Radiation-Proof Banana Handset

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You've always known bananas are healthy, but did you know holding one against your face can prevent brain tumors? Apparently, you can also use them to communicate with your mother. The Radiation-Proof Banana Handset for mobiles connects via a 3.5 mm audio jack to all smart phones with, uh, a 3.5 mm audio jack. Some examples of these types of phones include the iPhone (obviously the banana is compatible with the Apple), Motorola, and Blackberry models. The Banana Handset has received endorsements from the following important people: Inspector Gadget; monkeys; and Gwen Stefani, the latter of whom taught us all not only how to spell the word "banana", but also how to cheer it in a sarcastic voice of retaliation against Courtney Love. Speaking of pop stars, I bet Mariah Carey likes the Banana Handset too. Because that chick is most definitely F'ing bananas.