SpitJack Magnum Meat Injector Gun
Isn't there a Meat Is Torture bumper sticker out there? I think the SpitJack Magnum Meat Injector Gun is about to inspire its antagonist: Torture Your Meat. This thing looks ominous. Like a kitchen tool I want emphatically prohibited from crossing the threshold to my bedroom, bathroom, or anywhere else my normally-covered orifices might be exposed. Still, the ability to adeptly imbue my roasts and loins and steaks with juicy liquid infusions that will heighten my meat-eating experiences makes sharing a home with the Magnum worth the risk.
SpitJack's injector gun penetrates meat at depths of up to 5-1/2". Its dial controls the flow of marinade or seasoning mix, allowing between 1 and 5 mL per shot. The tool includes two needles, one with a slanted open tip for injection mixtures with solid particulates, such as oregano flakes or Bac-Os, and another with a closed end and side perforations for pure, moisture-packing liquids.