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Mermaid Glass

By: on February 28, 2014
$7.28
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I remember the first time I saw Daryl Hannah walking naked around the Statue of Liberty in Splash. I thought I would have an erection for the rest of my life. But then later in the movie, when she's mermaided out in the bathtub and you see her tail up close, I became utterly repulsed. It was heinous. All scaley and slimy and...obviously missing anatomical parts vital to a woman's appeal. I wonder if Tom Hanks realized when he went to live with her in the ocean at the end that he would never get laid again. Probably not. Sucker.

So now that we've covered how disagreeable mermaid tails are, who wants to sip a Jack & Coke out of one? I can at least assure you that this mermaid is made from heat-resistant borosilicate glass, not fish flesh and guts. The glasses hold 100 mL, or about 3.4 ounces of liquid, which is about 2 shots, which is a strange volume, but whatever. I think we've adequately established that mermaids are weird. Glasses sell singly or in sets of 2 and 5.

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Finfolk Custom Mermaid Tails

By what magnitude would the awesomeness of mud wrestling increase if all the ladies participating got to wear a Finfolk Productions 100% dragonskin and platinum cure silicone mermaid tail? Muddy, slippery, rolling on...

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