Crypteks USB Drive
Digital passwords, encryption software, purity rings, and LDS allegiance all claim to guard the goods, but they don't physically lock them. Said goods are still vulnerable to breaches, negligence, or too many shots of tequila, any of which may irrevocably compromise the goods holder's identity, and shatter the smooth cadence of his or her life. The Crypteks USB drive is a chastity belt for the goods. With its five alpha-coded outer rings, it is the first storage device with a literal dead bolt safeguarding the private and sensitive information it purports to protect. And don't worry, it has 256-bit AES Hardware Encryption and integrity and class, and all of that intangible stuff that defines a wholesome and sensible piece of technology as well.
Unlike the high school locker combination you still have stress dreams about forgetting, Crypteks combinations are both simple and customizable. Change yours as often, and work through as many of the 14,348,907 possible permutations, as you like. To set, remove the USB stick, unlock the attached cap, and slide off all of the outer rings. Come up with an amalgam somewhere between Syrian security codes and Joycean prose in terms of difficulty to penetrate, reinsert the rings with your new password aligned with the red dots, and you're set.
An ultra-high-grade aluminum alloy gives Crypteks drives their shape, with an anodized patina adding some style and combating grubby finger oils and dust. Stainless steel springs are high tensile strength to maintain smooth operation when turning the outer rings. And the stick is tiny--3.1" tall, with a mere 1.1" waistline. Bitch. 4GB, 8GB, and 16GB storage options are available, as well as a special edition black model. Compatibility is for Windows, Mac, and Linux. The 8GB model currently runs $130, including US shipping.