Aperture Science issues the following warning: Leave a Jack & Coke ring on the wife's/girlfriend's/mom's/anal retentive UFC fighter's European Oak table, and your ass is grass. They'll know instantly, too, because it's a hypercolor table. Instead, set your glass on one of Enrichment Center's special issue coasters. Decorated with testing chamber warning signs that appear throughout Portal 2, the set of 8 furniture protectors are made of ceramic and backed with cork board.
In addition to preserving permeable surfaces, the coasters warn those using them: Don't drink the fountain water. Don't condensate. Beware of falling Companion Cubes. Beware of electrocution pursuant to water submersion. Beware of...being launched into the air? Ummm...the act of running will create 3 parallel lines in your stead? OK, so I'm a little rusty on Portal 2. Leave me alone! You would be too if you spent all day long scouring the Internet for cool products and always struggled with video games anyway, even as a child, because you had the reflexes and fine motor skills of an English Bulldog.