106

Portal 2 Warning Sign Coasters

By: on January 03, 2013
$29.95
Check It Out

Aperture Science issues the following warning: Leave a Jack & Coke ring on the wife's/girlfriend's/mom's/anal retentive UFC fighter's European Oak table, and your ass is grass. They'll know instantly, too, because it's a hypercolor table. Instead, set your glass on one of Enrichment Center's special issue coasters. Decorated with testing chamber warning signs that appear throughout Portal 2, the set of 8 furniture protectors are made of ceramic and backed with cork board.

In addition to preserving permeable surfaces, the coasters warn those using them: Don't drink the fountain water. Don't condensate. Beware of falling Companion Cubes. Beware of electrocution pursuant to water submersion. Beware of...being launched into the air? Ummm...the act of running will create 3 parallel lines in your stead? OK, so I'm a little rusty on Portal 2. Leave me alone! You would be too if you spent all day long scouring the Internet for cool products and always struggled with video games anyway, even as a child, because you had the reflexes and fine motor skills of an English Bulldog.

TODAY
5 Keter Cool Bar - Outdoor Table & Cooler
Buy Now

Keter Cool Bar - Outdoor Table & Cooler

$139 from Amazon »

I don't have a lot of space for outdoor furniture, so I like the double duty Keter's Cool Bar has agreed to pull for me. Part side table, part - surprise! - cooler, and it doesn't even look big and clunky, or like an...

Check it out

Vapshot Vaporized Alcohol System

$1,299 from Vapshot »

The Vapshot Mini Home System is a countertop liquor vaporizer. It looks kinda like an air pump at the gas station. It acts kinda like one too. Except instead of pumping on a hose to inflate your Goodyears, you'll suck...

Buy Now

Liquor Log Booze Dispenser

$109 from Amazon »

Now this is the kind of Yule Log I'm talking about. How better to bring good tidings to you and all of your kin than with a nice bottle of Jameson or Jack chug-a-lugging out the tap on an urban harvested Ohio hardwood...

Check it out

Handmade Slanted Bar Glass

$120 from Glassblower Ben »

Calling the Slanted Bar Glass "handmade" isn't quite right. More accurately, it's lung-blown. The lungs doing all the blowing are those of Ben Dombey, a New Orleans glassblower who creates fine artisan bar glasses to...

Buy Now

Carbon Fiber Race Track Drink Coaster Set

$59.99 from Amazon »

These Carbon Fiber Race Track Drink Coasters are light, fast, and slick. Which is exactly what I myself am going to be long about the 6th beer I set on one of them this 4th of July weekend....

Buy Now

Mistaken Lyrics Coasters

$25 - $30 from Amazon »

We've all done it. We've all badgered someone else for doing it. And really, song lyrics misheard, mistaken, and butchered are almost always more fun than what the artists are actually singing anyway....

Check it out

Jerry Can Bar Cabinet

$679 from AHA »

Some call it the can that won WWII. Even though the Germans created the Wehrmacht-Einheitskanister, American and British forces quickly copied the design and used it for the efficient storage and safe transport of fuel...

Buy Now

Bibo Barmaid Cocktail Machine

$199.99 from Amazon »

If you actually drink Appletinis and Mai Tais, the Bibo Barmaid is the gadget for you. If you don't, hey, an automatic cocktail machine. The perfect gift for your girlfriend, your wife, or maybe your tequila-swiggin'...

Buy Now

Ship in a Bottle Whiskey Decanter & Dispenser

$99 from Amazon »

I don't care how they got this ship in the bottle as long as I know how to get the booze it's sailing through out. A wood base handcrafted in Kentucky serves as a classy pedestal to the mounted glass whiskey decanter...

Check it out

Portal GLaDOS Ring

Discontinued

Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating Systems now come in finger-sized. GLaDOS rings make it easy for all to show off their loyalty to the eye of Portal's most beloved piece of sociopathic artificial intelligence. Created...

Buy Now

Phantom Skull Decanter

$33 from Amazon »

I'm not sure the skull in this decanter is so much a phantom as it is a piece of glass blown inside a bottle. But you don't have to tell your kids that when you warn them about what Skully McSkullface will do to their...

Check it out

Portal: No Escape

A live action short (just under 6 minutes) from Dan Trachtenberg set in the world of the Portal video games. A woman wakes up in a room with no memory of who she is or how she got there... Sounds like my Sunday morning....