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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/anatomical-gummi-bear-in-clear-4588.jpg "Anatomical Gummi Bears")
This anatomical view of what lies beyond the high fructose corn syrup and Yellow Dye No. 5 of their epidermises paints Gummi Bears in a new light. Gives them some identity. Some humanity. Makes me feel kind of bad for eating...
/Steampunk-Optimus-Prime-388.jpg?mode=crop "Steampunk Optimus Prime")
My theory is that this might actually be Optimus Prime and this guy has captured him, found some way of disarming him, and is now trying to sell him. I don't know if I'd be comfortable sleeping with this guy roaming around...
/poseable-sterling-silver-lego-7753.jpg "Poseable Sterling Silver LEGO Minifig")
For $475, a single hunk of solid .925 sterling silver cast as a LEGO Minifigure wouldn't do me much good. But divide that hunk of sterling into 8 separate pieces, and then rejoin them as fully moveable and poseable parts, and suddenly the possibilities for entertaining myself with Metalfig v. Minifig octagon fights over the foreseeable future are nearly limitless, and the price for the collectible...
/The-Bad-Banana-937.jpg?mode=crop "The Bad Banana")
Everyone knows that Japanese people are out of their fucking minds a little bit eccentric when it comes to... everything, but that's why we love them. This streaking flashing banana, I think, captures that eccentricity pretty...
/presidential-monster-action-6584.jpg "Presidential Monster Action Figures")
Just one question: how did Romney as the Ronmy make it into this set of Presidential Monster Action Figures? Some wishful thinker jump the gun on production? Because if we're throwing in any old yayhoo just for running, how's...
/star-wars-cats-pincushions-7832.jpg "Star Wars Cats Pincushions")
One thing I really do not like is cats. Which makes them the perfect subject for a pincushion. Their Star Wars spin trips me up a little--it's going to be way less gratifying to stab a Han Solo cat in the gut than it would be just to stab a cat in the gut--but at least this way it will be slightly more justifiable for me to have a collection of felt feline sewing accessories displayed on my bookshelf...
/your-face-on-a-superhero-3392.jpg "Your Face Superhero Action Figure")
I see your face on a wedding cake topper, and raise you your face on a Joker action figure. Have people always complimented your Batman-esque jawline? Admired your Superman benevolence? Bowed to your biting Joker wit? Had...
/ms-naughty-talking-keychain-5753.jpg "Miss Naughty Talking Keychain")
Did you know the squeezable, talk-raunchy-to-me Miss Naughty Doll also comes in compact, white elephant gift-ready keychain size? Until now, I didn't. I mean, a bookish, wholesome guy like me didn't even know a full-size Miss...
/Project-Squadt-968.jpg?mode=crop "Project Squadt")
These little guys remind me of the characters in the movie 9. This collaboration is pretty cool and comes with a back story and a rabid internet fan base. Each "squadt" can stand alone, or form a part of a large collection....
/lego-haunted-house-4821.jpg "LEGO Haunted House")
I find it somewhat difficult to believe that this is LEGO's first ever haunted house, but according to the man with the German or maybe Nordic or maybe Eastern European accent in the video, what lies before you is indeed the...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/vampire-hunters-wedding-cake-3941.jpg "Your Face Zombie & Vampire Hunter Figurines")
Looking for an undead-slaying wedding cake topper? How about an ass-kicking Mini Me? Jessica of Etsy's Jess' Shop customizes zombie and vampire hunter figurines with buyers' own faces and clothing specifications to inject...
/tony-montana-action-figure-2857.jpg "Scarface - Tony Montana Action Figure")
If Tony Montana--or Al Pacino himself--ever wanted a Mini-Me, this would be it. In fact, looking at the photo closeup, it's hard to tell action figure Scarface is indeed only an action figure, he's so expertly designed and...
/Sekhmet-From-the-Toypocalypse-43.jpg?mode=crop "Sekhmet From the Toypocalypse")
This creature is made from the deaths of other toys.... after they're recycled first to make Al Gore happy. He stands 10 inches tall and has at least 5 different ways of killing you if you count squashing your head like a...
/Crazy-Cat-Lady-Action-Figure-1701.jpg?mode=crop "Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure")
There is one in every neighborhood. Her lawn is left unkempt all summer. The paint is slowly chipping away from the outside of her house. You fear having any type of interaction with her. And of course, what she lacks in husbands...
/Double-Machine-Gun-Check-Norris-41.jpg?mode=crop "Double Machine Gun Chuck Norris")
Just when you thought Chuck Norris couldn't get any cooler. Enter double machine gun Chuck Norris. Set this guy on your desk as a loyal companion, or by your front door as a crap in pants inducing bodyguard or a nice between...
/sports-team-nesting-dolls-6572.jpg "Sports Team Nesting Dolls")
Oh look, people who understand sports, a 5-piece matryoshka doll set handmade in Russia to the professional or collegiate team specifications of any rabid fan. The featured 49ers set depicts actual players. For example, all-star...
/mousemask-murphy-4983.jpg "Mousemask Murphy")
Mickey Mouse in a gas mask. That definitely looks Disney-approved. And I hear Mousemask Murphy is to be voiced by James Earl Jones in the forthcoming 3D animated film intended to make children insist on sleeping in their parents'...
/Bob-Ross-Finger-Puppet-1095.jpg?mode=crop "Bob Ross Finger Puppet")
Imagine the joy of owning a finger puppet of the man who taught us the joy of painting. That's a serious amount of joy. I got that joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart. Where? God, I'm in such a great mood thanks to this finger...
/Mini-Dwight-and-Mose-764.jpg "Mini Dwight and Mose")
"When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I...
/The-Hangover-Bobblehead-562.jpg?mode=crop "The Hangover Bobblehead")
Not at the table, Carlos. I own this miniature, inanimate, though somehow no less intrusive version of Alan, and the dude has actually woken me up in the middle of the night with his endless ramblings. It almost give me a...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
