Portable Sauna

By: on July 01, 2012
Portable Sauna
Check It Out

Although it appears to be a handy portable torture device for captured spies or fraternity pledges, what we actually have before us is an Infrared Sauna for at-home use. Replete with two, 600-watt heaters purported to stymie fat cells, soothe stiff joints, and pistol-whip sluggish metabolisms, this zip-up, fold-up, F'd-up looking contraption may just be the key to lasting weight loss, corporeal rejuvenation, and zombie virus immunity.

Once snug as a bug in a rug inside the sauna (a folding chair is included), users will feel the heat accruing and penetrating their flesh in only a minute. Temperatures are automatic and calibrated to maximize blood and lymph circulation. Whether any of these desirable effects actually occur, or if the product is just two pieces of aluminum foil lined with asbestos, I couldn't really say, as I have never tried the Portable Infrared Sauna myself. I have, however, tried many non-portable saunas--even the infrared flavor here and there--and found them to be very toxin-removing. Highly capable of extracting the leftover essences of the extra spicy Kung Pao Chicken and one too many Jack & Cokes I consume without fail every night for dinner.

Functional or flop, one thing's for sure: once the Infrared Sauna meets the TARDIS, it's gonna be an eternity of schmoopy PDAs and those two love birds living happily ever after.

Sauna measurements are 41" tall x 24" wide x 17" deep.