you're looking to cut back on the butter or blanket your whole life in a dewy sheen of it, the forthcoming biem Butter Sprayer could be as revolutionary for your popcorn and toast as the Slotdog is for your wieners....

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The Whisk Wiper

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What is this whiskcraft I see before me? You mean worming my tongue between the wire loops and getting chocolate cake batter all over my face isn't the best way to clean off the whisk when my girlfriend is baking? Nah....

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SKINZIT Electric Fish Skinner

$149.95 from Amazon »

Skin my fish? But, but--to quote my grandma when I said I didn't want to eat anything from bread crusts to chicken gizzards when I was a kid--that's the best part! The SKINZIT Electric Fish Skinner says it makes quick...

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ManBuckets

$42.99 - $89.99 from Amazon »

Mmmm. Munching on some spicy coated peas from my Sir Racha ManBucket to kick off Saturday morning. To be followed immediately, or whenever my girlfriend says it's ready, by a bacon, mushroom & cheddar frittata drizzled...