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Outward Hound Tuff Guy Dog Toys

By: on May 17, 2016
$15.08 - $31.89
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It's fuzzy stuffed hedgehog meets 'roided out meathead in this toy for your dog that you'll probably buy just as much as a gift for yourself. Outward Hound's Tuff Guy dog toys squeak, grunt, and huff for your pooch while their bulging pecks, 6-pack abs, and flexing-or-just-constipated? expressions pump [clap] you up as you watch the two play.

Or, more likely, watch your dog rip Tony, Hank, or Lars apart faster than the bodybuilders can do a set of power curls.

Oh yes, the Tuff Guys have names. Tony, pictured above, is described as a former boy bander who began questioning the manliness of his music after the group failed to produce a second hit after "Layers of Love." He rebelled, got kicked out, and then channeled his anger and despair into his workouts, eventually winning the World's Strong Dude competition 3 years in a row. Mustachioed Hank grew his mus-kles at a young age, working in his daddy's lumber yard. As an adult he parlayed his strength into 72 straight UXC wrestling titles. And bald Lars has been bald his whole life. Because, he has always said, "Hair doesn't grow on steel." Lars is a former European hockey player who retired to Montana, where he's now pursuing country music fame.

While the Tuff Guys are no longer active in their body pumping and brute force pursuits, any of them would still be happy to throw down with your boxer or labradoodle.

By the way, when I say "fuzzy stuffed hedgehog meets..." I mean it. Check out the Tuff Guys' backs. Yikes. If they survive Fido's jaws of destruction for a month, I think you owe them a series of laser treatments.

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Muscle Suits

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No More Woof - Dog to Human Translator

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

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Wooly Snuffle Foraging & Feeding Mat for Dogs

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No, it's not a scalped Fraggle, it's the Wooly Snuffle Mat. Here to facilitate one and restrain another of your dog's instilled canine instincts with its shag-rug-on-acid pile....

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Jason Barton made a king bed with enough room for the King of the Bed. Which means you'll be sleeping on a cut piece of memory foam stuck in the 23" insert tacked onto its side....

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Tired of the neighbor's cat Willard and his local gang of raccoons letting themselves in your dog door to clean you out of tuna fish and play poker at your kitchen table? Lock them out with SureFlap's Microchip Pet Door...

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Ruffwear Highlands Sleeping Bag for Dogs

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The Ripple Rug Cat Play Mat

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On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...

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Do you love her? Eh. Is she cute? Heh. She is way beyond cute, dude. Hot? HOT. Like... Hotter than Olivia Munn all tatted up and devouring a chili dog in a Xena costume? Uh.... Basically every time I see her all I can...

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These Feisty Pets are the perfect way to teach your kids about the true nature of animals. All cuddly puppy and squishy bear and magical unicorn at first sight, but get too close and...Rrrrrawwwrrr! Back the F off, son...