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Polar Bear Ice Tray

By: on April 02, 2013

Not only is a polar bear ice cube tray adorable and perfect for assuaging the injuries of children who hurt themselves doing something stupid that you told them not to, but the design itself is also highly utilitarian, solving two very irritating ice tray issues. 1) No sloshing or mass spillage transferring the liquid-filled mold from the sink to the freezer. 2) No more dropping and dumping cubes all over the green earth while attempting to dislodge them post-freeze.

To use, fill the bear's feet and belly like a water bottle, affix his nose lid, and toss him in the cold box. Or place him there gently. I'm fine with whatever you decide. The tray's 360-seal will keep your contents from absorbing odors from other freezer food, as well as make breaking the ice great fun when it comes time to body slam Polar B on the counter to loosen his cubes, which will then tumble effortlessly out of the same snoutal region that the water streamed in hours before.

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Igloo Party Bar Cooler with LiddUp Lighting

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Geizeer Ice Cube Air Conditioner

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Make that "Geizeer Super Cheap and Eco-Friendly Ice Cube Air Conditioner." (And it's actually pronounced "Guy-zer," not "Gee-zer," even though in my head it will always be the latter.) At an operational cost of less than...

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I don't have a lot of space for outdoor furniture, so I like the double duty Keter's Cool Bar has agreed to pull for me. Part side table, part - surprise! - cooler, and it doesn't even look big and clunky, or like an...

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The Whiskey Wedge

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One thing I can't stomach is getting piss drunk on piss warm whiskey. And though I do enjoy the array of giant cubes and fancy globes and Darth Vader-shaped ice molds now available for me to chill it with, their stubborn...

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Boobs Ice Luge

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And you always thought she was an icy bitch because you couldn't get to second base. The Boob Luge puts a positive spin on the cold reality of interacting with women. Also, just like in the good ol' days of infancy, it...

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Herb & Lou's Cocktail-Infused Ice Cubes

$15.99 from Herb & Lou's »

Melted, not stirred. Herb & Lou's Infused Cubes arrive as 3 things waiting to happen: 1) 12 blocks of ice; 2) 12 rounds of tasty cocktails; and 3) 12 times the good times, since you won't have to play bartender all night....

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Griz Coat

$249 - $299 from Griz Coat »

I just named a bear one of my Top 10 choices for animal reincarnation, and now, as if in answer to my plea to the forces of nature, the Griz Coat is back. In time for winter. In time for the holidays. In time for looking...

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Gripforce Retractable Cleat Ice Boots

$299 from Gripforce »

Where were Gripforce's retractable spike boots when I was taking the banana peel challenge?! The Swedish-designed "Intelligent Winter Boot" intends to stamp out 2 widespread problems with cold weather footwear: 1) slipperiness;...

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Flexi Freeze Ice Vest

$99.99 from Amazon »

My ex-girlfriend Karen doesn't need a Flexi Freeze cooling vest because the ice in her heart is strong enough to chill her entire chest cavity, but if you do a lot of manual labor, have to wear a heavy costume, or are...

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AK47 Ice Cube Tray

$3.08 from Amazon »

I wonder what happens if you're choking on an ice cube? I think I would just calmly wait until it melted like a complete gangster. Though last week, I almost choked on my wad of 4 pieces of trident gum and went into hysterics...

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Battle-Rattle Whiskey Chillers

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As a Platoon Leader in Ft. Carson, CO, Garrett Coker made a bet with a buddy on who would nab the higher Gunnery score. The winner would receive a bottle of Scotch. Coker won. He saw his buddy again a few years later...