Mr. Knox Wooden Safe
Muahahaha, Mama! You'll never be able to steal my Bailey's Irish Cream again once I hide it within the impenetrable walls of the Mr. Knox wooden safe!
I mean, unless she has an axe. Or a match.
Or figures out that the CNC-cut gears on Stephan Siepermann's "99.9% safe" don't actually lock it.
In reality, Mr. Knox is just a nifty cabinet made in whimsical salute to its heavy steel counterpart. Siepermann's gears do turn in the same way as a similar steel safe's though, and can at least open/close the cabinet's door even if they can't keep the sticky fingers of boozy matriarchs from accessing its contents.
The wooden safe is made of 15mm lacquered Peppelplex and stands 47" tall x 24" wide x 18" deep.