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Outward Hound Tuff Guy Dog Toys

By: on May 17, 2016
$15.08 - $31.89
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It's fuzzy stuffed hedgehog meets 'roided out meathead in this toy for your dog that you'll probably buy just as much as a gift for yourself. Outward Hound's Tuff Guy dog toys squeak, grunt, and huff for your pooch while their bulging pecks, 6-pack abs, and flexing-or-just-constipated? expressions pump [clap] you up as you watch the two play.

Or, more likely, watch your dog rip Tony, Hank, or Lars apart faster than the bodybuilders can do a set of power curls.

Oh yes, the Tuff Guys have names. Tony, pictured above, is described as a former boy bander who began questioning the manliness of his music after the group failed to produce a second hit after "Layers of Love." He rebelled, got kicked out, and then channeled his anger and despair into his workouts, eventually winning the World's Strong Dude competition 3 years in a row. Mustachioed Hank grew his mus-kles at a young age, working in his daddy's lumber yard. As an adult he parlayed his strength into 72 straight UXC wrestling titles. And bald Lars has been bald his whole life. Because, he has always said, "Hair doesn't grow on steel." Lars is a former European hockey player who retired to Montana, where he's now pursuing country music fame.

While the Tuff Guys are no longer active in their body pumping and brute force pursuits, any of them would still be happy to throw down with your boxer or labradoodle.

By the way, when I say "fuzzy stuffed hedgehog meets..." I mean it. Check out the Tuff Guys' backs. Yikes. If they survive Fido's jaws of destruction for a month, I think you owe them a series of laser treatments.

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

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Muscle Suits

$735 - $3,499 from Flex Design Costumes »

The body builders at Flex Design Costumes might be the only body builders on earth who can guarantee they'll jack up, carve out, and rip your muscles to shreds with absolutely no effort on your part beyond telling them...

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No More Woof - Dog to Human Translator

$65 - $400 from No More Woof »

From the Nordic Society of Invention and Discovery--yes, that's a real society, not one made up by Wes Anderson--comes No More Woof, a device that lifts up the latest technology in micro computing and EEG, and plops it...

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King Bed with Doggie Insert

Discontinued

Jason Barton made a king bed with enough room for the King of the Bed. Which means you'll be sleeping on a cut piece of memory foam stuck in the 23" insert tacked onto its side....

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Calmz Anxiety Relief System for Dogs

$129.99 from Amazon »

The Calmz Anxiety Relief System thinks it can settle down your nervous pup using some of the same techniques research shows help people with the same high levels of stress and anxiety. Have you seen the weighted blankets...

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Cat Cool Pot Bed Pet Cooling Tray

Japan Trend Shop says the Cat Cool Pot Bed "functions as both a pet bed and as fun decoration to make your cat look cute." I thought they were going to say the dish made from "cooling aluminum" functions as both a cat...

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Dog & Cat Temperament Leashes & Collars

$14.99 - $19.99 from Amazon »

Dexil's leashes and collars announce your dog or cat ahead of its licks and wags...or tucked tails...or snarls, hisses, claws, and teeth. The line of leads and restraints display pet temperament both by color and big...

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Oscillot Cat Containment System

On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...

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iFetch Automatic Ball Launcher

$105.58 from Amazon »

iFetch isn't the first automatic ball launcher for dogs, but it's about half the cost of the Go Dog Go, and I am more partial to iFetch's video of the dancing Boston Terrier than I am to Go Dog Go's of the spastic Puggle....

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AeroBull Speakers

$699 - $1,999 from Jarre »

Jarre loves them some funky speakers (remember the AeroTwist?) Their AeroBulls go canine with sound system design, turning French bulldogs into in-house HD and rechargeable travel speakers whose bark, I'd imagine, far...

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Feisty Pets

$19.99 - $29.99 from Amazon »

These Feisty Pets are the perfect way to teach your kids about the true nature of animals. All cuddly puppy and squishy bear and magical unicorn at first sight, but get too close and...Rrrrrawwwrrr! Back the F off, son...

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Your Pet's Fur Watches

Wait! Don't throw away the dog fur you just lint rollered off the couch, or the cat hair you dug out of the vacuum cleaner filter! Stuff that cuddly wad of goodness into a Ziploc and ship it off to Analog Watch Co. They...