Even if I weren't the Laziest Man Alive I could get down with a king-size mattress hoisted atop a solid wood porch swing bed. Swaying supine in the June breeze, dozing and drooling, sipping 7 & 7 Big Gulps...ahhh, it's the Summer 2014 of my dreams. And I've still got 2 months for that old lady I've been playing Backgammon with on Thursdays to die and leave me the money to make it happen.
Jim and Robin Cannon of GOD's Rustic Workshop in North Carolina craft their swing beds with locust accents and oversized arm rests for holding drinks and bowls of Juanita's crack tortilla chips with guacamole. Each pastoral lounger comes with an 8" thick futon mattress, rope supports, and 4 eye bolts. Customers accept full responsibility for hanging the swings without breaking them, their porches, or their own toes in the process.
Available in Twin, Full, Queen, and King sizes, the Twin porch swing's mattress measures 39" x 75" x 8", and outer dimensions 44" x 91" x 25". King mattresses increase to 76" x 80" x 8", and frames to 81" x 96" x 25". The pictured bed is supporting a queen mattress, which the Cannons note allows enough room for several people to fit comfortably. Several is great, but a note to the ladies: just 3 would suit me just fine.