Pickle and bacon candy canes. A good start, indeed, but now we need flavors hamburger, ketchup, and cheddar. And maybe bun, though if the former requests were met, I would be willing to break my Christmas sticks into pieces and eat my total sugar domination bacon cheeseburger on an actual bun. Whole grain, of course.
One thing that's pretty cool about these candy canes is they are gag gifts that will actually make their recipients gag. I love literal interpretations of idiomatic expressions. Though I guess "gag" technically has the secondary dictionary definition of "joke" so really this wordplay would be better described as a double entendre. Holy crap, does anyone know what I'm talking about?! Yeah, me either.
Accoutrements' pickle and bacon candy canes both come in box sets of 6, as well as a great big bacon version called Jumbo Bacon Candy Cane, which is sold singly. They represent excellent ways of preventing the kiddos from eating all of the decorations off the Christmas tree this year, though they may have the opposite effect on the dog. Dogs looove pickles.