10

Outward Hound Tuff Guy Dog Toys

By: on May 17, 2016
$15.08 - $31.89
Check It Out

It's fuzzy stuffed hedgehog meets 'roided out meathead in this toy for your dog that you'll probably buy just as much as a gift for yourself. Outward Hound's Tuff Guy dog toys squeak, grunt, and huff for your pooch while their bulging pecks, 6-pack abs, and flexing-or-just-constipated? expressions pump [clap] you up as you watch the two play.

Or, more likely, watch your dog rip Tony, Hank, or Lars apart faster than the bodybuilders can do a set of power curls.

Oh yes, the Tuff Guys have names. Tony, pictured above, is described as a former boy bander who began questioning the manliness of his music after the group failed to produce a second hit after "Layers of Love." He rebelled, got kicked out, and then channeled his anger and despair into his workouts, eventually winning the World's Strong Dude competition 3 years in a row. Mustachioed Hank grew his mus-kles at a young age, working in his daddy's lumber yard. As an adult he parlayed his strength into 72 straight UXC wrestling titles. And bald Lars has been bald his whole life. Because, he has always said, "Hair doesn't grow on steel." Lars is a former European hockey player who retired to Montana, where he's now pursuing country music fame.

While the Tuff Guys are no longer active in their body pumping and brute force pursuits, any of them would still be happy to throw down with your boxer or labradoodle.

By the way, when I say "fuzzy stuffed hedgehog meets..." I mean it. Check out the Tuff Guys' backs. Yikes. If they survive Fido's jaws of destruction for a month, I think you owe them a series of laser treatments.

Buy Now

Shed Defender Dog Onesie

$39.99 - $61.99 from Amazon »

Will zipping your dog into a Shed Defender make him look like a canine fool? Sure. But no more so than putting him in pet samurai armor or an AT-AT costume for your personal viewing pleasure. And while the latter have...

Check it out

Muscle Suits

$735 - $3,499 from Flex Design Costumes »

The body builders at Flex Design Costumes might be the only body builders on earth who can guarantee they'll jack up, carve out, and rip your muscles to shreds with absolutely no effort on your part beyond telling them...

Check it out

No More Woof - Dog to Human Translator

$65 - $400 from No More Woof »

From the Nordic Society of Invention and Discovery--yes, that's a real society, not one made up by Wes Anderson--comes No More Woof, a device that lifts up the latest technology in micro computing and EEG, and plops it...

Check it out

The Dude Dog Sweater

$49 - $59 from Pendleton »

If The Dude were a dog, there's no question this Pendleton sweater is what he'd wear. But. What kind dog would he be while wearing it? St. Bernard? Shar-Pei? Scruffy hound dog?...

Check it out

Your Pet's Nose Ring

$284.99 from Etsy »

I'm all for loving your pet...and your pet's nose. But your pet's nose as a ring? Even if the sweet pup or kitty has moved on to taller trees and bigger litter boxes, I'm not sure wearing a sterling silver cast of their...

Check it out

Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

Check it out

King Bed with Doggie Insert

Discontinued

Jason Barton made a king bed with enough room for the King of the Bed. Which means you'll be sleeping on a cut piece of memory foam stuck in the 23" insert tacked onto its side....

Buy Now

Wooly Snuffle Foraging & Feeding Mat for Dogs

$49.95 from Amazon »

No, it's not a scalped Fraggle, it's the Wooly Snuffle Mat. Here to facilitate one and restrain another of your dog's instilled canine instincts with its shag-rug-on-acid pile....

Buy Now

iFetch Automatic Ball Launcher

$114.99 from Amazon »

iFetch isn't the first automatic ball launcher for dogs, but it's about half the cost of the Go Dog Go, and I am more partial to iFetch's video of the dancing Boston Terrier than I am to Go Dog Go's of the spastic Puggle....

Check it out

Oscillot Cat Containment System

On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...

Check it out

You Is Fine Bears

$17 - $49.99 from Love Is Lame »

Do you love her? Eh. Is she cute? Heh. She is way beyond cute, dude. Hot? HOT. Like... Hotter than Olivia Munn all tatted up and devouring a chili dog in a Xena costume? Uh.... Basically every time I see her all I can...

Buy Now

Feisty Pets

$19.99 - $29.99 from Amazon »

These Feisty Pets are the perfect way to teach your kids about the true nature of animals. All cuddly puppy and squishy bear and magical unicorn at first sight, but get too close and...Rrrrrawwwrrr! Back the F off, son...