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In-Home USB Polygraph

By: on November 18, 2012
$99.95
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Find out whose pants are on fire from the comfort of your own living room and USB port. The USB Polygraph for in-home use (read: barrels upon barrels of monkeys, particularly when anyone expected of cheating or doing other nefarious activities behind closed doors gets just drunk enough to be convinced that they're being hooked up for a simple blood pressure screening) claims 80% to 99% accuracy, and suggests users dig in to spice up their parties and games of Truth or Dare.

The USB Polygraph requires no training and little skill to operate, which is the perfect combination for pretty much all of us who are likely to operate it. After plugging one end into a PC's USB port, just strap the sensors to your test subject, and hit run on the software. Then enter questions, get answers, and let the wonders of our digital age cause massive blowouts, terminate friendships, and maybe, finally grant your wish to have Jesse's girl.

Lie detection kits include:

  • A real polygraph machine
  • A pulse finger clip
  • Skin galvanization finger wraps
  • A breathing apparatus (huh? Like a paper bag?)
  • A USB cable
  • An electronics box
  • A CD-ROM with polygraph software

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007 Motorized License Plate Masks

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Reverse Peephole Viewer

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The Killer Key

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The Killer Key is for law enforcement officials, landlords with squatters or evicted tenants, and pranksters who thrive on taking things one step too far. See, the key blade inserts into any Kwikset or Schlage brand lock...

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The Bond Next Door: Top 11 Tools for the Everyday Spy

RC surveillance mosquitos and robotic hummingbirds as security cameras may not be perfect tech yet, but they're on the rise and constantly improving, with some available to commercial markets for testing. And even looking...

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Gentleman's Bogotas - Lapel Lockpicks

$34.95 from Rift Recon »

Bogotas fit for a gentleman. Lockpicks that pin and tuck all suave and covert beneath the lapel of my jacket. Now this is something I need...for no reason whatsoever. But I'm not here to talk about what I need. Add Gentleman's...

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Shomer-Tec Laser Surveillance Defeater

$58.39 from Amazon »

All some people (i.e., my girlfriend) want is for people to listen to them. All other people want is for people to stop listening to them. For the first group I can try to extend my attention span to at least 7 minutes...

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Dartz Prombron Black Shark SpyKar

Almost more than I would recommend checking out Russian car maker Dartz's Prombron Black Shark--a vehicle they term the world's first real SpyKar--I would recommend checking out what Dartz head Leo Yankelovich has to...

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Shomer-Tec Titanium Escape Ring

$59.99 from Amazon »

Shomer-Tec's Titanium Escape Ring won't just serve as a symbol of your love for and commitment to your wife, it will also get you out of the handcuffs that chick from the hotel bar leaves you in after she Roofies you...

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Sonic Assault Electronic Disruption Device

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File it under "Prank." "Leg Up." "TCB." Or "Revenge." Shomer-Tec's Sonic Assault Electronic Disruption Device looks like no more than a nondescript gray box--a useless one, perhaps. You can even flip its switch and nothing...

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Titanium Lock Picking Card

$49.99 from ITS Tactical »

Not that I'm one to break and enter, but...I could be if I had ITS Tactical's Titanium Entry Card. Made of aircraft grade titanium, the 0.032" thick "emergency" lock pick tool set fits just as easily into wallets as it...

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Covert Escape Nickel Compass

$24.48 from Amazon »

If I had a nickel for every nickel that's ever gotten me out of a pickle, I'd have...one Shomer-Tec Nickel. Because, holy Thomas Jefferson, dudes, the Shomer-Tec nickel isn't just your average five cent piece. It's also...

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Rift Recon Red Team Kit

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Rift Recon terms themselves Physical Security Specialists. They explain what that is in about 500 words of fancy and circumlocutory jargon, the essence of which I'm pretty sure means they cater to high-class Shady McShadersons....