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Killing Hitler With Praise And Fire

By: on December 20, 2015
$14.99
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It's a choose your own adventure book that marries the past, the future, and one of the worst human beings in the history of the world. (See, look on the bright side Wu-Tang Clan: at least it was Martin Shkreli and not Adolf Hitler who shelled out $2 million for your album). In Killing Hitler With Praise And Fire: Choose Your Own Horrible History the reader plays a time traveler from the year 2525 whose decisions lead to over a 100 different paths towards either killing Hitler, or eliminating him prior to his rise in power to (theoretically--don't discount the butterfly effect!) make the world a better place.

Author Matthew Hutchins has developed storylines in 13 different time periods for adventurers to explore. Victorious outcomes "range from the standard shoot Hitler in the face to the darkest Lovecraftian horrors."

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Amabilis Dave Jr. Waterproof Duffel Bag

$139 from Amazon »

Weekend adventurers, consider welcoming Dave Jr. to your family. The little tyke version of Amabilis' Dave Duffel is a bag built to stay strong and dry when you want to travel hard and light....

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A Die Hard Christmas

$15.29 from Amazon »

Yippee Ki Yay! A Die Hard Christmas: The Illustrated Holiday Classic is going to be on every kid's man's gift list this year. (Kids probably won't want it. They'll think the John McClane brand of killing and violence...

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Jeep Adventure Tires

By: Jeep »

If you thought nothing could beat off-roading on the weekends, imagine this: off-roading on-road during your weekly commutes and leisurely drives around the 'burbs. Jeep Germany's new Adventure Tires, on sale starting...

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The Espire Gas Mask

Carlos Schreib created the Espire respirator for professional varnishers and chemical engineers who don't want to work with a heavy filter over their mouth or walk around the office looking like an evil steampunk doktor....

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The World's Longest Tunnel Slide

$15 - $22 from ArcelorMittal Orbit »

Virtual reality may be a rising star, but the ArcelorMittal Orbit is going all-out, balls-to-the-wall IRL this summer with its curving, spiraling, plummeting tunnel slide. Dubbed simply "The Slide," this 584-foot-long...

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Jerry Can Bar Cabinet

$679 from AHA »

Some call it the can that won WWII. Even though the Germans created the Wehrmacht-Einheitskanister, American and British forces quickly copied the design and used it for the efficient storage and safe transport of fuel...

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Skylodge Adventure Suites

$290 - $315 from Natura Vive »

In between rock climbing 1,000 feet up the face of a mountain and zip lining back down, why not spend the night suspended square on the side of it? No, not at the top. And not on a ledge. In a geometric cocoon made of...

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Fontus Self-Filling Water Bottles

$165 - $200 from Fontus »

"Self-Generating Water Bottles" might be a better description of Fontus' incredible new designs. Presuming they work as stated (this is another crowdfunding campaign after all), Fontus Airo and Ryde bottles don't just...

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Nerf Mega Mastodon

$71.99 from Amazon »

You could wait for Black Friday. Orrrr, you could make today Red & Orange with Accents of White & Black Friday, and get the Nerf N-Strike Mega Mastodon a solid 6 weeks early so you'll have time to test it out yourself...make...

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An Anthology of Erotic Pokemon Go Stories

$8.88 from Amazon »

It's hard not to fall into daydreams of bondage and public groping when someone mentions Pokemon Go. Jason Miller, having lost one too many Ivysaurs and Wartortles to visions of dominating them with more than just his...

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Stoner Coffee Table Book

$10.46 from Amazon »

Steve Mockus presents: the Stoner Coffee Table Book. For that special kind of stoner who enjoys smoking out solo, and needs an activity more interactive than staring off into space, but less mentally taxing than playing...

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People I Want to Punch in the Face

$9.99 from Etsy »

A comprehensive collection of people you want to punch in the face. This is the little black book anyone can fill. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to order a few Rude Books, 'cause you know you're gonna want...